Wednesday, December 01, 2010
I'm not going to lie to you Sparkies. I don't like going to the doc's. In fact, I stopped going last time the doc mentioned WLS and then she conveniently went on Maternity leave, and I didn't go back until this Monday.
Since then I learned:
I have diabetes.
I may have a kidney stone.
I have high blood pressure.
I have gallstones.
W T F
(pardon my French)
Would it have been better to learn these tidbits in little dribs and drabs? Would it have been better floating along in my ignorance? It's enough to freak me out, but actually I am glad I know. It gives me serious impetus to shake a leg and make sweeping changes, otherwise I'd be tempted to stay the course of my lose 5, gain 5 program that I seem to have adopted as of late.
Really though, I am quite committed to making changes to save myself. It helps that my BL challenge just kicked off so I can focus more on it, than myself, but here's what I am going to do:
Consult with a nutritionist (making appt tomorrow) sanctioned by my doc - I'm smelling co-pay
(which is delightful!)
I need to take it down a notch. I'm a laid back girl by nature. I should not be sporting high bp.
More work-life balance needed. Working on it.
Weirdly, I had an xray for a kidney stone last night. Um, I was not paying attention and I realized when the nurse called to say I have gallstones, that they xrayed the wrong side. Duh! That highlight was brought to you by your friends from WebMD. :)
So allrighty! I need to go back to doc's for more bloodwork on Monday. The good news is I am alive and kicking. The even better news is I have total control over my response and reaction to this. I am using my good attitude and fortitude to propel me forward. I'm not going to roll over and give up as I have done so many times in the past. I AM PUTTING MYSELF FIRST!
I love all my sparkies! You have all helped me so much in finding my determination to beat these killers back! Everything is going to work out. Deep breaths and good choices will bring me through this!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Last week I was talking to my body - and now, my body is talking to me.
I wasn't up long yesterday when I started to feel something between a pinch and a side stitch, and nauseous. I finally broke down and made a doc's appt. I had last been at the doc's a year and a half ago. How's that for ignoring your health?
I think it was my Dad's recent heart attack that pushed me to think about returning to the doc's. Then the onset of the pain. I am glad I went. Apparently, I also have high blood pressure, and possibly a kidney stone. I have to go get an xray later today. Bloodwork done last night.
I cancelled our gym memberships last night. I have not been there in about a month, and the hubby in about 2 years. Since we moved, it is more of a hassle to get there, and it seemed to put more pressure on us, than not. We're joining in the exercise video route together. Us doing the work together will make a big difference to both of us, I think.
I am looking forward to the lifeline of the BL competition (Sapphires) to get re-motivated and kick started. I am tired of losing the same ol' 10 pounds, and then putting it back on...repeatedly.
Hoping everyone has a happy and HEALTHy day!!! Let's get healthy, sparkies!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
A few years ago, I was in the hospital and they finally said I could leave,after they got the IV out of my arm. Weirdly, something had kind of seized up and they had a really hard time removing it.
I really wanted to go home.
At one point, the nurse looked at me, and asked me if I was talking to my body.
I was impressed she noticed. I was impressed that it was having an effect.
I wasn't talking about loud. I was quietly just focusing and releasing it mentally. I was visualizing the IV slipping out.
It did not happen immediately, but it did happen.
I am going to cultivate this same feeling and use it to my benefit again. I am reading a book, "Body Redesign" by Annette Colby. She is a Tx. based therapist who I talked to once long ago. She really helped me out of a funk. Got to dig those dial-in therapists. :)
So, thanks body for cushioning me all this time. You really saved my butt (or really my face) last week when I took a header near the pavement. I am going to work with you (instead of against you). I hope you're enjoying that you are being fed in a healthier way and moving around more. You've been a good friend to me. Thank you!
What has your body done for you, sparkies?
Have a great day!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
There's something to be said for challenging moments. They can help you make the best of a situation, and then find the silver lining. Wearing that attitude of gratitude makes everyone around you feel a little better too.
There was an article in yesterday's paper about the high salaries of some of the admins. Some of them are pretty shocking. It made me re-focus on that I do not love my job because of the $. Sure, more $ would be nice, but it's never been my focus on why I do a good job. My heart is in the job for the kids, and the difference I can make on even this remote level. I see myself as making a difference every day. This is so much more fulfilling than the last 2 jobs I've had - even though I loved them both at the time.
With all the crazy family stress,(parents' health at the heart of it), while handling a very busy work time and job overload, I have had the opportunity to step out (literally) and away from my desk every day. That walk clears my head --- even if that walk is on the way to another meeting.
I am holding myself to a higher standard now. I realize I WANT MORE FROM MY LIFE. Not just looking better physically, or feeling connected, but the realization that I have so much more to offer the world and I have been sitting on the sidelines too long.
I was in a meeting yesterday with my boss, and someone who reports to me, and two other people. We would have normally been at odds to some degree. As the meeting went on, I was totally relaxed (perhaps too relaxed) but I just stopped being an adversarial, and moved to a very relaxed (read silly) state. We gave the person a lot of ideas and frankly, she was shocked about how friendly and helpful we were. For the woman who reports to me, it was a dream come true for her because she has been hoping with every fiber of her being to be involved with a project like this, and it was fun to see her come alive. Everyone needs a flame like that that really ignites your passion.
What ignites my passion? I don't know yet. I've been neglecting my inner self so long, I don't even know. I'll work on that. It only takes a spark!
My plan for today is simple:
1) Handle critical list, but anything that can wait, should wait
The walk is a given. I have a meeting across campus that is about a 15-20 min walk each way. My meeting is with a big cheese. It should be an interesting appt. I suspect that we will delve into other topics there, and that is where things could be interesting.
I bought resistance bands last night. I am going to work on incorporating them into a morning and evening routine. I want to help myself along and I think do a little bit more each day will help me get there. When I go all out, I usually end up fizzling in short order.
I hope everyone is doing great in Sparkland. Have you found any untapped passions that you have ignited? Or want to ignite?
I think we can all be so much more. Let's stop selling ourselves short!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I've just about been logging in and not much else these past few days on SP. I hope to be back to "normal" in that regard later this week.
My Dad had a mild heart attack on Sunday. He didn't know it. He had an angiogram done yesterday and is getting sprung today. The blockages he has can be cleared by medication. trick point: he is really BAD at taking medication! This will take some doing!
On Saturday, I tried selling my jewelry for the first time in person. I went to a local flea mkt and sold a couple of pairs of earrings. The place was dead. A recent construction project cut off the main access so you had to be really determined to find it, and frankly most people were not that determined! ha! I did walk home (about a mile from there - while carting my loot) and I tripped and fell FACE PLANT! in the grass. I had a head and shoulder ache form it for about a day, but I was none the worse for wear. When I got up off the ground, I thanked my fat for cushioning my blow and that I did not break anything, It felt like a hard hit. No bruises either. Woot!
Hubby is back on 3am start time shifts, so we have not been seeing each other much, if at all. This will eventually return to normal and as long as he can handle it, we will dig the overtime. It is not easy living paycheck to paycheck. I need to get it together! Back to budgets and coupons I go!
I am super busy at work. I would not have expected this and actually I should be on a floating part now, but so many shows are going on and everyone seems to want some help with tickets. What up with that? It's good to have job security I guess. :)
Last week rolling into this week has not been the most positive. I've kept my chin up, my body moving, and my food aok. I dropped one of the lbs. I had re-gained and I was happy to be going in the right direction.
I'll be doing the Great Winter Meltdown Challenge with my cool BL Sapphire crowd again. Weigh-in is in 2 wks. I would love to start it at 385. I can do this!
I hope everyone is doing great. HAPPY SPARKING, sparkies!
I've been missing all of my buddies!!!
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