Tuesday, October 01, 2013
I was thinking about how much difference a little bit of kindness could make and I remembered all the tough times I have had.
I was expressing to my boyfriend that I wanted to help some homeless people and he was being so judgmental and talking about how horrible homeless people are "they choose to be homeless". Then I was able to tell him that when I was 17, I was homeless. My dad went to prison and my mom moved away. I had a duffel bag of belongings that I kept with me and I stayed a week with a friend, then another friend, my sister, the womens shelter... whatever I had to do to make it through my senior year. I wasn't a horrible person and I appreciated any help I could get. I stayed with one friend in particular and her dad was always mad at me. I either ate too much lunch meat, or I used too many towels... I was uncomfortable every day. Then I remember my first night at the women's shelter, they had strawberries! Even when I lived with my parents, we never seemed to have fresh produce. When I asked if I could have some, they told me I could have whatever I wanted and the kitchen was full of food! It was an amazing feeling. I know that people go through tough times and I want to be able to shine a little light through their dark times.
I have been through too many difficult times to list everything here, but two years ago I had a house fire and I lost everything that I had ever owned. That is another situation that could have classified me as homeless again. If it wasn't for the kindness of others, I wouldn't have anywhere to go!
Anyways, a long story short, I am working on being there for other people.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
So, things have been horrible lately. I have been eating... a lot... I have been going back to eating candy bars! I feel stressed out and apparently I still eat when I am stressed out and I still have it in my head that chocolate will make me feel better.
My daily calorie intake is too high. I need to get re-motivated. Right now I feel like I am failing, which only makes me want to eat more candy. I cant seem to have a positive attitude. I can no longer picture myself reaching my goal. This is week 4 of my healthy lifestyle change and during the first three weeks I felt good and I lost 11 pounds. I am not feeling good right now. I am not running, I am eating too much. I need some encouragement I guess.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
So, my day started out great! I am on vacation and one of the first things I did was call and pay off the only debt that I had in collections. I have been paying on it for months now and it felt great to finally get that out of the way! Then we went to the movies and I was able to avoid the concession stand and at lunch I went with one of the lower calorie options. I was proud of myself :)
Then when we came home my phone was ringing. I didn't recognize the number and I answered the call... collection agency. They said that I owed Charter over two hundred dollars! I told this man that he couldn't be telling the truth, I have charter right now and I pay my bill on time every month. I wouldn't give him any of my information because I swore it was some sort of scam.
I did have charter at another address about two years ago. That house burned down, I didn't have insurance and I lost everything. When I was setting up cable in this house they said I had an outstanding bill for the cable box that I didn't return. I explained about the house fire and I was told to bring a report from the fire station to the charter office and they would take care of it. I went to the fire station and they gave me the report, which I took to the charter office where the lady so rudely informed me that they do not do that. When I came home I called the charter 800 number again and the man apologized and said he would take the charge off of my bill and allow me to set up service.
I called Charter after I hung up with the collection agency just to confirm that it was a scam of some sort. Apparently that nice man did not make any such notes in the computer and he set me up with an entirely new account, not linked in any way to my old account. I did not know this entire time that I owed that money still! They sent bills to the house that burned down, but not to the new address where I currently have service with them.
Now, not only do I have another bill in collections, but it is over a hundred dollars more than what I originally owed! Not to mention that I was so rude to the collections agency telling them that it was not possible and that they were trying to scam me! I felt so incredibly angry, upset, stupid... and the charter company made me feel like a liar. Just because they don't have any notes in the system doesn't mean I am a liar! It just means that someone on their end screwed up. They don't allow anyone with an outstanding balance to connect new service, but I was able to get new service. I used the same social, the same name, the same phone number.... obviously there was some mistake on their part.
I probably wouldn't have been so upset if I had known about this bill, or if I hadn't just finished paying the other bill on the same day that I found out about this one! It really isn't a HUGE deal and I will call them back tomorrow and tell them that I am soooo sorry I was so rude to them and then set up a payment plan.
I just feel like I will never get out from underneath the darn ashes of that old house. If only I had renters insurance! It's horrible to lose every single thing you have ever owned and then still owe money for things years later.
The good news is: Even though my emotions had control of me, I didn't do any emotional eating. I still ate my normal dinner and nothing extra. I thought about just not running in the morning, but I am still going to wake up early and run. Things from the past are always going to come up unexpectedly and I have no control over that. The only thing I can control is how I let that affect me! I cried uncontrollably in front of my boyfriend and my children, for a long time! I couldn't get a grip! That is okay though, I finally just stopped and thought about it. How horrible is a bill that is less than 300 dollars? It is do-able, especially since I don't have the other one anymore. How horrible is it that I was rude to the man that was trying to get me to pay the bill? It is fixable, I know how to say that I am sorry and move on. Worse things could happen... Worse things HAVE happened to me in the past and I am still here today with a happy healthy family :)
Sorry for venting to you, if anyone is even reading this! It was very upsetting to say the least!
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Well, you live and you learn!
Today I drank about 90 ounces of water, but right now I feel extremely thirsty. I wonder why... NOT! My family was having pizza for dinner so I looked up the nutritional information and found that I could fit two pieces into my calorie range for today, so I did. Well, I didn't think about all that darn sodium!
I guess the lesson for today is:
Even if the calories fit, beware of the processed foods! Unless you make it at home and you know what exactly is in it, it is probably best to stay away :)
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