MEDDYPEDDY   139,347
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MEDDYPEDDY's Recent Blog Entries

Again and again...

Sunday, August 19, 2012

When I look at people I can see that they tend to end p in the same thing over and over again... and I wonder of course how we choose this.

And unfortunately this is me also - I tend to step from one economic catastrophe to another. I had finally paid of the big accountant bill I had from last year AND the lawyer for the court fight over daugter - and druing this I have also paid reapirs on car... finally thought that I could start building a new reserve - I had one of 20 000 skr last year who disappeared very quickly when accountant bill came...

And now my coputer is starting to give me troulble - the mouse pad does not work. As I am an apple fan this means 10 000 skr - that I don´t hae. Maybe I can get a new bluetooth mouse to use for a while, just as I have a bluetooth keyboard... found a site that sells reconditioned computers and those who might have dents in the shells - one year gurarantee and half the price... but I´ll go with a bluetoot mouse first. I can get the money in two months if nothing catastrophical happens...

But I wonder why this is happening all the time - I probably waste too much money but I do think that I am really living cheap, I do have a good salary, car and gas are heavy consts but otherwise I don´t spend much. Binge food of course... but hardly no clothes, nothing on hairdresser, make-up - one kajal pen four times a year... shoes, expensive, house costs...electrical bill is heavy otherwise not that much. Doggier - not that exensive since I took away his daycare, child care - alimony(?) for daughter, not that heavy... it ends up but I managed to save 1 500 skr each month last year, this year I have been behind all the time.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KRZYKAT3 8/19/2012 10:40PM

    my life seems to go in circles also. each time I feel like I am oging to get out from under BOOM! another darn broken car, dryer, whatever. Now I jsut keep thinking I am in so much debt I;; never get ahead, woring so far LOL

keep plugging aywa it is just KARMA

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SHANSHE 8/19/2012 9:33PM

    Seems I have had money issues all my life and i wonder if it will EVER get better...
Shan

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GUITARWOMAN 8/19/2012 3:34PM

    Sometimes it is like that....

About your computer; maybe try uninstalling and reloading the track pad software; that can work. I have an expensive bluetooth mouse for my computer, the scroll wheel stopped working, and I thought rats, that is $100 Canadian dollars!

But, I first uninstalled and reinstalled the mouse, and that did it--at least for now, it is working.

Good luck!

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1_AMAZING_WOMAN 8/19/2012 12:46PM

    It seems that when it rains it pours; when something breaks down or a large expense comes, it seems a few things (like dominoes) breaks down or a bunch of expenses come one after the other. Like when my fridge went out, soon the tv went, and then pretty expensive house repairs, as well as sudden car repairs. Like I said, it seems when it rains it pours. That's why I try not to spend anything much, so I can save for when I will be having to spend a bunch. Nothings free...

Amber

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DAWNFIRE72 8/19/2012 12:25PM

    I know what you mean Meddy. It seems this year that we can't get ahead either. Part of that is my fault for going back to school but that will become extra income sometime next year after I graduate (supposed to happen around mid-May 2013 but I am hoping to speed that up a little).

I am sure at some point things will turn around for you and you will be able to rebuild your savings. Hoping it is sooner rather than later for you.

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OOLALA53 8/19/2012 12:24PM

    I've had a lot of costs over the last few months that have kept me from saving as I am often used to. But they were all necessities, such as car repairs. Modern life is expensive! Capital intensive, I think E. F. Schumaker would call it.

Yet, we go on.

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JOYINKY 8/19/2012 6:37AM

    Sometimes things just hit that way! You will make it through this; in the meantime don't give up on building that reserve! emoticon

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TATTER3 8/19/2012 5:22AM

    Seems we all have scrambles in our lives. BUT...we keep at it and things usually tend to come back eventually. Just keep Sparkin'!!

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Willing to go any lenghts...

Saturday, August 18, 2012

I got inspiration form a blog from onekidsmom about willingness but first - yesterday:

Instead of walking the dog and then maybe go mushroomhunting in the evening I took the car out in the woods and did he 45 minute morning walk there - hunting for mushrooms at the same time. I can´t say that the loot was big but it was enough for lunch and I am really starting to see the new possibility with the gps in my phone - it makes it possible to explore new territories and leave the common paths...only wish I had good waterproof boots, but I have problem feet and not money so it will have to wait and I will try to stay on higher grounds...

Doggy hates to go in the car - when I turn back I have to remember to leash him long before we reach the car, otherwise he will not come and I will spend a lot of time trying to persuade him to come to me...

Then I went to an interview - doggy was with me as we were on our way to performance. He managed to sneak out of the car at the interview so I spend some embarrasing minutes trying to catch him...he was very happy and I had to work hard not to strangle him ;-( when I finally got him I did not want to put him back in the car - then he will never come to me in the future - so he was with me at the interview (that was outdoor) very confusing with everybody wanting to pet him and me saying "dont, he bites" (Which he does if people comes to sudden upon him, he has to come first..) and at the same time as I was watching him not biting people I was trying to give some intelligent questions...it was sort of chaotic and I don´t think my brand as a serious journalist is safe... I just hope that I get things right in the article - it is not a pulitzerwinner and it is all positive, I think I am safe.

Then to theatre, very small audience but that does not mean less work, just different.

Ok - so the willingness then. If I want to become healthy I have to live a healthy persons life. In some aspects I do already - I go to bed early and sleep the hours I need, I try to paln my day so there is not too much going on, no stress. I also cook healthy food. What in my daily life is not healthy? Too much time in the sofa at evenings. I blame my fatigue, I have no energy left ... but maybe I should try doing nothing instead of watching teve for a while.

I´ll be back on this subject, it feels like "the life of a healthy person" as I think it is is out of reach for the moment because I can´t master the energy... but I also have to admit that I am not really clear on what the life of a healthy person looks like. I might start with elaborating that.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1_AMAZING_WOMAN 8/18/2012 10:27AM

    I can certainly relate to the doggie issues. Both my dogs want to run the other way when I call them, and make a game of ‘catch me if you can’. I had to laugh when you mentioned strangling him, cause I certainly know how frustrating it is.
My little Shatzi decided he wanted to eat the mushrooms in the lawn, and I was constantly telling him, “leave it” cause I don’t know if they are in fact safe. So one day when I opened the door - before I could stop him - he charged out the door, grabbed a mushroom and gulped it down. So, I guess they aren’t poisonous as he is still alive and well. Also last night when I was cleaning up the garden, Mocha kept eating the day lily seed pods, and I was concerned they may be toxic too. Apparently they are safe too, but still I don’t feel safe letting him eat them.

Amber

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JOYINKY 8/18/2012 10:17AM

    You pack an awful lot into each day! I think the quest for a healthy life is like trying to live like a naturally thin person. It has to be different for everyone; we're all wired differently. I think it's got to be a balance that fits each of us; physically, socially, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. I struggle with the social part of that.

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JUKEBOX2 8/18/2012 9:26AM

    Sounded like a fulfilling day!

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AZIMAT 8/18/2012 7:36AM

    I believe that each of us has to define a healthy lifestyle personally. It is not an ideal somewhere up in the sky or in someone else's mind.

I commiserate with you about the doggie. we have one who comes joyfully and one who is so impossible that she is always leashed. :(

Mushroom hunting! I've always been afraid. I see mushrooms all the time but never eat them because of the danger of poisoning. I'm happy that you know how to do it and have that wonderful new freedom with your GPS.

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SWEDE_SU 8/18/2012 7:13AM

    sounds like you have a mischievous doggie there! i think your them of what makes a healthy lifestyle is a good one to ponder - and it may even be possible to combine it with your professional side. it seems to me there is an increased focus on healthy lifestyle here in sweden than in the past, more people are out walking, people of all ages and sizes. the interest seems to be there!

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ONEKIDSMOM 8/18/2012 6:59AM

    Envisioning the life of a healthy person... sounds like a great theme to start a series with. I think the answers will be a little different for each of us, but I often look back to a concept in a book: The Solution by Laurel Mellin.

The concept is called Mastery Living. The subtitle is "An active and fulfilling lifestyle". Its focus is on each day (fits right in with one day at a time). Each day is to have three elements: exercise, meaningful activities, and time to restore.

Hmmmm... time to go through that chapter again! Thanks for the nudge.

May your dog get HIS act together. He's got a good gig, being with you! emoticon

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CHRISTINASP 8/18/2012 3:51AM

    I'm smiling about your dog (sorry, I realize it is not funny for you, but it's recognition, mine can be just as self-wise!).
Maybe if you make a few more healthy changes you'll have more energy? I hope so!

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KASEYCOFF 8/18/2012 3:04AM

    Dunno about you, Meddy, but when I try doing nothing - even something as simple as watching television - I fall asleep, lol...

A thought: I don't know what your work assignments cover, but as a journalist, have you considered researching and writing on health topics? Whether it had to do with diet, or fitness, or a psychological angle (such as motivation, persistence, overcoming obstacles), there might be a goldmine there.

Re the dog: I wanted to send a photo to you I saw the other day. I can't send it thru SP, so I posted it over on my blog. Bet that's just how your dog looked when he got out of the car--!
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A little worn out...

Friday, August 17, 2012

Fell asleep on the sofa after work yesterday, woke up at eleven and went to bed, slept until six this morning, woke up with a hint of a migraine that is fortunately gone now - AND the coming day that I felt stressed about has turned around for something better.

I have a press conference to attend and we also have a show at the theatre tonight, we are playing both saturday and sunday also and then there is work again monday... I feel that this really is a little bit too much for me, especially since we have to rehearse a lot next week for the special show for next saturday AND it is getting close to deadline for the septemberissue of the business edition. Yes, I am stressed but good planning and a healthy attitude will make it right. Going back to those mottos "easy does it" "one day at the time" "Most important first" and "live and let live"

I can do this... for today I have planned a 45 minutes walk in the woods with doggie, a session at the gym - ST - for thirty minutes, three healthy meals and a loving, positive attitude....

Here goes! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEDE_SU 8/17/2012 11:14PM

    it's a good thing there is doggie to make sure you get out in the woods! that's the time to restore, refresh, reset, so you can handle the stress of the rest of the day. you're doing great with a good plan and a good attitude! emoticon emoticon

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RUTHIEBEAR 8/17/2012 7:00PM

    Glad you are taking care of you too. Take some time to just breathe in all of your business. emoticon

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ORCHIDLADY56 8/17/2012 3:58PM

    Sounds like a very busy day for you. Take care of yourself!

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SHANSHE 8/17/2012 3:09PM

    Great goals meddy! Hang in there and keep up the good work!
Shan

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MUSICNERD1993 8/17/2012 11:51AM

    Great that you are still making plans for exercise! emoticon

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KRZYKAT3 8/17/2012 11:46AM

    My challengs this week is to get in fitness every day.

My goals are 260 cardio and 80 ST. I feel ST is more imporatnat and body shaoing or me so wokring on getting more in!!

Have a great weekend

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1_AMAZING_WOMAN 8/17/2012 10:35AM

    It's really nice you still make time for 45 minutes in the woods with doggie. But, then if you didn't you'd probably be using that time for mischief he'd get into due to the excess energy, huh?

Amber

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GUITARWOMAN 8/17/2012 9:42AM

    Love it! and your bulldog picture is adorable!

Seriously, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate and every right to be worn out.

I am sure that you will get it all done...and benefit yourself and others in the process! emoticon

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AJDOVER1 8/17/2012 9:37AM

    We're here for you!

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JOYINKY 8/17/2012 8:08AM

    emoticonYou have a plan! Good start to having a great day!

Be well.

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INGMARIE 8/17/2012 7:58AM

    Great emoticon
Amazing , organized and ready to take on the day ,it seems the heavier the load the better you get.
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PUDLECRAZY 8/17/2012 6:28AM

    Great plans for the day! I am glad you are still walking in the woods. Any more mushrooms?

Have a lovely day, Meddy!

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CHRISTINASP 8/17/2012 4:50AM

    Great plans.. and yes 'easy does it'!
At a time like the one you described I sometimes say to myself that it's enough if I just do the basics or just show up. I try to let go of the idea that I must also 'perform' or 'acheive' something. Just showing up can be an achievement.

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Benefits of fat

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I am reading a book "Självhypnos"(english title: "Healing with mind power") that wants me to do these lists - one of what I have to gain by losing - and one about what benefits I have from being fat. And there is no problem to list what I would gain from losing - but it sounded ridiculous that I would lose anything apart from the weight... BUT (and it is painful) I did some soul-searching and found that there are some positives.
- For example I can eat more than others without risking to gain weight... this sounds weird but if I put up pictures in my mind about what it would be like being thin, one of the things is that I would always have to watch very carefully how much and what I was eating not to start gaining again - and that feels scary. One reason for me being fat is that I like to eat - being thin would require me changing that into something unknown.
- Fat gives me an excuse not to compete in the sex arena - as a fat person I never get treated as a sex object...
- Fat weights heavy... meaning that if I do some soul seeking I discover that I have a tendancy to see small people (like in short, slim and delicate) as less powerful than big, sturdy ones. And who can be more sturdy than a fat person?
And an odd thing - I do like to define myself as an outcast - I do want to belong to a group that is not "normal" that is in a more vulnerable situation than others. This is also very weird because on another level I do very much like to be "normal" and a part of normal groups
Fat also gives me an excuse not to take on challenges and live - I "just" have to get thin before I can...go traveling, start that course, go dancing etc. etc. I can postpone other things because I have to focus on weight loss...
- The identity of being a weak carachter with not enough willpower is secure and it is scary to think of what standards I might have to meet if I changed...

The above is not clear and I am not sure in what extent it is really true - because the opposite is also true - I hate to be different as in fat-different. I hate to be unable to eat less, I hate not to feel sexually attractive etc. but those weird feelings were swimming around somewhere deep in me and is part of why I continue to be fat. I have some wrong emotional connections here - I think that if I lose the weight I will also lose other things in my personality that I want to keep. And I will have to work on believing that it is my choice what I keep and what I let go off.

There is also some very fysical effects - eating gives me oral satisfaction, being full (not too full) feels safe, eating numbs my restlessness and gives me something to do

Yes, yes I know - a lot of the above is brain ghosts that has nothing to do with reality but if I don´t lift them to a concious level I can´t adress them and change them.

It is very easy to state that we are fat because we eat too much energy compared to what we use - but once that is clear too us, why don´t we change? Because the eating and the weight also meets some other blurry needs of ours. If we can identify them and get them right it will get easier to change.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 3/21/2013 9:36AM

    I have so missed your insights...they stir up my thoughts and feelings and make me think.
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KRZYKAT3 8/16/2012 10:08PM

    good insights, I think those thoughts are real. I have not yet examined all the reasons I amstill fay but I know the reasons are there or why would I go back to eating after I lose. this is a 46 year hourney for me and I hope to conquer it before I die. great blog as usual..

love thought provoking

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CHRISTINASP 8/16/2012 5:01PM

    Good blog post Meddy. 'Safety' is probably a key word for me too.

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1_AMAZING_WOMAN 8/16/2012 12:04PM

    Initially I gained my weight from the side-effect of antidepressants. But, why do I keep it? I remember when I worked as a security guard, the construction workers treated all us female security guards as sex object - all except one very heavy female guard. One time during a security check I was picked up by my boobs and thrown about 3 feet. Then when I went on antidepressants and gained 67 pounds I was treated a LOT better by the construction workers. The fat felt like a great protection from being abused. I haven't been in that situation for many years, and yet I maintain the fat. It seems scary when I am losing weight, but I don't think it has to do with that any more. I think it has to do with the fact that if I lost the weight I would probably expect a lot more out of life, and would probably want a man in my life, and since my luck with men has been terrible, and my health is such that I couldn't have that anyway, well, it is just scary to think I would want something I cannot in any way have.

Also, eating is like one of the few pleasures I have left in life. I know it actually shortens my life, but with my life being so empty on so many fronts, it just seems almost unbearable to give up one of the few real pleasure I have left. This tells me though that I need to develope my life, so that I have other real pleasures in my life besides eating. My focus really needs to turn elsewhere for pleasure.

Amber

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JOYINKY 8/16/2012 10:05AM

    Interesting. One advantage of fat that I am aware of now; fat kept me warm! I try to always remember a light sweater when I go to the theater or a restaurant now as the air conditioning is usually too cold for me. I don't keep my house as cool as most others either; except in winter when I dress in layers. That said. My main argument was always "I like to eat", I "enjoy food". In reality, yes; the biggest challenge is that we do use food for comfort, entertainment, socialization! It's hard for me to even find friends that want to do things that don't involve food!
I have had to learn to like other things MORE than I like to eat! I don't spend much time in the kitchen anymore. Actually lost a little weight during the "nest" series; even though it cut into my exercise time somewhat. I have found exercise and active things I enjoy doing. Do I still enjoy food? Yes, I refuse to eat anything I don't like and I refuse to be hungry. I do count calories but there are a lot of really good, simple mostly fresh foods out there that make it possible.
Again, I love your blogs! You make me think!

Afterthought: Fat also seemed to make me "invisible"; as an introvert that was actually comfortable.

Comment edited on: 8/16/2012 10:07:34 AM

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SWEDE_SU 8/16/2012 8:00AM

    it would seem that excess weight is like/related to excess baggage - you have to deal with the baggage before/while getting rid of the weight; if the baggage remains, the weight will probably return - or stay where it is. it sounds like your list of "ghosts" is well worth addressing, and many of us have faced many of those same ghosts at some point on the journey. emoticon

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SHERYLDS 8/16/2012 7:46AM

    good blog....
interesting that you say " And who can be more sturdy than a fat person?"
Most people see the fat person as being 'weaker' because they interpret fat as being out of control with themselves. They usually think the fat person will give in because most are eager to please just to be accepted, so they think the fat person can't say no.

In that way...being 'normal' makes you stronger in the eyes of the world. And people perceive a 'normal' person as being more in control of themselves, less anxious about pleasing others, and more independent. (Hence the term 'skinny bitch'.)

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GUITARWOMAN 8/16/2012 7:31AM

    Very thoughtful blog, and much of it certainly rings true with what I've read and my own experiences.

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GINNJEN1974 8/16/2012 7:25AM

    What a great blog. I had never thought about what the benefits of staying heavy were vs losing the weight.

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KASEYCOFF 8/16/2012 3:07AM

    Meddy, as always, your insights are brilliant - and as usual, you're not alone. I haven't spent much time thinking about what I might be losing along with excess weight, but after your perceptive list, I will give it a dose of thought.

Thanx, Meddy. Great blog.
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Unwanted

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Today I got a spark mail telling me I was not welcome to sign up for the autumn challenge in this BL private team - it was a shock and triggered my "abandoned-child" reflexes. I just want to crawl under some stone and cry because I am not good enough... the good thing is that after I while I can note that I am still alive, that reaction is more something from the past, than meaning that I really have been abandoned and rejected by the world... that particular team did not appreciate my choices and that is their privilige. But it did hurt.

It is also interesting to note that one of the feelings I have is embarrasment and shame for being naive and happy thinking I was ok in that team.

I am a little scared about "challenge teams" - I don´t react well to challenges, they do trigger the extreme and obsessive parts of my personality so the reason that I joined that team was because I wanted to keep in touch with a spark friend who was active there but not so much in any other teams.

And then it happened that I really liked the team activities - the challenges where fun and changing every week and they were not too extreme, I could manage them without too much effort. I did well and lost weight. True, that it also made me go on an extreme fluid diet for ten days (which I fell off after eight days but I am happy for it because it made me feel really good) but that - as a side effect as I wrote about it in my blog - gave some really useful comments and mails about interesting food choices that I am now planning for - I was already glancing at the "raw food" menus but this see a bit simpler to handle - ideas from "eat for Life" that I find suitable for what I like and can afford.

I was looking forward to the autumn challenge in that team because I wanted my efforts to count for the team result. It motivated me to do better for myself.

So - when the shock and humiliation of being rejected (and yes, I think it is rude because I have not broken any rules or been unsupportive to the team) I still want to be in that kind of team for ten weeks in the autumn. Where weekly challenges are presented, where there is a time limit for the challenge and where I am accountable in a way I can handle. I don´t think I can start a team like that on my own, I don´t trust myself to keep it going the full ten weeks.

Then I found hat I could sign up for becoming a memeber in some other team "under the same roof" - BL teams - so I will try that first. Or maybe some of you who read this are interested to join an "autumn challenge team" for ten weeks? Send me an email and we can discuss if it is doable.

So I change my background to purple - a colour for mourning what might have been... emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILLYHP1953 3/21/2013 9:31AM

    Wow...I'm only just catching up on your blogs after about a seven month hiatus. I'm so sorry, but as I am looking back on seven months of blogs after this situation I know you are still here.
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XENATHOMAS 8/16/2012 1:27PM

    emoticonI do you feel your pain. Just so you know i really enjoyed having you in the team. You are very supportive. I have not abandoned you and /I hope you will not abandoned me. If you do start another challenge I would be more than happy to be a part of that team too. I will not wish you all the best because I will still be here as you continue your journey and I hope that you will continue to support me as I continue mine.

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RUTHIEBEAR 8/16/2012 7:40AM

    I am sorry this happened to you. I have been there and know it feels awful. But I also know from personal experience there are two sides to every story. WHen I blogged about my experience I got some nasty replies and ended up removing the blog. I hav e learned the hard way, some hurts are better shared with close friends and not publicly. I am not criticizing at all, just sharing my own personal hurt and experience. I wish you the very best. I wish you health and good habits on this journey. Again, I am sad this happened to you. emoticon

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KRZYKAT3 8/15/2012 11:30PM

    I apologize publicly for the role I played in this I , as your firend shoudl not have made the decisions I did to becoem involved when I felt it was not my business. I hereby takefull responsibility for all of this being blown over and above what it could have been but I did what I did out of dear friendship for you.

Never knew pujrple meant mourning, In America it means royalty. I put up black for the mourning of my soul that caused all this damage cause I am such a horrible person and tried to cushino someone as I wanted to be instead of sheling out a bone to ge tyou to change and then... oh welel no need to go on.

Please put this all on me, I handled it all wrong and didn't tell the whole story. so it is all me. I have no more words only tears that will not stop..


I truly wish i could take it all back from the moment I was asked to be involved.

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SLIMKIM2B 8/15/2012 10:11PM

    emoticon I'm so sorry.

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GOPINTOS 8/15/2012 10:06PM

    Sorry about your experience. There are many other great BL teams :) Also, if you belong to other SP teams, sometimes they have challenges listed in the forum topics.

Best of luck on your journey!

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NESARIAN 8/15/2012 4:10PM

    Ok, I give up. Just what is a BL team? I am sorry this mysterious team hurt your feelings. I don't understand why they would act like this as SP is about support not rejection. O like weekly challenges also and would be interested in an Autumn challenge for 10 weeks. Please post what you decide to do in your blog so I can follow it. Thanks and maybe this experience happened so you could set up your own team....

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SKINNYJEN7 8/15/2012 3:36PM

    I'm sorry for your bad experience too. This was my first team challenge, and like you I was enjoying being spurred on with a goal to meet each week, but for some reason the last few weeks have felt weird. I'm not sure about participating in a challenge in the fall. If I find something I'm interested in I'll be sure to let you know. Keep your chin up!

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AMY-MIMI77 8/15/2012 2:54PM

    I am sorry about this experience and hope you find a team that works for you
keep in touch
Best of Luck on your journey - you are doing fabulous


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INGMARIE 8/15/2012 12:20PM

    Sorry you had this happen to you, well then, if they do not want you,
for sure you do not need them,this seem so "un-spark" like.
Hugs, find a better and nicer team. emoticon

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SHANSHE 8/15/2012 11:41AM

    I'm going to sparkmail you...

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GUITARWOMAN 8/15/2012 11:33AM

    So sorry you had this experience...

This does not seem to be regular SP behavior (and I do not know what a BL teams is, but...) and I do not understand it.

And, BTW, purple is also the color of royalty!


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REBECCAMA 8/15/2012 11:09AM

  Never tried to sign up for a BL team and in fact it took me a bit to realize what you are talking about. However I have been doing the Fall 5%, Spring 5%, Winter 5%, and Summer 5% challenges and I know those are all private challenges. They have a lot of sub-teams etc. and might be similar to the way BL is constructed. They make them private so that they can balance out the teams evenly etc, and set up the teams with the same number of members and so forth. Usually I join the challenge itself and then I am assigned a team. It is hard to understand why anyone would be rude about denying someone who applies though. Maybe they had enough members or whatever? But whatever the cause they should have been nice about it.

I hope you get some response from someone involved.

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1_AMAZING_WOMAN 8/15/2012 10:33AM

    I've had something similar to this happen to me, only they were really, really unpleasant in the way they did it. It was very hurtful at the time, but then I realized that if that was what they were like then they were people I didn't want to be around anyway. It was their loss. And, for the BL team it is their loss to not have you.

Amber

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LINDA! 8/15/2012 9:57AM

    I had a similar experience with the BL team. I know it stinks because after being on Spark People and a team leader on several teams, I felt that this was NOT what Spark People is about...having said that, congrats to you for all of your success. I would suggest a different team Others are very supportive.

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MUSICNERD1993 8/15/2012 9:42AM

    I'm very sorry that you had to experience that, but we know you will still be successful. You are a strong person who has overcome many challenges.
emoticon

I love the purple!

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JOYINKY 8/15/2012 9:31AM

    I'm without words to this experience except - move on, and you are. Challenges don't work for me; pulls me OUT of the lifestyle change mode. I don't want this life to be a contest I want it to be healthy, active and as natural as possible. Just me. I hope you find what works for you. Be well.

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BROADBRUSH 8/15/2012 7:40AM

    that is a real shame - try not to be so affected by it. i know you are a strong person. you totally succeeded if you lost weight and have completed challenges successfully - don't worry there are other choices.

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CHRISTINASP 8/15/2012 4:15AM

    I'm sorry you encountered this. I'm totally surprised by how you got treated and the notes you've been receiving that you wrote about. I wonder if there are rules for this kind of thing. A protest may be in place. I believe it's a good idea to find another team where you can still do what you like to do.

What is BL?

I really like the purple. If you haven't read 'The color purple' by Alice Walker or seen the movie, this may be a good time to do it!

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SWEDE_SU 8/15/2012 1:30AM

    i'm so sorry you had to experience this - it doesn't seem like it is in the SP approach, which is to be supportive! i'm just reaching the end of the 5% summer challenge, and i think it's been a really good experience, with weekly challenges and a fun attitude - you might want to look at that for the fall?

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