MELAYAHM   21,025
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MELAYAHM's Recent Blog Entries

Demeaning men - not what you might expect.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

I'm not sure if this will get censored or not. It's not meant to be rude, or offensive, but I just need somewhere to get this off my chest, and Facebook is probably not the place, seeing as my partner, daughter and friends are on there too.

It's about peeing. Specifically, about the fact that men find it demeaning to sit to pee like women do. So what does that say about how they see us? It's demeaning Because it's the way that women do it. That's all. Even gay men pee standing up, so there's even some solidarity there between homophobes and gay men. But pee like a girl? Unthinkable, unless there's a medical reason I suppose, and even then, they'd probably feel shamed and humiliated the whole time they had to do it that way.

I realise that I'm getting all het up about something so trivial most people have never even thought about it. It comes about because of my job, because of having to clean up after men who piss on the floor because they can't always aim at a urinal, or even something as large as a toilet bowl, properly. They say that it is just how it is, and it's pretty much inevitable. As is, apparently, the inability to clear it up afterwards, as if it's inevitability means it's okay to just leave it for someone else to deal with. And I was talking about this with my partner this evening and when I said 'because it's demeaning to sit like we do' , he said 'damn right'. And so now, I just want to scream, I want to roar at him What Does That Make Us? Meaning women. So many men talk about equal rights for women, how Right On they are, with us Sisters, and yet this is what they think. (I won't go into the prostate exam issue here, but that's another one that gets me furious). I don't know what to do right now, I want to go out, start running to burn off the fury. Sorry if this has offended anyone, I don't really expect anyone to read it anyway. Just needed somewhere to vent.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FANNISHMOM 8/27/2013 8:25PM

    I'm always telling male relatives to leave my son alone because he'd rather sit to pee than stand. The only time he likes peeing standing up is if he has to do it outside. (Evidently, it is different if you can pee in the grass) My husband actually worried he'd get teased when he went off to school because he wouldn't stand and pee. Guess what? No one has said anything and he's going into second grade.

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MELAYAHM 8/27/2013 3:00PM

    Feeling quite tearful at people's comments. Jerseytaurus, yes, I know women can do it too, and not just pee, but after 3 years of doing both genders, well, where I work, it's definitely the men/boys who are worse. Time to Shine, I'm not sure it was playful, actually. But possibly it was a reaction to head off an anticipated rant on my part, unaware of how angry it made me. And GK, mine doesn't turn the light on, nor does he lift up the seat. Many's the time I've gone to the loo after him in the night and got wet backs of the thighs. Diane...???

Comment edited on: 8/27/2013 3:01:12 PM

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DIANE7786 8/27/2013 2:56PM

    Put a container of Cheerios nearby. They will never miss!

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THE_SHAKESHAFT 8/27/2013 2:36PM

    I don't have any problem with it. Especially if I'm feeling lazy or drunk :p

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GK1963 8/27/2013 2:32PM

    I am so with you on this. My step son can not seem to aim - and he is 17. It's like he stands with his hands behind his back and whistles a tune while he looks around. When he is called on it, he says ' oops sorry, my bad" ---Pardon Me????? There are constantly drips and dribbles to be cleaned up - and you can bet your sweet patootie it isn't the dripper and dribbler that does it.

And guys - if you sat down, you wouldn't have to turn the light on when you stumble into the bathroom at 2 am to make your bladder gladder.

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JERSEYTAURUS 8/27/2013 2:30PM

    Venting is a good thing. I've cleaned many a men's toilet or two in my years working in maintenance. Not fun. Yes, it's one thing to aim and miss ... but it's awful when it gets left there for someone else to deal with. Unfortunately, it happens in all bathrooms regardless of gender.

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TIME_TO_SHINE1 8/27/2013 2:27PM

    I think that maybe his Damn right might have been playful. I know my husband says that sometimes just to get me going more, its weird I know. I know what you mean about having to clean up after men who can't aim, I was a housekeeper at a hotel before. I am sorry I can't relate more this type of thing doesn't bother me much. Glad you found a place to get it off your chest though. emoticon

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Backsliding

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Weeell, I have been backsliding terribly, ever since Christmas really, and it's showing. I'm now 6 lbs heavier than I was before Christmas, and it's not even all about the Christmas chocs although my other half finally opened his tin of Roses, and that's been bad). I've been tempted by the Kitkat chunky limited editions, and chocolate brazils in the 1 shop. And, not exercising as much, apart from work, and fitting in a half hourish workout during the half term holiday. I might be full of good intentions in the morning, when I'm at work, but once I get home I just feel so pooped, I really don't feel like getting all hot and bothered, even though I know intellectually that I'll feel better if I do work out. It's like when I'm eating chocolate, I can hear the wiser part of my brain going, 'no, don't eat that, you know you'll regret it, you know it's 240 calories that you probably won't work off.' and yet my fingers keep on opening the packet and once that gorgeous sweetness hits my tongue, that's it. I know that resisting the first bite is a lot easier than resisting the second, not just because of the logical, 'if you don't have the first, you can't have the second' but because once the taste is there, the craving is waaay stronger than before I took the first bite. I know it geths harder to resist when I'm feeling a bit tired, or worse, depressed. Then, I just don't give a F*** anyway. And a bit of it is the cold grey weather. I have the feeling it will be easier once its' warmer and brighter, after all, I did start on SP at the end of April and my motivation seemed to be fairly strong then. Come on spring, hurry up!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YAGERMONSTER 3/4/2013 3:33AM

    I always feel that I'm burning the most weight after February until September to prepare myself for the gain of the rest of the year. October candy, plus the Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners really jack my weight up. Why did the parents of my wife separate, that makes two dinners for the holidays on her side and one on mine. hahaha. The weather definitely factors in, my dogs love to walk with me (except in the winter).

It just makes the journey harder and our commitment stronger.

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PINKANGEL73 2/24/2013 5:32PM

    Well I've not been gaining but I have been stuck on a plateau since Christmas so nearly as bad!

Maybe the fact that I know just what you mean about the Kitkat chunky limited editions has something to do with it too! Loving the coconut one. emoticon

We need to get a grip Melayahm - come on emoticon

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MELAYAHM 2/24/2013 12:42PM

    Glad I'm not the only one! I did actually go to the gym this afternoon, did some running, cross trainer, weights, and stretching. I hate it when They are right, as in, 'they say that doing exercise makes you feel better'. It's true, and yet somehow, it's so hard to remember when I finish work and should do at least a little 20 dvd workout.

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LYNNA1968 2/24/2013 10:05AM

    WOW your blog could be mine, same issues, the cold, grey, hostile weather totally puts me in a funk. I'm finally starting to get the MO JO feeling back. I hope the warm inviting weather hits you soon!!! Then you can give the chocolate the finger and send it on its way emoticon emoticon

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Chocolate

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Although most of the Christmas chocolate has gone now, there's still some around, and if it's there, I find it extremely hard to resist, even more so now after having eaten it again through Christmas. I knew that this would happen, it really is a bit like alcoholism, but how do you say to people don't give me chocolate unless you hate me? ( see, I need to learn proper assertiveness skills, I know that this is not a good way to phrase it!) Hopefully though, if Stu remains on his Fitbit kick, he won't give me chocolate at Easter, which is the next hurdle, although his mum undoubtedly will. She has indeed, already said, 'you don't need to lose any more weight though, do you'. A statement, not a question. Like she knows best. Do I sound bitter? I suppose I do, because I know that people give chocolate as a gift, it's supposed to be a good thing, and I do love it, but I don't want to, and they are not helping. Should I just throw it away? I took the tin of Roses his mum gave me, in to work and most of it was eaten by the IT guys, but I still had a few. Should I just do this with all chocolate I'm given and tell friends and family at Christmas and Easter, 'if you give me chocolate, I'm going to take it into work for other people to eat, so if that's what you want, go spend your money?'


I need to go and play some Skyrim

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINACHST 1/10/2013 9:12AM

    My mom's one gift she gives every year is that meat log. We just say thank you, take it home and regift it to someone who would appreciate that type of gift. If we cannot find anyone who would then we toss it.

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MELAYAHM 1/9/2013 11:52PM

    Thank you for your replies. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who can't resist it if it's there! I see all these posts about cravings and people who say 'I just have a little bit to quell the craving.' That would never work for me especially when I'm tired like I am lately. I'll do the take it to work thing more in future.

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BRADIA 1/9/2013 6:15PM

    Taking it to work is what I did many times, but I started to tell my loved ones that they were not showing me their love giving me chocolate because they needed to understand that on the long run, I ate it all and the damage was my weight gain. So, perhaps very suave, not harshly, you may tell your closest ones to avoid giving it to ou, or, as you say, make them consciuos you will try to pass it along to others.

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PINKANGEL73 1/9/2013 4:55PM

    I love chocolate too! No-one bought me any for Christmas - but I bought some myself for the two of us. What can I say? emoticon

Nearly all gone now and I'm trying to limit myself to a bit each day and only if I also eat fruit. emoticon

Hey it was Christmas - guess I'm lucky it doesn't trigger binges for me.

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SEEINGCLEARLY53 1/9/2013 3:00PM

    I so understand,,,,if it's in the house....it's too tempting for me too. I would do exactly what you did,,,,,take it to work! emoticon

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PARKERB2 1/9/2013 2:50PM

    Sometimes, keeping quiet is the best thing. Just accept the gift and then take it elsewhere where you don't have it around you, like the office, where others can enjoy it. You will feel better than if you tell them not too, it may hurt someones's feelings and just create friction. Everyone wins. By the way, when others bring things here at the office, I save them for the Dh as he is ok on weight.

Comment edited on: 1/9/2013 2:51:20 PM

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LUV2SURFCHIC 1/9/2013 2:48PM

    Either take it in to work (give it away) or throw it away. I agree; I can't resist it if its around the house.

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Partner joining in

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

My partner Stu bought himself a Fitbit One just after Christmas. It was on his wish list, but I didn't fancy spending 80 for something he'd probably use for a week and then lose interest in. so hes started using it, and he's started asking me how many calories were in our dinner! I find it amusing that he's started into this world I started into 6 months ago. It's a good thing, and perhaps with us both doing it, some of it might rub off on our daughter. Of course, there is the envy in me, that he is waay better at not eating sweet things than I am.

  
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SCAREWALDORF 1/9/2013 2:47PM

    Great news!

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December 27th

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Weeell, I weighed myself this morning, for the first time since the 25th, and, surprisingly, hadn't put on anything since then, despite having eaten lots of things I shouldn't. I don't know how long it takes for food to be metabolised into pounds, maybe it will show up in a day or so. But today, I must start being strong again, resisting the choccies and biccies that are all around me if I possibly can, and also try to fit in a bit of exercise. I can't bring myself to do any keep fit videos whilst my partner and/or daughter are around, but I should be able to squeeze in a few balances, wall press ups, squats etc here and there. It's interesting that I do miss it, that I feel sluggish and stiff having missed a few days of it. The weather here has been atrocious all through Christmas, as any Brits know. Walks by the river were right out, as the river is now in the surrounding fields! I may brave the sales today, plus I have a cheque to put into the bank, and I want to get some new jeans etc as my old ones are too big, yaay! Except of course, size 14 is probably them most popular size so there won't be many to choose from, reduced. I got one pair from my mum for Christmas and they fit so nicely, I don't want to take them off.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GHOSTFLAMES 12/27/2012 4:59AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WILMA102 12/27/2012 4:51AM

    I love your attitude I hope it's catching

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MELAYAHM 12/27/2012 4:20AM

    thank you!

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MCAFEE34 12/27/2012 4:00AM

  I enjoyed reading your blog

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