Tuesday, August 26, 2008
I use to think rich people were bad, and to be rich meant you were like Paris Hilton, someone shallow, a condescending blond, a really nasty and selfish person, and that Heavenly Father does not like, that is what I use to think! That is what I was raised to think when you hear people around you talking about politics and money. My Family use to call me fat all the time, is that why I struggle with my weight all the time? I mean if you hear things enough eventually you believe it right. I think that is what keeps people from excelling to their potentials.
I don't know, every few days I get these epiphanies, like I'm some sort of philosopher or something, my DH calls them butt pulls, hmmmm maybe that's my calling..... what do philosophers do?
Anyway, once in a while when I have too much time to internalize and I get one of these brain farts, and today it's about wealth, and I want some of it! And I think it really depends on your deep down feelings towards things, like in your sub-consciousness, and it's the type of thoughts and energy you throw out there that ultimately influence what you get out of life....
So these days I'm seeing myself not only skinny but rich, I mean why not it's very possible, what set me apart from rich people but my own thoughts and energy right. I'm thinking skinny and rich is inevitable for me right now. OK that's my 2 cents today.
How you doing
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
It is really hard being a woman, and men really don't understand what we go through, not even the male OB/GYN Dr., they can be as sympathetic as they want but they will never understand the discomfort, the pain and disappointment we go through with our bodies on a regular basis. And on top of that, not only do we get the pleasure of experiencing, bloating, cramping, water retention, gas, accompanied with a bunch of other things I rather not be reminded of, some of us have IBS! It's like a forever PMS, it never stops, and as such we have every friggin right to be crappy, grumpy and in a pissy mood if we please. GRRRRRRR. And yessss, you guessed it, this week I am going through all of the above.
But it make us all the stronger, yes when I get on that scale and even with all of me following my diet program, exercising and keeping my body hydrated that scale will look right back at me and show me 5 lbs more than I was two days ago, but I won't give up, yes I may look like a fully inflated balloon fish, but I refuse to give up! Because approximately 10 days from now I will wake up look in the mirror and be so happy at the person I see looking back at me in that mirror.
So when that time of the month come know that it's your balloon fish you and in a few days you will deflate down to a smaller you before the dreaded week started. (of course only if you keep up with your diet routine) At that point after all that self loathing don't forget to reward & love yourself, your survived another bloatation week!
Until then I 'm going to be crappy, grumpy and irritable, and WHERE'S MY LEMON WATER!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Look Fabulous To!!!! This my friends is living proof that you can be an amazing cake designer and still be cute and skinny. Elisa Strauss who is one of my Cake American Idols is my motivational picture today, not because her of her cakes, ( they are awesome but I intend to surpass her skills one day, but that's for another forum) but because even though she is probably surrounded by cakes all day, and not your regular $12 local grocery store cakes folks, we are talk decadent, luscious chocolate cakes, intoxicating lemon cakes, sinful red velvet cakes, and lets not even go there with the buttercreams! Swiss Meringue Buttercreams! need I say more. Anyhow the point is she sleeps, eats and dreams cakes 24/7, and look at her... just look how gorgeous, and my skinny idol today!
If you want to check out her cake go to www.confetticakes.com she has amazing skills just so friggin talented.
But look out Elisa one day you may be challenging me in all my skinniness on Food Network and you better bring something more than that sock monkey cake!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
As I reflect on my favorite movie and book of all time "The Lords of The Ring" by J.R.R. Tolkien, last night it came to me that I have been in denial for most of my life, and I hate to admit it, I mean really hate it. I think what I hate the most is that I covered it up and pushed it down and never faced it, and it's a constant nag. It is my Bane. Aragorn knew that the ring was his bane and he had the strength to walk away from it, where Isildure could not and it lead to his undoing. Look what it turned Smeagol into, and Bilbo, poor Bilbo, he was spared his life, but did he really recover? And as we took the journey with Frodo, the burden of the ring got heavier and heavier, and when the temptation came to put on the ring, it brought something more horrible more terrible to him, the Nazgul, and if it found him, you know what would have happened after that (If you don't get the book!)
Well right now I feel like Frodo, I am carrying around this burden of being in denial and not acknowledging my weakness. And I know the first step to conquering your weakness is in facing it and acknowledging it.
So I have decided to rid myself of it today and let out all , all of my weakness, right here, right now.
Here we go
*I have always felt ugly and fat
*I dislike my legs
*I'm afraid that I won't lose weight
*I hate waking up early in the morning
*I'm lazy and hate to clean my room or house for that matter
*I have almost no discipline
*I can't bake a cake without tasting it
*I always lick the cake batter out of the bowl
*The same with buttercream
*I don't pray enough
*I don't read my scriptures enough
*I watch too much TV - (I did not watch TV yesterday though!)
*I still hate my stepmother
*Still angry at my dad for marring her
*Jealous of my sisters that they are so skinny
*Wish I pursued my dancing career
*I'm an emotional eater
*And I really don't like to workout
*Afraid if I do lose weight I will gain it back again
Done, I got it all out.. well... with what I can remember for the moment, but I'm done with whatever that stuff is too! Just read that list again, and as you read it place a mental check mark next to each one and say Maria's DONE! The ring fell into the fire's of mount doom Done! I FEEL GOOD DONE! Will be taking back my jeans from my daughter soon Done!
Ooh I forgot to mention the picture above is of a Nazgul witch king cake I made for my Hubby on his birthday this year, he too is a LOTR and anything Tolkien fanatic, I don't know whose worse!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
"American Idol", "So you think you can dance", "30 Rock", "Scrubs", "Ace of Cakes", Food Network" just a few of my addictions. Even in the age of DVR, I must watch them ALL or I feel I'm gonna miss something. I need to be on top of my game and show I am TV savvy, that I'm hip, that I know the episode you speak of, I must be armed for the water cooler chats!
NO more, I'm DONE! New Goal, no TV on the weekdays unless it's the News because I need to know the weather. I will listen to music and awaken the ex-dancer in me, I will hang with my kids, I will workout, I will FREE myself from the bondage of TIME WARNER CABLE!!!! ( no I'm not going to cancel! I have to watch Ace of Cake... what?! I'm a caker)
Anyhow, I'm Done setting around, gonna workout for the first time in MONTHS, see you guys later.
Second blog Done.
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