MIAMI_LILLY   107,016
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MIAMI_LILLY's Recent Blog Entries

Self-Loathing has Left the Building

Monday, January 09, 2012

The Holidays were rough. I realized I have very little will power, if none at all. I made 10 varieties of Christmas cookies this year. I tried all 10. Several times. I also ate the following...
Roast pork
Lasagna (with garlic bread)
Cherry cheesecake
Pecan pie
Chocolate truffles
Peppermint bark
And I think I may have developed a Nutella addiction . Spread that stuff on Graham crackers and I'm a happy girl. The outcome? I gained 3.5 pounds the last time I checked. I haven't checked since Friday. Have I forgiven myself? I'll even go as far as to say it was worth it. I enjoyed everything I ate. I also never stopped working out. My pants fit the same. So I set myself back a little. I lost those pounds once, I'll lose them again. I am so past the "ugh...I ate too much, and all the wrong I have to beat myself up". That woman is gone. I'm in a much better place. I look in the mirror, and like what I see. I have accomplished great things. "Self-loathing has left he building!"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCRAPPYLADYV 1/10/2012 1:06PM

    Awesome!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

I know what you mean about nutella - I can't have it in the house, I'll eat the whole jar.

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GABRIELLEVA 1/10/2012 9:06AM

    Great attitude! Glad you have been able to find a healthy balance between indulging and still being sensible with exercise :)

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TMW54812 1/9/2012 2:41PM

    In loosing 100 lbs you have made your own are beautiful! It sounds like you are back on track with a healthy lifestyle again, so look forward...the future is full of promise! emoticon

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RAINEMARIE214 1/9/2012 12:43PM

    I feel like over-indulging around the holidays is normal. I would be a much more miserable girl if I sat around during the holidays and watched everyone else enjoy themselves while I probably hated myself because I couldnt eat that stuff. You did the right thing and you exercised regularly! :)

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MAPLECANDY3 1/9/2012 12:27PM

    Overindulging during special occasions is a very normal thing to do! emoticon on not feeling badly about it!

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THEHONESTME 1/9/2012 12:15PM

    I LOVE this!! Congrats to you for not beating yourself up. It's just as important to enjoy a treat (or two) once in awhile as it is to stick to your plan when there aren't temptations around. Ya done good :)

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100 Pounds: Lessons, Regrets, and Hypothyroidism

Sunday, December 11, 2011

So here I am. It took me 1 year, 10 months, and 10 days to get here. I'm not at my goal just yet, but this is definitely a huge milestone for me. At times, I thought I'd never get here. But now that I've made it this far, I'm so glad I've stuck it out, through all the plateaus, the gains on the scale, the times when chocolate chip cookies got the best of me...I could go on and on.

Normally, I don't DO regrets. After all, every mistake is an opportunity to learn, and prevent yourself from remaking the same mistake. However, I find I do have one. I never took a "before" pic. Why? I think it's because I have tried so many times to lose all this weight, and met failure time and time again. I suppose I just didn't believe in my heart, that this time would be different. So why take a "before" when "after", I'll just look the same. Then once I really started losing weight, but not my motivation, it was too late, because any photo I took wouldn't show the actual me before. But I did do one thing right...I saved my old jeans. They are keepers. Here's me, fitting in one leg:

And here's me in both:

It's funny, but I was told not to expect too much. Having hypothyroidism makes it harder to lose weight. "Focus on fitness and your health, not your size, or the number on the scale". I think the more I thought I couldn't really get where I wanted to be, it made me try harder. It made me experiment on things that work for me. For me, the weight stopped coming off until I decided to drop the carbs. Do I love potatoes? MY gosh, YES! I think my Polish heritage has potatoes coursing through my veins. But I like the new me more.

I also went to the doctor when I first moved down to Miami. I needed a new Rx for my thyroid meds. It was 10 years ago, but it feels like it was yesterday. I pick this general practitioner out of the yellow pages and he asks me "How do you feel"? I tell him, "Fine, but my feet are really swollen since I got here." He tells me "Well, of course they are. Look at how much you weigh. Get yourself good health insurance, and I'll see that you can get gastric bypass surgery. I've seen it all my life. People like yourself, no matter how hard you try, you'll never be the weight you're supposed to be." Every time I run on the treadmill, I see that idiot's face. It inspires me.

I have about 14 pounds to go on this journey. And then it will be a lifetime of maintenance. Bring it on!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOGETTERME 12/25/2011 8:07PM

    Great blog! You look amazing! I laughed about the potato reference. I'm Irish and I love potatoes!

I also have hypothyroidism and could so relate. It is much harder for us but not impossible by a long shot!

I also agreed that every failure is an opportunity to learn.

You are officially a success story to me! That jean pic was amazing! Good for you! You are so beautiful inside and out.


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THENEWDARLENE 12/24/2011 9:33PM

    emoticon Congratulations on your 100 pound loss!


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THEHONESTME 12/19/2011 8:34PM

    Renee, Renee, Renee!!! OMG!!! Look at you! You are amazing! I've been really bad about reading blogs these last couple of weeks, and look at what I missed! You look super and you look happy! I'm happy for you!!!!

Love the story about the idiot doctor - too cute!

YOU ROCK and give me hope and inspiration.

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SCRAPPYLADYV 12/17/2011 7:08PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

At least that Dr. was good for something. LOL!

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RICHILA 12/12/2011 8:15PM

    I love the fact that you are living well! Spark On! You Got This!

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SCHENPOSSIBLE 12/12/2011 12:07AM

    Good on you! I'm glad you're so close to your goal. You're glowing in that picture. You can see your collarbones! Awesome work girlfriend!

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STARRPARENT 12/11/2011 9:14PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MAMAJENC 12/11/2011 2:11PM

    Woohoo! Congrats on the 100! I have hypothyroid too and have been scared that no matter how I try it won't work but I am fighting now! I am not paying much attention to the scale and just exercising and eating right! You are an inspiration to me! and the doctor! What a d bag! Well off to the gym in a few!

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RAINEMARIE214 12/11/2011 12:12PM

    Congratulations!!! You look AMAZING!!! And you did it all on your own!! You should be so proud of yourself x 1000!!!

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ZANDRAAK 12/11/2011 11:20AM

  Wow absolutely fantastic! It's people like you and SO many others here on sparkpeople that are shouting the worlds that we CAN do it by hard work and without surgery! emoticon

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Trusting Your Gut

Friday, October 14, 2011

I had my annual physical. I went for the blood work over a week ago, and the office called about 2 days later with good news. Everything checked out great. All my numbers are good, including my thyroid. My thyroid is what made me visit the doctor to begin with. Having hypothyroidism for 12 years now, I know when something's a little off. Naps become almost a necessity to make it through the entire day. I was surprised when they told me my TSH numbers were good. I have been busting my butt to drop pounds, but they just haven't been coming off, so I blamed the ol' plateau.

That was, until today, when I sat down with the doctor to go over the results. Turns out, my TSH was close to 5. I used to be a .5. Little number but it explains alot. My need for naps hasn't been in my head. So my doc upped my meds. Woohoo! More energy soon to come (if you consider 2 weeks soon). But it gives hope that I will reach my goal weight one day.

So the other numbers weren't as impressive as I thought they'd be. Here are some:

Blood pressure...awesome improvement, from needing meds, to no meds, and having a reading of 112/68 today.

Triglycerides...Originally about 4 years ago, they were 277. Today I am at 166. Still too high, but I am 17 points away from normal.

HDL...Good improvement. From 30 to 59.

LDL...Not good enough. Still at 110, and I should be under 100.

Total Cholesterol...from 202, to 202. No change. You would think almost 100 pounds off and routine exercise, that would be lower. But it's not bad enough for meds. Maybe I'll cut down on the red meat.

In general, I am a much healthier woman than I was 2 years ago, and hopefully, I'll continue on the same path I'm on. I LOVE, the new me. Cheers to good health. If you don't have that, everything else is worthless.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LISA_MORRIS 4/30/2012 7:36AM

  you want to know a good trick to get down cholesterol? (my grandfather has arteriole-schlerosis. His cholesterol caused it..(to clog the arteries etc and he's had 2 bypass surgeries already).

He drinks COPIOUS amounts of vitamin C...(you get 2 components, of which ascorbic acid is one part - the part that gives you a runny stomach by drinking to much OJ) BUT you get a supplement (in SA we have a company called Metabole who produces's called the Big CEEEE) my gramps drank 12000mg per day!! and his arteries are clean..his cholesterol is down a WHOLE lot and the doctors "don't know why why? because of the vitamin C. Now doctors will tell you that your body only aborbs what it needs and it excretes the rest. that's why there's a RDA..but you (having high cholesterol)'s vitamin C needs will be SO much higher than the average person (upon which they base RDA) stock up and try it. Your body will absorb all the vitamin C it needs and excrete the rest, so it will not harm you.

Doctors will try to convince you otherwise because they make money off you everytime you go back. (the money's not in the cure, it's in the comeback).

Also don't just have your TSH tested (Ask them to test your Free T3 and T4 levels too as well as your antibodies - for your hypothyroidism). You may very well need other types of medication as well. I will assume you already know a lot about the thyroid seeing as you have had hypothyroidism for 12 mom's had it for about 30 years..and she only found out after 22 years that she needed to test all the other levels as well.

And her motto is: when a doctor tells her her TSH is normal, she insist on the count..because she feels if "normal range" is between 0 and 5...and hers is 4 what can she do to bring it down to 0? Because at 0 she feels better.

FYI: T3 and T4 help control your body's metabolism. it is of UTMOST importance to have that tested if you haven't already done so already. The usual TSH test will NOT do the trick. That only tells you if it's functioning right or not. In your case it isn't. so find out WHY it isn't it because of T3 or T4?

My mother has hypothyroidism AS well as Hashimoto's thyroiditus. (so have your antibodies tested as told my mum the normal range for antibodies should be i THINK..(i stand corrected) between 10 and 100? not too sure, very long ago..what i DO remember is my mother's count was 254 000!!!! her body was attacking her thyroid. resulting in depression, obesity, and SO many other medical problems INCLUDING high cholesterol. She is now on Eltroxin, Tertroxin and a whole hand full of homeopathic remedies. She lost over 80 pounds and her hair loss has stopped..her cholesterol has come down, her nails aren't brittle anymore and she no longer feels suicidal.

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 10/16/2011 10:50PM

    I'm quite impressed by your numbers. The HDL improvement is utterly amazing! Good for your!

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SCRAPPYLADYV 10/15/2011 11:31PM

    I understand those hypo issues. I'm glad that they are adjusting your meds. as for the rest emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TMW54812 10/14/2011 2:26PM

    You have accomplished what most who struggle with excess weight seldom have changed your life style from unhealthy to heathy. The numbers will take care of themselves( with a little help from your Dr.).
Keep up the great work! emoticon

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THEHONESTME 10/14/2011 12:16PM

    I think your results are great! Glad they can up your meds on for the thyroid and get that # better. My cholesterol is high, too, even when I'm eating clean and working out. I think it's an inherited thing... some things you just can't change with diet. 202 isn't terrible, though, so you're doing everything right! Keep up the good work!

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KIRCHNG 10/14/2011 11:48AM

    Congratulations!! It is so wonderful to see the results of your hard work- not just the smaller clothes, but the real results of better health. Keep up the good work!

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RAINEMARIE214 10/14/2011 11:37AM

    I have naturally high cholesterol too, and my triglycerines are high - not high enough for meds, but still high. Apparently it is hereditary. When I was in law school my total cholesteral was actually up around 275!! I only weighed 135lbs! Granted, I was skinny fat, but still. I dont understand cholesterol or anything like that - I just keep track of how much cholesterol I consume, and I've noticed according to my blood tests that when I am exercising regularly, my cholesterol is lower (though still high) as opposed to when I am living the sedentary life (aka law school)!

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Discovering Success

Saturday, August 13, 2011

I usually join these Biggest Loser Challenges every season, and I'm always successful. I've lost between 7-14 pounds during that 10 week period. This summer I expected the same results. Needless to say, I've been disappointed. We're just days away from ending the challenge and I've lost about 2 pounds.

Two pounds in 10 weeks.

I really did try everything. I increased cardio, changed my routine, increased strength training, cut back on calories, tried eating a little name it, I did it.

I did not realize my success until I went back to school shopping for my kids yesterday. I was at Kohl's and saw this Simply Vera jeans on the clearance rack. They were only $14 so I decided to try on a size smaller. (MY husband has been telling me the back of my old jeans makes my rear-end look really sad). I couldn't believe I fit into a 12. I haven't been a size 12 since I was 19. I was so excited I also bought myself this dress. If you know me ( and I realize most of you don't), I don't DO dresses. When I married my husband, I wore a pant suit. (It was very casual). But it was this butterfly-cut, loose, a little-above-the-knee, sexy dress and I looked totally cute in it. (Now this leads me to the excuse of needing a new pair of shoes to go with, but that's ok).

So for all those that get really hung up with that number they see on the scale, and let it determine their mood for the day, and everything else...stop.

If I let that dumb number frustrate me, I could have given up entirely. Instead, I am 1 size away from my goal. And nothing feels better than that. Well, maybe actually reaching that goal. But that gives me something to look forward to.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AVILLARREAL82 10/8/2011 4:11AM

    This is very inspiring!

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THEHONESTME 8/22/2011 10:25PM

    YAAAAAAYYYY!!!!! Way to go, Renee!! I'm so happy for you!
See me doing the happy dance?! This is terrific news and you're so right - I need to learn that lesson - the scale can't keep dictating my moods and I need to look to the NSV's -- heck, as of this moment, I'd take ANY victory - Non-scale or otherwise! Thanks for motivating me.

LOVE your new profile pic, btw!
Very pretty

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GOGETTERME 8/13/2011 10:55AM

    My scale and I have a love/hate relationship. I have also come to find the number on the scale isn't a good measure of success especially as you are building muscle and toning up. Somehow I fit in 8s at 155. Even as a shorty girl.

Good for you and enjoy that dress! You earned it girl!

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JNK125 8/13/2011 10:27AM

    I am SO PROUD of you!! This is so exciting!! You're so right to remind people that the numbers on the scale often times don't tell the whole story. I too struggle with this because I work out soo hard and the scale barely moves down or in most cases goes back UP! The important thing to take from all this is that you are doing amazing things for yourself and have come so far on your journey. I'm so honored to be a periwinkle with you! Enjoy your new clothes!!

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Please Explain...There Must Be a Purpose

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

I had a long rant this morning that made me feel so much better.

One peave I had was gym etiquette, and how some people lack it. This isn't really etiquette, it just annoys me. Can someone please explain to me why there are some women that put the incline really steep, and then walk backwards really really slow? I ask because there must be a purpose. I just can't figure it out. I honestly can't rememebr the last time I came across a mountain, and said to myself, "hmm... I think I'm gonna walk up this baby backwards".

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOTRODSANDY 5/5/2011 1:22AM

    Love it!

Glad there's a purpose.

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TREEBELLA 4/8/2011 10:49PM

    The treadmills at our last gym would go back to a start menu and presumable original settings whenever you were finished using it. The people that annoyed me were the ones that forgot to wipe down their machines and use some of the disinfectant provided.

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TREEBELLA 4/8/2011 10:48PM

    Its called keeping it interesting. I don't like steep inclines though lol.

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GOGETTERME 4/7/2011 8:35PM

    You crack me up! I better understand now why someone would do that. I didn't at first either. I can't imagine doing it myself. I think I might fall over, if not I would just feel silly and very self conscious.

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SCHENPOSSIBLE 4/6/2011 10:42PM

    Walking backwards on an incline is good for your gluettes, hamstrings, calves and all the muscles on your backside that doesn't get much attention.

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THEHONESTME 4/6/2011 9:52PM

    LOL!!!!!! You make me laugh!
Some day I hope we can meet and we'll walk up a mountain together -- BACKWARDS!!!

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    I am an OT and know that my PT counterparts use this strategy to work the gluts and hamstrings. That aside, the ladies really should return the treadmill to the starting position for the next user. Not to is just plain RUDE!

Your wallpaper is the baddest, BTW...

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DYA177 4/6/2011 8:58PM

    Lol, I was thinking the same thing the other day. I mean I understand walking frontward, it's a great calorie burner and you really feel it in your legs, but BACKWARDS? First of all, I can't even walk straight backwards and then I will think about falling all the time.

Nope, not for me.

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