Wednesday, September 01, 2010
When I was a kid, my mother wouldn't let me have an ice cream soda, and I was mad and stomped out of the house. I pushed the door hard in anger, only my hand slipped off the metal and went right through the glass. Forty years later, I still remember the shape of the jagged edge of the glass that gouged out a little piece of my chest. Five stitches is a pretty big deal to a six year old. :)
So many times in the past I have equated treating myself well with allowing myself to do whatever I wanted, no matter what the consequences were. I have done that all of my life.
Here I am today, recognizing that treating yourself well is not about having an attitude that you can do or have anything. It is about having pride in yourself and being willing to do whatever it takes to get there.
I lost a bit on Spark when I arrived and then steadily gained. Now, FINALLY, I am on the losing trail again.
To keep that momentum going, I have to be SMART.
M (Manage my food and exercise)
I am not going to have an obstacle free road. I have been down this road before and remember what I have to do. Ok, I can do those things. I need to stay focused and on track.
I'm doing the BL challenge with Team Sapphire and it's helping me keep it together. Staying focused, staying strong!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Acceptance is my body is not perfect, and it is up to me to change it.
Giving up is feeling what is the use.
Acceptance is trying harder.
Giving up is an easy way out to think you don't matter.
Acceptance is knowing how things are now, and still being willing to change it.
Giving up is throwing in the towel and forgetting that you matter enough to make a difference.
Acceptance of where I am right now helps propel me forward.
Giving up is not an option.
I went on vacay and had good intentions that were not executed. I went to the land of Pennsylvania Dutch food. Those people love to eat. I could have made many better choices. I spent far too much time in the car. I had many opportunities where I could have used the car trips to get out and walked or did push ups when we stopped, but I didn't. I gave up before we got started.
The power is in my hands today. Simply put, it is up to me to change, and this is the acceptance that I know that counts the most. I will not give up.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Watched a sitcom last night and the therapist said --- "Are you going to keep stuffing down your negative feelings with food?"
I have a lifetime of unresolved negative feelings.
I have been a champion at keeping score. In the thoughts of two wrongs don't make a right ---I have compared myself to others on many occasions. As much as I know in my heart, it is still even hard now to stop myself from doing it.
I know it is not just human nature, but my human nature, and in all the years that I did not count myself as worthy, or see myself as not measuring up to the next person, or holding my breath waiting for the next shoe to drop, it has been me...waiting.
Well, now is the time I CHOOSE to turn those feelings around.
In my family, this would have been called bragging, but again, that has to be a thought process that gets changed.
IT IS OK TO BE GREAT.
IT IS OK TO APPRECIATE YOURSELF.
IT IS OK TO ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE LOVED.
IT IS OK TO REALIZE YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON.
IT IS OK TO BE HAPPY WITH WHO YOU ARE.
IT IS OK TO CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE AND GIFTS.
IT IS OK TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
IT IS OK TO THANK GOD FOR EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE.
IT IS OK TO HAVE FLAWS; NOBODY IS PERFECT.
IT IS OK TO WANT MORE AND MAKE MORE OF YOURSELF.
IT IS OK TO BRAG.
That being said, I will say this: I love myself, flaws and all.
I want more from my life because I don't want to be afraid of falling and injuring myself. I can appreciate someone else's success without it being a ding on me. I can move forward one or two steps at a time to make a big difference. I'm not going to wake up and be Christie Brinkley (or insert othersupermodel here). That's ok. I just want to wake up and be a better me.
Here's wishing you a happy sparkly day!
WE CAN DO IT!
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