Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Sat in an hour's worth of traffic today, on top of my normal commute, thanks to a disabled truck. It was good for me. I have been rushing around like a zombie lately. Not having time to stop and smell the roses. It's going to be a scorcher later, but now, it was a beautiful sunny morning. It was a crawl for 10 miles that usually takes 20 mins, but took 60. On the next leg, I came acorss a cop car pulled to the side of the road. Not sure what he was inspecting, stickers, seat belts, or cell phones, maybe all of the above. He did not look too much in the mood for smiling though, even though I did.
My commute was not without eruption. I have a short temper and a Jersey attitude. You know what I am talking about. I was in the last 10 mins, when I blew a fuse, but reined it back in pretty quickly. Still, it was a slow start of an otherwise successful morning.
Did my morning routine, and still had time to make/eat breakfast and complete some jewelry.
I need to put a little fire under my butt to get rolling today. I have a long to do list on my desk, and a looming deadline. So much for smelling the roses. Maybe on my way in tomorrow. :)
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
... my own positive role model.
... walking for the fun of it.
...stepping out of my comfort zone.
...handling social situations confidently.
...dressing like I care what I look like.
...enjoying the person I am becoming.
...tracking my food, and drinking my water.
...living with purpose.
...not afraid to make mistakes.
...happy to be here.
...grateful for my life.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
My M.O. at night (a danger eating zone), has lately been - watch a little tv, and go read, make jewelry or go on the computer. Directions to self: do not sit in the living room and veg. What did I do last night? You got it, sat in the room and vegged. Unfortunately, vegging does not equal eating veggies. I had a snack attack and overindulged in carbs. I was up .8 lbs this a.m. --- i need to stay in strict adherence to make a good difference, and I have been doing it.
I am so proud of myself for making my U-turn now, a day later rather than months later, which I have also done before. Life is a learning curve, and now that I am fully engaged, I am throwing myself my own lifeline, instead of throwing in the towel. I am making wondrous progress, and I like the me I see emerging.
I got my hair cut --- more like chopped -- last night. I don't remember when I had it this short - maybe 8th grade. I love it. it is short and flippy. I look much more put together. I am coming into my own again. I love me, and finally, finally, finally, it is starting to show.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Thought the building hours would be changing today, so I thought I would have to climb the "monster hill" instead of entering on the lower level and grabbing the elevator. Only the upper door is keyed and getting there requires walking up the big hill. I started halfway to the door and realized that it was up to me to meet the monster this morning. Up I climbed. Step by step. I was carrying 3 bags. Whew! I made it. Some days I used to park it outside on the short wall, pretending I wanted to enjoy nature before I went inside to my office. I used to use that time to catch my breath. I would suck wind, big time. Much to my surprise, this morning, not so much. It was not a little breeze, getting up the hill, but I did not sound like a wheezing train. I've lost 12 pounds since I started sparking (the bulk of it in the last week), and I actually felt good this morning.
There is actually light at the end of the tunnel, and I am getting closer and closer. I've lost that overwhelming feeling that my life is out of control and I am helpless to stop the spiral. Instead, I feel in step with the universe, and my life is fine as it is, and so am I. My reasons for losing are become more centralized and centered around me. I just want to feel good, look good and do the things I want to do. What could be better than that?!!!!
Building hours change in a week. Still, I am going to pretend they are switched now, so I can meet my monster again in the morning.
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