Friday, February 08, 2013
I haven't blogged in a couple of days, so I thought I would do so today. This week has been good for me except for getting in all of my water. Gonna work on that this weekend. I've been trying to leave a bottle of water in every room of my house so that wherever I am ...its available.
For years I was a HUGE Pepsi-holic. I couldn't go a day without at least ONE. And if I did happen to run out, it didn't take me long to jump in the car and drive all the way into town for my fix. I've even been known to raid the kid's piggy banks for a Pepsi. How desparate is that? lol. In my previous attempts to lose weight, I have always either worked in my Pepsi habit or tried to get used to Diet Soft Drinks. WELL...... for me, I'd just rather have water lol. That's just my personal opinion. I could never get used to the "after taste." So, the other day out of the blue I thought.....WOW....I haven't even THOUGHT of a Pepsi. I truly never thought I would hear those words come out of my mouth. That's how strong my addiction was. I am thankful to God that he has helped me with this. I can't even remember the last time I had one. YES!!!
I have had other family members who kicked the habit. I think its been 7 years or so since my daughter had a soft drink, but for me I could never have imagined I could do that.
Time for the weekend, and the challenges that come with eating right. I do fine at home, but years of eating out on the weekend has become another habit I would like to change. Not so much eating out, as just making wiser decisions. This year is all about positive changes for me. I feel really good about the ones I have made so far.
Take care everyone and have a wonderful weekend!
Wednesday, February 06, 2013
This morning started for me at 4am. Not by choice, however. I have such horrible problems with trying to get quality sleep. No matter what time I go to bed, at best, I get 4-5 hours. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't wake up almost as tired as I was when I went to bed. I am hopeful that this change in my eating habits will also lead to better sleep. By the time 2pm rolls around I am exhausted and almost in dire need of a nap. If I take a nap, then that effects my ability to sleep at night. Its a vicious cycle lol.
My week has been busy, and yet I feel as though I have accomplished very little. I am still looking for a job. Busy doesn't really bother me.... what bothers me most is that I am constantly having to wait on someone else in order for me to move forward. Why does it always feel like something/someone is holding me back?
I have stuck to my plan this week, but I did notice that I am feeling hunger more than I have in the last two weeks. I have no idea what that's all about. I did drop a point in my daily points values....but since I was having problems working in ALL of my daily points, I don't think that's a factor. Maybe just the stress of everything else going on in my life. Sometimes I swear I feel like I am running in circles. And if that seems funny to me, even funnier than that is that even after 52 years of living life, I still fool myself into thinking that somewhere in the near future, I will not have so much stress in my life lol. Maybe life is all about stress..... I'm not sure anymore. I just try my best not to dwell on that and keep humming.....
Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high.
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullabye.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue.
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true.
Someday I'll wish up on a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me.
Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops..
That's where you'll find me.
Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly, Birds fly over the rainbow..
Why then - oh, why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,
Why, oh, why can't I?
Saturday, February 02, 2013
Yesterday was a very busy day for me, the first of several for the next week actually. I went to see a good friend of mine who had a couple of job leads for me. I hadn't seen her in almost five years, so it was really nice to catch up too on our lives.
I left feeling so empowered. I realized after leaving how blessed I am to have such people in my life. Even during times when I have let my self-doubt get me down, I have people around me who love me and tell me continuously that I can do anything! With that said, you would think I have no excuse when it comes to anything I want to do in life. However, I know now and realize that my biggest obstacle is ME. I have to believe in ME. I married right after high-school and let my dream of continuing my education go in order to follow my ultimate dream, which was to be a wife and a mother. Even then I let me get in the way of following my dreams. I had all sorts of beliefs in my head.. things like: "You can't afford to go to school," or "You probably couldn't even pass the entrance exams!, and my favorite: "Good wives and mother's don't need an education." These were just SOME of the things I believed. Some of these were my own thoughts, some of these were from my childhood, some from my husband, but I certainly played a part in convincing myself that I couldn't do it. At the age of 46 I got the chance to go back to school as part of a severance package from my job that was outsourced. I remember sitting in my driveway after completing my first week of college and thinking....OMG, I can't do this! I was so overwhelmed, I cried. But, I knew this was the chance of a lifetime to finally prove to myself that I COULD do it. Afterall, I had just did something else I didn't think I could do. I lost 75 lbs leading up to the starting day of school! I had made major positive changes in my life and I was not going to let this opportunity go, not when I had it handed to me. So, for the next 2 years I worked diligently......and graduated with recognition. I had no idea that my decision to return to school would contribute the final blow to my marriage. For the next few years, I can't tell you how many things happened in my life. Personal illness, a doomed and crumbling marriage, the loss of my parent, the birth of a grandchild. All of that happened to bring me to where I am now... and I have to choose, do I let all of that wash over me until I just give up and drown? Or, do I pick up the pieces and start all over again? Well, the one thing I have never been in my life is a quitter. Something in me just will NOT allow it. Am I scared? You bet. Do I still hear the voices, oh yeah! But will I let all of that defeat me? No... I just can't. I have struggled with my weight most of my life. Up and down, yo yo dieting, fad diets, starvation, and none of that worked. I don't think I will ever defeat it. I think for me its much like any other addiction. I have to first admit I have a problem and face it head on. It has to be a major life change with me. I have made those first steps....and I am making progress with ME. I am learning every day that you have to love yourself FIRST. I am proud of my accomplishments in life. And I am thankful for the blessings I have. I have two beautiful children, a lovely grandchild, a wonderful, loving and supportive family. I thank God every day for where he has brought me and I know I can do anything through Him. I will keep fighting ME until I become the best ME I can be.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Its been a really sluggish week for me. I didn't get half the things done I wanted to. I just had a general feeling of not feeling well. I seem to be a little more energetic this morning. With that in mind I have a big list of things I want to get done. I really don't enjoy spring cleaning when the weather is gloomy and cold, but I want to get a headstart on this year.
I am doing really well on my program, all things considered. My biggest obstacle so far has been eating all of my daily points. I usually start out in the morning feeling like I can't have a big breakfast because that will run me short on points later in the evening. I plan for the evening way ahead of time, so I am not sure why I feel like that lol. I don't like getting to the end of the day and thinking I have to eat something even if I don't feel like it ... just to get ALL of my points in. I know this will change as I lose weight and the daily points go down. So, for now I am just trying new things. Yesterday I made a list of all the foods I like that are healthy. My plan is to use that list to make my menus. The list also has a column for "healthy snacks". So, at a first glance I can add something to my meals if need to and also have the option for a healthy snack if I desire one.
Another obstacle for me is the fact that I suffer from IBS, which makes eating a LOT of raw food tricky for me. I have had a little bout of that as well this week. I am determined, however, that nothing is going to keep me from doing this. I just cut back on the amounts of raw fruits and veggies that I ate for a couple of days and that seems to have helped.
Another week almost gone.. along with another month. I have to say, I am so happy to see January go. I really dislike cold weather. This winter has been an enormous hardship for me in ways I won't go into, but I am ecstatic to get back to warmer weather! I love spring and the hope that it brings. It's like a brand new world. I love to see the color come back.
Enough daydreaming......its time to get busy!
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