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There's always an excuse

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

There is though, isn't there? There is always an excuse to not eat properly. Or get off track with what you lay down as your 'goals'.
There the holidays,Birthdays, Graduations, BBQ's,Anniversary's, the list goes on and on. There is not escaping food, or the abundance of it. Usually in front of you.
There is also emotional obstacles that try and often do derail you from your goals.

My latest emotional derailment was Thursday past when my 15yr old daughter told me in no uncertain terms that she was going to live with her father. (he lives in the same small town we do) Well, I went through this when my son turned 16 a few years ago. It was hard, but I got through it. He still comes home to eat lunch every day from school, and the occasional suppers.
Well, this was totally unexpected. I never thought she was going to do this. Apparently, her step-father and myself 'yell' at her too much. If telling her over and over again to 'shut the lights off', 'clean up your room', 'brush your teeth'etc.. you know, the usual stuff!

Since then, I've ate, then couldn't eat. I haven't exercised. I just don't bloody want to. Saturday I spent the whole day crying, and well into the night. I woke up with a migraine. Of course. Self-induced. Spent Mother's Day with my dear husband and my 6yr old trying to make me feel better. Couldn't eat, not with my stomach heaving. Didn't hear from my daughter. My oldest son decided to text me "Happy Mother's Day" around 4 that afternoon. Sometimes I just hate modern technology.
So yeah, that has been my life for the last several days. The only person I'm hurting is me. So, I'm here to tell you all I've had enough with the self-pity party I've been having. I'm sorry if I let anyone down. I'm usually the first to tell anyone,"You can do it," "Keep it up"etc,etc, and here I am not practicing what I preach. What a phony I am.

I don't usually blog. There is always an excuse not too. It's really easy to make excuses. There a dime a dozen, and so easily available. It takes no effort to come up with one, or two. The things in life that take some effort in life is what we, or I should be striving for. Why is it so easy to go back to the crappy lifestyle we had. It's easy, that's why. It's what we know, and are used to . Well, If I/we want a healthier, and yes-happier life we need to change.
So yes, there is always an excuse to go back to your old ways. But, there are many excuses to get some new healthier ones too.

"True hope dwells on the possible, even when life seems to be a plot written by someone who wants to see how much adversity we can overcome."
-Walter Anderson

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEACHGIRL76 12/18/2010 10:23AM

    I hope you are doing better with this situation...it's been over half a year now! lol So yes I'm late responding but I read this and wanted to see how you were doing or if your daughter is still with her dad. :)

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PRAIRIEDAWNPAM 5/14/2010 10:15PM

    I just went through this with my 15-year-old son. Feel free to message me privately if you ever want to talk.



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TRAINER_T 5/12/2010 2:46PM

    I'm sorry to hear about this all, and I understand being blind-sided its happened to me. You just don't know how much emotions effect your eating till something happens like this.

For me its the "can't eat syndrom", plus I am the zodiac sign of Cancer and internalize by nature. I do hope it is getting better for you now and the fact that your daughter is with her dad just remember its not always greener on the other side.

Get your feelings out and in the open, or write them down and burn them just don't let it eat you up. Its ok to cry and be emotional as long as your being true to yourself which is all that you can control.

You have raised great kids, now its time to let them fly and enjoy your family time and your DH. Maybe invite her to lunch and just chat and stay close, your her mom (not her friend)and you did right by having house rules.

It will pay off in the future for her, even if she and your son can't see it right now..your a super MOM never forget that!

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TOFUDEE 5/11/2010 10:32PM

    It will all work out. Girls and boys all need their mommys and they will realize it sooner then they will let on to you. They always think the grass is greener but when they learn that it's not any better on that side of the fence they do not dare admit it. You are the best and they know it in their hearts. Teens are tough. emoticon

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HDHAWK 5/11/2010 10:20PM

    Hey sweetie. I've been wondering where you were at. This is normal and unfortunately our kids have the choice to go to the other parent's home. My kids are struggling with their dad (or lack of) right now too. My future step daughter had told us she'd spend a week at a time with us once we moved, but her dad has more rules than mom so she hasn't done that so far.
Bottom line is it hurts and it's not an excuse to take some time to figure this out. This isn't an "ordinary" excuse like the ones we toss around on a daily basis. You're entitled to feel what you need to feel.
Do take care of you, let your daughter know you love her, and do what you need to do. They will both come back around. Trust me, 2 of mine are older now and we have wonderful relationships. Takes some time and growing up.
We're here for you whenever you need us! Love you girl!

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KAREN7360 5/11/2010 9:49PM

    Oh sweet Michelle, far from phony and far from being a walking excuse. What we do is react to pain - it is not an excuse, it is a human emotion - kind of like grief in a way and we have to work through those feelings that this pain creates. Your daughter is doing the normal teen thing sweetie - you guys yell too much because she lives there, Dad doesn't yell too much because she doesn't live there ---- let's see what the coming days look like in her world. It is always easier for the children to think that life is always better on the other side - let's see if she finds that long term.

In the meanwhile let your feelings go and let your mind and your heart deal with them, then you will be ready to move forward as you did with your son. Don't take this as a personal assault - assault on your heart, yes, an unexpected event from your daughter, that has hurt you. Let your heart heal and let your emotions run their path -- but don't forget that no matter what YOU matter and attacking yourself won't change your daughters mind. The only thing that will change her mind is to go out and find out on her own if its what she thinks it is going to be.

Be okay with her - at least she has gone to Dad's and not run away leaving your petrified. She will find her way with this and just trust that your her Mom and that will always be - she will reach out for you, just let her have the space and she will.

I love you dearly and you know I am here. emoticon emoticon

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MR.NET1 5/11/2010 9:09PM

    emoticon emoticon

You haven' let anyone down...

Ya' here, aren't ya' emoticon



Comment edited on: 5/11/2010 9:09:55 PM

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JERSEYGIRL1950 5/11/2010 1:22PM

    Hey, The last thing you are is a phoney..your human and this is what teens do when they are searching for their identity in life and who is the first one they crap on is mom..I have 5 of them and it's the same case with all of them..it's part of her rebellion to break free of the cord..oh emotionally I'm sure your a wreck..all 3 of my girls did this to me..now the oldest and I are the best of friends..the other 2 still growing up with their attitudes ..you can't live with guilt or the what did I do wrong..it's not your stuff it's hers trying to spread those wings and don't tell me what to do attitude..it's the growing up process..you know what I'm dealing with and everday is a struggle to stay positive and take care of myself..when I rather crawl in a hole...remember this too shall pass. Hugs

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WRITINMYSTORY 5/11/2010 11:48AM

    Oh Mitch---I was wondering why you weren't on the boards? Why is it when we need our friends the most we withdraw from them? (Talking about me here too cuz I do the same thing....)

Don't be too hard on yourself. Although we don't have children I am of the age to recognize there isn't a teenager in the world who doesn't think their parents yell at them all the time. My neighbor's who have teenager's actaully effectionately refer to them as the "teen-angers" group....because for some reason or the other it seems like they are mad at them all the time for everything they do.

Pick yourself up and get marchin' down that road with me again. We'll get back on track together Sista! emoticon

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Saturday, August 15, 2009

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I had a very difficult day yesterday. I was angry, upset, depressed, and very confused!
A few days a go my scale broke. Fine. No big deal. I just had to pick another one up next time I went to the store. I didn't go all out and buy one that can read this, and that. Personally, I don't believe all the things a scale can tell you just by stepping on the darn thing! I just wanted a simple one that tells my weight.
Brought it home, stepped on it the next morning, and noticed a SIX pound weight gain!! WHAT???!!! Were the springs in the darn thing just stiff? I adjusted it properly to begin with. I'm eating what I'm suppose to. Working hard with my fitness. Was it just water weight? All this heat, I am drinking a lot of water. WHAT??? Well, the whole da, all I could think about was the numbers. I asked my husband, as well as my daughter if I looked like I gained any weight. 'No' they both said. Over, and over again. My husband later explained that not every scale is going to read the same numbers. Well, that kinda sucks! ( excuse the pun) If you are going to sell something that reads measurment, shouldn't be universal? Shouldn't they all read the same??
I know you should go by how you feel, how your clothes feel, etc,etc.. But geez, why I am so stuck up on the numbers??? Why do I believe I have to be a certain weight to be happy?? Is it a limiting factor of mine? I've made a whole lot of changes in my life the last few years. I am leading a healthier lifestyle. I have hit goal weight. ( well I thought I did) I have pretty much completely changed my eating habits. Switched up my fitness routine. Been happier then I have been in my whole life. So what's up??
It comes down to your mindset, I believe. Something else I have to work at changing, I wholeheartedly believe. Like many things in my life, and maybe yours. I've read, and been told certain things all my life. You're programed to believe you're suppose to do this, you're suppose to be that, this works, that doesn't. Then, it takes a whole lot of deprograming to right all these wrongs, to try to break the bad habits and make them into good. It's not easy, you need to change your mindset around to believe you will succede!! Never mind the numbers.It's only a number. You can keep working towards a goal weight, or measurment, but I'm thinking working on your mindset is just as important.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHRSTINAG 2/16/2010 1:04PM

    Hey ... did you try calibrating it? If you have a hand weight at home, place it on the scale, then there should be a little knob "somewhere" on the thing that you can move up or down to make the scale match the weight. I mean a 5 lb piece of metal is always going to be consistent, but a scale, which has moving parts won't necessarily always be. You may find that the scale is seriously off kilter and just needs a little adjusting. :)

BUT ... if you don't ... remember big weight jumps are usually retaining water or some other quirky thing and it was probably a false gain that will correct itself within a week. :)

Great attitude ... mindset is most of the battle. You are doing fantastic. :)

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PSUWIFE 11/16/2009 6:39AM

    Yes, I too hate the scale. And, I hate the power it can have on making OR breaking my day. One stupid number. Especially after I KNOW I've done the right things... exercise like a maniac, eat clean, drink my water, etc... and still the damn thing tells me something I don't want to see.
It even changes my body image of myself. When I look at me, I don't see a number. I see a fit, strong, happy middle aged mom with a blessed life.
I think I am gonna put my scale under my bed for a month! emoticon
I am even gonna switch to body fat percentages too...
Wow, this blog really got me all worked up!! LOL emoticon
We have a lot in common, so glad to have found Spark People, and you!
Keep doing the right things... it IS working!!!!

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GLITTERGIRL69 9/23/2009 3:16PM

    You are absolutely correct. Just keep doing what you have been doing. Work out your mind as you do with your body, and you will renew your mind. We all have to, no matter how much we weight. This world dumps so much in it each day. I saw your picture and thought how pretty you were. Then I saw that you were at your heaviest there. I am totally straight, but I just want to tell you, you must be stoning now. I am really happy that you reached your goal weight. You keep up the awesome work! The best is yet to come!!! emoticon

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STEPHANIE.F 8/15/2009 11:09AM

    I can totally relate to what you are feeling. I had the SAME EXACT DAY that you had yesterday! I gained 12 lbs in a month!!!That is with the SAME scale that I always use. I can honestly say that I don't know why. A lot of times I will binge eat and put on a few lbs, but not this time! I made some poor food choices, but I was still in my calorie allowance. I have been putting in a lot of exercise. I have since calmed down and realized it's not the end of the world. I have decided that I need more sleep, less stress and just keep on pushing! I'm hoping that when I finish these antibiotics, that will help also.

You probably didn't gain anything, it is just a different scale. How do your clothes fit? Try not to stress over it. You definitely have the right idea about working on your mindset. You are a smart lady, you'll get it worked out.

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JERSEYGIRL1950 8/15/2009 11:04AM

    OOhhh, I should not be laughing but this whole blog I was rolling laughing that sounds just plain mean doesn't it... because you sound just like me although I think there was a lot more swearing,cursing,cussing,and throwing around..... when I brought that new scale and had the same 6 pounds difference ...did we buy the same scale?????? LOL.... I read dee's thought about a bf scale but more numbers to get pissed off about...that would just being cruel to myself ..we woman all run around with these numbers.. yes it's a definitely let go of the scale..hey if I kept my eyes on numbers would I still be doing this at 58???? Girl you look awesome and love you to death, you've supported and motivated me and have always been there...we are more than just a number you have shown me that time and time again....let it go and you wanted another challenge right???? keep it positve emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BEKAH_IS_FIT 8/15/2009 10:41AM

    I have a continuing mantra about the scale......

The emoticonis emoticon

Thanks for sharing, my friend.

Comment edited on: 8/15/2009 10:42:07 AM

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HELENAWF 8/15/2009 10:30AM

    I can totally relate. I do get fixated on my weight. I look in the mirror and go wow is that me. Step on the scale and get depressed or have my bodyfat tested and get depressed. The mind is very powerful. The problem is we set up expectations in our heads and if life does not follow those plans we get depressed and throw up our hands in disgust. I agree with you, conquering the mind is very important. I am still struggling with this myself. Thanks for sharing!


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TOFUDEE 8/15/2009 9:25AM

    I have that same numbers thing going on. I have also found that scales have different numbers. I have a drs scale, one of those big things that you have to move the weights over, it's always accurate. I have one in my bathroom that is always 3 lbs lighter than the drs scale. And I finally broke down and bought a good scale from amazon - an Omron - and it agrees with the dr scale. Unfortunately for me, it also measure bmi, fat %, muscle % and some other things that slapped me upside the head.

You are looking fantastic and I'm not just saying that to be nice. If I didn't think that I would not say anything. Scales can also be affected by being on carpet. You are doing great and you just keep that in mind!

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MR.NET1 8/15/2009 9:17AM

    Hi there, emoticon
I think you are doing emoticon...Seriously! emoticon
You have it all figured out. emoticon

*Under one of my photos, it's written...
*The mind, the body and THE HEART! emoticon
*If you have the last one FOR YOU! emoticon
*You can't be or go wrong ALWAYS! emoticon

You have a Husband and Children that love you...
FOR WHO YOU ARE. emoticon
Take care, Mrs.Fit 4 her beautiful life. emoticon
Paul emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/15/2009 9:23:32 AM

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Switch It Up!!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

I'm sure many people have found themselves in the same boat as myself. Wake up, exercise, get on with your day, then maybe exercise in the evening. Also of course, watch what you eat.
Well, for years I used to do my strength training in the mornings, then my cardio in the evenings. Hey, it worked for me! But, as well as switching your Strength training every four weeks or so, and your cardio which is great, and takes off the boredom, I've found that switching your overall routine around also works.
Besides doing my rollerblading-cardio, in the morning (which is sadly going to end in about a month due to the leaves falling off the trees, and being unsafe-'till next spring)I do my strength in the evening, with usually a walk after sometime during the evening. It's great. I probably will switch it up again sometime in the late fall. Just to shock my system.
I also found how peaceful it is to get up at 6am and hit the pavement. It's quiet, the birds are chirping, and in most cases you get to watch the sun rise. I don't want to lose that yet. I might just continue my morning cardio outside with a walk/jog routine. I used to be in crosscountry running at school! It might have been over 30 years ago, but I don't feel my age, so why not?
Switch it up, not matter what you are doing, it eases the bordom, and brings something new and exciting in your life.
This also applies to what you eat. Instead of eating your eggs for breakfast, try them for supper! Who said you have to eat certain foods at certain times of the day? Portion control, low fat, remember your water and vegies, and I believe everyone can be fit and healthy.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TXHRT4U 8/13/2009 9:20AM

    emoticon blog. Change and getting out of our comfort zones is what makes us grow. I think the morning time is the best time of day.

Have a great day,


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TOFUDEE 8/13/2009 9:13AM

    What a great idea. I always do everything at the same time of day because I'm mostly catatonic in the morning and cannot do anything that requires me to 'be there'. Maybe I can change things and that will change things!!!

Great blog!

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AMAANDAUD 8/13/2009 8:25AM

    Your post mde me smile! I'm currently trying to mix things up and get back on schedule...

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JERSEYGIRL1950 8/13/2009 8:16AM

    hey girl, Totally agree with you but love my early mornings walks no one around love seeing the sun rise over the lake and usually to the wgts aroung noon time cause knowing me if i waited till night i wouldn't do it..but last week took an evening walk because roxy was going hyper i enjoyed although was still too hot but hoping as the humidity leaves I can start doing some evening walking... yea whos says sometimes I have my dinner in the morning dh grimaces but I like it ..have a great day your rockin it emoticon emoticon

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1THING 8/13/2009 8:08AM


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Now What??

Monday, July 27, 2009

It took a little longer then I wanted it to, but I finally did it!! I met my goal weight. With a little help from some team mates last week on an awesome week-long challenge. I needed a little push I guess to get those last two stubborn pounds off!
So now what? Do I keep eating the way I've been doing? Do I keep sweating out those workouts like I've been doing? Should I lose more weight? Should I tone up more? Or do I switch everything up, and shock the heck out of my system?
Well, I like the way I've been eating. I like the way it makes me feel. So I don't really think I'll be changing that at all. What I will do, I'm thinking is going on the hunt for some new healthy recipies! That'll get my tastebuds a tingling!!
My workouts? I like doing what I'm doing. I feel yucki when I don't exercise. I might need a day off here and there.-like I did yesterday. I took a whole day off. I don't usually do that.I usually do something.
As for toning up. Yeah, I'm still working on that. Doing pretty good though thanks to my PT Karen, and the great support of an awesome team that I've been blessed to be on and made great friends with!
So, who knows I might lose some more, I might not. All that matters right now is that I like where I am. I/m happy. I'm going to continue to do what makes me happy. Doing it all with the support of all of you is a bonus!!
Couldn't have done it without all of you gals!! emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    what was your goal?....

it must be an awesome feeling...i can't wait until i reach 120lbs and be in maintenance mode like you!

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CJSINGS 7/29/2009 6:35AM

    Congratulations! I like your attitude. Keep up the good work! :)

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MR.NET1 7/28/2009 7:39PM

Paul emoticon

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TRESZKA 7/28/2009 9:11AM

    Congratulations! You did it! I have to agree with Pam, you might come with a new goal in a couple days or weeks. I think we always need some kind of goal otherwise we might get too comfortable and let go. I'm talking from experience.

I read this quote somewhere, and it is very true:
Every time you accomplish an objective, it is not the end of anything; it is the beginning, the starting point for another stage of an ongoing journey of progress, development, growth and adventure.

And yes, please do share your new recipes with us.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/28/2009 12:42:56 PM

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KISZSALA 7/28/2009 6:50AM

    Congratulation on reaching your goal. This is awesome. emoticon Rita

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HELENAWF 7/27/2009 3:14PM

    Great job! Let's celebrate! emoticonI am glad that eating clean is working and that you feel the effects. That will keep you on the right road. Exercise is so important. I am glad that will stay. Healthy recipes sounds like fun! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Keep it up!


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PRAIRIEDAWNPAM 7/27/2009 10:09AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Congratulations! My advice is to keep doing what you are doing for a while, you don't want to go backwards, and just enjoy your goal weight and think about what comes next. The answer may come to you days from now or weeks, but you will come up with another goal. I think having another goal -- whether its to tone up or try a new sport or learn new recipes -- is what keeps my maintenance going. Its what keeps me here and Spark People and my Spark Friends keep me from falling off the wagon, so to speak.

Keep us posted. You are amazing!


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JERSEYGIRL1950 7/27/2009 10:06AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonThat's outstanding!!!!!! and share those recipes!!!

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SMHPHOTOGAL 7/27/2009 10:01AM

Congrats on hitting your GOAL!! emoticon
The "now what" thing...sounds like a good plan to stick with what makes you happy...that's what matters MOST!
Recipes are always fun to play with...have fun and let us know what you come up with :)
Again emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Tuesday, June 02, 2009

My life revolves-like many of you all; children. I volunteer at our schools' breakfast program , as well as being in charge of of churchs' Sunday school litergy program.
Not to mention the daily chores of keeping the home running smoothly, and taxiing the children around .
My oldest son, spends most of his time at his fathers home. He has a weight bench and variable weights in his room here. So of course, I take advantage and use away at them! But, then there are the days, or weeks he decides to stay with us. Besides getting up at 6am. Sometimes 5:30 to get my morning workout in, I have to move the weight bench,bars and whatever weights I need for the days' particular workout day out of my sons' room into the rec /computer/ play room!! When I am finished, and my son wakes up, I have to move it all back!
There are also the cardio mornings when I look forward to a fast-paced rollerblade for an hour.( I am really blessed that I can do that where I live. ) But, when I look out the window and it rains, instead of crawling back under the covers, I get up and do some other cardio.
I am determined to stay fit. If I have to do this all the time, so be it! If I have to get a babysitter to watch my youngest one so I can go for an evening brisk walk (in case my two older ones arn't around) I will! I have done so, in the past.
Are you determined enough to fight for what you want? Do you have to go through a tough time just to get a workoput in? Are you justified in doing so? ......YES YOU ARE!!! Your body will love you for it. Your mind will benifit from it. YOU CAN DO THIS!!! STAY DETERMINED!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Thanks for sharing this, Mich. I am determined. Mentally. Sometimes getting my body to move in the direction of my goals is a challenge, but I know you are right that although it may be hard some days, I must do it anyway. Thank you.


PS I share custody of two of my three kids. I know how emotionally exhausting it can be to have our kids go back and forth.

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