MIAJOEB   191,332
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Thoughts of grief

Sunday, December 18, 2011

1. disbelief: Oh no this is not happening to me!
2. Confusion, forgetfulness
3. Preoccupation or Obsessive thinking.
4. Finality. It will never be the same.
5. Anger; it is not fair
6. If only.... I wish...
7. Forsing solutions and hasty decisions
8. "Paranormal experiences"
9. Dread of more painful things to come.
10. Thoughts of doom and finallity.

not all these thoughts come but I must be aware that the others around me sharing the loss may have some I do not.. Being kind to others at this time may be the secret.
There is no right way to mourn.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETDONE 12/20/2011 1:36PM

    There is no right way to mourn is so true--we all do it in our own way--yet it is much the same. We go through the stages at a different speed and we will survive this. With God all things are possible.

Hugs, Mary

I just noticed the message about a walk with you and Viv--it would be fun so let me know when the next one is.

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BEVSMOSS 12/18/2011 12:37PM


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Normal grief experiences

Sunday, December 18, 2011

1. Stomach, holloness butterfies, hunger, nausea, loss of appetite
2. Chest, throat: Pain, tightness breathlessness
3. dry mouth, increased perspiration
4 shakiness
5. headach
6. Lack of energy;overall weakness
7. Overly sensitive to noise
8. Sense of dpersonalization: Nothing seems real
9. Same physical symptoms as deceased's illness.

It takes a little while to get in touch with how my body is reacting to my loss.
The only way to get through grief is by watching for the Behaviors.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNUZSUZ 12/19/2011 6:58PM

    My prayers are with you!

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MISS_VIV 12/18/2011 9:45AM

    Thank you so much for posting these behaviors.
It is bound to help many who are going through similar times. You have been hit pretty hard with all of them. I am so sorry for the losses you have experienced in the past few months. I just know that you are very strong, faith centered and a wonderful friend, mom and daughter. There is a spot you will reach where you just seem to turn a corner and all the tightness and sorrow will step aside and let you shine your light again.

My thoughts and prayers continue for you and your family.

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Accept the reality of the loss

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

As I accept that things will never be the same I look to old comforts that include sleeping more and eating sweet and salty foods with little nutrition and many calories. Escaping into TV, the computer or reading. Nothing that makes me move. Having to encourage myself away from those activities. I am still here and my mother and my lovely friend are not. I feel guilty for the days that my food obsession kept me from being with them.
I feel guilty for the times I slept rauther than make that phone call or walked across the steet. So today I forgive myself for my past actions and resolve to Accept that I need to learn to nurture my self in ways that are different.. I am active and have more people in my life. I will be conscous of my goals to love the people who are alive and want to be friends with me today.. I will accept the invitations to friendship and love as they present themselves to me today..

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETDONE 12/10/2011 11:53PM

    I am so sorry that you have to go through the stages. I know your mother sees your efforts and is proud!!
Many of my friends and I have done the same thing--isolate---so we can grieve and go forward. We need people--friends--yet we must give ourselves private time to grieve also. Prayer sent.
I hope she says HI to my husband. I know they are having the best Christmas ever!! emoticon

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TWINKLETERESA 12/9/2011 12:07PM

    I am so, so, sorry for your loss!Your blogs on grief, all three have moved me to tears. You touched a place deep within me that needed to be touched, I so very often live "behind my wall" in order to protect from myself from heartache and I have insulated myself with food. My wish for you is peace of mind and self love! I believe you are amazingly strong, please do not beat yourself up for what was not, but love yourself for what was! Your Mother knows how much you love her and would not want to to interrupt your journey to good health! Thank you for your words!


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Grief is not..

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a loss of faith, it is th price of love.
My neighbor is brain "dead" in the hospital for 16 days. She is still breathing without aid.
I bring cookies to her adult children and sit with them for a while. But I cannot stay all day.. I was not able to do this for my mother either. I do not seem to be capable to just sit and wait with them.
Grief is not a sign of weakness nor a loss of faith , it is the price of love..
God be with you today and thank you for any kind words . But feelings diminshed and denied will return.. But feelings, well felt, will pass. This I believe is our nature..

the picture is my mom, her sister and her niece, my sister. They are the faithful ones.

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Comment edited on: 12/5/2011 7:42:38 PM

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MISS_VIV 12/3/2011 4:41PM

    Because you cannot sit and wait - does not mean that you are not faithful. You were all you could be for your mother and gave so much of yourself from afar. For your neighbor as much as you pray that you could sit with her and her family - your thoughts and prayers are reflected in your diligence. Not a sign of weakness...you are so right.

May you be wrapped with blessings today and everyday as you journey yet through another sadness.

Much love

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BARBARASDIET 12/3/2011 3:38PM

    horrible for her family...

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2 Grief is not a sign of weakness

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Grief expressed is grief diminished.
Denying my grief may be helpful in cutting myself from the pain but,
the agony is still there and it will stay until I acknowledge it.
It may be useful to remember that when I suffer a great loss,
it is a sign of strength ---not weakness--
to be able to express the emotions necessary for a return to normalcy.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNUZSUZ 11/22/2011 5:38AM

    I'm so sorry you have to go through this! I wish you the best and will be sending a prayer up for you right now:)

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    Am looking forward to seeing you stay focused and reach your weight loss and fitness goals. All the best - Mark...

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