MEEMAH2013   17,271
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MEEMAH2013's Recent Blog Entries

So I am a little better today!

Monday, February 18, 2013

I was rather bummed for the last few days. And I felt like I lost all my oomph! My diet wasn't the best. My energy level was the pits. I just couldn't see beyond the fog my head was in. Well, I had a doctor appointment for stress incontinence and would up a lot worse for wear in many ways.. I found out I was really anemic with great drop in my hemoglobin/ hematicrit since my blood work two weeks ago. Upon exam the doctor found the source of my problem. And It has nothing to do with my diet! So I have two new consultations and I received 1 pint of blood today! I just can't believe my ignorance!And to think I was a nurse for over 30 years but I couldn't see the symptoms! Well folks, I am tired and I promised the doctor I would go to bed early tonight!

God bless you all for your love and support.

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2HAMSDIET 2/18/2013 10:35PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Sunday, February 17, 2013

I didn't do well today and now my dinner is sitting heavy in my gut! Seriously I really feel nauseous. I don't know if it is the meatloaf made with high fat content than I have eaten in the last few weeks combined. I forced my self to finish it and the whole baked potato! After eating quiche for lunch and banana bread to boot. I measured and stuff but it is like bricks in my tummy! OOOOOOOOh ! I hate this feeling. yuck! This is a lesson I wish i hadn't learned!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TINADEE86 2/18/2013 5:27PM

    You learned something though, I had to do it the same way. I now know I won't be doing that again LOL. This is a stepping stone for you! Keep going forward!!!!!

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2HAMSDIET 2/18/2013 12:28AM

    Oh high fat can be a real shock for the system. Fat is a real test for how well your gallbladder is doing. Log your food no matter what it is always good thing to look back on. It is what it is. emoticon emoticon

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Weekly weight is up a little, but I am only a little bummed.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

So...... I did my weekly weigh in this morning. I went up 1.4 pounds. But you know what? I'm only a little bummed. I know that this time of the month is bad on my weight. I know that I can walk up the stairs easier and are even taking my front stairs which are more difficult to go up than the front. I know that when I go to the gym later today I will be able to walk on the tread mill for at least 30 minutes. I know that I can do at least 25 minutes on the arc trainer.

But most important is that I now feel better about myself. I am anxious to lose weight because I want to do more. I want to walk in the park, I want to play football with my family on Sundays. I want to learn to river dance. I want to ride a bike in the park with my husband. Or ride the board walk when we go to the beach. I want to swim and not be ashamed of myself in a bathing suit. I want to know what it feels like to sunbath and have some one say, wow, look at her! I want to walk with confidence and I want the sense of Accomplishment.

And I will do each and everyone of those things!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2HAMSDIET 2/17/2013 7:08AM

    emoticon emoticon You are doing great with your exercise. Don't worry about the scale. Just don't give up keep the vision of your goal in your sights emoticon

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So today I was honest and I feel better.

Friday, February 15, 2013

I realize today hasn't been my best day. I realize this hasn't been my best week. But I do know that I have been honest with everything today. And I may feel sad because I didn't do what I needed to do, but I can't kid myself any more. It is hard to be honest with myself. But I am a firm believer that growth is painful. This road to a better me is hard and yes it is painful too. But I choose to learn and grow from all this. When I get to my goal weight I am going to be one skinny happy biddy!!!!

It all works together for good for those that love the Lord!!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MPETERSON2311 2/16/2013 2:56PM

    You and I have very similar blogs today! Here's to BEING HONEST, admitting fault, getting right back up again, and trying again!


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Who is my saboteur?

Thursday, February 14, 2013

It may be the face of someone dear to me. It may be the face of a friend or relative. It may be a waitress or clerk who doesn't know I am on a diet. It may even by my grand babies who want to share thier ice cream with me and wouldn't understand. But, I really don't believe it is one of them. I think my saboteur is ME!

Why, me you ask? Well for different reasons.

One reason may be because I wasn't completely honest with myself or my nutrition planner. I sure many have been like this. I may go to enter my food intake and forgot to mention that hershey kiss, or that wine cooler, or even recording one tablespoon of peanut butter when it was really two! Or entering that I measured every thing, everything that is except that extra pad of butter on our baked potato. Maybe it was an opposite in that I entered I had 5 vegetables when I only ate 2. Or I planned on eating a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese and I only ate a couple bites. In any of these cases I have been my own saboteur. It may be a matter of too many or too few calories and but the effect on my weight loss may be significant.

Another reason could be that I want everyone to think I am stronger or more fit than I am or were on that particular day. I went to the gym and instead of doing the full circuit I just did five or six machines. But I din't want to look lazy so I say I did it all. Or maybe I did do it all but only on 1/2 the weight I had been doing it to makes it super easy for myself for what ever reason. But I enter the usual weights any way. Or maybe I tried the elliptical but my thighs ached so bad I stopped at only 15 minutes. But I wrote 30 minutes anyway because I have obligated myself to track 30 minutes per day.

Yet another reason could be how my scale read today. Say I set a goal weight of 160, Ireally want to get to that weight because my reward would be something I wanted so, so bad. But when I weighed, I weighed 163! Oh, so close! Maybe I would wonder if any one would find out if I put down 160 anyway? Would they?

These might seem like little bitty things to you, but to me it could mean the success of my weight loss plan or more importantly the failure of my weight loss plan. And maybe no one else will find out, but I would know within myself and it would eat a whole in the pit of my stomach. I need to be able to look my self in the eye every morning. To know that even if I make a mistake it will work out in the end so dishonesty isn't necessary. And guess what, I will feel lighter in spirit and can be more assured in my success.

I may find someone who pushes food on me. But if I am true to myself, than it will be easier to say "No thank you anyway!" And if I feel it will truly burden the other person more by my not eating it than if I did eat it, well, I can eat a smaller portion, or even eat it all. It doesn't take much to get back on tract. And I know that I can, and will get back on tract!

So My plan for my saboteur is this. Be good to myself. Be honest to myself. Love myself no matter what. I think that is my by advise to myself. After all..........

"No one can give you better advice than yourself."
- Cicero

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TINADEE86 2/14/2013 6:00PM

    Wow I have done this myself. I feel really bad when I do. But there are times it sometimes feels easier. But we just got to keep pushing ourselves. Thank you for sharing this with us! Keep going it's worth it!

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OAKTREE10 2/14/2013 5:04PM

    oh... my.... goodness! i have done this, too! who am i trying to impress? i know all of my spark friends accept me either way and don't judge, so what is my problem? the only real person i am hurting or lying to is MYSELF, then i wonder why it doesn't show the result on the scale, or in my clothes... duh.

thank you for sharing your struggles, i KNOW you are gonna succeed, you are amazing! and very inspiring!

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MPETERSON2311 2/14/2013 4:16PM

    I completely agree with you, only about myself too!

In terms of the nutrition tracker, I am guilty of the sames things you mention, but I remind myself this is not graded, it does not need to be PERFECT. It should be filled out and honestly to see results, and if I don't see results I know what may be to blame, but everyday grants me a new day to track something correctly and accurately. I can do crazy and get super depressed trying to make that thing perfect, so I need to pick my battles.

I also do that same thing you mention for the fitness minutes and I know its just pure laziness on my part. Sometimes looking at other peoples minutes makes me a bit self conscience, but again- not a race. I can do what is comfortable for me at the time as long as its something.

I think a wise person once told me- take what Sparkpeople tools work for you and leave the rest. After all, Sparkpeople was designed to get you out and away from the trackers anyway! they promote healthy habits not perfect tracking.

You show great reflection! I know you can meet your goals.

I am rooting for ya!


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