MELODYSPARKLES   17,769
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Visual Feelings...

Monday, January 23, 2012

I have felt like this for 4 years..Have you?




I know there are those of you out there with amazing success, and I am so proud of you...I don't want to be this bear anymore...

Just saying!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILDFLOWERR_ 1/24/2012 9:52AM

    Get up off of the fence and like Nike says, "JUST DO IT!"
You got this!
emoticonremember, No weapon formed against you can prosper! In Jesus Name!
Hugs and Blessings,
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PENNEYV 1/24/2012 8:19AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Note To Self

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Okay I restarted Spark this week...In 4 days I lost 2.6 pounds..Considering I have been on steroids for 3 weeks, this is initself amazing, because Prednisone, is known for blowing you up with fluids...

SO Note to self:
Good Job!

Improvements needed:
Portion control
Start measuring instead of eye balling everything
NO MORE LATE NIGHT EATING...sin sin sin Naughty Naughty!!!
Start this week on baby steps as in walking, I get short of breath easy, but hey I had a treadmill last yr, and I actually breathed better excersizing..SO get your butt up and move!
No more eating in bed...
Eat only in the dining room or down stairs...Lord knows eating brocoli in bed is a bit messy!
Daily morning stretches just to stir up some blood circulation

I don't need a reward, for improvement, the reward is the improvemnt.
The reward is feeling good
The reward is having self esteem
The reward is having control, not plundering every bit of food available in the house
The reward is loving yourself as much as you love those around you.

Give yourself the same support that others would give you.

Take charge, and no this is no overnight success...It is a journey of many days, many months or even a year or two..IN this day in age of instant gratification, self improvement is old fashioned, and it does take time...

Okay Miss Melody it is Sunday, time to take charge!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

B4TURNING40 1/23/2012 3:51PM

    Keep at it! Oh, the portion control is my hardest thing. I'm not a snacker but that is bc I love to eat huge meals at restaurants. So now that I'm cutting back on portions, I want to snack in between. uggh! This is hard and I can't stand it when people say it isn't! It's only the strongest that will survive. I believe you are a survivor!

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WILDFLOWERR_ 1/22/2012 11:47PM

    * measuring very important
*if your measuring, you can do late night eating if the tracker shows a calorie deficit.
*I eat a "healthy" high protein snack in bed almost every night B4 bed!
* Yes! make a plan, set long and short term goals, WITH non~food rewards!
*Yes! Love yourself, like Jesus love you!
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JB122383 1/22/2012 2:38PM

    I'm so proud of you Melody. For being on prednisone you've done amazingly. And, I love your goals and your reward system. I have a problem with late night eating too. But, I'm proud to say this past week, I've done much, much better and I know you will too. You CAN do this! We will help each other.

Take charge and just think how much better we are going to feel and look and how much healthier we will be.

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ALL I can do is cry....

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

My beloved sister passed away Dec 13th, after a long struggle with recovery from a severe brain injury near her brain stem. She aspirated on vomit, was septic, and ventilator dependent after a 5 day emergecy ordeal in the hospital beginning Dec 8th. She wasn't really responding off of anesthesia, and it was agonizingly apparent her brain function had detoriated..In Aug, she confirmed to all cognitively that is she were to get sick she did not want to be on a ventilator or life support. We tried a 5 day aggresive approach to get her on the mend...But her wishes were to be honored.




I just got out of the hospital myself last weekend after a weeks stay from Exacerbation of my copd/asthma, and the steroid medications had my blood sugars in the 500's....

Yes I have put on more wt, but the battle I fought for my sister was harder more emotional and more brutal than any excersize program....So as my daughter reminded me last night, "mother", you fought for Angie with everything you had, your mental and spiritual strength is stronger than you had thought or ever thought"......so thinking theses things over, I must battle and love myself as I did for my sister. WHo god bless her heart had not had a bite if real food in 17 months, due to her inability to swallow...so I guess I did the swallowing for her...
For you that know me, god bless you all for still sticking around. As I tried to write AImee, I was seriously considering joining wt watchers, to get me out of the house....etc, and yet after doing some research on them, and their money end of things, I found more mentions of Spark People on some of these other websites, reminding me of the friends and motivation that lies right here. ANd it is free to boot! So hellow 2012...time to Sparkle again....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JB122383 1/22/2012 2:53PM

    I am so very sorry for you loss of your sister. I will pray will give you comfort and peace for you and your family.

I hope you don't mind, but I've made you a SP friend of mine. There are just several things you talk about that reminds me of myself.

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GEEMAWEST 1/19/2012 9:34PM

    Oh Melody, I am so sorry for your loss. I remember Angie from school fondly. She was always such a sweetheart.

Hang in there. You can do this and we are here for you. ALWAYS!
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MLMILLER11 1/18/2012 10:12PM

    I'm sorry for your loss. It is hard to lose a sister. When my sister passed we talked about all her antics and the fun loving things she did. It wasn't long before their was laughter mixed with our grief. Hold on to all your wonderful memories of her and all the good times you had together. Before long you just might find yourself smiling inside and out.

I pray God will comfort your heart and give you peace.

Many emoticon!

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WILDFLOWERR_ 1/18/2012 10:56AM

    Welcome Back Ms. M! I have sorely missed you! We are here for you! emoticonALWAYS! emoticon
Please let me know if I can help you on your journey to better health in ANY way!
Love,
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PENNEYV 1/18/2012 10:35AM

    Life has ways of changing things in ways we never expecte. Sound like you are actually a very strong person and can change your physical circumstance. Look at it as choosing to live FOR your sister. Will be praying for your recovery! emoticon

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POORGIRL_DIET 1/18/2012 10:09AM

    I am very sorry for your loss, you and your family will be remember in my prayers.

Take it one day at a time hun and come back when you are ready. You are in my thoughts

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BELTONWALKER67 1/18/2012 8:45AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. Try to remember all the fun times you had with your sister. Those memories will be with you forever.

I'm glad you are out of the hospital and doing better. 2011 was hard for you and now it's time for 2012 to bring good things to you. emoticon

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My Lungs Suck

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Yep its true, my lung disease has me fully disabled by the VA and the Social Security ...

I had a pulmonary function test mid June, turns out I have a whopping 40% of lung volume....( hello not 100%)

Last friday morning i woke up light headed and feeling weird, I took my oxygen level it was 79...seems the doctors can't make up their mind if I do or don't need home oxygen. It does upset me, because anxiety kicks in, and I get scared of doing anything. When the oxygen in your blood level falls below 84% you start killing a few brain cells...

Well anyway, I blasted off some mileage last wk and the week before. I don't mean to be antisocial to my beloved friends, sometimes I just tend to unintentially isolate, I am used to being a loner. ( not lonesome)

I adore you my friends, I just realize my journey has additional obstacles, not to mention a few icecream bars lately...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BACK2SQUARE1 7/14/2010 6:45PM

    Melody! I am just back from my own anti-social stint! I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling down! Also, so sad to hear your lungs are in such bad shape! I know you will persevere! Your personality will not allow for anything less! God bless! emoticon

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ROLLER-GIRL 7/14/2010 11:33AM

    I'm sorry that you're going through some extra challenges. I hope you and your doctors sort out what you need to be at your best. I hope that you will feel better soon. I can empathize with the challenges of trying to be healthy while our bodies rebel.

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SANDYMAE3 7/13/2010 1:05AM

    god has a plan. not surewhat it is yet. trust him. and we will get a prayer chain going for you. love bel.

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SUSANDREW1 7/12/2010 9:22AM

    I'm so sorry! That sounds horrible. You must be really strong to make it through this! I take breaks from being social too! Sometimes I need that break from people. I can't get it from my family and life to often, but I understand how you feel.

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BONNIE627 7/12/2010 8:36AM

    I know exactly how you feel.. I have 36% of my lungs and think the radiation I just went through has damaged some of that..once you get on the oxygen you will do better.. see your lung dr. and tell him how things are going...he will help you.. praying for you to get some results soon.

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BELTONWALKER67 7/12/2010 8:28AM

    Hope your doctors make a decision soon about your 24/7 oxygen. I think it would make you feel much better. It's OK to be a loner as long as you're not lonesome. Thinking of you & praying that you soon will feel much better. emoticon

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PSALM34V7 7/12/2010 2:54AM

    Sorry to hear about your lungs. It sounds like an especially hard obstacle to work around, but I like how positive your spirit is! I'll pray for you.

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WILDFLOWERR_ 7/12/2010 1:03AM

    NO matter what, we are always here for you. Remember that. Even though we can not actually touch each other, we can still touch each others hearts and minds, and we care for you! Stay strong in the Lord my lovely Sparked Friend! I will pray for the healing of your lungs!
Blessings,
Wildflowerr

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AIMEEM77 7/12/2010 12:22AM

    Those obstacles are just like hurdles on a racetrack...build up enough momentum and you can hop over them. You might catch your toe on them and you might even fall down, but for every hurdle you clear it equals forward progress and that is what matters.

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, but you are a true champ and I believe in you. You can do it!


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MONTY68 7/11/2010 10:15PM

    Hi Melody
I admire you for being able to write and explain what is going on in your life. You are doing such a good job with all that you are attempting to do. I never ever gave it a thought of you being antisocial, you do comment, you have written when you felt the need and I am really glad that we have become friends.
The number one thing you need to do is to take care of Melody and I think you are doing that. You also know that we are here and you can count on your friends for support when you need it.
Thank you so much for sharing this.

Monty emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CAROLYN1213 7/11/2010 7:35PM

    I am sorry sweety. That sounds very frightening to me. My mom and two of my best friends are loners and very comfortable in their lifestyles. I am too much of a people person for that, but I try to understand their need for space.

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The Sad Truth is....

Saturday, June 12, 2010

That dose of Prednisone last month, gave me an automatic gift of 9 pounds back on...Sad but true.

So I have been stressing over that immensenly. I am only 2 or so pounds from getting back to where I was. It has been a heartbreaking process, but life happens.

On the flip side of the coin, I had blood work done this week, and my A1C, which was borderline diabetic, is now down below that level, so I am out of the woods! Woo Hoo... I was insprired by my daughters visit, and carefree attitude. She's lost over 40 pounds since I seen her last, looking like a cute hottie (LOL)....I really watched her, (she doesnt' exercise, then again... working full time and chasing after a 3 yr old and a 5 yr old, is in my opinion working out) she has such a healthy attitude with her eating, she eats when shes hungry, and kind of picks at her food, always has something left even if its fast food...has this tra la la kind of relationship. I decided that I want to adopt that kind of attitude. I eat within my range, but I want to not stress over it...its just a meal, like putting gas in the car..no big deal...That's the new philosphy I am trying to adopt.

My last blog of burning up 200 miles this month, is sort of a flop, one day I am breathing like a fast train and the next day my asthma is full bore...but working in the yard, tilling, weeding and hauling wheelbarrows etc are a very good workout none the less...We finally have sun now, Oh natural Vitamin D take me away....


Tra la la la la...Everyone have a wonderful Fathers Day with your families this weekend!

Lots of love to mymost wonderful Sprak friends, you know who you are!













Balance is the key to all of this...I just need to remember that!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AIMEEM77 6/14/2010 1:47PM

    You know what girlfriend you're already beating that stupid prednisone because you're almost back where you were before it. You're going to come out on top no matter what! And I kinda dig the new attitude...tra la la indeed! :-)

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_RACHEL 6/13/2010 1:18PM

    Melody,
My husband's on predisone and know very much your struggle. But... you my beautiful friend are so much healthier. Praise God for the results in your blood work. That's so awesome! Continual blessings on you Melody!

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BONNIE627 6/13/2010 8:27AM

    I have that problem with the prednisone all the time..sometimes it seems like a losing battle but we will win it and get the weight down.. hang in there.. emoticon

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WILDFLOWERR_ 6/13/2010 12:25AM

    I'm sorry life has thrown you a curve ball with the weight gain, but you are much healthier now, so that is the most important thing! Keep up the good work. Only good can come from it! Plus you will have an awesome looking yard too!
Blessings,
wildflowerrR> emoticon

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ALIMESSA 6/12/2010 11:00PM

    Congrats on the AWESOME news about your blood work...not having Diabetes is GREAT news!

Hang in there, and just don't get discouraged. Sounds like your daughter was a great influence on you and gave you something new to aspire to...that is awesome!

Have a great weekend, and keep up the great work...YOU CAN DO IT!!

As always,
Stay Strong!!

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BACK2SQUARE1 6/12/2010 10:03PM

    It seems your daughter is closer to 'eating to live' vs 'living to eat'. Great for her! I have always found the biggest problem with 'dieting' is that you really have to super-focus on food. BUT, once you set a meal plan out that works, you can kind of forget about it - as long as you stay on track. That's what I do. I have all my weeks meals going back about 4 months now and when I put a new week together, I just pick whole meals from past weeks. It makes things so much easier; especially grocery shopping! Good luck in your new approach and congrats on losing the bulk of your prednisone weight and avoiding diabetes!!! Don't worry about the 200 goal. Sooner or later, we'll both make it! :)

Comment edited on: 6/12/2010 10:10:32 PM

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MONTY68 6/12/2010 9:43PM

    Melody
Very nice, Congratulations on the blood results. Such great news. I feel a sense of calmness in this blog, like a soft breeze and a knowing that you WILL do it. It just seems so peaceful.
hank you for sharing it.

Monty emoticon emoticon emoticon

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