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Back away from the brownies!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Still battling with the emotional eating today. Not that I have totally blown healthy eating out of the water, but I had this strong desire to bake brownies. I even turned the oven on to preheat. Thankfully I backed away from the stove and made a different choice. Instead of baking brownies I decided to pause and really think about WHY I wanted them. It didn't take too long to figure it out. Everyday I wake up to the pressures of time running out. I am looking for a job... trying to figure out my finances... making life-changing decisions about the divorce. It honestly feels like I am living in an hour glass and the sands are constantly shifting beneath my feet. Ughh.....I really can't wait until this is all behind me. As I said before, change has never been easy for me. In fact, I tend to fight it... even when it is for the best. I have become so used to living with "better the devil you know, than the devil you don't know".. I wake up everyday asking God to please give me the strength to make the changes I need to make and to make them wisely.

  
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MELLIESUE13 1/17/2013 5:31PM

    Thank you everyone. Every word has helped me through this day!
I have been trying to deal with all this stress by keeping busy and coming here when I can. It definitely has has helped with just being able to vent.
I managed to stay busy through the day. First by submitting two more resumes, then by working on some crochet projects I had going, and then making a few inquires about other job possibilities, last of all but certainly not least..... I took a nap lol. Sooooooo...... I made it through the day :) (so far anyway lol)
Thanks again for all your kind words and ideas..

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MARIANNE9855 1/17/2013 2:46PM

    it is very hard when you have been used to a certain amount of stability in your life and you are now committed to making the huge change to become healthy.
Last time I went to the dr (who I have known a long time and really like) I told him all the stress I have been under and how I had been doing terrible gaining even more weight. He very kindly said- there is too much going on in your life to try and diet now. What I realize is that I can't use that as an excuse any longer because there will always be another crisis coming and I can't afford to let my physical health suffer and more. there are no more excuses we need to take care of ourselves.

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PROVERBS31JULIA 1/17/2013 1:52PM

    Or hey, maybe you can make some healthy brownies - try using some substitutes like applesauce instead of the oil, and some of the nuts with healthier fats (like unsweetened coconut, or walnuts or pecans or almonds, something you like, assuming you like nuts), Maybe use the nicest dark chocolate you can find? Just make a small batch of brownies, mindfully selecting the best quality good for you ingredients that you can afford. After they have baked and cooled, mindfully cut them into 9 or 12 squares and wrap each square as beautifully and carefully as you can, as if you were purchasing it from a gourmet brownie store!! Then freeze them. Then just once a day or once a week when you are feeling in need of a mental hug for the good things that you've been able to accomplish (exercise, tracking, water, sleep, etc), mindfully take out one of the brownies out of the freezer and prepare it on your nicest dish (or plastic ware or paper plate or whatever!!), warm it up, and treat it to yourself. That way you have the calming traditions of baking some brownies for the mental "warm fuzzy" of good memories or of love and comfort to yourself, but you're not just gonna go face down and eat up the entire pan of brownies all at once.....

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That's what I should have done after my divorce - but that happened some 15-20 years ago, long before SparkPeople even started!!

I totally understand that it is frustrating with all the day-to-day unknowns that pop up during the divorce process, the lob-shots by the ex-to-be's lawyer, searching for a job, looking for a new place all of that. It's a whirlwind, and I know I can trace some of my weight gain from that point of time (and I was so desperate I didn't bother with baking brownies, I just scarfed down entire half-gallons of ice cream!!)

So take care of yourself, and if one brownie after a meal is a comfort to you, work it into the Plan - there is a way!! Ya just got to think it through and find it!

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Julia

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KATHRYN74 1/17/2013 1:31PM

    Well written.
One of the things that has helped me when life throw curveballs is as simple as to count your blessings.
Some days its as simple as breathing. Others things your thankful for you can go deeper.

Keep believing.


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BMELT2013 1/17/2013 1:27PM

    emoticon Maybe you could find something else to do to fill that time you would have spent baking brownies. Like go for a walk, journal , take a bubble bath and relax or take up a hobby. Sometimes it helps me to find something to keep my mind off all the stress and temptation. You did great by resisting temptation!

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Where do I begin?

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Ever have a time in your life where you have so many life changes to make you don't know where to begin? That's where I am NOW. I woke up this morning determined to work on those changes and managed to get myself completely overwhelmed!

1. I am currently going through a divorce after being married for over 30 years to the only man I ever loved. I can't tell you how life-altering and painful this has been.

2. I lost my mother last year to a battle with cancer.

3. I need to find a job in an economy where there are NO JOBS!

4. I have a chronic back problem that at times totally immobilizes me with pain. THUS .. .I need to lose this weight.

Now.. the question is... WHERE do I begin? :(

  
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MELLIESUE13 1/16/2013 4:54PM

    Thank you for your comment Albert.....that's exactly what I am trying to figure out. But, where do I begin? At times it does seem exciting, but at the same time, its very fearful. Or at least it's fearful for me lol. Change has never been easy for me....but its MY time. My kids are both grown and I do believe that God has a plan for me.

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ALBERT3333 1/16/2013 11:42AM

    Begin by realizing that the universe (G-d, higher power, fate) is cutting you lose from your obligations and entanglements. You no longer have a mom or hubby to take care of, worry about or be responsible for. That means you get to focus just on you. Now figure out why. Does this free you up to travel, spend time alone to get to know yourself, enter new relationships and situations? Why are your restrictions and obligations gone at this time and what are you supposed to do about it.
Its very exciting! emoticon

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Life..

Monday, January 14, 2013

Today has been a really difficult one for me. I have had so many life-changing events over the last year. I was definitely happy to see 2012 GO. In fact, I was so looking forward to 2013... and yet here I am struggling still with my emotions on day 14 of the new year. I wish I could just wake up and have everything in my life "fixed". I know thats not going to happen, but it would be nice to at least wake up and have at least one area of my life in control.
I really never thought I was an emotional eater... but having the time to reflect now on my eating habits and patterns, I can say with certainty I AM DEFINITELY AN EMOTIONAL EATER.
Today was a total disaster with my diet. I am not silly enough to think that ONE day is going to make or break me. But, still its an obstacle in my road to success.
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LORIMAGI5 1/15/2013 12:30PM

    I empathize with you - I, too, have been an emotional eater. A good friend of mine recently led me to Mike Dooley's "Notes from the Universe," which led me to Rhonda Byrne's "The Secret," a film and book. I'm reading the book right now. If you can check this book out from the library or purchase it, go for it :) The general idea, which at first may seem fanciful or to be wishful thinking (but it's not), is that what we think becomes our reality. Our thoughts are a frequency. For example, if I think, "I'm so fat. I have so far to go in my weight loss," then I will believe I am fat, that I have so far to go in my weight loss, and then I will BE so fat and have so far to go, as long as I keep thinking those thoughts.
But when I wake up and say, "I am a healthy 137 pounds (my goal weight), I am beautiful, I have so much energy, and I am at my goal!" then that is the frequency I send out, and that is what I will get back.
Hang in there, keep connecting with folks on SP (and anyone else who helps you feel positive and good about you), and your happiness will come.

In Love, Peace and Blessings,
Lori emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CRYSTALLULLABY 1/15/2013 8:38AM

  I am also an emotional eater. Some days are better than others - it does get easier to "handle" as you go forward. I hope that today brings you some sunshine. You've been honest about everything - that's a great big step and deserves emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MELLIESUE13 1/15/2013 12:21AM

    Thanks everyone for your comments and encouragement. I really appreciate it :)

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LIFEJUGGLER 1/14/2013 6:36PM

    Know that you are not alone. We all deal with obstacles, some bigger, some smaller. The great thing about SparkPeople is the fact that we all are striving to improve our lives making them healthy and strong. The only time we fail is when we fall and decide not to get up. So get up, dust yourself off, own your behavior, think about what you can do differently the next time. Live and Learn. You can do this. I know you can. emoticon emoticon

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AMYBUTLER10 1/14/2013 6:21PM

    You can do it. Don't give up

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AJB121299 1/14/2013 6:12PM

    good luck

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