Wednesday, March 13, 2013
As some of you know, I started (and by starting, I mean somewhat attempting) P90X this week and it's really kicking my butt. And I'm even modifying most of the workouts so I don't collapse on the floor and die! haha
I decided I would take it easy today since I'm in pain and I'm already filled with guilt about not working out or doing cardio. I just started thinking to myself tonight, "Since when has working out become such a chore and burden to me? Have I always felt like this? Have I ever really enjoyed working out?" I absolutely dread starting my workouts because I don't enjoy them at all and just want to get it over with so I can track my calories burned on SP.
When I recall my younger days, I never had a workout regimen. I only had the outdoors to go on bike rides and sports to be involved in. To me, that was NOT working out and I loved it. I could spend hours doing what I loved and somehow (miraculously to me) I was always healthy.
These days, I am not strong enough or fast enough (or so it feels) to be involved in sports and recreational activities; I feel like I have to work myself back up so I don't look or feel like a fool. I know most people would reply that I shouldn't feel that way and just do what I love, but it's really hard...harder than most know. To add to that disgusted feeling of myself that I have, I just think about how easy it was for me to do those things before...and look at me now!
I know I need to work on loving myself for what I am right here and now and forever. But how do people stay interested? How do I make these workouts more appealing until I feel comfortable enough to join a sport? Does it go back to motivation and inspiration? What are your thoughts?
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Well I've been really determined and motivated this week. Every other day I went for my 5k walk/jog and I ate pretty well (I thought), but I'm not seeing as much of an accomplishment as I wanted to. So, I reevaluated my week, went through my fitness and nutrition trackers, my goals and what I've been through.
I hate making excuses, so I'm going to call these "reasons" why I didn't achieve some goals this week:
1.) I was under my caloric intake goal almost every day but one. This can definitely hurt my body and actually make it store food as fat as it goes into starvation mode.
2.) I didn't do any strength training. Although I just kept thinking that my 5k every other day would make me lose weight this week, it really didn't and it makes a difference when you do more than cardio 3x a week.
3.) I developed a bad cold this past weekend and didn't do a thing.
With that said, I'm going to try and stay on track this week and be a little more determined to meet ALL of my goals. I have to stop assuming that just because I jog for 3 miles three times a week, it doesn't mean I'm going to lose 2-3 pounds. I need to do cardio every day and strength training 3 days a week. I even started P90X yesterday and I lost a pound! (it's intense).
On another note, I need to keep chatting more with my buds on here...they really help to keep me going and I love reading their posts and blogs. It gives me a sense of community...and makes me feel that I'm not alone with my struggles. (Thank you everyone! )
So to wrap it all up...stick with it, work as hard as you can and stay connected!
Monday, March 04, 2013
Wow, my first blog entry!
I want to start by saying that I am so excited to start losing what's weighing me down...and it's not just the physical weight. I was scared to join and ask for motivation, but just by reading so many motivational posts by others, it really gives me a sense of hope! I created my first post of a group forum asking for friends and soon after had a response! I love how complete strangers can reach out and help others. It's something almost unknown to me.
So, I digress. Onto the subject of this blog entry.
There are many reasons that have pushed me to become seriously involved with the SP community, mostly for support and accountability. This week however, I had a huge motivator which may seem unhealthy to most people, but I'm not totally convinced. I used to be best friends with this girl (Kate) in college. In those years I was fit and thin while Kate was overweight and I became her motivator. I wanted to help her to not feel uncomfortable in her own skin. Unfortunately we moved away from each other after college, but stayed close. We both gained even more weight, but only one of us decided to make a healthy change and it wasn't me. I was so angry that she did this without me and was actually succeeding! Kate was going to be healthier, skinnier and more confident than me for the first time since we became friends and I was alone. I made a huge mistake and lashed out at her by basically saying she didn't need my support. And she left me to be with myself in my own sulking world. Why wouldn't she? I was completely negative and ruining her mojo. But what she didn't know was how much that hurt me too.
Recently, after 2 years we've reconnected over FB and she's lost almost 100 pounds and looks great. I've lost 2. Needless to say, this has set a fire under my butt (is that the expression?), but in a good way. I want to have the best positive outlook and be able to support the friends I make on here. And unlike Kate and unlike the person I used to be, I won't abandon my friends when they need help. And I really hope my SP friends will do the same for me. I'm willing to say it freely now...that I need friends...I need support....I need motivation.
WHO'S WITH ME??? (Said in a Mel Gibson voice from some movie like Braveheart)
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