Friday, December 06, 2013
It's rainy, I'm tired, I wiped out from work. I have a gym apt but I would rather go home and veg out. Do it anyway.
It feels too hard. I can't climb up on that piece of equipment, people will look at me funny. Do it anyway.
It's hard. Do it anyway.
I'm weak. I'm afraid. Do it anyway.
Each time you step up and take your best shot, your muscle memory for belief in yourself grows. Each time you do it anyway, even when you don't want to, you make a good choice that is going to pay off down the road.
Each positive step will build more momentum and help to cultivate a feeling of accomplishment that you want to repeat again and again. Once you start feeling good, there will be no turning back. Forward march and do it anyway!
Thursday, December 05, 2013
You know that adage or perhaps wives' tale that if you have had a bit too much to drink, you should drink a bit more of "hair of the dog that bit you" the next day to right yourself?
Well, it got me thinking today as the day wore on, I felt good, but not great. I was still feeling sore from the previous 2 days' workouts (and possibly face plant), but I felt something else too. I felt like working out would make me feel better.
Where the heck did that thought come from? I don't know, but I am realizing that few things make me feel as happy and healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally as moving around. It brings out my can-do spirit.
Today was a scheduled "day off" from the gym today. I came home from work at a decent hour, hung out with the hubby for a bit, ate something, and convinced myself the only thing that is good for what ails me is going to the gym. So that is what I did. I got on the bike and rode for two 10-minute segments. I'm also giving myself extra credit for the fact that it started raining after I got home and it was kind of foggy.
I am starting to get addicted to feeling good. I felt like crap for so long that I did not even think there was a way out. I have really started to believe in myself again on many fronts. It's kind of interesting how when I am making better choices just for me, I want to keep going and doing more. This feeling didn't happen overnight and it took more than a little spark to ignite to get me going. It took tons of encouragement, a big dose of listening, and a mighty big push to move me along. But now it's taken hold, my training wheels are coming off, and I am just going to keep going.
That is how I am going to show what I am really made of.
Wednesday, December 04, 2013
Today began as an absolutely incredible day. Sure, I was pretty much waddling around from my vigorous workout on Tuesday, but it was a good hurt if you know what I mean. Minus the waddling, I felt good mentally and emotionally. My eating was in check all day and I drank a boatload of water.
I went through some minor irritations at work, including dealing with a staff member who should have finished a project in under 20 minutes, but rolled into a 3 hour fiasco. Once he finished, I saw that despite previous conversations about this very same issue, he completed the project incorrectly, so I deleted his work and made him do it over again. No idea how long that took.
Working out though has given me a better platform to manage my stress. I find even driving my 30 mile (one-way) commute to be less bothersome lately. I am slowing down a bit and working through the negativity. I feel I am in a better mood all around, and can handle whatever comes my way.
Thankfully, I have cultivated this new attitude because tonight at the gym I experienced a minor mortification. I lost my balance while trying to retrieve a ball off the floor, and took a nosedive. That's right, face plant right onto the floor. There was nothing dainty about how I was able to roll over, crawl to a box and eventually push myself into a standing position. I'd be lying if I said I did not have a meltdown (on the inside.) I had many thoughts and emotions running rampant through my head: who is going to see me, how the heck am I going to get up off the floor, and certainly thought of screaming a few choice words that spark frowns upon.
Happily, my trainers (H and K) were with me so I wasn't going it alone. I had to take a breather, mentally problem solve how I was going to tackle it and just do it. And I did. It wasn't pretty, but I got up on my own power, and that was good.
What did I learn tonight?
A) I still need to work more on my balance issues (but I am making progress)
B) No matter how often you fall down - just keep getting back up
C) Ask for help when you need it. People want to help.
D) I am way more resilient than I give myself credit for.
Rewind a few months ago, and I bet I would have handled this situation differently. I would have had a pity party and after I finally managed to get up, I would have bolted and probably disappeared from the gym.
What is different this time around?
I am attempting to cultivate an unshakable belief in myself. I whisper to myself, "I can and I will." There's going to be bumps and bruises along the way. The point is to accept it and then move on. I cannot let fear of failure keep me down. I am showing that I have a winning spirit and I am pushing through.
I had another really good night of working out. Tomorrow will be waddles part 2. That's okay. It is all part of the journey. This is what I signed up for. This is who I am.
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
It takes courage to re-define myself every day, but that is just what I am doing. I felt like
b) passing out
c) screaming in frustration
d) crawling into a ball and hiding in the corner
I did none of these things today at the gym, but what I did do was take AMAZING big steps towards achieving my goals and here is what I did do:
a) stopped when I felt dizzy or uncomfortable and told my trainer
b) drank buckets of water
c) pushed myself beyond my comfort zone -- WAY BEYOND
d) sweated up a storm
In the process of working out tonight with my trainers by my side, I climbed onto a treadmill and an elliptical. It was not the norm. They put steps there to help me climb onto the equipment and obviously I would stand out. The trainer told me to tell him if I did not feel I could do it, or if I did not want to do it, and truthfully, I didn't but here's the thing -- I am ALREADY standing out. I am frequently one of the heaviest if not the heaviest people in the gym, or out and about. So what's the difference if I am going to stand out because I need some help climbing onto the equipment. At least, I am making an effort.
I've come to realize the more I believe in MYSELF, the less I care what others think. I got this. I am doing it. Regardless of how long it takes me, I am going to keep plugging away. I am going to continue to show up on my own behalf. I am really quite a lovely person with a kind and generous attitude (mostly) and I am absolutely worth taking matters into my own hands to improve myself.
So have some courage, tell yourself what you want to do for yourself and get going. You are so worth the effort. We got this. Let's do it together.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
It doesn't really matter what others might think of me. It is who I am and how I view myself that matters.
Who am I? Good question. The answer is changing.
I have been cutting through the lower end of the building and entering through the loading dock area at work because it is closer to my new office. I am on the third floor in the northeast corner, so I have been entering the the building from the southeast. I used to enter from the southwest to avoid the big hill.
As of this week, I am walking up the big hill which actually gets me to the northeast corner. Where I want to be. I was carrying some extra stuff with me this morning, and I still took the march up the hill. Why? Because I am redefining myself as a person who walks up that hill. YEAH!
Big stuff for me. I am making progress every day!
How do you define yourselves, sparkies? How has that changed?
Get An Email Alert Each Time MICKEYMAX Posts