Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Alarm went off at 4:50am. I squished my head into the pillow. I really wanted that sleep, but there was a good possibility I would lay there and not be able to sleep anyway. I rolled half way over and prayed, "Jesus, let me get up and go, but I can't do it without your strength. "
I pushed myself out of bed and got rolling. I had most things gathered which made it easier to go this a.m. When I got to the gym, the lady behind the desk predictably said, "118 days" - I am not sure if she thinks it's funny or encouraging or perhaps both (or neither). She added, "well it's better than 200 days..." yeah I know. I had not been there in 118 days. I have not been completely off track in 118 days. I have walked some days, and had some great success. One of the keys for me, though, is working on making this a consistent routine. This will be one of my next big goals.
I felt good on the bike. Like my friend, K, the other day, I was taking a peek in the mirror and thinking, "Was is that? Why it's my leg. I was not disgusted as I might have been in the past, but happy to see it going around and around and helping to pump the blood up through my veins and keeping things moving inside. I set the bike for 30 mins so I could do a countdown and before long, I was bebopping along. 13 mins to go, I realize started to feel the happy buzz. It took me 17 mins to reach the zone, but once I was there, I was smiling, inside and out.
When I was clearing off the table last night, (one of my earlier goals), I was thinking that I was not one of those people who found a partner, and then let herself go out of laziness. Actually, I stopped letting my opinion count, and decided to do whatever was easier for him without taking my own needs into the equation. Through SP, I can see it is so important for me to remember that I count just as much, and if I don't look after me, who the heck is going to do it? It's time for me to stand up and be counted.
I came home from the gym, made breakfast (eggs + oatmeal) and ate it. I gathered lunch and basically bolted out the door. I am still tired, but at the same time feeling energized. This morning's ride gave me hope. I have not really had that in a while. It's good to be back. :) Spark on, sparkies.
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
I don't think I'll have any trouble sucking down water today. Geez, it is hot and steamy today. I decided that I am going to try to leave my office when I want to eat. I did bring my lunch as I most often do, but I always eat at my desk. I get into a habit of not leaving the office. I'm also working solo these days, so with my staff away for the summer, and my boss on vacay, I am looking at the same 4 walls without any change in scenery.
I think eating away from my desk will also make me less of a grazer and more of an eater with regimented times. I would like to stop being a closet eater. It will help me to become less lazy in my habits. It all starts somewhere, and this is my starting point. When I get home from work, I am going to clear off the table to make it a place where I can sit down and eat. I sit on the couch and watch tv now.
The table (and the couch) have become a catch all for all kinds of paper, (mail, newspapers, catalogs, magazines). It would be nice if they could fall back into their intended purposes.
I am not going to overburden myself with loads of stuff to do. Right now, I am simply going to focus on clearing off that table. I have a horrible tendency to load up a list of all the things I need to do (as if I need to do them this very minute) and then get so overwhelmed, I move myself into paralysis and do nothing, and feel very defeated. So today, it's is the table. Everything else can wait until another day.
OK, I am happy with my little plan of action. I'll report back tomorrow as far as the table goes, and eating out of the office.
I hope everyone had a super 4th of July weekend. My heart goes out to all those serving overseas and their families. Thank you for my freedom.
Have a blessed day,
Spark on, sparkies. :)
Friday, July 02, 2010
Sometimes, I am all for censorship. Not the kind where you're burning books because you disagree with the doctrine, but the kind where the description is superfluous to the story. Last night I was working and a patron told one of my staff that "the big woman" sent me down here. (In this story, I am the "big woman.") If the shoe was on the other foot, and the patron had been talking to me about my colleague, and I was the one sharing the story, I would have NEVER said the "old woman, or the short and hairy woman...." Well, you get the picture.
p.s. to the story, "the big woman" did NOT send her down there, but again...it's not part of this tale.
I physically winced when I heard "the big woman." Who wants to be the big woman? Maybe next year, I'll get to hear that medium-sized woman. :) In any case, I thought it was unnecessary for her to have said it, and it does surprise me given how well we get along. Oof. Well, I need to let it roll off my back. Sometimes this person does not think before they speak. I am a frequent violator of that myself, so I should be more understanding, I s'pose.
I had a very successful day yesterday. Stayed within my calories and did lots of walking. I was dead man walking on my feet when I got home. The concrete floors I spent the last 3 hrs of my day/night really put a hurting on my feet. I was so glad to get home and crawl into bed. I am really hoping to sleep in a bit tomorrow. Also won $100 on a lottery tix yesterday. That was super cool!
Happy Friday! Happy 4th Weekend! Spark on, Sparkies....
Thursday, July 01, 2010
One of my very best attributes is that I rarely give up on people. OK, sometimes this does not always work out the way I plan, but on a day like today, when a kid I have nurtured and mentored and tried really hard to help, shows me that he is living up to my hopes, it makes it all worthwhile.
It is remarkable how great I feel about this kid handling himself in this way. Woo hoo. It makes me appreciate myself and the job that I am doing. I have been a lifeline for this kid, and it's working out. Woot! Woot!
I will also cross my 10,000 steps today. That is exciting too. :)
I have not had time to dwell nor allowed myself the luxury of sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I have no reason to do this anyway. My life is really good and filled with MUCHO blessings. I just needed a day to take stock of all the things I have going for me, which are many.
p.s. I stopped back to edit this when I saw that one of my tenses were off. :)
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