Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Well, I think that I've recovered from yesterday. I had a really bad day and instead of talking about today (which was nice & normal) I'm going to talk about yesterday. I was totally stressed about having all these people in my house! The Rogers technician was coming, and Julie, Jason, Aaron & Marta were coming to bring Jason's stuff for me to store (in his old bedroom). Well, aside from never knowing if & when my phone & internet were going to work, I was really upset about having all these people in & out. Don't ask me why - I KNOW it sounds really weird & really wimpy! But, the fact is - it stresses me. I don't seem to be able to overcome this particular stress. Maybe if someone came in & out everyday I'd get used to it - but I doubt it. I think I'd just crawl under a rock somewhere to be alone. I'm not a hermit or anything - and I really like and respect people - I just don't want them in my "safe place". Didn't really know I had one, until people started invading it LOL! I'd like to know why I feel this way. I guess I was always a little uncomfortable with company that I didn't plan myself. I like it when I decide to invite them - I have a lot of fun entertaining, but it seems that it has to be my decision. I remember my parents having TONS of company when I was growing up and I LOVED it! I always helped my Mom with everything and enjoyed socializing. But, there again, it was planned. I can't pinpoint a time that I started thinking of my place as "safe". it just sort of evolved I guess. It reminds me that I'm not like everyone else. Like Julie said, there's a reason I'm not working (OMG, I can't even imagine the stress of being at a job everyday!) I know I couldn't do it - all those people, deadlines, criticisms, gossip... I know there's also the upside - the friends, laughter, comraderie, feelings of accomplishment and praise. I'm weird, for sure. Working sounds like fun - I did work, and I did love parts of it. But now, I don't even feel good about having people in my place. I wonder what happened. I need to find out.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Well, I'm glad I like exercising because the TV right now is AWFUL! Everything is either reruns or not worth watching! And worst of all, I don't even have a good book to read - lots of lousy ones, but no good ones - YIKES! I hate being without a book! Today I had my heart tests - actually I've still got the Holter monitor on - until tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. After the tests, Julie, Mom & I went to Walmart. After we dropped Mom off (which is so much more than it sounds LOL!) I went to the gym to try and get my heart to flutter...it did, thank goodness! Now, it's recorded and they can tell me not to worry about it, to keep on doing what I'm doing! They said that if everything's O.K. with all the tests, my doctor would get the results in about 10 days. If I hear from her before that, it's bad news. Nice way to put it, eh LMGO! Well, I think I'll disconnect my phone for the next couple of weeks LOL! I'm really not worried...it's just that you think about things and...well, my Dad's first heart attack was when he was 55. He seemed kind of old to me at the time. I wonder if my kids see me the way I saw him age-wise. Well, I'm erally tired. Sleep well everyone and cross your fingers that I win 6/49 tonight!
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Today was the family reunion and I had a blast!!! Mom didn't come, and it was good, because it did rain, both at the party and (HARD!) on the way home. It would have freaked her out. I was so touched that they waited for us to do the ceremonial cake and tea! They didn't get my e-mail that Mom wasn't coming, so they had a parking spot for us in the driveway with Mom's name on it! Everyone was so nice - all of us on our best behaviour! I had 3 people tell me that I looked great (Janet, Joanne & Scott) and I think they really meant it! That made me so happy. I guess I really wanted someone to notice, but I don't think my loss is noticeable yet, so I didn't expect it. The (mainly) 2 generations are getting to know each other a lot better now, so things clicked much better than last year. As expected, the food was great. For me, Julie's cheesecake was a lifesaver because I was really in the mood for dessert - plus it was not only low fat/calorie, it was also delicious! Jason & Marta brought me some cherries just because they knew I loved them - I thought that was really sweet! Well, it was a wonderful day and even thought I was looking forward to it - it was BETTER than I ever expected! I was so happy that Julie had a good time - no, not happy, ecstatic! I really wanted her to have fun, after all, if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have been able to go at all. So, thank you "a million" (LOL), Julie! I owe it all to you! Good night all. I wish everyone could feel as content as I do tonight! Thank you, God, for all the wonderful people in my life.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Jason was in a car accident today. Thank God, he's alright! A cab did a U-turn right into the driver's side of his car. He was in shock when I talked to him an hour later, but he went to the hospital and he sounds a little better now (it's been 7 hrs. now, too). Boy, were we all lucky today to still have him with us! Tomorrow is finally the family reunion- woohoo! Although Mom's not going now, I'm still really excited. Jason says he's still coming and he's determined enough that no matter how he feels, he will! I pray that Julie isn't dreading it the way she was. I really want her to have fun and feel the closeness that our family always shared. One things for sure, there's always good food at a family get-together! They're calling for rain, but now that Mom's not coming (that's why she's not coming, actually) it's not as much of an issue - we can just go inside. Not that they wouldn't let her inside LOL - it's just extremely hard to get her wheelchair up the steps ! So, I've made my cole slaw and now I have to hem some pants of my Mom's. They're too short, so I'm making them shorter - capris! I hope they look O.K.!! Fingers crossed! Sleep well, everyone, and wish us all luck and fun tomorrow!
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