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Turning Point

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I can't help but think a conversation with my mother is behind my recent weight loss. On a trip home during Thanksgiving weekend, my mom had a few mins alone with me. Initially she was pumping me for info about a rough time I had with my DH. I did not really want to tell her the specifics even though the episode was behind me. But I did give her the reader's digest condensed version. In that same convo, we talked about how being fat wasn't really about the food. (My mother is a rail). It was the first time in a long time, it seemed to me, that my mom understood...me.

Then she asked me if I was happy.

That's a biggie.

The she said she just wanted me to to be happy.

Whoa bigger one.

I've waited and wanted this acceptance from her my whole life. Who is this woman and what have you done with my mother?

And since then, I have been dropping the pounds.

I have a lot more on my plate (so to speak) since then. Chief among these, kidney issues and diabetes. I was also told yesterday that I have gall bladder disease. WTF! I did start crying when I hung up the phone from the doc's yesterday. It's been one thing after another these last few days. Honestly, it's been a lot to take in, but it is better than hearing you have cancer or something else. So I will just go to the specialist and hear what he has to say in a couple of weeks.

So for now, I am focusing on maintaining my blood sugar in an appropriate range and learning to make my body more receptive (instead of resistant) to insulin. I went to the diabetes nutrition specialist last night and she was helpful in learning to put all of the pieces together. Basically, it's just "good eating" - along with monitoring your sugar to make sure you are not ingesting too many carbs at one time. I can do this. My body is giving me a reason to do this.

I'm off work for the rest of the month. This rachets down my stress level enormously. I am taking advantage of this time by focusing on myself for a change. It's freezing cold here but I am going to go get my hair cut today. I am excited about that. :) I'm going to go to the supermarket and pick up a few items that will fit into my plan. I have the luxury of putting myself first these days.

What can you do for yourself that keeps you at the front of the line?

Happy sparking, sparkies!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GIBBLES5 12/19/2010 10:22PM

    Wow... is all I can say!

Hugs to you!


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DJS-DEBBIE 12/14/2010 3:20PM

    I had the gall bladder laproscopic surgery too this year. It isn't too bad but if you have to have it, make sure you get rest. I definitely went back to work, etc, too quickly.

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TERRIJ_1 12/14/2010 11:25AM

    You Rock !!! emoticon

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DIFROMWYOMING 12/14/2010 11:24AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LINDAINALABAMA 12/14/2010 10:49AM




THANKS emoticon

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DONNAEDA 12/14/2010 10:13AM

    our loved ones can really surprise us. As for gall bladder disease, I had mine out laproscoply and it was a breeze. Easier to deal with that surgery than the symptoms and discomfort. Take one step at a time. I got rid of all diabetic medicine when I lost 75 pounds. Now my blood sugar is normal. So all is good at the end of the tunnel. Just hang in there and be good to yourself.

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SLFRISBEY 12/14/2010 10:04AM

    Reading about getting the acceptance from your mom that you needed made me tear up. I am so happy for you! I wish I could know what that feels like but all I have to go on are memories. Maybe one day, if I ever decide to have children, I will be able to share that with my child. :)

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GAYLE-G-63 12/14/2010 9:55AM


My mother is diabetic, also. And at first it seemed like the end of the world. When she told me, she cried. This is a woman who has always been my rock.

That was in 1996. But she learned how to control it and lives a very normal life. You can, too. Even with all the other issues you have having. You're going to live a long and healthy life!


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KOBER9999 12/14/2010 9:28AM

    I'm so happy for you.
You Go, Girl! You Go!!!
Keep Sparkin'!
Spark On!

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BESTSUSIEYET 12/14/2010 9:20AM

    I admire you and am thankful that God is showing you the blessings in your life. Glad you have the time off and glad for the info you got from nutritionist. And VERY glad that Mom's comments were so freeing ... at last! Have a very blessed Christmas!

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ANIKA34 12/14/2010 8:32AM

    Glad to hear that you got what you needed from your mom! I know how much that means to get the reinforcement we crave so much. My dad is on insulin, and he has to check his sugar 6 times a day, but with eating properly he is able to maintain it most days. He has never been one to eat more than once or twice a day, so that is the big adjustment for him to eat more frequently and smaller portions. You can do this! Try to relax some while you are off work for the rest of the month!

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SARAWALKS 12/14/2010 8:25AM

    emoticon emoticon
Thanks for stopping by my page! I hate it that spark stops blog notifications if you miss clicking on one link...so now I've caught up.
Wow, double wow. I'm so happy that your mom has finally displayed some warmth and caring toward you and that she wants you to be happy! What a thrill!
You're gonna be a calorie arsonist yet! emoticon
and I just know that you'll wrestle those health issues to the ground.
Glad you have some time off to be good to you! emoticon

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MKT-PLAN 12/14/2010 8:16AM

    I'm happy for you! Go girl, go!

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SHELLEY147 12/14/2010 8:12AM

    So happy you got such a weight lifted off your shoulders! I'm glad you got what you've been needing from yor mom....emotional issues can really stop weight loss...and now yours has been lifted! YAY! ~hugs~

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ONEKIDSMOM 12/14/2010 8:08AM

    So glad you got that reinforcement from your Mom! Not everyone is given the gift, and it's so good that you got it.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Keep on Sparking! emoticon

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Mobilizing the Troops

Thursday, December 09, 2010

I'm still dealing with Cap'n Kidney Stone and will go today for ultrasounds (one for kidney, one for gallbladder) and tomorrow I will meet with a urologist.

I thought Mother Nature was being a little b*tchy when she sent me "shark week" this week as well. I have not had that sucker in MONTHS,...but when I am down and vulnerable, you send it? HA! I seem to be all kinds of bloated one minute and nearly drained the next. Fluid intake is your friend.

I feel like I am mobilizing to come to my defense with all my medical issues. A few days on the bp meds, my bp has dropped to normal/excellent. I am either not hungry or not as focused on food. I will say I am a whole lot less ANXIOUS. I was always fretting about work issues (many of them internally) and my people pleaser mode put me on edge, but I am much more chill these days. I am letting work take care of itself (actually one of my staff members and my boss are splitting my workload).

My portion control is happening naturally. I am taking smaller bites, eating when I am hungry and drinking tons of water. My body is undergoing a lot of changes on its own. I am just here as the caretaker, and I am finally getting a little better at my job.

I weighed in today at 379.4. I have not been at this weight since before 2008. Good things are happening, and more on the way.

What do you do to take good care of yourselves, Sparkies?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SARAWALKS 12/14/2010 8:26AM

    This is great news, Mickey! You go girl! emoticon emoticon

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MUGGLE_MOM 12/10/2010 10:59AM

    I love reading your blogs! You go girl!!!! Keep it up!!! Hope you're feeling better soon!

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BAYBELIEVER 12/9/2010 10:29PM

    I read your blogs to take care of myself! All those wonderful things you are doing just help keep me going too!

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LINDA emoticon

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FRAN_CVLRN 12/9/2010 4:15PM

    Some great thoughts, Mickie

. emoticon

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DIFROMWYOMING 12/9/2010 11:27AM

    emoticon on your new low weight! WOOHOO!
I loved the term 'shark week' but honestly, I'd just sit down and cry now if I had one! It is the ONE great thing about being OLD...oh that, and you know everything...LOL.
Glad you are working on YOU and your BP is better. You are WONDERFUL and I'm happy to have you as my sapphire sister.

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LARIJOY 12/9/2010 11:12AM

    I'm happy to hear that you are doing better, keeping going with this enthusiasm! Good things will keep happening.

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SLFRISBEY 12/9/2010 11:06AM

    Love that "shark week". :) Way to go on the portion control and eating when you're hungry... I need to get better about that!

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DONNAEDA 12/9/2010 10:56AM

    you go girl. Sometimes life gets in the way of our successes, but it seems like you are handling them. Congratulations

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RIGBY31 12/9/2010 10:35AM

    You are making huge strides on so many levels. And what a perk... the weight loss is terrific!! Things will settle soon for you, just ride it out. When I get into a bundle, I take myself out of the chaos (physically, emotionally or both!) and take it slower. Have a great rest of the week.

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CONTENTCHRIS 12/9/2010 10:16AM

    Your doing great . The Main thing is consistancy and sticking with it. I hope you have a better week and a happy day. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Good blog, Mickie! I'm glad you're moving forward and doing so well! emoticon

I take good care of myself by doing all the health prevention that I can! emoticon

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Just What the Doctor Ordered

Friday, December 03, 2010

Ring, Ring.

Pick up telephone.

Nurse calling from the Doctor's office.

We got your blood work back.

Do you have diabetes?


Response: Oh yeah,...you do.

I did a good job of not going "aaaaaah" into the phone. Apparently there were no notes on my chart that said, "break news to patient gently."

Am I kind of freaked out by it? Yes. But, it's the best thing that has happened to me recently. I could not kick my own booty into gear. I was spinning my wheels and not putting a great effort into my health. This bit of news and a few other tidbits has turned me into the poster child of wellness.

1. I have left work after 8 hours most days, instead of 12+ hrs,
2. I am eating fruit instead of juices, scones or other things.
3. I've lost 3 lbs this week.
4. I've taken all my meds.
5. I told my hubby I need some downtime this weekend. (he does, too.)
6. I made an appt with a nutritionist (Dec 13).
7. I have to work an event tonight, so I am not going to go into work until later.
8. I am setting parameters with clients at work. I'm working things out according to my schedule.
9. I am delegating like crazy. Us control freaks sometimes have a hard time w/ that.
10. I laughed at my own antics this morning. This tells me more than anything, I am going to be just fine. I'm back to normal.

What blessings in disguise have you had, sparkies? And have I told you how awesome you guys are? You ROCK!!!

Have a great and healthy Friday. Woot! Woot!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1STARVINGARTIST 12/7/2010 1:58AM

    Your attitude is amazingly positive. With that kind of outlook you will have it beat in no time. You can do it! You are the awesome sparkie!
emoticon emoticon

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LOOKN_UP 12/6/2010 12:48PM

    Yeah, I wonder why some professionals in the health field are so rude... sorry about that, and for the diagnosis.
But it sounds like your on the right path and with a great attitude! You're an inspiration to me and I'm sure to others as well. Keep in touch.
Char emoticon

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TERRIJ_1 12/5/2010 12:54PM


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BAYBELIEVER 12/3/2010 11:51PM

    You keep showing your awesome attitude this week! Good for you! You can overcome this! And you already know that because you are working so hard at it. Keep moving. Exercise helps not only keep your metabolism running but also helps your insulin to work properly and longer. Sedentary is out. We are some movin' women!

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SUSANS111 12/3/2010 5:32PM

    Yeay!! Good for you!

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BJWESTON70 12/3/2010 2:39PM

    Way to take charge! Good Luck and take care of yourself!

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MSHOPPER63 12/3/2010 1:40PM

    Wow girl I wish you would talk to my husband. He does not take care of his diabetes and he's only 140 pounds. He eats all the wrongs foods, way too many carbs !!

I am so proud of you. With that attitude I bet in 6 to 12 months you will no longer have diabetes listed on your chart.

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ADIPOSEROSE 12/3/2010 9:55AM

    Hey--of all the medical "bad news" we can get, kid, this is not the worst. (I've been diabetic for 12 years.) Make sure you get 6-8 hours' sleep (I got this way doing 4.5 and thinking I was accomplishing so much more than everyone else--talk about your classic Type A!); use the nutrition tracker to monitor your carbohydrate and fat intake (ask your doctor to tell you how many grams/day are right for you, then put those numbers into the tracker); and go for WHOLE (not "multi") grain bread and pasta over anything white (for which "multigrain" is just another euphemism). Exercise, exercise, exercise! You don't have to run a marathon, just MOVE. And drink plenty of water, especially if your glucose is high. (Picture molasses running around in your veins . . . it crowds out the oxygen, and that's what makes you feel so draggy all the time.) I eat a bowl of Quaker Old-Fashioned oatmeal with a small banana every morning--good for cholesterol and diabetes, too. And the bonus is that if you lose enough weight, chances are you will stop being diabetic. That's my goal. (For years, I wouldn't say the "d" word--I was "glucose challenged.") Just be careful, especially at the beginning, about "spiking" yourself into hypoglycemia. When your sugar is high, you feel the way you do after Thanksgiving dinner--sleepy, a little goofy, and somewhat cranky. When it's low, you feel shaky the way you do when you have the 'flu--not shivering, just weak in the knees, like you're about to pass out. Make sure you carry a small piece of candy around with you, in case that happens--or drink a small glass of orange juice or even a shot-glass gulp of regular Coke, if you have to. It can take a while for the doctor to get your meds just right, so you need to watch out for both. emoticon emoticon Let me know if I can help in any way!

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AFTERMYKIDS 12/3/2010 9:45AM

    First off AMEN to #9. I have a time with that one still. Congrats on taking control of you LIFE and NOTABOUTHEFACE's profile picture says it ALL. It is what YOU MAKE IT!! YOU are making it! emoticon

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TINARENA2 12/3/2010 9:43AM

    You're doing great. I've found that when you give companies your extra time, they expect it. I don't give them a second over my normal schedule. We have imporant lives to live and it's not at the office!

Good for you!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DIFROMWYOMING 12/3/2010 9:31AM

    Glad you're being proactive about your diabetes...I wish I could say my diagnosis got me here, but I spiraled more out of control for a couple years first! You CAN control it with diet and exercise...so work with that nutritionist and get going!

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LAURA9021 12/3/2010 9:21AM

  My husband has Type II Diabetes, it is so important to take care of yourself! Your plan sounds great - keep the stress low. The nutritionist should be very helpful too. Good luck! emoticon

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    Congrats on the loss and the delegating things at work. Stress makes us hold on to weight and I definitely notice a difference on the scale when we're going through more stress than normal so kick it to the curb, keep on your current track and know you'll send "the big D" packing soon!

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Back in Step

Thursday, December 02, 2010

Recent news made me take a minute to pull myself together, but I am there now. I unloaded it in my last blog and now I am ready to move on.

Sure, there will be challenges, and adjustments, and in some cases, just acceptance, but that does not mean that I will avoid doing my part. That was my cop out attitude of the past. Now I see how much my participation means to overcoming these barriers to good health.

Scared straight?

Maybe. and that's ok. Whatever it takes to shake myself out of the funk I had been living in - the one that thought it was ok to have a scone for breakfast, and not eat much during the day only to come home and night and chow down.

My "diet" has been stellar since I went to the doc's on Monday. Big A for improvement!

Slowly but surely, I am now turning this bus around. I am the driver! Think of this bus as more of a Partridge Family scene (and not a big ugly school bus).

What has been your biggest catalyst, sparkies?!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDAINALABAMA 12/2/2010 11:41PM








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BAYBELIEVER 12/2/2010 9:21PM

    Honestly, my biggest catalyst has been Sparkpeople. I have lost weight before, but when I "failed" myself, I threw in the towel. Sparkpeople has taught me to get back up again, to love myself enough to do this for me (okay, I am still learning this), and, most importantly, that losing a large amount of weight is possible, because other people here have done it and have shared that information with all of us!

You keep rocking it! You will beat those health risks back down!

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BESTSUSIEYET 12/2/2010 8:35PM

    Years ago I saw a sign that said, "resignation or acceptance?". Really hit me ... Will I take bad news and just quit? Or will I choose to accept the challenge and actively choose to make wise choices that may alter the situation? Please don't quit on yourself!

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BESTSUSIEYET 12/2/2010 8:35PM

    Years ago I saw a sign that said, "resignation or acceptance?". Really hit me ... Will I take bad news and just quit? Or will I choose to accept the challenge and actively choose to make wise choices that may alter the situation? Please don't quit on yourself!

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MSHOPPER63 12/2/2010 1:29PM

    emoticon my Sapphire Beauty emoticon

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TERRIJ_1 12/2/2010 12:12PM

    ROCK on girlfriend

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RIGBY31 12/2/2010 11:32AM

    I thought I was just a chubby mid-50ish normal person, until I took a recent pic of myself with my childhood friend (same age and slim), and honestly saw myself as I was... puffy, obese. I couldn't fool myself anymore. Me,myself,I had to do something.

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PARKERB2 12/2/2010 10:27AM

    Thanks for reminding me I drive my own bus and it's good. We have gas for momentum, brakes for when we mess up. lights to keep us out of the darkness, wipers to wipe our tears and windows to see from. Not counting our motors, our hearts which keep us going. Thanks for another good blog. Stay in touch. emoticon

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PROMISE2DESIGN 12/2/2010 9:56AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Oh, man! What a great analogy! Driving our own BUS! I love it! emoticonI wish we had a bus emoticon now! emoticonYour attitude is really going to help you through all of this! emoticon emoticon

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    Hmm, initially it was a health scare for the Mr that finally kicked us into gear in March 2008. When he had another health issue (not weight related) that had him sidelined for 2 months at the end of 2008, I didn't exercise either then we kind of fell back into complacency for 6 months and 15 lbs crept back on for me. I had to put a stop to it because I'd lost 47 lbs and I didn't want to gain it back plus more which would've slapped a 5 as my first number on the scale. That was March 2009 and we haven't missed a scheduled workout since!

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DOMINICKSMOM05 12/2/2010 8:46AM

  I am proud of your attitude... Keep it up! I am here to support you. I was jump started when I realized that most days I was too tired to really play with my son and it was making him sad. BUt you have made the commitment and now you WILL follow through. Cut yourself some breaks- things will happen- trust me I know- but overall if you make good choices and put forth the effort it will pay off!
emoticon emoticon

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SARAWALKS 12/2/2010 8:35AM

    Well, we each have our own wake-up calls -- mine was when I realized that pretty soon I wouldn't have enough breath to sing a good phrase - and I make my living in part by singing. UH. Plus I was disgusted with the way I looked & walking wasn't doing enough to help that, I was just eating more...
A certain level of self-disgust? I think that was my catalyst!
Sounds like you are back on track for sure! Hang in & keep up the good work!

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MEL_UNRAU 12/2/2010 8:26AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
You rock!

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ignorance is bliss (or is it?)

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

I'm not going to lie to you Sparkies. I don't like going to the doc's. In fact, I stopped going last time the doc mentioned WLS and then she conveniently went on Maternity leave, and I didn't go back until this Monday.

Since then I learned:

I have diabetes.
I may have a kidney stone.
I have high blood pressure.
I have gallstones.


(pardon my French)

Would it have been better to learn these tidbits in little dribs and drabs? Would it have been better floating along in my ignorance? It's enough to freak me out, but actually I am glad I know. It gives me serious impetus to shake a leg and make sweeping changes, otherwise I'd be tempted to stay the course of my lose 5, gain 5 program that I seem to have adopted as of late.

Really though, I am quite committed to making changes to save myself. It helps that my BL challenge just kicked off so I can focus more on it, than myself, but here's what I am going to do:

Consult with a nutritionist (making appt tomorrow) sanctioned by my doc - I'm smelling co-pay
(which is delightful!)

I need to take it down a notch. I'm a laid back girl by nature. I should not be sporting high bp.
More work-life balance needed. Working on it.

Weirdly, I had an xray for a kidney stone last night. Um, I was not paying attention and I realized when the nurse called to say I have gallstones, that they xrayed the wrong side. Duh! That highlight was brought to you by your friends from WebMD. :)

So allrighty! I need to go back to doc's for more bloodwork on Monday. The good news is I am alive and kicking. The even better news is I have total control over my response and reaction to this. I am using my good attitude and fortitude to propel me forward. I'm not going to roll over and give up as I have done so many times in the past. I AM PUTTING MYSELF FIRST!

I love all my sparkies! You have all helped me so much in finding my determination to beat these killers back! Everything is going to work out. Deep breaths and good choices will bring me through this!

Live well! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BESTSUSIEYET 12/2/2010 8:31PM

    You need to take care of yourself! Go to the dr, go to the nutritionist, then follow their advice! You are precious, and your health is important! emoticon

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    Sending a great big hug your way! emoticon

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TERRIJ_1 12/2/2010 12:14PM

    Stay strong, you will come out OK

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DEBBIE_J 12/2/2010 10:37AM

    Sorry that you had such a rough diagnosis. Most people would be thoroughly devistated but you have the right attitude and will get through this. Now that you know where the problems lie, you can address them and feel better. emoticon

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AFTERMYKIDS 12/2/2010 9:08AM

    Sorry to hear you had crappy news, but I'm LOVING the attitude. We have to take our lives back. We had a guy at church, he found out he had stomach Cancer. The Dr. pretty much told him he would be LUCKY to see Christmas. About a month ago now he was put in the Hospital, Dr. called in the family and gave up on him, but you know who didn't, GOD had his back. He not only pulled through the night, came off life support, HE IS BACK IN CHURCH. No, his fight is NOT over but that just shows you with YOUR WILL POWER, POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND GOD, anything is possible. YOU got this!! emoticon
Becky emoticon

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MEL_UNRAU 12/2/2010 8:20AM

    Oh GIRL! What a doctor's appt!!! It does seem like the medical world kicked you all at once. The thing is, you are such a bright and shining star in my universe, I know that you can do the things you need to do... like balance your work life to reduce stress and lower your blood pressure.
You are so special. You are wonderful. You deserve to take care of yourself. Take care of yourself, please. I want you to be a shining star in my universe for a long time to come!

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NEORN75 12/2/2010 12:35AM

    emoticonThat's how I felt last time I went to the Dr. I went in fine and came out with 4 prescriptions!

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    Never the best to get disappointing news, but you can get passed all that! And you not only took the step to go to the doctor, something so many of us avoid, but you are already working on a program to lose weight and improve your health. You can do it!

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LINDAINALABAMA 12/1/2010 11:25PM



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RIGBY31 12/1/2010 11:21PM

    Knowledge is power. Dang, you can save your own life! You will get through this, and I agree, the initial shock is totally WTF!

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SARAWALKS 12/1/2010 11:11PM

    emoticon NOT a fun day at the doc's...BUT yes, it's good that these are things you can do something about! And you're already on the way! Great attitude is half the battle and you've got that! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BAYBELIEVER 12/1/2010 10:28PM

    See, it's no wonder we don't go to the doctor! But, now you know and you and we can work on this together! Come on Sapphire Sister, and Spark Friend, you can do this! Let's show that doctor of yours how strong you are!

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SUSANS111 12/1/2010 10:08PM

    Glad to hear you are taking care of yourself!!
Good luck with your BL Challenge.

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    Well, good news or bad news, now the choices are yours to change your life style. I too am a type 2 diabetic with high blood pressure and had gall stones.

My gall bladder is gone, and with the loss of nearly 80 pounds, so are my high blood pressure and my sugar levels are normal.

I am sorry that you had to find out all at once, but bottom line, the ball is in your court and now it is up to you to save your life and limbs. (Gosh I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but at times I believe in tough love.)


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    Not full of emoticon and emoticon was she?

The good news is these are manageable/reversible conditions. This could be your inspiration and think of how much better you will feel when you can kick these conditions to the curb one by one!

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