Friday, July 29, 2011
A picture of something you're afraid of."
For many years I had this unlogical fear - of crayfish:
August is the big crayfishmonth in Sweden - we boil them with lots of dill and eat while wearing silly hats and bibs - you should take one schnapps for each claw and there is a lot of singing... I eat them and I have been crayfishing in small creeks - but I have been hysterically afraid for live ones, could not enter the kitchen if they were still alive. My fear extended to crabs and lobster - on Arlanda Airport (stockholm) they have live lobsters in a tank you pass on your way to check in - I could hardly pass that of fear of the lobsters ... jumping out and coming after me... Totally irrational and I have no idea why. I decided to get rid of that fear and have gradually CBT - cognitive behaviour therapy - and today I am not sure that I would lift a live crayfish but I can be in the same room as them without anxiety...
The other thing I am scared of is:
very cold weather. This has a logical reason. When I was small we lived on a farm and it our house was badly isolated - when cold spells came our water and sewers froze. Living without water was ok but living without a sewer meant that there was no wc and I had to use a potty and I was really scared of slipping and falling of it and bathe in my own sh-t. Cars had no motorheaters in those days so cold weather also meant that our car would not start and I spent a lot of time pushing cars to start...
Later in life I was the manager of a 4H-farm (situated in the city for children to meet farm animals) and very cold weather meant that water pipes froze and I had to thaw it and ice by the doors made them impossible to shut. As an extra income we plowed snow so snowy weather meant that I had to wake up at five to see if it had snowed, in which case I had to go out and get the tractor started and plow a lot of snow around a school because it had t be done at 7.30 when the taxis arrived ( a school for retarded children)
Today I live in a well isolated house, cars have heaters and I am not involved with farm animals - yet I feel uneasy when the temperature falls to low.