Saturday, December 08, 2012
When you take your life into your own hands and realize (in my case AGAIN) that taking care of yourself really makes sense, life allows you to reap the benefits. I weighed myself this morning after many self struggles and I am 130.6 lbs. It was my "true weight" in the morning before eating and drinking and after the first morning restroom visit. I purposely don't make a habit of checking my weight. This was the first time in about three weeks I think. Needless to point out I was excited enough to bug my half-asleep husband and shake him a little to tell him. I got a high-five! I must say I enjoy high-fives. They've been coming a lot recently.
I'm finally not torturing myself with mishaps and mess ups. I throw myself into my exercise and use it to its fullest extent. Meaning I allow stress to go away through sweat and release of energy. I have found my inner peace. I'm fine with the knowledge (and experiences) that I will struggle, but more often than not overcome any doubts, judging, criticism on my part and others, and really ANYTHING that stands in my way of taking care of myself and staying healthy. I am more appreciative of praise and no longer balk at receiving and criticizing internally the words. I am also going to brush off and ignore people who doubt that what I have both accomplished and established for myself something that's enjoyable, sustainable, and a lifestyle over being a fad, dieting, or just something I'm obsessing over.
In starting my want for self improvement I have done all this and more to myself. Both good and bad my husband has seen. He's been the biggest voice of reason when I've tried my hardest to make myself happy and not achieved it. It took some recent words of his when I hit a real low to wake me up. Since then I struggled (and still do) with telling myself "NO" when cravings or the want to binge eat occurs. But what's the difference now? I have ability to say that to myself. I see something I'm just "dying" to have, and I can give myself the reality check that I don't need that brownie, that sweet, that whatever it is. To have that power is thrilling.
With the help of my husband, Cardio Class, friends, my dog, family, and wanting to set an example I am more than on my way to a lifestyle I am happy with. I love exercising (the before and after, not always during!). I love experimenting with healthy recipes even when the outcome isn't so great. I love myself. I love my life. I love who I am and hope that who I will be throughout time reflects how far I have come and will continue to go.
Enough inner wisdom and rambling. I'm just flat excited that I am healthy!!!