MICKEYMAX   46,652
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Lost and Found

Monday, July 12, 2010

It was hiding for a while. I'm not sure if it was under a rock, or perhaps in one of the cabinets way back under the sink, but it doesn't matter any more. I found it: my passion for life.

I was caught up in one dimensional thinking, letting every last ounce of my spirit focus on losing weight and not getting anywhere. I totally lost track of why I was doing anything, let alone trying to fight a battle of not losing and just repeating the same scenarios that got me off track in the first place.

Giant lightbulb moment this Saturday. I took a good long look at my inner self (although oddly, I was standing in front of a mirror) and realized I had just misplaced my spark, my zest, my passion and that is what i am truly made of. (not just splenda and spice, and everything nice.)

I'm committed. I'm engaged. I'm focused. I am on track. I couldn't believe how quickly it all seemed to turn around. It was like "Ding! I get it now!" I stepped out in faith and left the fear behind.

I went to the gym yesterday in the middle of the day (in shorts.) I have been paranoid about wearing shorts in public for so long. It wasn't the first day I have worn them, but it is getting easier and easier. I have a foot long scar on my lower leg from cellulitis that never went away. It looks gross, and I hate it, but it is also a sign of where I have been and how God pulled me through it, so I don't despise it. It actually improves when I walk more, so that is also incentive when I have my game face on.

Got to the gym and the woman behind the counter commented that I was determined now. Yes, I am! I rode the bike and then on to the treadmill. I have not walked on a treadmill in ages. It was good to be back. :)

Had a great weekend with my hubby. It was good to be off work, and still active. He used his r & r time to take the Harley for a spin, while I went and worked out. It made me think it was a perfect day. :)

I'm going for a walk today (now, in fact), and then off to the gym in the a.m.

Hope you are all have a really great day! Spark on, sparkies!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MUGGLE_MOM 7/12/2010 5:13PM

    Wow! What a great blog! I am so glad that you found your spark again! You deserve only the very best!!!

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RAINBOWFALLS 7/12/2010 12:57PM

    It is good you got your Aha moment and are back in the game. Good for you.

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POOKAQUEEN 7/12/2010 12:36PM

    emoticon emoticon

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BAYBELIEVER 7/12/2010 12:30PM

    What a great attitude! You are off! Just keep moving and eating intentionally and it all will come together, right? Way to take a moment to let it all click!

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DATARN 7/12/2010 12:27PM

    You go girl!! Week off to a great start!

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LOOZINITNOW 7/12/2010 12:13PM

    I love the sound of that upbeat spirit! You are awesome!

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Case of the sickies

Thursday, July 08, 2010

Feeling much better now --- but no gym and little movement for me today. I hope to be back to "normal" tomorrow. I was totally punked out this a.m. and even stayed home from work and a meeting. This too shall pass. Hope everyone is staying cool!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOKNOWS 7/9/2010 9:43AM

    So emoticon you weren't feeling well. Hope all is better now. emoticonLooking forward to another one of your spunky, witty, thought-provoking blogs! emoticon

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RAINBOWFALLS 7/9/2010 8:28AM

    I'm hoping for a cool down today with a storm a brewing. I hope you feel better.

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MUGGLE_MOM 7/9/2010 6:38AM

    I hope that you feel better soon!!!
Take care of yourself!

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DJS-DEBBIE 7/9/2010 5:58AM

    Hope you are feeling better today!

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1STARVINGARTIST 7/9/2010 12:03AM

    Sorry you're sick. You are right, it will pass, but in the meantime its no fun! Get well soon!

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SHAKENMA 7/8/2010 10:36PM

    Hope you feel better soon. No fun being sick. emoticon

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118 Days and 17 Minutes

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Alarm went off at 4:50am. I squished my head into the pillow. I really wanted that sleep, but there was a good possibility I would lay there and not be able to sleep anyway. I rolled half way over and prayed, "Jesus, let me get up and go, but I can't do it without your strength. "

I pushed myself out of bed and got rolling. I had most things gathered which made it easier to go this a.m. When I got to the gym, the lady behind the desk predictably said, "118 days" - I am not sure if she thinks it's funny or encouraging or perhaps both (or neither). She added, "well it's better than 200 days..." yeah I know. I had not been there in 118 days. I have not been completely off track in 118 days. I have walked some days, and had some great success. One of the keys for me, though, is working on making this a consistent routine. This will be one of my next big goals.

I felt good on the bike. Like my friend, K, the other day, I was taking a peek in the mirror and thinking, "Was is that? Why it's my leg. I was not disgusted as I might have been in the past, but happy to see it going around and around and helping to pump the blood up through my veins and keeping things moving inside. I set the bike for 30 mins so I could do a countdown and before long, I was bebopping along. 13 mins to go, I realize started to feel the happy buzz. It took me 17 mins to reach the zone, but once I was there, I was smiling, inside and out.

When I was clearing off the table last night, (one of my earlier goals), I was thinking that I was not one of those people who found a partner, and then let herself go out of laziness. Actually, I stopped letting my opinion count, and decided to do whatever was easier for him without taking my own needs into the equation. Through SP, I can see it is so important for me to remember that I count just as much, and if I don't look after me, who the heck is going to do it? It's time for me to stand up and be counted.

I came home from the gym, made breakfast (eggs + oatmeal) and ate it. I gathered lunch and basically bolted out the door. I am still tired, but at the same time feeling energized. This morning's ride gave me hope. I have not really had that in a while. It's good to be back. :) Spark on, sparkies.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GROOVYCHICK9 7/8/2010 5:34PM

    I am proud of you. It usually takes me about 10-15 minutes before I start to feel into my workout. I hate the first part of it but I know that if I keep going I will be ok. You go girl and start a new gym streak.


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BAYBELIEVER 7/7/2010 4:24PM

    Way to get up and at 'em! Keep heading in the right direction.

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MUGGLE_MOM 7/7/2010 12:55PM

    Wow. What a great blog!

I had no doubt that you were going to make it this morning. Huge huge kudos for getting up and out. Super job hitting that bike for 30 minutes. You were absolutely not completely off program during your gym hiatus. Sometimes, we have to work the pieces of the program before it can all fall in line. You were walking. Working on your food. Getting more movement in. I think the girl at the gym is trying to be encouraging. They know you there. They get excited to see you and want to make you come back. You're their early morning sunshine!

Are you going back tomorrow? Let me know and I'll check up on you!

And of course, yes, we need to learn that our needs are just as important as the next guy or in our cases, or significant others. Its tough to put our needs up there on the list, but, ultimately, I think you're right. That may be the ticket to freedom. Believing we deserve it and believing that we deserve the effort it takes to get there. We are important and our choices count, even when faced with opposing opinions from others.

You are totally rockin' it Girlfriend! I am mucho impressed!

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DONNAEDA 7/7/2010 12:53PM

    congratulations on getting back to the gym. You will feel better and in the long run the 118 days won't matter. Its what you do in the future that counts, not what do didn't do in the past. A New start and new beginning.

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POOKAQUEEN 7/7/2010 12:06PM

    emoticon Good job! You're on a roll now!

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MEL_UNRAU 7/7/2010 10:58AM

    WTG my friend!!! WAY TO GO!!! If it took 17 minutes for the buzz to hit, that means, you were buzzing for at least 13 minutes!!! You are rocking!!!

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VALERIEP58 7/7/2010 10:26AM

    118 days-and she really counted! Oh my, I wonder what my gym will say if I ever get back? Anyway-good for you and glad to hear you enjoyed your work-out!

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BOOKLVER81 7/7/2010 10:14AM

    way to go!

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RAINBOWFALLS 7/7/2010 8:33AM

    Super job! Keep it up and make that 118 into days that you streak! Wouldn't that be nice.

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LAURA9021 7/7/2010 8:28AM

  emoticon emoticon

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JOKNOWS 7/7/2010 8:27AM

    emoticonCongrats on getting up, getting energized, getting some motivation and moving towards your desired goals. emoticon
emoticonto staying motivated and looking after you.

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NUTRON3 7/7/2010 8:20AM

    Hope you have a wonderful day!

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Cleared the table,now just need to clear my mind

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Table cleared.. emoticon

Water bottles filled and put in fridge for morning. emoticon

Gym lock located. emoticon

Ipod charging emoticon

Now, just need to:

Pull gym clothes together
Find headphones
and GET MY BUTT TO THE GYM in the morning

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAINBOWFALLS 7/7/2010 8:04AM

    Great job accomplishing your goal and adding a few more by the looks of it!

I know you can, I know you can, I know you can! emoticon

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POOKAQUEEN 7/7/2010 5:21AM

    Woohoo! Good job girl! You can do it!

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MUGGLE_MOM 7/6/2010 11:34PM

    I know you can.
I know you can.
I know you can!!!!!

I can't wait to read about your success tomorrow!!!!

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DIFROMWYOMING 7/6/2010 10:59PM

    You CAN! emoticon

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LOOZINITNOW 7/6/2010 10:45PM

    I know you can, I know you can. I know you can!!!!

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It All Starts Somewhere

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

I don't think I'll have any trouble sucking down water today. Geez, it is hot and steamy today. I decided that I am going to try to leave my office when I want to eat. I did bring my lunch as I most often do, but I always eat at my desk. I get into a habit of not leaving the office. I'm also working solo these days, so with my staff away for the summer, and my boss on vacay, I am looking at the same 4 walls without any change in scenery.

I think eating away from my desk will also make me less of a grazer and more of an eater with regimented times. I would like to stop being a closet eater. It will help me to become less lazy in my habits. It all starts somewhere, and this is my starting point. When I get home from work, I am going to clear off the table to make it a place where I can sit down and eat. I sit on the couch and watch tv now.
The table (and the couch) have become a catch all for all kinds of paper, (mail, newspapers, catalogs, magazines). It would be nice if they could fall back into their intended purposes.

I am not going to overburden myself with loads of stuff to do. Right now, I am simply going to focus on clearing off that table. I have a horrible tendency to load up a list of all the things I need to do (as if I need to do them this very minute) and then get so overwhelmed, I move myself into paralysis and do nothing, and feel very defeated. So today, it's is the table. Everything else can wait until another day.

OK, I am happy with my little plan of action. I'll report back tomorrow as far as the table goes, and eating out of the office.

I hope everyone had a super 4th of July weekend. My heart goes out to all those serving overseas and their families. Thank you for my freedom.

Have a blessed day,
Spark on, sparkies. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RIPPEDPAUL1 7/8/2010 6:56AM

    I think you're on the right track. Eating away from your desk will allow you to become more aware of your eating and I found I work better with a break even a short one

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RAINBOWFALLS 7/6/2010 12:52PM

    Great plan with the table. It will be good for your eating to be at the table. All the articles I read say to not do other things well eating, just enjoy the food.

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DJS-DEBBIE 7/6/2010 11:43AM

    Getting away from the desk is a great idea. I am going to start doing that myself as soon as I get back to the office. Got to take a little time to 'smell the roses' every day.

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ADIPOSEROSE 7/6/2010 11:23AM

    You go, girl!

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POOKAQUEEN 7/6/2010 11:09AM

    Fantastic plan! Great job!
emoticon emoticon

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    I'll see how your plan works! I was also an office eater (grazer) and have worked hard to overcome that. I just try different things and see how they work and then adjust. Good luck!

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MUGGLE_MOM 7/6/2010 8:37AM

    I love the eating out of the office idea. Great move!

Great luck on the table. I now keeping things neat and tidy is very tough for me too. I can't wait to hear about your next success!!!!!

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MEL_UNRAU 7/6/2010 8:12AM

    Oh yes! Good plan. I think getting out of your office to eat would be a welcome thing! Especially since you are all alone right now. I'd have a really hard time with that!

And eating at the table! I decided that we would just start eating at the table more... and it has totally changed our family. I did it because my tot is easily distracted and the TV was keeping him from eating... but am keeping with it because, among other things, it makes my life easier! Less dishes to haul around--

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PATTYKLAVER 7/6/2010 8:11AM

    You sound like you know what you need to do. That's great.

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