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Pushing Beyond Excuses

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Last night I came home from a workout with my coach, Hadley, that kicked my butt. I was feeling it in every fiber of my being. I had to dig deep even though at times throughout, my well felt empty. I went to bed around normal time, but then lay there for about 3 hours wide awake, hurting, and too wired to sleep. I was relieved when hubby got up around 3am so it wouldn't matter if I made noise. I conked out for a while and got up around 5:30 and started watching Sharknado on the DVR. Stupid, obviously, but kind of hilarious in parts.

In my quasi stupor of having slept for just a couple of hours, I tripped (over my own feet) and went flying through the living room. There was nothing I could do to stop myself, just brace for hitting the floor, wall, tv, whatever. Luckily, I more or less landed chest down on the coffee table. That is a good, sturdy table. $40 well spent when I lived in Boston at the Christmas Tree Shop. ha ha. Landing with a hard thump was not exactly pleasant, but I managed to be on my knees at impact. Getting up from this was far easier than I would have experienced in the past. Far easier. Nothing broken, good for a laugh although I felt a bit more sore, but could not tell if it was from the workout last night or the table jumping in front of me to protect my fall.

I licked my wounds and went back to bed for a couple more hours. Felt better and could move around pretty well without having to take alleve which I have been trying to take in as meager an amount as possible. I had an appointment set with Don, my new trainer this afternoon. He is replacing the role of Kimmy, my previous trainer. He is very high energy and he has a very positive attitude. It took me a little while to warm up to him, but we are on track now, and he is proving to be yet another champion for my cause.

I am really proud of myself for getting right back in the gym after getting through the workout last night --- which was - a lap around the parking lot, followed by a new PR on the octane (elliptical) 11:10 and then another mile on the octane after a few minute break. I did not want to get back on after getting off the octane. I was hurting. I felt drained. Hadley "threatened" to drag me off the wall where I was sitting. I stalled and gave him attitude, but eventually got back on and did it.

Today's workout started off with 3 sets of a seated row, overhead lifting of a 10 lb. weight over my head, and "headbangers." Never heard about those before, but it was using a normal weight stack, standing at an angle and pulling the weight towards my nose while trying to keep my elbows up. My next exercise put me into a little bit of a panic attack because Don wanted me to sit on the lat machine. I've used that machine but only while standing. It has a low seat and therefore hard and awkward for me to get up. But I sat down. Changed his mind after I sat down (belly in the way) and said I had to get up. Um, this took a while before I could do that, but I did. Sat back down with my back to it, and did pull downs behind my back. Better Finished up on some pec machine. Half hour moved fast.

I was really happy with myself for a couple of reasons:

1) No excuses. I was sore from last night and from the fall and I surged ahead anyway.
2) I am doing new things and acclimating to them
3) I am trusting my support crew (Trainer/coach) to help me, and staying open minded that these 2 professionals know what they are doing.
4) My progress continues, and I am the one doing it - watching my diet, staying motivated, being positive.

I started working out at 468.8 lbs. (probably more). I could barely do more than lift a medicine ball over my head without feeling like I would collapse. I am not that woman anymore. I am so much more, weighing so much less. I have cast 65 lbs off my body and we're just getting started.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SURVIVOR61 7/31/2014 7:26PM

    I just love your blogs. You go girl! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DTHOR6 7/31/2014 7:06PM

    Awesome emoticon

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    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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68ANNE 7/31/2014 6:13PM

    Isn't it amazing how they can get us to do things we would never do by ourselves

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IM_POSSIBLE 7/31/2014 5:45PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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UMBILICAL 7/31/2014 5:36PM

  Excuses begone

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Rope Trainer

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Some folks have asked me about a rope trainer. Here is a picture of a rope trainer. It is a machine with a long rope looped on a gear. You can set the resistance to make it harder.

You can sit or kneel on the seat or stand when pulling the rope. I stand. I usually have the resistance set on a 3. It goes from 1-7.

It is good for your arms and shoulders. I generally do no more than 2,000 feet a night. Once I did like 10 k and ended up with tennis elbow. Oops.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOVESEYES 7/30/2014 8:44PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LACEYKYLE 7/30/2014 6:56PM

    You are emoticon !! I've never seen one of these. Thanks for the info. Have a good nite.

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    Ohhh! Wow, I've never seen this before. Thanks for sharing!

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SARAWALKS 7/30/2014 3:39PM

    Thanks! I'm not sure my gym has one of those. I'll have to look around...

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I Am Emerging

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

If you would have asked me what I wanted to get out of going to the gym a few months ago, I probably would have said something like, "lose a few pounds and get around more easily." At the core those things are still true, but what I recognize now looking back, I was shortchanging myself in this quest. I never knew or could have presumed that my life would transform, that I would become a better, more vibrant person. It wasn't in my scope to believe that my whole life would change, not just my relationship with exercise.

Oh I whine and complain about many things and even once, stomped my feet (ps that was last week or so) where I don't "feel" like doing certain things. Maybe that is just part of my shtick with Hadley. Could be. He brings that out in me at times. It's all part of the fun and games. We enjoy each other's antics for the most part.

But the reality is, my 60 lb. loss and slimmer body is just the tip of the iceberg. I am releasing a lot of baggage from my past. I have re-connected with many people I knew from days gone by. I have learned to appreciate life's little moments. I feel like I am reviving myself in belonging to a stronger, supportive community of friends. I have always had a ton of friends, and make them quite easily, but I stopped myself from being too close to people. I know how I got to that point. That's the easy part - the tougher part is just letting it all hang out, for better or for worse, and if things don't work they way you thought, it is okay. Not everyone needs to be in my life for the duration of time. Some people will come and go, and that is perfectly okay.

I am still growing into the very big promotion I got at work, but I am confident that I am a great leader and manager and I have already proved myself. I need to switch gears a bit from what I have done in the past, but I am making great strides, and I am seen in a very good light, not only by my manager, but his, and far up the chain. I am well known in company circles, and that is because I am darn good at my job, and getting better.

I am figuring out how to be a better wife. We had kind of a rough patch a 3-4 years ago and while devastated at the time, I have forgiven it, and I realize I need to do more to improve the situation. It is not one-sided and if it ever came to being on my own, I could completely do it and be just fine. But we have a good life together, and we have been through stuff, and despite its moments, he is a great man with a big heart. My changes are new to him also, and it will take some adjustments from everyone. I see this all around me. I am not the same person, but I think I am a way better version of me. I am healthier, happier, fitter and thinner. I still have hundreds to lose to be where I want to be and I am going to get there. Between now and then, there will be a whole lot more changes to come. I am ready for it.

It is nice to like who you are on the inside, and watch your outside grow on you too.

What do I want out of going to the gym regularly? To lose some weight and move more easily....and to keep transforming and making myself healthier, stronger and happier daily. Plant the seed to love yourself a little, and watch it grow.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMARILYNH 7/30/2014 3:46PM

    OHHH, but this blog made me smile! I LOVE that you are transforming not only your body, but your LIFE! I identify with a lot of those feelings, and knowing how you are growing your spirit just makes me HAPPY!! Hugs!!

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SARAWALKS 7/30/2014 1:32PM

    Another WOW from me, you are hitting on all eight these days!

I know what you mean about keeping a distance. I'm giving that one up too.
"the tougher part is just letting it all hang out, for better or for worse, and if things don't work they way you thought, it is okay. " So so true. It takes so much energy to maintain that distance, energy one could be putting on other more important things.

Like all that stuff you listed at the end! emoticon

Hadley sounds a lot of fun. emoticon

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DAISYBELLEKIA 7/30/2014 8:20AM

    emoticon I always look forward to reading your blog, you are so inspiring to me!

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RAINBOWFALLS 7/30/2014 7:52AM

    You are amazing!

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RHOOK20047 7/30/2014 6:47AM

    Way to go! You are on the road to success. Keep doing what you are doing as it is working and your attitude is fantatic. Keep up the good work!

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DOVESEYES 7/30/2014 12:47AM

    I am still amazed how much more there is to losing the weight, external, internal, relationships, everything.
you are doing great.

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LINTPICKER 7/30/2014 12:18AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
You Rock!!

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POSITIVEHOPE 7/29/2014 11:11PM

    Yes, those are the same reasons I started this journey. I wanted to be smaller and move more easily. Along the way, I came to realize I wanted to put down the baggage that was limiting my life. Just not hearing myself pause, stop and let out a heavy sigh before attempting to climb a flight of stairs. Those little everyday sad, unhappy moments that I barely noticed are becoming small everyday personal victories. I feel healthier every time I move more freely. I'm sure the changes in my life are a bit of a jolt to my family. They are super supportive but any change as big as this is an adjustment for everyone. I like the healthier, happier, stronger version of myself that is emerging.

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JENNIK2 7/29/2014 10:53PM

    Very good blog!

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MCJOYFUL 7/29/2014 10:53PM

    That is so great!

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In the Midst of Change

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Change is rough sometimes, and other times, it just seems to flow. I am experiencing some of both right now, but I am getting through it just fine.

This morning I woke up with a leg cramp and a thought on my mind: "I am getting stronger and healthier every day." I choose to believe this, and it is helping me to conquer the next set of challenges i am experiencing.

For one, my trainer, Kimmy has left. Sure, I have others to help and support me including a new trainer, Don, with whom I am working with tonight, but it does not replace the warm fuzzy feelings I had for Kimmy, and how I could pretty much talk to her about any frustration and she would get it. When I was a kid, I would marvel at my Nanny (grandmother on my mom's side). She would sit and listen for hours to my cousin's grandmother, and nod and seem in perfect harmony. However, they did not speak the same language! My Nan was 100% Irish, and my cousin's grandma, 100% Italian. Pretty funny to watch, but they totally got each other even without words.

Kimmy is not out of the picture. I consider her a lifelong friend, and I can easily connect with her, but still it is an adjustment. I still have my coach, Hadley, and I am very grateful for that, too.

Went to the kidney doc's and have been prescribed a new way of eating to get my numbers in check. My numbers are not bad, but with news of my eldest brother having a kidney transplant, it seems all eyes are on me to getting the sodium and potassium out of my diet. Ok, why are all the foods that I love and eat (including many healthy items suddenly verboten? Spinach, broccoli, tomatoes, mushrooms, cheese, ....out, out out. Guess it is a good thing Hadley tried to wean me off cheese months ago. It definitely helped though it made me want to hate him at the time. ha ha ha (he will tell you he gets that a lot...from me.)

Last night I was working out by myself in the gym. I got there later than normal, but I got in and handled the challenge Hadley set before me: Kilimanjaro is 19,341 feet, so using a combination of bike, octane (elliptical) and rope trainer, cover 19,341 feet. It sounds pretty awful, but actually it was fine. Coach threw me a bone and reminded me a mile = 5,280 feet. To complete it, I did 1 mile on the octane, 2.48 bike and 967 feet on the rope trainer.

When I finished, I thought there you go, you did it. You can come in here, and manage your workout on your own. You can handle it. You are going to keep going. There's change, but there's nothing to be afraid of. I am just going to keep moving forward. I got this.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMARILYNH 7/30/2014 3:49PM

    YES!! You are doing great!! emoticon

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BEACHCALSIX 7/29/2014 7:53PM

very inspirational, life changes and this journey is learning how to work with life and make it a permanent habit, great job!

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MCJOYFUL 7/29/2014 7:46PM

    It's so neat to see how you've progressed! Keep it up! You are doing great!

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POSITIVEHOPE 7/29/2014 7:16PM

    Just keep reminding yourself that the magic is in you for following your trainers advice. It is nice to work with someone who just gets us. When you feel the need, just ask yourself, "What would Kimmy say?"
Changing your diet to exclude those items is a challenge. Fresh foods are your best choices when you can. I LOVE mushrooms so that would be the hardest for me. Glad to hear your current numbers are good.

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KRISTA987 7/29/2014 6:45PM

    Ahhhh, sodium is a hard one! Even though I opt for low or non-sodium choices, it's still hard for me to stay in my recommended daily range! Good Luck on the next steps of your journey. You got this!

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DYNAMICDEB53 7/29/2014 5:42PM

    I agree change can be hard. It sounds like you are determined to get through the challenges and changes in you life and keep a good attitude. WTG!
All of this will help make you a stronger and healthier person.

Smiles and hugs

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SARAWALKS 7/29/2014 3:09PM

    Wondering about the rope trainer too... ???

And I always thought potassium was a GOOD thing. ??? I've heard it helps prevent muscle cramps among other things...

Yeah, you got this! emoticon

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    Keep it up! You are doing great!! That sure sounds like a fun workout. What the heck is a rope trainer though??? LOL! I've never heard of that.

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Dream Big and then Dream Bigger

Friday, July 25, 2014

Today when I took my lunch break, the lure of the sunshine was just too much to keep me inside. It was sunny, bright and beautiful - not too hot, nor humid, just 3 bears' kind of weather....just right.

The last time I sat on the patio at work was out of necessity in early June. Then I was able to sit in the chairs, but not without a lot of squeezing, and prayers being said that I could get out of the seat, IN moments like these, I frequently wait until most people around me have moved on, and I allow myself to do whatever contortion is necessary to disengage myself out of the seat.

Not today --- today I just easily sat in the chair, very comfortable, no hint of trouble and it was a great feeling. It made me feel "normal."

As I was sitting there, enjoying my solo chill time -- I started thinking about last night's achieved milestone, namely getting up off the floor just using my hands and knees. I myself, never set this as a goal. Apparently my coach did though which got me to thinking. Where else have I cut myself short thinking I could not do something? What is happening now is that my world is beginning to expand.

I am not saying that I can do these things tomorrow, but every day I work out, I am pulling myself closer to these things coming true. I started thinking about the climbing wall, and how one day I will be able to climb that. I thought about going back to see shows on Broadway (even if I have to pay for them), I thought about travel opportunities I have bypassed to avoid the plane issues - seat belt extenders, or worse yet, paying for 2 seats. All of these things (and more) once seemed out of my reach because of my size and attitude. This is actually not the case anymore. I may not be ready for these challenges this minute, but I am moving closer to my goals everyday.

Getting up off the floor is just the beginning. There is so much more to come, so don't stop dreaming, and in fact, just keep dreaming bigger.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GEMINIGEM6 7/28/2014 1:18PM

    So happy for you! :)

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FORZACHANDMATT 7/27/2014 10:04PM

    What a great NSV!

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MCJOYFUL 7/27/2014 6:16PM

    That is so wonderful that you are seeing more possibilities! Keep it up!

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68ANNE 7/27/2014 12:07AM

    I remember things I use to be not able to do. This is great!

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KEKEIKO 7/26/2014 10:17AM

    emoticon That's a beautiful story and yet sad as well. Not many people give sitting in a chair a second thought They sit, they get up. I personally have not given it much thought. You've enlightened me today of the internal struggles of larger sized people.

Wishing you well on your goals. I know you'll reach your dreams with your positive attitude. emoticon

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LINTPICKER 7/26/2014 9:42AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SANDY1969 7/26/2014 9:27AM

    I can not tell you how much I enjoy your blogs and better yet how much I am inspired to do more whenever I read one. There is this feeling in the pit of my stomach that almost makes me want to leap from my chair and do SOMETHING, anything to help me achieve my goals. Getting off the floor is a big issue with me as well. For one thing I never get down ON the floor when I didnt have some "help" getting back up...whether it be a footstool or a table edge to hoist myself with. I "think" I could get up by myself if I had to. Someday maybe I will throw myself on the floor and get back up like a buoy in a lake bobs over and upright.

Great job on the chairs and just all around doing what you are doing.

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BE-THE-CHANGE 7/26/2014 7:53AM


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POSITIVEHOPE 7/26/2014 1:28AM

    Yes, we let many things go and told ourselves that it didn't matter. When those things come back into our lives, we realize how sweet they are and how enriched our lives are just for having them. Then we recognize how many little things we've let go and that we want back. It's a wonderful, but sad. Thing to realize. It's motivating to move forward.

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DOVESEYES 7/26/2014 12:15AM

    Awesome, hope all your dreams come to pass.

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