Sunday, May 23, 2010
Seat belt tightening that is. It has been a long while since i had to re-cinch my belt so that it was tighter on top. My normal m.o. is for it to be very snug around my belly. What a great place to notice a difference. I am loving it.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
I'm down to a weight that I think is lower than I have been in the last 4 years. Wow! That feels great. It could be in my head, but that mere statement makes me feel lighter and make me more easily able to move around. It could very well be water weight that I am losing and I am totally okay with that. Right now, weight is weight, and to see the numbers dropping is exciting.
We went to a restaurant last night and I had a few successes. I brought my own sweetener (Truvia) with me. I ordered compliant food off the menu. I had a baked potato which would be 2/3 of my carb servings for the day, but I had the room for it, and I relished eating it. It was so good. Did I just say that about a baked potato? ha ha ha. I ate food that went with my plan from the salad bar. Again, I enjoyed every bit and cleaned my plate, but I did not overstuff myself. I brought half of my entrée home. WOO HOO! I could not even think about eating the other half there.
Another thing I am noticing about myself is I am becoming less critical again. I think it's because I am losing my fear of what other people are thinking and worrying about what they are "saying" about me. I am becoming more confident and seeing value in myself and losing the shame that makes me want to hide. I have gone on a jewelry making spree (yes, Karen, I will send you some when I finish the pieces), and I notice a new flair in the work that brings attention. Ha! I love it and I am loving myself. What could be better.
Friday, May 21, 2010
I have a special place in my heart for Fridays. Even on the occasional time when I have to work on a weekend, I still feel more light-hearted. This morning was no different. I did not want to wrench myself from my bed, but when I did, I was gleeful and silly. I am consciously embracing this mood.
My 25 mile commute (one-way) can be a little rough some days. A car tried to cut into my lane to cut behind me to cut around the guy to my left (and eventually swoop in front of me) just before my exit, and I didn't let it happen. I sped up a bit so the tiny amount of space between us disappeared and then just took my exit. That's when I caught onto her plan to dodge in front of me, 20 seconds before "our" exit. I didn't go all Jersey on her. I didn't wave or gesture, I just kept driving, and smiling. Content in my little world, where I get to work in one piece, but stand up for myself and try not to get run over. Sheesh!
There was a mystery unraveling to me yesterday. One of my work friends is leaving. She has no choice in the matter. From my outsider point of view, it all looks very abrupt and makes you wonder how that could happen. Then it's easier to start second guessing yourself when you start to examine things. Both of us have been on the receiving end of very positive notes at work (in the same note), so my head started spinning. It wasn't until yesterday that I found out, for as many good letters in her case, there were twice as many bad. I'm still sad for my friend, and I have tried to help her focus on getting a job elsewhere, but she is in a bit of denial.
That episode kicked off a series of "Deep thoughts by Jack Handy" in my head. I thought about the many times I put myself down in the past because I thought that I did not measure up. This was in the shower this a.m. I completely reversed some of the assumptions I have long believed, and flipped those what ifs from "what about if I wasn't good enough" to "what if they loved me so much" and what about if they felt they weren't good enough. It blows my mind that after 20-30 years, I am re-thinking everything I thought about myself and coming out of it on the winning end. Whoa.
I am feeling really good about myself right now, and I intend to keep riding the wave. Happy Friday! Woo hoo!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
I opened my lunch bag for a mid morning snack. (Yes, to me it is mid morning.)
I saw a round brown thing that looked remarkably like a cookie. The thought passed through my head, "Is that a cookie?" (I'd like to add that I packed my own lunch bag) --- and then I realized that no, it was the other half of my sandwich thin, that I did not eat with breakfast.
HA HA HA
It was like of those little hallucinatory mirages from the desert.
It's always good to start the day off with a laugh, even if you are just laughing at yourself.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
I have stuck to my eating plan for 3 days. I am patting myself on the back because it has not been easy. I am doing it, though. I would often eat good foods, just way too much of it. So now, I am doing BFC. I have lost 5 lbs from my last weigh in. WHOA! I am stoked right now. Downward movement on the scale? SWEETNESS!!!! My next goal is the next zero down.
I came home from work and DH had made a pasta dish. I had one small serving, and I was satisfied. I checked all of the food labels to know exactly what to count, and eating it was within my guidelines. I ENJOYED EVERY BITE! I did not race through it. I savored the spiciness.
I just feeling like singing, "Doo Dah, Doo Dah...Oh Doo Dah Day..." It's been so long since I had a loss (read it's been so long since i put forth an effort)...it just feels good to be on the losing end, especially after a stressful week at work.
SUPER COOL. It gives me huge momentum to keep going now that I know it is all working. WOO HOO!!!!!! GO ME!
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