MEEMAH2013   17,041
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Life is busy

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

The last to days have been stressful. Due to emergency surgery on my aunt, whom I have been really close to, I have not had 100% success at my goals. However, before I get too critical, I have had small successes. I have maintained my water intake and have consumed at least 8 glasses of water a day this week. I have also stayed under my high end calorie range even if the choices I have had to make were not the best or most fulfilling. I have still worked in some walking and strength training. I had walked the hospital parking lot to get exercise in on Tuesday and today I found room in my bag for my exercise bands and had fun trying new exercises while watching TV in the waiting room. And I have also made sure I have at least logged in everyday, even if it took me using my sisters Kindle fire to access Spark People!

And I found time to browse the yarn shop down the street. Maybe not the best use of my money however I have found a simple neckerchief pattern that I plan on producing numerous times over for the craft fair my daughter-in-law and I will be participating in this summer. It also helped tremendously with the stress factors.

As said in one of my daughters childhood movies...."that'll do pig, that'll do!"


And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MADAMES 3/22/2013 10:16PM

    Hugs and prayers for you and your family.

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DDOORN 3/22/2013 12:20PM

    Great job in Keeping the Spark! :-)

Don

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S-N-I-P 3/22/2013 11:17AM

    With so much going on and you are still focusing on SP - That is just GREAT !!
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CAROLIAN 3/21/2013 11:26AM

    Praying for you all emoticon

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MPETERSON2311 3/21/2013 11:24AM

    sounds like, despite it all, you are doing great!

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JANEMARIE77 3/21/2013 8:09AM

    thoughts are with you and you are doing great way to go we most move with with life is offering now and you are

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SAMI199 3/21/2013 6:26AM

    Sending prayers for your Aunt's speedy recovery. I love your quote from Babe.

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BEEJAY49 3/21/2013 4:28AM

    Your Aunt will be in my prayers. Taking the small steps to meet your goal is the best way to go! I'm proud of you for doing that! :) Keep moving forward, you're doing great! HUGS!

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MATSCHI 3/21/2013 12:57AM

    It sounds like in the midst of difficulties you were able to be kind to yourself. That is a good thing. Sometimes we just need to let go and let God love us. Praying for you!

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2HAMSDIET 3/20/2013 11:39PM

    emoticon emoticon I will pray for you and your Aunt. Don't give up you don't need to be perfect.

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Week of March 17-23

Monday, March 18, 2013

March Goals - a review

1) Maintain consistency in check ins/Spinning the wheel(s) throughout the Month of March.
2) Progress through the challenges in the 5K My Way challenge until it's completion.
3) Maintain a minimum of 3.1 miles 3 days a week striving to increase speed and stamina
4) Complete 30 minutes of strength training at least 3 days a week
5) Continue on in the "Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge" to it's completion.
6) Read and memorize one bible verse each week on the topic of Assurance through out the month of March!

First I want to work on consistency. I accept that I was sick. But I think if I really took a few minutes. I should have been able to at least log in and work the Coach program. I want to think about this more through out the week and see if I still feel this way five or six days from now. I may be in a self critical mood right now and I may be too tired to focus on that.

In regard to 2) and 3) I feel that considering the level of sickness I had, I feel that I may need additional time to return to the pre-illness fitness level I was at. I did well Saturday at the gym. but I wasn't able to walk as fast without being winded. So, I am going to focus on my condition then get back into working on speed and distance.

In regards to strength training, I have purchased new resistance bands. The ones I was working with were ones I had received from physical therapy and were more of a disposable nature. They worked fine for me, but my husband tried the stronger ones and they were not up to his strength. They snapped. The new one I think will be good for both of us because they are more sturdy and we can adjust the resistance to our own levels by increasing or decreasing the number of bands. I am hoping this will also give me motivation to work with them more than I was.

"Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge" I gotta admit that I haven't put as much effort into this as I should have. I am not indulging in the sweets. It is just that I don't focus on the sugar contents and making a mindful effort into knowing how sweets are effecting me. I have made a few journal entries about this but I haven't really concentrated on hits topic. It's my last week in the program and I want to make sure I get something lasting out of this challenge. I have already decided I will be revisiting this challenge at a later date.

Lastly I think I will continue to focus on 1 Corinthians 10:13 - Assurance of victory. I want to think on this more because it has been in my mind off and on and I believe that it deserves more consideration in regard to my Spark Life.

That kind of wraps up the last week and lays my work out for next week.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANNY2B2 3/21/2013 5:27PM

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DDOORN 3/19/2013 3:38PM

    Sounds great! One of my resistance bands got a little brittle and snapped after a while. Hoping the other one holds up better!

Don

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2HAMSDIET 3/18/2013 10:24PM

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MADAMES 3/18/2013 8:52PM

   
You have taken an honest look at your goals, and you have a good plan going forward. Good for you!
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SAMI199 3/18/2013 8:08PM

    You can do it-setbacks are discouraging,but when you're sick you need to rest & listen to your body. I'm cheering you on all the way!

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TINADEE86 3/18/2013 1:37PM

    You go girl!!! You CAN do this! emoticon

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JANEMARIE77 3/18/2013 7:32AM

    a plan to work with great job you can do it

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NANCYPAT1 3/18/2013 6:53AM

    You can do this. The future starts NOW.

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BEEJAY49 3/18/2013 4:40AM

    Awesome goals! You can do this! Hugs!

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Has my journey been painful so far, or adventurous?

Saturday, March 16, 2013

My Spark Coach program today asked me that question. You know, I really hadn't thought about it as adventurous. So I thought I would dig a little deeper into what it meant to be adventurous.....

ad·ven·tur·ous
/adˈvenCHərəs/
Adjective

1. Willing to take risks or to try out new methods, ideas, or experiences.
2. Involving new ideas or methods

So, Yes, it has been adventurous by definition.

When I began Spark People I didn't know what it would be like. I didn't know what I could learn. But most of all I didn't know that it would change everything about me. To even embark on the Spark People journey I had to take a risk. Was I willing to change my way of thinking in regards to food? Was I willing to change my outlook on exercise? Yes I was. I was and I am very willing to change to become the healthier woman God intended me to be.

And as far as trying out new methods, ideas and experiences, well, I was more than willing. I had realized that the way I had been living life, my eating habits, my exercise habits, my sleep habits, my socialization habits, and my view of myself as a whole was lacking to the point of my being negligent in those areas. I was failing Life 101!

The Spark People program has taken me out of my shell, placed me smack dab in the mainstream of life and said "Let's Go!" But even better, The Spark People program said "Don't be afraid, we are right there with you!" A person couldn't ask for more than that!

So, as I continue on this adventurous journey to a healthier me, I have nothing to fear, and everything to gain!

So far, as I lost pounds, I have gained a wonderful family of misfits just like me! A family that will stand by me, encourage me, and love me no matter what!

Thank God for the wonderful Spark People family and for the love they easily and eagerly share with me! Let's continue on this wonderful, adventurous journey of life!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TINADEE86 3/19/2013 12:17PM

    Keep it going! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SAMI199 3/18/2013 8:26AM

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I love your blog & am so happy to be a part of your spark family!

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MELLIESUE13 3/17/2013 11:07PM

    I enjoyed reading your blog. Very insightful. emoticon

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JANEMARIE77 3/17/2013 11:44AM

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2HAMSDIET 3/17/2013 12:13AM

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March Goals - Bible verse for Week of 3/9 to 3/3/16

Friday, March 15, 2013

Verse for this week is one of my favorite ones! Assurance of Victory!

No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to man; but he is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

Wow! What a verse. It offers so much hope for us in all aspects of our lives. I want to share a little story with you to show you Gods faithfulness!

When I graduated high school, I wanted to join the Navy. So I did and I chose to go into the psychiatry field and become a psych tech. And I enjoyed four years in that feild. I remember many a times I would sit with a patient, held his or her hand and offered the words of what I felt were comfort. You know those words "It will be OK. I know it looks bad right know, but it will get better, I promise." And I knew my position well, was good at what I did. And I understood the feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. At least I thought I did!

I left active duty and joined the Naval Reserve force as an active duty corpsman. Continues in that area of duties until 1992. That was the rough time of my life. Major depression was taking a hold of me and rattling my world.

I had it all! I was married to a wonderful man. We had four wonderful children. I was up for promotion to E7. I was told that I would be a shoe-in all I had to do is take the test and pass. Once I was before the board I had it made and I would be selected for E-7. My Commanding Officer (CO) was putting together a package for me to get the Navy Achievement Medal for outstanding performance as Quality Assurance Coordinator for the clinic I was working at. I was taking college courses on base and so far maintained a 3.9 average.

Yet, I wasn't feeling it. I didn't know what was going on. I began to shut down and shut out my world. I kept having ruminating thoughts of fatal accidents, night mares of my children being stripped out of my hands and my husband leaving me because I didn't protect my kids. It is still such a blur. Most of what I know is from what my husband has told me. Then one day, and I can't tell you what day that was, but one day I was escorted to a small plane (I worked on an airbase). My CO was in the plane with me. I vaguely remember asking him if there was a meeting we were going to, I had no idea he was taking me to the psychiatric ward of our parent commands hospital. You see I was found taking a bunch of pills while my kids were at school and my husband was working. I couldn't begin to tell you what all was there but I know they were over the counter and prescription meds. And I don't know how many I actually took. I don't even remember collecting them. I just don't know. AND to make things worse in my mind, the psych ward I was taken to had several psych techs that I had once worked with working on that ward. They were techs I had trained when they first came to my units in the beginning of my career.

Well, the point of all of this was to tell you how hopeless and helpless I had become. I had never felt like that before and to be honest, If I had to tell just what that felt like, I couldn't. I now feel that the only way you could ever understand is if you had gone though that yourself.

Upon my admission to the unit, I was placed on strict suicide precautions. I pretty much cried and slept for the first two days. All that kept going through my mind is "GOD! Where are you GOD?" I felt so alone. Abandoned. My husband and kids were over 200 miles away. "Oh, God, Where have you gone? Why have you left me? God, I need you, please?" So went the first 48 hours.

After the 48 hours of one-to-one suicide prevention, I was allowed to joined the rest of the patients in my first group session. Around the circle I saw three technician I had worked with before and get this, two patients I had taken care of when I worked as a psych tech. How humiliating to have previous patients of mine staring at me remembering how much I had helped them and yet I couldn't help myself. To look into the eyes of the techs I had trained and all I could think of is that I have to somehow help them to understand how it really felt to be depressed.

I wasn't thinking of me. Just, how I would teach them from this new perspective that just came to my mind from out of the blue! And as we all sat there. They were waiting to hear from me. To hear my story. I started to chuckled. I almost started laughing out loud. And I said to them very profoundly; "Never take a patients hand , rub or pat it gently and say "It will be all right", because you have to be here in this position to fully understand and your words will sound hollow and empty."

And then I got up from the group and returned to my little safe room. I sat on the bed and and began to PRAISE GOD! I just began to pray to My Awesome God who came to me like a warm embrace letting me know He WAS there and He had never left! HE HAD NEVER LEFT! Praise God He was there!

I very intimately continued to pray to God and now I was listening to His voice telling me what I needed to do. It was hard. I had a lot of history that had been so deeply hidden with in me that God knew I couldn't have dealt with alone. So He put me in that hospital, at that time so that I was in the caring arms of friends. Together we worked through it all and clearing out all the garbage that I had collected over the years. He gave me the way out! He had given me the victory!

He never told me that I would have another problem develop. I went into the hospital at 5'7" and 165 lbs in February 1992. In November 1992 I was at 230 lbs! (thanks to medicines) But that is another story!

----Thank you, Father, that no temptation has over taken me but such as is common to all people. You are faithful and will not allow me to be tempted beyond what I am able. Open my eyes to see the way of escape that You have provided. -----amen

I have just let my thoughts flow and I pray that this has touched you in a very special way and told you that even in the darkest hours, God is there. We are never alone. Lean on Him and Believe in Him. He is faithful and will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear. No matter how big or how small our "crisis" is, He will help us through it. No matter what the nature of the issue is, He has the answer. And He will provide us a means of escape.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2HAMSDIET 3/16/2013 11:54PM

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DDOORN 3/16/2013 10:53PM

    As a clinical psychiatric social worker with over twenty years experience at the state psychiatric hospital and since 2006 an Intensive Case Manager for the mentally ill I can tell you that one of my central beliefs held throughout my years of experience has always been: "There but for the grace of God go I or anyone of my friends or loved ones!" And there have been mighty struggles at times where I could see and feel up close the kind of struggles my clients have had through struggles of my own.

We are all human and all have our struggles at times in dealing with life and all that the world delivers to our doorsteps while pulling the rug out from 'neath us!

I'm sure your faith, compassion and kind touch was potent medicine back in your psych tech days and continues to be so too!

Don

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MOONGLOWSNANA 3/15/2013 11:47PM

  I have been there as well, and remember those feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. We are fortunate that others recognized our illness and took us to where help could be given and received. So many are lost in the world and the depression deepens. Families lose their loved ones. The lucky ones find respite, good doctors, and medications that balance their thinking so that they can begin to think clearly again. Behavior and thinking can be relearned and faulty thoughts corrected so that a relapse might be avoided. We must learn to ask when we need help, to confide in someone that can make a difference, and to find support among family and friends. It takes a community that cares for one another to help the least among us, the young and old, the sick and the poor, all people who need a helping hand and a willing heart to do whatever needs to be done.

We have "found" or been "directed to" Spark People to help us on our journey, whatever turn it might take. Here we find community, and we are grateful for one another. emoticon emoticon

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S-N-I-P 3/15/2013 4:12PM

    Amen. Yes I agree.
Thank you for sharing..

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Ok! I got that out of my system!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Now that I have reviewed my teams and caught up a little I want to review my March goals.

1) Consecutive/Consistency
I blew that, but my reasoning was valid. I can forgive myself for that and get started anew! I love a new beginning!

2) 5K My Way: Well I didn't finish my fourth week due to illness so I think I will just get out there and see what I can do today and decide where to go from there!

3) Does not go into effect until I finish the 5k My Way challenge.

4) Strength training 4x/wk has also gone down due to illness. But the is OK. Like #2 I will see where I am at now and reevaluate from there!

5) Bible verse for this week is 1 Corinthians 10/13;
No temptation has overtaken you but such is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation wil provide the way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it!

6) Tame your sweet tooth challenge. I haven't had any food for 4 days so I have had no sweets until my husband offered me a miniature reeses cup yesterday. And do you know what? It was to sweet!

Well, I will re-evaluate all this tomorrow after I see how I do at the gym tonight!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAMI199 3/15/2013 9:05AM

    Awesome-I'm so glad you are feeling better!

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JANEMARIE77 3/15/2013 7:26AM

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CAROLIAN 3/15/2013 2:52AM

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2HAMSDIET 3/14/2013 11:07PM

    You are doing great as you are still making goals and moving forward. emoticon

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BLONDIE218145 3/14/2013 7:57PM

    I'm happy you said all that.please feel better to "git er done"!

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