MEEMAH2013   17,271
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Today I will start again!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Each day is a chance to start anew the paths we have traveled so far. If we do something wrong we can fix it and try again. That is if we see the mistake(s). Often I do not see the things I do wrong, yet I am condemning me to the death. Why can't I give myself a break and love myself for who I am? But I am learning. God has worked within me to be more understanding. I will make myself (starting tonight) write down all of my "wrongs" that I am aware of, then I will burn the paper! Then those wrongs will be gone and I will have a new paper to write on. I will work with that task for at least a week and see how I do. I am a good person. And I will be better yet!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUE_48 3/30/2013 1:34PM

    You will do it! We can all do it together!

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JANEMARIE77 3/30/2013 7:38AM

    emoticon

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MATSCHI 3/30/2013 2:05AM

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CBLENS 3/29/2013 3:51PM

    go with little goals, you can do it.

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MPETERSON2311 3/29/2013 10:00AM

    starting over today too- we can do it!

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LORIVIOLA 3/28/2013 10:52PM

    TOMORROW IS A NEW DAY WITH NO MISTAKES IN IT YET - Anne Shirley of ANNE OF GREEN GABLES

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this weeks goals

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

I may be a day or two behind but I remain focused on the road ahead. This weeks goals have touched me and effected me enough to start putting together next month's weekly goals. I am excited for the next month, but I remain grounded to March.

March 2013 - last week of the month!

1) consistency - review of my Spark Streaks shows that despite a few off days earlier in the month, I remain above 90%.
- Log in and spin - current 13 days longest 31 days consistency 48/53 days = 91%
- Exercise > 90 minutes/wk. current streak 11 weeks Consistency 11/11 weeks = 100%
(I think I need to increase the minutes in April to at least 120)
- 8 cups of water/day current streak 13days longest streak 28 days consistency 66/72 days=92%

So I think I did good this month with consistency!

2) Increase walking speed per 5K my way - Here I didn't do as well. I am still walking. Working on my speed, but I lost ground after my brief illness and I am still working to make it up. I haven't completed week 5 yet. I will finish it this week.

3) This remains on hold until I fully complete the 5k my way program.

4) Strength training. I am continuing to do strength training at home with bands. I have done some circuit training this week. It has been too long since I did circuit training it is as if I was starting from the beginning. I need to work on this.

5) Verse if the week: One of my all time favorites. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him that strengthens me.
I love this verse. I gives me the motivation and support when I am in the most doubt. I can do it! I will do it!

6) I have completed the tame your sweet tooth challenge! Whoo hoo! Now if I keep practicing the things I learned here I may beat it completely!

So, in a nut shell. Even though the road was a little bumpy, I am pleased with my progress. I may have regain a few pounds this past week but the lesson learned are mind blowing. I feel that considering that I have only been using Spark People for a little over two months, I have grown in so many ways. I couldn't express all the changes, but the most significant to me is that I have learned to love myself again and my friends and family have told me how much I have changed for the better. I am getting back into the loving, caring, fun and happy me once again. It amazes me how little you can care for others if you don't care for your self first!!

Thanks to all of my virtual friends and family and to the program itself for bringing me back to the person I once was that I cared for and loved, as well as loving me no matter what even if I did poorly. I have learned so much from you all and I am in that "Happy Place" once more!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANEMARIE77 3/28/2013 1:59PM

    woohoo way to go you are doing GREAT

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WALKINGIRL5 3/27/2013 11:10AM

    emoticon and emoticon Congratulations and well done with your fantastic progress!

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BEEJAY49 3/27/2013 4:28AM

    Congratulations! What the "aha" moment hits us, we are awesome! Keep up the great work! HUGS!

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SAMI199 3/27/2013 3:08AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MATSCHI 3/27/2013 12:20AM

    I love how specific you are with your goals. I can really learn from you! emoticon emoticon

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JUST_BREATHE08 3/27/2013 12:15AM

    emoticon GOALS!! emoticon emoticon

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2HAMSDIET 3/26/2013 10:40PM

    emoticon That is one of my favorite bible verses too. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Future visualization (Coaching Session 3/25/13)

Monday, March 25, 2013

Todays session encouraged visualization of the future to encourage today. Looking at future 10 years from now then visualizing what I would say to myself looking 10 years back. What would I say? That is a good question. First I must say it was easy to visualize what I would be doing ten years from now. I can see it well............

I see myself walking out of my home. It is around 5am and it looks like it promises to be a bright sunny morning. A little bit brisk, I can see my breath as I look out over the pasture at the horses in the low light of morning. They raise their heads to look at me as if they are saying good morning. I tighten my jacket and zip it up.

Stepping down I begin to walk toward the dirt road that winds around my front pasture. Slowly I pick up the pace and begin to jog. My chocolate lab runs up to greet me and falls into an easy gait beside me. He looks up at me as I smile down at him. Together we jog down the dirt road. I can hear the birds in the trees talking back and forth and often squawking at us as we disturb their sanctuary. The only other sound we hear is the sound of my feet hitting the dirt path. As we continue on we come up to the brook, loudly babbling over the rocks. It had been a long a winter and the brook is swollen due to the melting of the snow. My foot kicks a small rock as I step onto the bridge causing a "plunk" as it hits the water. It is cooler under the trees and I can still see my breath as I breath into the brisk air. As we turn the bend we notice the sun is peeking over the far hill. The dew is visible as it vaporizes in the morning rays of sun beaming on the grass. It must be around 7am by the time I reach my back porch. A good long run. I feel refreshed and ready for the day to begin. My soul is at peace. My body humming with the possibilities the day will bring.

After a quick shower I move into the kitchen and whip up a fruit smoothie as I wait for my oatmeal to cook. Sitting in the breakfast nook I begin to search through the small, well worn address book. I see the name I am searching. It is my name. It reflects the address of the apartment I lived in. Back ten years earlier in 2013. I slowly dial the number contained on the page. It is unfamiliar to my fingers. I have never called the number before. Would I be the one to answer? My stomach churns a little in anticipation. The phone rings for the third time. A fleeting thought of hanging up skitters across my mind just as the other end of the line picks up.

"Hello?" the voice says, heavy with the sound of sleep in her voice. "Hello" I respond. "I am sorry to disturb you. I just wanted to share with you the hope and excitement I feel today. You see I am actually you. I know you don't believe me, I am not sure I would have believed it either. But I want you to know that despite your doubts, you need to keep working on the healthier you. One day you will walk out of your back door and begin your ritualistic run down the old dirt road by your house. It will be worth all the hard work you will put in at the gym. All the days you work with those bands and that exercise ball will make you stronger. Even when it feels awkward or uncomfortable, you must continue to work on it. Slowly you will see the difference in the scale, as the pounds slowly fall off, melting away from the muscula. You will be amazed at the stamina and energy you feel when you work out. But don't forget the Spark People program. It will keep your momentum going even when you don't feel up to the daily sessions. You will see the work you do today will fulfill you ten times over. You will feel like you ran a good race. And you can and will look at yourself in the mirror and say it was a job well done!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIATIA1 3/26/2013 3:00PM

    Nicely written I can see it too! emoticon

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2HAMSDIET 3/26/2013 9:38AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MADAMES 3/26/2013 5:19AM

    What a beautiful narrative! They say if you can dream it you can achieve it! I believe that you will get there! The dirt road, the chocolate lab, the horses...all of it along with your good health.

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S-N-I-P 3/26/2013 5:04AM

    Great stuff, very nice
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SAMI199 3/26/2013 3:27AM

    I love this!!!! You are such an inspiration-thanks for sharing.

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SHARON10002 3/25/2013 11:32PM

    This is wonderful - so full of vivid, detail! I have no doubt that as you continue to do this, you will one day reach this goal, and it will happen pretty much as you have written it here.
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Oh Boy!

Sunday, March 24, 2013

I have so much I wanted to write but I feel I need to limit it my words so that I may catch up on some serious sleep.

Well, I am back at home. And whether or not anyone else will admit it there, are three things I always miss when I am away from home. My husband, my dog, and my toilet. (not necessarily in that order!) No two are alike and it never feels like home until you have shown all three how much you have missed them!

This last week has been a roller coaster of emotions. It has been a true whirlwind kind of week. I think the medical issues I have seen with in my family and close friends this week has blown my medical mind and shows our world moving toward a dangerous state of health. I have seen triple bypass surgery, a highly contagious viral syndrome that attacks urinary tract system to point of renal failure, a 26 year old with colon cancer, 36 year old with accidental traumatic death at work place (lumberjack accident), 3 infants with croup, 29 year old with anaphalactic shock after receiving benadryl, a fatal heart attack at age 41, and another with massive heart attack and stroke at age 52, an autistic child (age 7) with self inflicted head trauma in a coma, and finally an 80 year old with anorexia so bad she was admitted a weight of 84 lbs and she is 5'7'' (hiding weight underneath 3 pairs of sweats). Oh boy. it has been a hard week. Thank God 90% of my family believe in God and are in active prayer chains. With the exception of the fatal incidents and the anorexic, they have been released from the hospital and are in good condition. The two fatalities were active in their church and their faith! Praise God!

I have been working with counselor on my life after fifty and I believe I have come up with a great new game plan for what I want to do when I grow up! While discussing my going back to school and leaving the medical field, I have hit an emotional high for my future. I am going to obtain my small business degree so that I may own and run my own yarn shop. I was told by my counselor that I will be eligible for for financial assistance in opening my shop, based of dual minority status (woman and greater than 50% disabled veteran). She also discussed internship possibilities as part of my degree and that they also can be partially funded by VA. I was even able to add to the potential places to do the internships. One in yarn fabrication; from shearing the sheep to dying the wool and spinning the yarn. And the other in a small yarn shop in a neighboring town. It was all so exciting!

On a sadder note, I weighed 3 lbs heavier when I got home. It was for my weekly weigh in that was due on Friday. But I am not holding myself down for this. I am happy it wasn't more. This past week was a strain on my dietary habits, my exercise goals and my willpower!

SO, over all, I can see a silver lining in the clouds over my head and I know the sun is still shining despite the rain. Glimpses of rainbows have been visible on the horizon and my boat is still afloat on the sea of despair! My life jacket is buoyant and keeping me afloat. I will see the storm through! I will emerge victor in this battle of my life! I am exited to see the potential as the rainbow presents fully after the rain!


Good bye for now. My week starts again tomorrow, Monday the first day of the rest of my life!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAMI199 3/26/2013 3:25AM

    You have such a great attitude-I know you can do whatever you set out to do!

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MATSCHI 3/25/2013 10:47PM

    Thank you for sharing! You are a true inspiration! emoticon

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JANEMARIE77 3/25/2013 10:22AM

    wow and is life awesome have a great week

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CBLENS 3/25/2013 9:06AM

    Good luck this week!

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BEEJAY49 3/25/2013 4:38AM

    I feel bad for all those people, but I'm so very happy for you! I think your plan sounds wonderful and I know you can do it! :) HUGS!

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MPETERSON2311 3/25/2013 4:11AM

    Good luck! You can do it!

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MELLIESUE13 3/24/2013 10:59PM

    I have ALWAYS wanted to own my own business. In particular, a quilt/fabric shop. Who knows....... maybe when I grow up :)

I think its exciting that you finally have found not only what you want to do, but a way to make it happen!
Congratulations on your new adventure!

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2HAMSDIET 3/24/2013 10:45PM

    emoticon I will pray for you and the families. Enjoy following your dream. emoticon

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Sorry I am at my moms this weekend.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Limited computer access. So I won't be around much this weekend. I will miss everybody. I will log in and spin the wheel(s). I remembered to bring my exercise bands. I will catch up on so much Monday. I just hope I remember it all. But I promise you it will be exciteding! Love you all!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLIAN 3/29/2013 9:25AM

    Have a good weekend xxx

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MATSCHI 3/24/2013 1:27AM

    Treasure every moment and enjoy your time!

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TINADEE86 3/23/2013 11:49AM

    Enjoy your weekend! emoticon emoticon

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BEEJAY49 3/23/2013 4:28AM

    Enjoy your weekend! HUGS!

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2HAMSDIET 3/22/2013 9:50PM

    Nothing to be sorry about. We will miss you but totally understand. Have a good time with Mom. emoticon

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SISTERPRETTY 3/22/2013 9:20PM

    emoticon emoticon have a great weekend

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