Tuesday, November 29, 2011
At my lowest weight I had lost 158 pounds. At my last weigh in I had lost 142 pounds, which means I have gained 16 pounds. And I suspect my next weigh in will see a couple more pounds because I have been out of control with my eating.
I thought on Sunday I had it all back in line. I set a three part goal for my nutrition:
1. Eat within my calorie range.
2. Eat small meals at regular intervals.
3. Avoid late night eating.
I did well on Sunday and until late night on Monday. Then I ate a load of cookies.
I am dealing with a major belief error: I believe it is inevitable for me to re-gain the weight I have lost. I know that belief is erroneous, but I am having a hard time overcoming it. I can know and I can think, but this belief is deeply embedded, and my knowing and thinking is not working to beat it down.
I work with an exercise physiologist, Tim, who tells me always that re-gaining weight is not inevitable. Tim tells me he works to maintain his weight and fitness level. He has to hold the line and resist temptation and make corrections to his behaviors all the time. He eats carefully and works out daily. He tells me again and again and again that to maintain my weight loss I have to do what I did to lose in the first place. He tells me to return to my old logs on SparkPeople and observe the behaviors that led to my success.
I listen to him. I think, I KNOW, he is correct, but there is such a deeply embedded error in my belief system that I am going to have to struggle to overcome it.
The other night I used On Demand to watch The Biggest Loser Special. The show had many former winners return and talk about their journey. They are all maintaining their new weights and working hard to spread the word. On that show trainer Bob Harper said weight loss is hard, but maintenance is harder. Like Tim, he said he has to work everyday to maintain his trim weight and fitness level. He said it is hard but it is doable. He says formerly overweight people have to do what he does to avoid becoming fat.
Today one of my SparkTeam members praised me for my weight loss and told me she is sure I will keep it in control.
I am trying to take all these pieces and put them together so I can overcome this belief that regaining is inevitable. I know what to think, but thinking is different from believing. I think I do not have to regain the weight. I have been given many rational explanations of what I need to do, and I accept the explanations and think they are correct.
But I have to convert those thoughts into beliefs. I have to come to believe that Tim and Bob Harper and my SparkFriend reflect what is true for me.
Thanks for listening.