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I don't even remember this girl--

Monday, December 20, 2010

Friday night, my hubby and I were watching a movie. When the movie was over, the screen saver of family pictures came up. And I saw this picture.

I remember this moment. I know EXACTLY what I was doing. I know who it was for and what was going on. But, I don't remember the girl who was doing the craft. I don't remember her.

And I don't remember her.

Or her.

I don't remember what my life was like back then. I don't remember how I ate. I don't remember what I did with my free time. I don't remember this girl.

I spent this weekend pondering these pictures.

And I am okay with not remembering this girl. Because it means, I've changed so much (on the inside!) that I can't imagine living that way again. I can't imagine what my life would be like, sitting on my rear. And watching life pass me by.

I had a weekend filled with blips. I struggled with insomnia. Drank a little. Ate out 2x. Ate dessert 2x. Only ran once, instead of twice. I nibbled on whole wheat crackers all weekend. I ate when I wasn't hungry. I overate when I was.

But, I know... that I have not failed. I had some blips. A bit of a wake up call. But, just blips. They are not the way of life any more. Because-- urgh-- I feel crummy today. Physically. My stomach is grouchy with me. My energy levels are low. And I know that I am going back to normal today.

Today, I am going to eat a healthy breakfast of oatmeal and apples. I am going to have a veggie pasta for lunch and a sweet potato for dinner. I am babysitting again today. So, I will probably not get much of a workout in... but I will fit in 10 minutes every chance I get... and hopefully get up to my full hour! I am going to the post office and the grocery store and finishing up my homemade Christmas gifts. I have my last voice class of the term tonight.

The girl I remember is busy, active, and energetic.

I remember this girl.

And this one.

And this one.

And I really like her.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZAEZAE 12/23/2010 10:17AM

    Hugely inspring post! Thanks for sharing. Gave me goose bumps!!

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THESB25 12/21/2010 5:11PM

    I love this blog post - the ending just says it all. Go girl!

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RITAROSE 12/21/2010 8:50AM

  I love the change! You look so very happy in your skinny pics. You've worked hard to get to the point you're at now and how very sweet it is! Congrats on a great journey! emoticon

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4EVERADONEGIRL 12/20/2010 3:15PM

    I heart you!!! You are amazing! What an awesome journey and just think - you are far from being done yet! Can't wait to see what else you have up your sleeve!

Keep it up girl - you are amazing!!!

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ANDREA963 12/20/2010 2:37PM

    Wow Mel. I never knew the other gal, but it's so hard to believe you are the same person. It's amazing isn't it, how a switch just goes on and suddenly your in control of your life.

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ANEPANALIPTI 12/20/2010 1:30PM

    You fill me with so much hope, you make me feel like it CAN be done. Thank you for being my friend! emoticon

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BAILEYS7OF9 12/20/2010 12:24PM

    Wow. Is there any relation between the two girls?


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BLAN163 12/20/2010 12:09PM


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CARRIE1948 12/20/2010 11:29AM

    I wonder if looking at the old photos triggered old behaviors?

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ELFITZPA 12/20/2010 10:41AM

    Great blog - your transformation is truly inspiring, as is your attitude. I agree that this weekend was just a blip on the radar and can see how it must be hard for you to remember your old self.

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MINENA1 12/20/2010 10:27AM

    Wow! You've come such a long way! Congrats! emoticon

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MOMMYNURSE 12/20/2010 9:31AM

    Just happened across your blog..what a SURPRISE when I got down to your "now" wonder you don't recognize your old self! AMAZING! You are in such gorgeous shape now it's so motivational for others! I read a couple of your other blogs and it's so encouraging to see that you allow for "life" and enjoyment of some less than healthy foods. You are a true example that LIFESTYLE changes work...not dieting! GO YOU!

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SHARJOPAUL 12/20/2010 9:25AM

What a change!
From what you said you have really change your life a lot. If a blip includes only running once over a weekend, and eating off, then you have made a REAL lifestyle change.

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RINNGII 12/20/2010 9:12AM

    Grats on losing so much and hey since you look so different now i think you can get away with claiming you don't know that girl ,jks. Face book is the worst for that with people putting up old pictures.

Good blogging.

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SKINNYPOWELL1 12/20/2010 9:10AM

    You look FANTASTIC, what a great job you have done. Be proud. emoticon

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MEMES74 12/20/2010 9:03AM

    I enjoyed reading your blog...really motivating...

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MICKEYMAX 12/20/2010 9:02AM

    Smokin' hot girl! I love this blog!

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GLOWORM1963 12/20/2010 9:02AM

    I am so proud of and for you!!! You look great ~ I hope oneday I can say the same!!!

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56_PICKLES 12/20/2010 9:00AM

    You've come a long way!

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HEATHER_RUNS 12/20/2010 8:59AM

    This is a great blog. Thanks for posting!

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DANDRAS 12/20/2010 8:54AM

    great job. very motivational ....Keep making the right choices!

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Appliance Destroyer!

Friday, December 17, 2010

The holiday season seems to be the appliance destroyer in my house!

I woke last night to the smell of burning plastic. My dishwasher was smoking. Yep. Last year, my oven broke at Thanksgiving. My washing machine broke at Christmas. This year, my dishwasher...

Fun. Moments like this make me almost glad I rent-- the property management company has to fix it. And the repairman will be here in an hour. YEA!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANEPANALIPTI 12/17/2010 5:48PM

    emoticon Aww!

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PHYL220 12/17/2010 1:23PM


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4EVERADONEGIRL 12/17/2010 12:27PM

    You must be a busy little gal to keep destroying appliances with each holiday! LOL

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SHERYLDS 12/17/2010 9:48AM

    You are the TERMINATOR !!!!
Well ... that's one way to get a new dishwasher emoticon

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AGASSIFAN 12/17/2010 9:34AM

    You have it made!!!! Have a WONDERFUL holiday season!!!

Peace & love!


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What is the 80/20 rule?

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

You ask. I try to answer!

In principle, the 80/20 rule is about being in the game 80% of the time with 20% wiggle room.

It means, that at least 80% of the time, I will get my workouts in. I will push myself harder at least 80% of the time. I will eat right, good, healthy and clean at least 80% of the time.

But, it also means that I can go to a party, OR have a glass of wine, OR eat some pizza, OR eat out once in a while, OR miss a workout (okay, that one would never happen. Without my workouts I go insane!), OR eat a pizza, OR have some cake. Keeping those OR moments to 20% less of my life is the key.

Now, when I say I try to live my life by the 80/20 rule, it means, that I have given myself permission to be LIVE my LIFE in the REAL WORLD, not just in weight loss mode. Giving myself permission to be a little less than perfect, to eat a little processed food, to be real-- is important to me. I need that space to keep my sanity.

I AM A PERFECTIONIST. If I don't meet my own standards, than I deem myself a failure. And it is DANG hard to meet my own standards. And then I get down on myself and wonder if I am ever going to succeed. Which is why I have implemented this rule in my life. I AM a success! I HAVE achieved my goals. I am not STILL STRIVING for something. I am LEARNING to maintain. And if my own rules for my life don't give me room to have a piece of pizza every now and again, then I am not going to succeed at maintenance. And I never would have succeeded at losing the weight in the first place.

LIFE HAPPENS and I need to be in the world, enjoying and living my life. And that means that there has to be room for "OR" moments.

I often have weeks where I don't use my 20% (because I totally PLAN for my Friday night pizza. That is not part of my 20%! Can you tell I have a pizza addiction?) But, it is always there, if I need it.

The 80/20 rule is about achieving balance. Balance. Balance. Balance!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANDREA963 12/16/2010 10:57PM

    I love pizza too. Even more now than I did in college. Kinda bizarre. :)

Great thinking process Mel. Very logical and reasonable. I like it.

Comment edited on: 12/16/2010 10:57:46 PM

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ANEPANALIPTI 12/15/2010 12:17PM

    emoticon emoticon

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FLGIRL1234 12/14/2010 5:04PM

    "I have given myself permission to be LIVE my LIFE in the REAL WORLD, not just in weight loss mode."

I LOVE this!

~ Thanks for sharing!


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4EVERADONEGIRL 12/14/2010 4:20PM

    Such a great plan - and definitely one of the reasons why you ARE maintaining and have met so many of your goals!

you ROCK!!

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46SHADOW 12/14/2010 12:04PM

    you've got it!

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VICTORIARENEE 12/14/2010 11:33AM

    Love it!

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HEALTHY_45 12/14/2010 11:06AM

    What a great concept, sometimes that "all or nothing" diet mentality takes over our lives. However, your 80/20 rule makes so much more sense.
Thanks for sharing!

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 12/14/2010 8:51AM

    I also live by the 80/20 rule. It is the only way to go!!

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SKINNYPOWELL1 12/14/2010 8:08AM

    Loved your blog, I am going to adopt your 80/20 rule. I think secretly, subconsciously I've been doing that all along, but I do need 20% guilt free room for FUN. Enjoy your day, you've inspired me today. emoticon

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80/20 Rule

Monday, December 13, 2010

I do try and live my life by the 80/20 rule. I didn't blow my whole routine by eating like a complete hog yesterday. (finger food parties are the worst. Thank God, I only have to attend like 2 a year!) But, I easily blew my 20% yesterday. It was a hot mess. And boy do I feel like yuck today. But, it's okay... because it is okay to slip up to 20% of the time.

But, I am having a hard time facing the week with no wiggle room. If I blew my 20% for the week in one seriously messed up afternoon... how do I cope with the 40 gingerbread cookies left in my kitchen? How do I give my son a cookie and not have one myself? I made these cookies, because (without decoration) a cookie is around 55 calories a piece. And I put very limited frosting on them, so I would guess another 15 calories in frosting. So, 70 calories a cookie. But, still... I don't have any of my 20% to eat them anymore.

Oh, well! I am going to start my day with fruit. Eat soup and veggies this week. It's going to be easy to do that... I've just got to remember that I don't have 20% of indulgence space this week.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOSING107 12/13/2010 10:06PM

    What are the exact rules to the 80/20 thing?

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ANEPANALIPTI 12/13/2010 6:10PM

    emoticon You are awesome girl.

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GERAPTIKO 12/13/2010 4:33PM

    That's great rule!

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46SHADOW 12/13/2010 12:09PM

    how about soup and one cookie with tea? Tis the season for those indulgences to add up quickly.good for you to be mindful. i need that!

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MYSTERY4EVER 12/13/2010 11:00AM

    Do the best you can. Plan for a small treat. That may keep you from going bananas. You can do this. Be strong.

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KIMPOSSIBLE82 12/13/2010 10:28AM

    You'll make it through. Don't fret about it too much :)

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SAS202554 12/13/2010 10:01AM

  What is the 80/20 rule? Don't beat yourself up about this. Just get back on your program and keep on going. Don't let one day make you throw in the towel. You can do it. Stay with the positive and you will be a winner in your weight loss!!! emoticon

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23 days later...

Friday, December 10, 2010

Oh, foolish Mel! Whatever were you thinking yesterday? The headache? The drive to eat? The sweatiness? The extreme reactions to being hot and cold? Super sensitive skin? Bloating?

Oh dear! A little thought began to form as my headache blossomed into a migraine. I went off my birth control 23 days ago. My GYN said I should get a period in 21-27 days. Hmmm.... My last actual non-hormonally regulated cycle was May 4, 2007 (yes, I remember that date!). I had forgotten. Oh, yes! This is the reason I've been on hormonal birth control for most of my adult life. The throbbing pain in my head, the extreme skin sensitivity, not to mention cramps which are just starting to develop a bit today. (and I have to say, a cycle so soon after about 10 days of the Mirena "crash" seems really unfair!)

So, I'm 33 years old and completely missed the signs that I was about to start my cycle. I'm starting to mark my calendar again, like I did when I was 14. I've got to relearn my cycle and to be prepared. I am going to have to learn and plan for a normal, regular cycle again. It seems crazy, but my hormones did really get the best of me... like call in sick to work get the best of me several times a year due to them... I also hope I am not anticipating something that isn't coming. I mean, I haven't actually "started" yet. But, all the signs are pointing to "big red".

At least right now, I am not feeling like I want to dive into a box of chocolate or cookies. In fact, a simple meal of oatmeal kind of sounds unattractive. We'll see how the rest of this week goes. For today, I am going to go take another mega dose of Motrin to help me function with a severe headache. I'm finishing my Christmas shopping today. I am going to finish weatherizing my downstairs. (Our house is old and drafty. I finally have the rest of the window coverings to block over our windows!)

Oh silly Mel...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANEPANALIPTI 12/13/2010 6:11PM

    emoticon = YOU.

I hope you have time to snuggle up with a movie! :) :) :)

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4EVERADONEGIRL 12/13/2010 2:30PM

    LOL - Tracking is critical at times...I know the more I track my cycle the better prepared I am to deal with it. :-)

Welcome back to regular cycles! ;-)

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CYCLEGIRL36 12/11/2010 4:35PM

    Extra-strength Midol is a lifesaver in our household.

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MONKEYSNUFFER 12/10/2010 3:37PM

    Feel better! Cramps are the worst!

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TREASURINGLIFE 12/10/2010 3:32PM

    I hope you feel better soon!

- Michelle

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