Thursday, May 16, 2013
It has been a pinch over three and a half years since my surgery. I lost about 130 pounds and kept it all off for a long time. Then I had a small gain that my doctor told me I should expect (around 5 lbs.) I kept that weight until about 6 months ago and then I started to slowly creep up until suddenly I stepped on the scale and saw that I had gained 24 pounds from my lowest weight and 20 pounds from where I had hoped to stay. WHOA!!
Time to look at what I am doing, what have I changed, what habits have I fallen back into.............. and sadly it looks like I have fallen a fair amount in those lifestyle changes.
My Rules of Successful Weight Loss/Maintenance
1) Eat a protein rich breakfast every day.
CHECK still on track
2) Plan and east a healthy lunch 500 calories or less
NOPE I am back to my lazy unplanned snack on what you can find habits
3) Eat a healthy, protein rich supper
MOSTLY My hubby cooks simply, meat and veggie, but we do eat at fast food at least once a week, usually a Saturday lunch
4) Water, no diet soda
NOPE I started slowly and now am loving my diet Pepsi again.
5) Snacks are limited to high protein, low cal, small serving options, night snacks limited
NOPE I am snacking at work, snacking in the evening, they are not low cal and I often have seconds...or thirds.
6) Exercise minimum of three times a week. (I was jogging three miles 3 times a week and doing wii core exercises twice a week.
NOPE In the winter I downhill ski twice a week and in the summer I ride my bike to work when it is nice (and I feel like it.)
7) Track every bite you eat
Okay, looks a little grim, so what will I change?
1) Lunches- back to planned healthy lunches. I'll keep protein shake fixings at work so if I ever forget or get pressed for time I will have a healthy option to snacking.
2) Diet Soda- I am going to try a compromise, water during the day and a diet soda as one of my snack/treat in the evening. Limit- one per day.
3) Snacks- Keep high protein bars an fresh fruit at work for a planned afternoon snack. Keep low cal options at the house (sugar free popsicles, yogurt, string cheese, nuts. Measure portion sizes and NO seconds.
4) Exercise- I signed up for yoga twice a week, will commit to riding my bike to work except when it simply isn't an option, and will pull out the WII at least once a week. I know I should commit more here but honestly if I do what I have suggested it will be a big step up. I am hoping that by getting into at least some movement I might start adding more like I did after surgery.
5) I put my new weight and weight loss goals onto my spark pages and will begin tracking my eating and exercise.
6) Once a week I will weigh in and take time to see how I have been following my rules.
So there, now I have a plan, I hope that I can move forward and do what needs to be done. The old obese evil devil in me keeps reminding me of all the failures I had pre surgery and there were sooooo many of them. But, I lost 130 pounds with surgery, exercise and determination. That may have slipped a bit but I believe it is still there inside me.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
It has been almost two years since my surgery and about a year that I have been maintaining within 5 lbs. of my lowest weight. I started slipping up the scale recently so decided I needed to pay attention again, record my intake, get back to the "rules" and get back to that low weight number. I have been feeling a little down that all of a sudden I have been thinking so much about food, hungry more often and indulging more. Like everyone who was morbidly obese and manages to escape I do not want to go back and to see that slippery slide is scary.
So, anyway, after two years I don't often have non-scale victories any more. People are used to the new me, I am fairly used to the new me. But... yesterday I saw someone I had not seen in a long time. She is a "snowbird" and back for the summer. She was standing with someone talking and suddenly she turned and came up to me to tell me that she had not recognized me until she was told who I was. She told me how wonderful I looked and said, get this.... I looked like a kid. She said it twice in fact with astonishment in her voice. Now, mind you, I am 61 years old, being told I look like a kid is enough to put a big smile on my face!
Today, I got on the scale and two of the excess pounds are off, now only 4 to go to get back to my weight before I started to slide. It is funny how a few words can remotivate you and give you the uplift you need to keep moving forward. Maybe I should send her a thank you note!
Monday, July 11, 2011
I thought I was back before, but it seems I was just stopping by. I can't promise that it is any different now, except I want to start logging my food intake for a while again and this is the best place to do it.
I am not sure how much I am eating now but I am sure that it is more than before. Now, considering some of those days gone by, that is a good thing. And considering that I decided I was in maintenance I needed to up the calories a bit. BUT, I think I have gone past maintaining and into gaining. I was at 159 for a very long time. Now I fluctuate between 161 and 164. I am not totally unhappy with that but I feel like if I cannot get back to 159 it is a slip away from where I need to be, a slip away down a long and difficult gaining slide, a slip into failure.... again. So, to start I am going to log my food for a while... not making changes yet, just getting a sense of how bad I have gotten. Then I will know where I need to make changes.
Of course I already know some of the changes I need to make. I need to cut back on the "treats" I have begun to allow myself daily. Now and then is okay. I planned on enjoying myself and my eating and was willing to accept a slightly higher weight to do it. However, I am feeling a pinch out of control and that more than anything is what I need to get a handle on. Allowing a treat is one thing, not being able to stop myself is another thing entirely.
The other change I need is to get regular exercise back into my life. I exercise sporadically and none of it high intensity like my tread mill. I know that if I just got back into that exercise habit the food choices would not matter as much because I would be burning so many more calories. And it is the exercise I am having the biggest problem with.
I have always said that I would not do plastic surgery but I must confess that after I got used to this new body, and started enjoying new clothes I am beginning to think about a tummy tuck (a pannulectomy.) I have actually seen two plastic surgeons. One suggested the pannulectomy and the other a tummy tuck with a full upside down T cut. I don't want that much scarring though so if I decide to move forward it will be the pannulectomy involving the upper and lower flaps of skin. My insurance will not cover it though so I need to decide if I want to spend that much money on "vanity." There is a part of me that hates seeing that flap hanging over my size small pants and there is another part that says, hell, that is minor, remember what it USED to be?? I don't know. My husband says he will support whatever I decide to do as long as I don't turn into Phyllis Diller or Joan Rivers. I laugh but then I think about it... well, there are the flapping arms, the turkey wattle neck, it would be easy to want to fix everything. When does it stop? Will I be satisfied if the tummy flap is gone or will I just start looking at the arms, or neck or legs.
Oh well, this is quite a ramble. I needed to connect with Spark and cnnect with my thoughts about what I really want and where I want to go. Re-motivate and re-imagine!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
First, I decided to focus on the positive instead of the negative with my title. It could have been, 84 days and I haven't lost a single pound but I am happy where I am and will be estatic to remain here. It is the re-gain that sneaks up on you and steals your confidence. I have to fight it every day and some days I don't fight it so well, so to say that I weigh the same now as I did at my last entry is a positive thing.
Second..... EIGHTY FOUR DAYS???? How did that happen? I have seen it with those ahead of me in the journey... as you get closer to goal and further out from surgery you become less obssesed with the new life as a post surgery person and more into your new life as a thinner person. When that happens we tend to spread our wings and fly without quite the same need for the safety net of reassurance and like minded friends. But as we all know, the battle never ends and so I really want to work at staying involved with my friends here on Spark. (As soon as I finish here I am coming to check up on you all and see how you are doing! I can't wait to find out.)
I had my second EGD. I expected them to stretch my pre-surgery stricture of the opening into my stomach (caused by scarring from GERD.) Instead they had to stretch the exit from my stomach. It is no wonder I had problems eating, with strictures into and out of my stomach. I may need another procedure. They do not like to stretch too much at a time to avoid tearing of the tissue. They gave me photos of the esophagus, the opening into, the opening out of (before and after stretching) and I was amazed to see the staples at the exit. You intellectually know they cut into your stomach to make a new exit but seeing those staples really made it real. How cool is it that we have this option to make a major health and life style change? How cool is it that we have the medical ability to do soooooo much with surgery, not just the bariatric surgeries, but all of them. Wow.
I still want to get to 150 lbs. but now think I should aim for 155. Either way, my motivation isn't there. My brain says get to 155 then even your up days will be a normal BMI. My body doesn't seem to care because I don't put the same effort into it as before. I never made the decision to go into maintanence. I think that when I hit 159 and was a normal BMI I somehow subconciously made the transition. As some of you have mentioned, there is the added weight of the excess skin. A plastic surgeon estimated that for every 100 lbs. you lose, there is around 15 lbs. of excess skin. So, if I subtract 15 lbs. from my 159 I am at 145 in terms of body and fat weight. Since the skin weight won't leave unless cut off maybe I should consider that functionally I am closer to 145 than 159. Am I rationalizing here?? Everytime I think about this some little voice says, "You lazy slug, you are just making excuses for not losing those extra pounds you want to lose."
I don't plan on having the excess skin removed. I'd like it gone, but hey, I am a couple months shy of 61 my skin elasticity ain't what it used to be. I look at my naked self in the mirror sometimes. Some days all I see is the stomach flabby skin and the bat wings, and worse the turkey wattle under my chin. I am disgusted those days and say I am going to find out if my insurance will cover removal of the stomach flap at least. Some days though, I look and marvel that I have a waist line again! There is a space betwen my thighs again. I don't look FAT anymore. Those are the days I like best. Those are the days when I tell myself that stomach fat can be hidden under looser tops and batwings and turkey wattles are battle scars of a successful weight loss war.
I haven't measured myself in a while, I keep meaning to but hey, it's just numbers in some ways. It is exciting to see those before and after numbers though, isn't it? I started at 279 and am now 159... 120 pounds down. I am a healthier happier woman. I love it when my hubby grabs me and says, "Hey, skinny....." Life is good.
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