Wednesday, November 12, 2014
I have not written a blog in ages...almost 5 months, to be exact. I've sat down in front of my computer so many times, and just couldn't bring myself to write anything. I think there are a few reasons why but the one that sticks out the most is my weight gain.
When you lose a significant amount of weight, it is always done with the intention you'll never go back to your old habits or your old weight. I was so sure of my lifestyle and new habits, I donated all my clothes that were over a size 12. But what do you do when a medical condition is mostly to blame for your weight gain? Does it hurt any less? Are you more forgiving of yourself? Short answer...not always.
My closet is full of jeans I can't breathe in when I put them on. Or ones I can't get on at all. I was left feeling really down. My thyroid got the best of me. My TSH numbers have been all over the place this past year. Here I am, training for my first half marathon, and I couldn't run 2 miles. And I keep thinking, "if I could just lose the 20 pounds I've gained, I could run so much faster". It has taken me months to accept the fact that these pounds, no matter what I do, will not come off. And I cannot run as fast as I used to. I used to run a 10.5 minute mile. That was my peak and I will not see that again any time soon. I am no longer a size 10/12. I am now a 14. That was one of the hardest things I've had to do, was buy bigger jeans. Just as hard was weighing in on Monday and actually updating my ticker. No more lying to myself, and everyone else out there. I am 5 pounds away from leaving Onderland, and I will fight like hell to never return.
What I've learned from accepting the negatives, is that the positives become so much more sweeter. I can't run a mile in 10 1/2minutes. It takes me 12. But every week, I'm running further. So what if I can't finish my first half marathon in 2 hours? I'M GOING TO FINISH A HALF MARATHON, PEOPLE!! That's 13.1 miles! And I could never have imagined that when I was 275 pounds!
My doctor asked me if my pulse was always this slow. My resting heart rate is like, 53 beats per minute! That is amazing. When I was morbidly obese, my resting heart rate was over 90. That's scary.
And I'm not a size 10. But I'm not a size 24 either!
So I'm going to thank God for the body He gave me, and accept the fact it's not perfect on the outside, but it's close to perfect on the inside. And it's allowing me to do things I never thought was possible.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Don't you hate it when you have the motivation just oozing out of yourself, but keep getting sidetracked by life ciircumstances?
Three weeks ago, I had a somewhat-terrible upper respiratory infection. I say "somewhat terrible" because I've suffered through worse, but nonetheless, it's hard to do cardio, when your head feels like it may implode, and you cough so hard, you may bring up a lung.
As soon as that ended, and I was almost fully recovered, I was hit with a toothache. I chipped a tooth about a half a year ago on an atomic fireball and hasn't bothered me until last week. And if you've ever had a toothache from a top tooth, you may know that it's not just that tooth that aches, but literally, your entire face, and the pain kinda drifts up to the top of your skull. Not nice. Once I recovered from that nightmare I got....
whatever the heck decided to sting me on my ankle. I was getting into my van on Sunday wearing sandals. I felt a bite from a very small black bug (I don't even know what it was but I'm guessing some kind of spider). That night my foot was swollen, but not too bad. In the morning I awoke to a foot doubled in size, hot , and itchy. And the redness...it looked like I was wearing a red sock pulled up a third of the way up my leg. I took a variety of measures, but by the evening it felt like it had its own heartbeat, so I decided to go to urgent care. They gave me a shot of steroids and antibiotics and some benedryl and sent me home with presciptions for more of the same. Oh and direct orders to stay off my feet until it's completely better. Worst news for a runner. I missed crossfit yeasterday and most likely will miss run club tomorrow.
I am trying to decrease my calories a bit seeing I'm not burning any. The sooner this boot heals, the better.
Tuesday, April 01, 2014
I am setting a goal for myself to lose at least 5 pounds this month. I am still carrying around the 15 pounds I've gained, and I want it gone. My day has been crazy busy. So far today I've:
1. Got my 3 girls off to school
2. Ran 2 miles
3. Showered and went to Petco for puppy food. When we got her 2.5 weeks ago, she weighed 2 lbs., 11 oz. Today she weighs 7. She's eating me out of house and home.
4. Went to the Vitamin Shoppe and over paid for protein bars. But it was kinda worth it because they had awesome flavors I've never seen before.
4. Went to Walmart. Had to get the usual household supplies, and then I went nuts buying my girls Easter candy. May God keep me away from the robin's eggs...please.
5. Went to get an estimate on putting an a/c compressor on my 1996 van. So the mechanic tells me he can put in a rebuilt one, plus a new blower motor for $370. But he can't guarantee it. He said it's like "putting on a new outfit, crapping in it, and then changing your clothes without showering". What does that mean???
6. Then went to Costco, Apparently, the last time I was there, a Costco employee voided my membership card because it's my hubby's card, and he wasn't with me, so I would have to get someone to help me validate my membership the next time I came....which was today.
7. Put away a ton of groceries, and now I have to cook dinner, and help my little one with her homework.
I didn't even get to eat my lunch until 3:30. If I could stay this busy every day, I could easily reach my goal.
Friday, March 28, 2014
I've had tons of reasons for not working out. If I could get paid for creating excuses, I'd be a wealthy woman right now. My motivation has a tendency to come and go, and lately, it has been way gone. But for 2 weeks now I have used this creature as my main excuse:
At 4 weeks old, we took her in, and she became public enemy no.1. Yeah, yeah, she's cute..adorable even, but don't let that fat tummy and yummy face fool you. She is a poop machine. And she could not be left alone. If I caged her to go workout, she would bark, and whine, and wake the others still sleeping. So it makes sense that I would have to skip my exercise sessions to babysit. I mean, what I could I do?
I know. You don't have to tell me how pathetic it is to blame the cutest puppy in the world for not getting my lazy rear end off the couch. She's close to being housebroken, so once she eats and poops, I wll be headed out for a Saturday run, and blame the baby no longer.
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