MIAMI_LILLY   106,400
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Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I began my journey on February 3rd, 2010. I joined Spark 3 days later, on my birthday. It was my goal to reach one-derland in a year. It seemed attainable. I needed to drop 72 pounds. But I was giving myself plenty of time to do it.
Or so I thought.
Because now, I am just 1.5 weeks away from my 1 year Sparkversary. And I'm stranded on this plateau. I feel like I'm standing on flat ground in the middle of the Grand Freakin' Canyon. And for three weeks, I'm standing there doing everything to find my way off, and I keep failing. I'm waving my arms, and no one rescues me. I work out harder, longer, and doubled my strength training. I watch everything I eat. I never, ever go out of my calorie range. And guess what? Still here.
It has to be the most frustrating, irritating place to be. I'm angry. I keep telling myself to stay strong. Giving myself pep talks. I'm driving my hubby nuts. He's giving me pep talks.
And I'm well aware of all that I've achieved. I've done well. I feel great. Plenty of energy. More self confidence. I'm happier. And I'm healthier. But it's not one-derland. And I may not get my birthday present on time. It stinks.

Sorry for the self-pity rant but it makes me feel better. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCRAPPYLADYV 1/28/2011 2:33AM

    emoticonDon't give up. You are doing all the right things and your scale will eventually reflect it. Concentrate on the positives and how much you have accomplished. You WILL get there!!

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JENNIFERKCM 1/27/2011 11:33PM

    If ranting helps you, then rant away! Now, I know you don't want to hear it...but try to enjoy the Grand Canyon while you are there. It's beautiful and spectacular. There is a great river you can only really view while you are in the canyon, and I hear the sunrise and sunset are spectacular. My point aren't gaining, your body is getting healthier and stronger, and when you finally get out of will be able to look back at it and appreciate the journey. Have you tried anything different outside of exercise? Have you adjusted your caloric intake as you have lost weight? I know I like to cycle my calories when I feel stuck...high, low, etc. It's supposed to rev up your metabolism and keep your body guessing. I'm also trying to get into the same thing with working out...Intervals I think is the correct work...upping and downing my pace to keep my body guessing. Shoot, I'm still trying to figure out what works! Just keep at it. Your body is gonna have to give those pounds up eventually, right?! Hang in there. I know, that suck, but try anyway! Persistence pays! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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THENEWDARLENE 1/26/2011 1:48PM

    emoticon I'm sorry you're having a hard time on a plateau right now. The scale can be incredibly frustrating. I know you are being consistent and doing all the right things, and I say to just keep it up. You know that you are making healthy choices, even if the scale isn't moving. I have read some good blogs and Spark articles that talk about dealing with a plateau or share how other people broke through. You may want to read some of those things if you haven't already. I hope you get your birthday present!

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TEDDYTEDDY 1/26/2011 11:27AM

    I had a really hard time getting into one-derland when I lost weight from 285 to seemed I went on and one hovering just above the 200 mark....I finally decided it might be a mental block and just keeped on doing what I was doing when I lost the first 85 lb.....and finally it happened.

I would like to say I kept off the weight ever since then but have had a lot of health issues with about 5 surgeries....and many other issues which have taken me "off track."

I am back over 200 and I am breaking my weight loss into manageable chunks of 10 lbs at a time otherwise it seems impossible when I look at the final goal.....

Perhaps you could work on 5 lb blocks of weight or even 1 lb....

Just a thought...and I need to take my own advice, too!!!!


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Safety Net

Thursday, January 13, 2011

I'm sure my closet looks like like so many others. I am the anti-hoarder. That is most likely because my grandmother is a hoarder, keeping things like a thousand plastic supermarket bags, empty cake boxes, jars, shoes that don't fit, food that's not fit to eat, etc. Growing up watching that behavior made me hate saving anything.

Except clothes in my closet.

For years, I held onto my "skinny clothes". They were jeans mostly, that I hadn't worn in over a decade. Yet I couldn't get rid of them. It felt like I was throwing in the towel completely. Then there were my "fat clothes". At some point, I no longer had fat clothes, because they were the only clothes that fit. Then I joined Spark.
The clothes that were my every day clothes were now my fat clothes again. And the collection started growing. Soon my closet (which is a walk-in, btw) was half full of fat clothes. And it got me thinking that maybe the security of having fat clothes helped me fail in the past. I mean, they are a safety net...gain the weight back, and you still have clothes.

So I started pulling out everything that was over a size 18. And I mean everything. The piles on my bed came chest-high. I looked at those piles, and the money I had to be well over a thousand dollars. And I almost had a panic attack. I gave it all away to a dear friend of mine. She has a whole new wardrobe. And I'm out of my safety net.

It's scary. But I'll be damned if I go out and buy fat clothes again. From here on in, my pants get tight, I need to get moving.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADDYSGETTINFIT 2/17/2011 12:07PM

    I know this is a little old... but congratulations. I'm usually not so sappy... but I actually have a tear in my eye reading this blog post.

Thanks for the inspiration. emoticon

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AHICKS30 1/13/2011 11:47PM

    good for you! oddly enough, that does take courage, but isn't that what this journey is all about? Moving boldly can do it, sista!! emoticon

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SCHENPOSSIBLE 1/13/2011 9:53PM

    Gotta get rid of the old to make room for the new. You're brand new girlfriend and you've gotten rid of that safety net.. Hopefully for some sexy fish nets! Congrats!

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Operation Christmas Cookie

Friday, December 24, 2010

On the evening of the December 22nd, I did something I didn't think people did anymore. I went Christmas Caroling. My preacher called, and wanted to go to the homes of a few church members that were either elderly or had families with small children and couldn't get out. My 11 year-old daughter was confused by this. She asked "So we're walking all the way to the Rubinos"? They are the closest to us, at about 3 miles away. I laughed, and explained her vision of people walking door to door was outdated. We now go caravan style, driving from one point to the other. I don't think Norman Rockwell could ever have envisioned families in their SUVs driving in Miami bumper-to-bumper traffic to sing "Joy to the World".

So first stop...the Rubinos. Sweetest couple you could ever meet. They are my children's substitute great-grandparents. Lora made pecan sandies, buckeyes, chocolate covered marshmallows, and chocolate chip cookies.

Next stop was the Chin family. The mother-in-law had heart surgery not long ago. Most of us are gringos and we tried to sing a carol in Spanish for them (it should have been recorded and put on YouTube). Eva had a marble pound cake.

Last stop, was the Kinnairds. I love them. Leah works way too many hours, but she managed to bring home a platter of buckeyes (again), lemon bars, coconut macaroons, butterscotch haystacks, and bourbon balls.

This experience made me learn something about myself. I have real issues with cookies. I could have a huge chocolate layer cake in front of me, and not be tempted at all. But the idea of this little you have one, that triggers you to just "try" another. And another. And yes, another. And you get home and realize you ate 5 1/2 cookies and a bourbon ball. And how many calories were all those? Who knows.

So now I have planned Operation Christmas Cookie. It means I procrastinated the baking of my holiday treats as long as I could. And now, on the day of Christmas Eve, I'm baking my buns off, so that I can give them away at church at 6 pm tonight. I already "tried" half of a white chocolate macadamia. It was good. I will do my best to let my kids try the rest to let me know if they turned out right. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AHICKS30 1/14/2011 12:00AM

    Girl....I think I ate 150 cookies this season (no joke)....My entire dining table was covered and I know I ate more cookies than my 3, 6, and 37 year old combined!!! Next year Operation Christmas Cookie will be my motto too!

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SCRAPPYLADYV 1/2/2011 12:33AM

    I am sure you were a wonderful blessing to all of those families!!

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GOGETTERME 12/26/2010 9:00PM

    Christmas caroling by minivan in Miami is a little funny. That was so sweet of you. Don't worry too much about the cookies. I'm the same way. I don't like cakes or pies but I ate my share of my homemade gingerbread this year. I'm also a real sucker for Italian pastries. Good thing I can't find any decent ones here in Florida or I'm afraid I would have a lot more difficult of a time losing weight.

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Keep it Up

Thursday, October 28, 2010

This journey has been long. I know that etch day, I grow stronger, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Making good choices is almost natural now, and the craving for most things bad for me are gone. The reactions I get are so positive. I love when I run into someone that hasn't seen me since I started, and their jaws drop. I don't think there's a comment that I've heard that hasn't made me beam, or smile ear to ear. Well, except one....

"Keep it Up"

Now, maybe that phrase is said with the best intentions. But I think not. It's like giving a compliment, but getting in a dig at the same time. You wouldn't say things like, "Wow, you're looking good, but you still have a ways to go", or "Gee, you are so much less fat, but you're still fat". So why would you say "Keep it up"? Like, who are they to tell me I need to keep going? Are they going to one day say, "Hmm, I think you can stop losing now", as if their opinion matters. Whenever I hear that annoying phrase, I keep thinking of the perfect comeback, but it still evades me. If you can think of one, run it by me. It's always the same person, and I'd love to stick it right in her "green with envy" face.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AHICKS30 1/13/2011 11:55PM

    well...i'm sure i'm in the minority here, but I think when someone says "keep it up" they don't necessarily mean you still have work to do. I think it's an encouraging way to say you're doing awesome! Most people know how difficult it is to get healthy and stay there...."keep it up"" is a way to say "you go girl"! Just a thought.....;)

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SENORAHACHE 1/3/2011 4:52PM

    oops, I think I told you to "Keep it up" on my last comment. Sorry!

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THEHONESTME 11/20/2010 9:01PM

    People can be so thoughtless with their words. I remember a lady who had made her goal saying to me once that I looked good and she wished me luck with keeping the weight off. I said, well, I guess it's do-able, you've done it (giving her a compliment since she had given me one). Her response... yeah, but I work at it every day!
DUH!!!! Like I didn't know I was gonna have to work at it or what she didn't think I had it in me to continue to work at it?? Bug off lady! Go annoy someone else! HAHA
Thanks for bringing back that memory! It used to make me mad, now it makes me laugh! SHE was a jerk! emoticon

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NEURONURSING 10/28/2010 1:11PM

    How about handing her the sparkpeople web site address and saying something like ... I think it could do wonders for you! something like that... tee hee

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Too Big

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

It was just 7 months ago that I joined Spark, and the title of my blog would be in reference to waist, my thighs, and please don't forget the hips. My hips were huge. I believe I measured them at 60 inches (and that was a month after beginning this journey). I couldn't even fit into a seat in the auditorium at my son's school. Well, I could, but I literally had to squeeze myself in there, and I hurt as I sat.

Now, "too big" means something else entirely. I can see it. I stare in the mirror sometimes. I am like Lily Tomlin in The Incredible Shrinking Woman. (Ok..a little extreme).

Too big are almost every pair of pants I own (except 1, that I love).
Too big are almost all my t-shirts, which look stretched and misshapen (probably because I used to stretch them out on purpose to hide my spare tires).
Too big is my bathing suit, which feels loose even with all the lycra it contains.
Too big are my panties. I can't wait for the day I can chuck all the "Just My Size" undies out the window, and go on a shopping spree at Victoria Secret.
Too big is my watch band, which I'm now using 2 holes smaller.
And lastly, too big is my wedding band that almost slipped off last night when washing my face and fell down the drain.

I admit, I'm hoping my cup size does not become "too big" as well, but if it does, so be it. I never thought the words "too big" would feel so good.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SENORAHACHE 1/3/2011 4:49PM

    Loved your blog post! I'm hoping the year 2011 is my "Too Big " year, too! Keep it up!

~Annie in SC emoticon

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DLSHANKS 10/25/2010 3:47AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Wow! I felt like I was reading my own thoughts! You just beat me at getting it down on paper LOL

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BNSPIRD 9/18/2010 1:37PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

You are amazing!! and so right... "too big" is awesome when you are on the right end of it!! I just went through all my drawers and my closet and got rid of a LOT of "too big" things!! and ones that even when I had lost lots of weight before, still fit me! so I'm really excited! and especially for you!

Keep going honey! You are doing amazing!! I love celebrating!!

Comment edited on: 9/18/2010 1:37:41 PM

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TUBJUMPER 9/9/2010 12:42PM

    Great blog!

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TANNERS 9/9/2010 12:07PM

    If only we could choose the too big places, ya know? This was a great blog and congrats for taking a second to bask in all of your success. Keep us posted w/ all the new too bigs!!

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EDOWNEY1972 9/8/2010 10:34PM

    SOOO awesome! I love how you put it. Congratulations on your success!

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JODISPARKS 9/8/2010 9:54PM

    Wonderfully inspiring - Thank You!

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RLHOTAN 9/8/2010 8:25PM

    That is just awesome!!!!

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GOGETTERME 9/8/2010 7:41PM

    Good for you. Keep up the hard work!

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TWOTIMESS 9/8/2010 4:13PM

    emoticon emoticon

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MOVINITMORE 9/8/2010 12:24PM

    Great job !!! Too big is a nice reward. emoticon

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THENEWDARLENE 9/8/2010 12:13PM

    Great blog. I know you are enjoying this "too big" feeling now. You've come a long way. Keep up all the hard work. It's really paying off.

Congratulations on your weight loss to date, too.

emoticon emoticon

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BBSHOPBASS 9/8/2010 11:32AM

    Good for you!!!

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WENDIBIRD25 9/8/2010 11:31AM

This is awesome!!! Keep up the good work!!!

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KERPER79 9/8/2010 11:29AM

    Amazing insight. Congrats!!!

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HEALTHY-BEAR 9/8/2010 11:28AM

    OUTSTANDING!! I love it!!

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