Thursday, March 03, 2011
no painting, Mom to dentist
going to go get back on the treadmill for a second walk/jog
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Ok, so getting my blog for today done. Today was one of those " I can't get out of my own way today" days. Don't know what is making me feel this way, but there I have it, I just feel bitchy. Didn't help that I then was searching through pictures we have and all I could see is how very fat I am. I'm disgusted with myself. In my head I am never as big as the pictures prove I am. And yet, the first thing it makes me want to do it eat. And eat alot. I was already in a "mood" before I started the picture search, looking at pictures made it worse. I just want to scream, I want to scream, I want to scream. Sometime the frustration just gets to me. I remember the days when I was addicted to exercise and not food. I weighed all of 110lbs and went to the gym 6-7 times a weeks, for hours at a time. I feel like I should be able to switch back to that addiction. It certainly was healthier. I'd rather have to learn how to balance how much exercise I do and not how much food I have to eat. Shouldn't there just be a little switch somewhere in our brain we can flip? It seems to have flipped easy enough the other way. I know I didn't put it on overnight, and I know I can't take it off overnight. If it were that simple, as they say, then we would all be thin. I need patience. It's days like this that I really should be writing down all my blessings instead of my complaints. Just can't get out of my own way. Maybe I'll jump back on the treadmill. It will be alot better for me than the binge that is threatening me. The good news is I have no junk for at all in the house. The bad news is, when you really want to eat bad, you find a way. So, I think I'll go get on the treadmill for a second time today and work of some of this frustration.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Just a quick blog today. Had a successful eating and exercise day. Added 10 minutes onto my exercise and walked faster so that's good. No painting today. I got my hair done and headed to my Mom's to help her hang things on her bedroom walls. New remodel we are putting back together. Looks nice.
Tomorrow I'll try putting in extra time on the treadmill again. It will also be a painting day.
Ok, signing off. Exhausted today and just want to hit the couch.
Monday, February 28, 2011
11:02 pm. Tired and want to go to bed. Then the light bulb moment, and I remembered one of my goals for the week. Blog each day. So, here I am. It's going to be short and sweet. Hmmmm....sweet makes me hungry. No, I'll not cave in. I'll blog and go straight to bed.
Anyway, on a serious note, I did have a successful eating day. However, I was feeling like I wanted to prowl in the kitchen all day. I work from home, so the kitchen is real close. On days like this, it's not a good thing. I made it through. Talked myself out of eating chips I know my husband has stashed. I think some of that feeling of wanting to prowl and find something to eat came from frustration painting today. Some days everything clicks and I'm painting all day, and some days, like today, it was all just a struggle. From deciding what to paint, how I wanted to finish pieces near completion, and how i wanted to sketch out new drawings. Everything was a struggle. So, on the painting portion of my goal this week, today was in the dumps.
Exercising went well. I got it done nice and early. I was psyched thinking, "okay, now I'll have even more time to paint", laughs on me.
Well, three out of four. I'll take it. I'll be able to get some painting done tomorrow before and appointment and after I see my Mom. I'll look forward to better results. I'll keep my fingers crossed for extra luck. Hey, it's can't hurt. lol
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