Sunday, October 12, 2014
Oh my, this is a hard one. Soooo sluggish today. Sleep last night was horrible. I kept waking up coughing (allergy season) needing to pee (drank the last three cups of water just before bedtime like a dolt) and cramps in my legs (PMS).
I had to be up reasonably early this morning because the dog's trainer was coming at 10 and I had things I needed to do before then. It was a rough session for him - he's got fear-based aggression, and he's pretty much afraid of everything. He's a big boy (85 lbs). It is also only his second day wearing his muzzle outside. Even despite the extra treats he gets for wearing it, he still tries to get it off. And I have to stop him from trying, but it's tough - it is SO CUTE.
After training, I ate lunch and we took a nap. I am still sooo sluggish. I need to get out and do a good walk soon because the sky is turning gray. Also, I'm wasting my weekend. Yes, rest is good, but I've done zero social things this weekend and haven't done much of anything to create a happier life.
Meh. Well, yesterday I hit my walking goal, ate in range and achieved most of my nutrition goals. I weighed myself to find that I've lost a pound. Even with the end of the week going down the tubes, I still lost a pound. Awesome. Today, the calories are within range so far, but if I don't bust a move, the steps won't be.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Not a very good end to my week. Stress and PMS caught up with me on Thursday and Friday. I didn't track, and I didn't eat very well. Sweets. Not even ones that are worth the calories - not an indulgence, not even a treat. Just sugar. I'm putting a lot of energy today into not beating myself up about this. I'm learning about self-compassion and I'm going to stick with it.
It feels good to care about myself and to be forgiving.
I've been doing well with my steps, and today is slated to be one of those +10K days. It's beautiful out, the sun is shining, so it should be easy. Although, it is 11 a.m. and I'm already feeling the need for a nap. I've just taken the dog out for his morning sniff stroll of 1.5 miles, eaten a very good, high-fiber, high protein breakfast. The day is getting off to a good start.
This week was more or less "hell week" for me. An week of "employee appreciation" and a visit from the CEO. Unfortunately, I am not the focus of this appreciation. (Although I did get a rose and a lot of pats on the back.) It is my job to report on, and help make the appreciation happen. On Thursday, CEO day, I lost it.
I woke up feeling sluggish and unwell and was really anxious. That's when I gave in to the sugar. I decided it would be OK to let myself fall back on the sweet, sweet crystal crack serotonin booster just to get through the day. And then Friday... my brain went, "OK, back to the old unhealthy view of food!" and although I did better than Thursday, It wasn't a very healthy day.
It is Saturday and I have no other plans than to eat well and be active. And to clean the house a bit. I could really use an Alice right about now. The house is a mess, and I am ashamed to say, dirty.
I think I'm giving in to that nap though.
Tuesday, October 07, 2014
As I thought, I pretty much didn't get hungry again until around dinner time. Lucky me! I must have had enough protein to protect me from the sugar crash.
I knew that to get my protein for the day, I was going to have to eat a bunch of it for dinner. This gave me a 400 calorie dinner. And at the end of the day, I'm over calorie by 300. If I allowed Spark to add my fitness to my calorie count, I'd be fine.
So given my wild and reckless morning, I think I did OK. I got all the protein I needed for the day. While I'm not over in fat or salt, I was slightly over in carbs and woefully deficient in pretty much every other nutrient.
Thank goodness for vitamins! I'll be taking mine post-haste.
I feel like I should feel wildly guilty about this morning, but there's that new self-compassion again. I'm more focused on how I was able to hit the breaks, track my mess, and move on.
Or I'm in denial?
Was today a healthy day? No. But I've had mostly healthy days since I started tracking again. I guess I'm just happy to know that I know better, and that this morning's binge doesn't change the fact that I generally eat well.
Tuesday, October 07, 2014
It is 10:38 a.m. and I have 19-365 calories left for the day. At least that includes 31 grams of protein... but...er, 200 carbs.
Not sure what snapped this morning, but I just wasn't present. I'm a bit stressed, trying to relax.. and not paying attention to myself.
Look, it's a distinct possibility that I'm going to go at least a bit over calorie today, (Alhough lunch probably won't happen. It won't NEED to happen. I think it will be a while before I'm hungry again.) And OK, so an "eating with reckless abandon without regard to my health" day it is.
What bothers me most is the not-being-present-while-scarfing-down-suga
ry-treats thing. I've been so present, calm and even happy for many days in a row. I wonder what's different about today?
The good news is that I snapped out of it, and I'm not beating myself up - but I did stop scarfing. And now I have something to think about. "What happened?" Am I short of seratonin? Onward.
Monday, October 06, 2014
Lately, I’ve noticed the ads on Spark are becoming intrusive and inappropriate. Ads for diet fasts, “metabolic boost” bars, Snickers, fast food… “You can lose weight with this one ridiculous trick…”
I know Spark needs to make money – but this is a site about getting healthy. None of the above items are of any interest to me. I can deal with the Zulilly ads and products that might I might actually use. But I don’t want to see fast food, junk and false diet claims on here – it makes no sense.
Imagine the algorithm that cause these ads to be viewed on our computers – they see we want to lose weight and live healthy, and that we’re interested in food and are prone to making bad choices, if only here and there.
Sometimes the ads pop up over content, and the only way to get rid of the ad is to click a tiny X. I never manage to click that x and always get taken to some website I don’t want to see.
Anyone else annoyed by this?
I AM in a bit of a snit today, which is probably why I’m finally writing about this now, instead of a few weeks ago.
My progress is still coming along nicely. Food all packed and eaten at work today. Got out for a short walk before the inevitable rains.
I hope I can lighten my mood somehow – I don’t like this feeling.
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