Wednesday, August 22, 2012
:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:
"If you have behaved badly, repent; make what amends you can and
address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no
account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the
best way of getting clean."
:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:
Rolling in the mud to me is some sneaky way to not having to change - if I have done less good than I should I benefit from looking at it, admitting things that could have been better, noticing things than couldnīt be helped and enjoying things that were ok.
Today I will spend at least half an hour with decluttering. I will be efficient with my work, I will walk the dog for at least an hour and I will rehearse show tonight. AND I will try to eat more than usual earlier in the day to test if it gives more energy.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
My free 14 days of Spark coach is almost over, it has been good. I think the short videos has been great, easy to understand (even for me, a foreigner) and I have also loved the visualisations. Still - I will not sign up to continue, not this time. Partly because I am (as always) short of money and have to prioritize (?) and I have signed up for a year membership at the gym - that includes help from the instructors. Speaking of which, I forgot to go there yesterday... I was so enthusiastic and caught up in trying to construct a "applaud-o-meter" for the show we are having saturday so I drove home completely forgetting that I had planned to go to the gym on my way home... and I canīt spend that gas going back to town after coming home so it will have to be today instead.
Today I am stressed about work, I am relapsing into my old passive manners and postpone work and starting to panic about it.
Monday, August 20, 2012
"So-called "yo-yo" dieting -- where people repeatedly lose weight by dieting, only to regain the weight -- may be frustrating, but it will not hurt a person's ability to lose weight over the long term, a new study finds.
This type of "weight cycling" does not have a negative effect on metabolism, the study found. The findings may be significant, the experts added, because yo-yo dieting affects up to 40 percent of the population in the Western world, and estimates indicate that nearly half of American women are currently dieting to lose weight."
I love it when established "truths" bites the grass... the sad part is that I am going to run into official health people who will warn about yoyo-dieting and who has not read up on this and they are going to think I am a nuicances... I can live with that.
I also love that seven years after cancer my body seems to be back where it was before chemo, that react as it has "always" been. I am fortunate enough to have a body that reacts fast and thoroughly to changes of food plan. Regardless of type of plan - from kamikzae like fasting to sensible choices like weight watchers - it starts to drop weight as soon as I give it the chance and continues as long as I stay on track - no plateus here! I am also very grateful that my body puts up with everything I have done to it without reacting too strongly - thinking of it maybe I havenīt done that much wrong to it... part from weird menu choices, bingeing and kamikaze dieting I have also deprived it of sleep - Many years ago now, when I started my company and worked endless hours, slept on the sofa in my office and worked worked, worked... I donīt do that anymore, I am particular with my sleep but I am also grateful that those bad choices in my younger days did not destroy my ability to sleep long and sound...
But I have not operated it, I have not eaten weird miracle pills and I havenīt used laxatives or tried to get rid of food through vomiting...
Itīs monday and deadline for first edition of business section for this autumn is coming up... I can feel my aniety stirring and will ry very hard to meditate and keep balanced. And be very efficient at work!
Sunday, August 19, 2012
When I look at people I can see that they tend to end p in the same thing over and over again... and I wonder of course how we choose this.
And unfortunately this is me also - I tend to step from one economic catastrophe to another. I had finally paid of the big accountant bill I had from last year AND the lawyer for the court fight over daugter - and druing this I have also paid reapirs on car... finally thought that I could start building a new reserve - I had one of 20 000 skr last year who disappeared very quickly when accountant bill came...
And now my coputer is starting to give me troulble - the mouse pad does not work. As I am an apple fan this means 10 000 skr - that I donīt hae. Maybe I can get a new bluetooth mouse to use for a while, just as I have a bluetooth keyboard... found a site that sells reconditioned computers and those who might have dents in the shells - one year gurarantee and half the price... but Iīll go with a bluetoot mouse first. I can get the money in two months if nothing catastrophical happens...
But I wonder why this is happening all the time - I probably waste too much money but I do think that I am really living cheap, I do have a good salary, car and gas are heavy consts but otherwise I donīt spend much. Binge food of course... but hardly no clothes, nothing on hairdresser, make-up - one kajal pen four times a year... shoes, expensive, house costs...electrical bill is heavy otherwise not that much. Doggier - not that exensive since I took away his daycare, child care - alimony(?) for daughter, not that heavy... it ends up but I managed to save 1 500 skr each month last year, this year I have been behind all the time.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
I got inspiration form a blog from onekidsmom about willingness but first - yesterday:
Instead of walking the dog and then maybe go mushroomhunting in the evening I took the car out in the woods and did he 45 minute morning walk there - hunting for mushrooms at the same time. I canīt say that the loot was big but it was enough for lunch and I am really starting to see the new possibility with the gps in my phone - it makes it possible to explore new territories and leave the common paths...only wish I had good waterproof boots, but I have problem feet and not money so it will have to wait and I will try to stay on higher grounds...
Doggy hates to go in the car - when I turn back I have to remember to leash him long before we reach the car, otherwise he will not come and I will spend a lot of time trying to persuade him to come to me...
Then I went to an interview - doggy was with me as we were on our way to performance. He managed to sneak out of the car at the interview so I spend some embarrasing minutes trying to catch him...he was very happy and I had to work hard not to strangle him ;-( when I finally got him I did not want to put him back in the car - then he will never come to me in the future - so he was with me at the interview (that was outdoor) very confusing with everybody wanting to pet him and me saying "dont, he bites" (Which he does if people comes to sudden upon him, he has to come first..) and at the same time as I was watching him not biting people I was trying to give some intelligent questions...it was sort of chaotic and I donīt think my brand as a serious journalist is safe... I just hope that I get things right in the article - it is not a pulitzerwinner and it is all positive, I think I am safe.
Then to theatre, very small audience but that does not mean less work, just different.
Ok - so the willingness then. If I want to become healthy I have to live a healthy persons life. In some aspects I do already - I go to bed early and sleep the hours I need, I try to paln my day so there is not too much going on, no stress. I also cook healthy food. What in my daily life is not healthy? Too much time in the sofa at evenings. I blame my fatigue, I have no energy left ... but maybe I should try doing nothing instead of watching teve for a while.
Iīll be back on this subject, it feels like "the life of a healthy person" as I think it is is out of reach for the moment because I canīt master the energy... but I also have to admit that I am not really clear on what the life of a healthy person looks like. I might start with elaborating that.
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