Sunday, May 12, 2013
The decluttering project had a wonderful effect on my energy level - I have felt inspired for a lot of things. Yesterday I biked with doggy to friends and had a long talk with my god daughter - that was really nice. Drove to my brother and had coffee - and offered some money if he would help me to fix my garage side door - I bought a new one more that a year ago and put it in plcae but has since then tried to figure out how to fix around that door to make it look nice and professional. As I sold some books after the lectures I gave tuesday, I thougt I would use that money to pay brother to help me. He said he would come monday morning. Went to rehearsal with theatre, rehearsed a dance that made me sweat a lot. The problem is today - I have a lot of pain in my feet and knees. The good thing is that the exercise made the swelling in my ancles and feet disappear which is great, if I donīt get my circulation going I might have to amputate my feet when I get older...and I donīt know if the pains in my knees will go away if I move more or if it will get worse because they are worn out...
Took doggy for a walk in the morning - and brother called and asked if he could come over and look at the door - he was meant to help a friend with farm work but it has been raining so it was not possible... I almost broke down - I should have known it because my brother very often does this - he makes an appointment and shows up long before. I had planned to organise the project today - to search for suitable boards, to look for the right tools to clear the surroundings etc., and now, none of that was done and I was in the woods with doggy. I got so stressed I cried then I phoned brother and asked him if he could not come tomorrow because I just stressed so much. He did not understand, told me that he was only going to have a look and that I need not stress... he has no idea how my head looks inside
... and it is weird to get close to a nervous breakdown because of change of plans, but I am a little scared of my brother who is a perfectionist, always finishes jobs he starts, always keeps a very neat house, his tools are always in perfect order etc etc AND he is very judgemental. Why ask him in the first place? Because he is retired on a very small income and would enjoy some extra money, because it was not a big job... any way I postponed his visit a little, did my 30 minutes of walking the dog, went home and started looking for stuff and was ok balanced when he arrived. He was nicer than usual, probably because he had sensed that I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown... after discussing what should be done he also looked at my ...canīt find the word for it, the burner that makes my house warm. The shunt who turns off the heat to the radiators has gotten stuck so when it gets warmer I have to close it down - which means I have no hot water in the house either... he managed to get the stuck shunt moving again and I am very happy over it.
Went and bought the boards that will be needed and started to plan a garden! Moved the old doorframe to the back of my house, had papers in it and then plant soil:
I need some more soil before I put the seeds in.
..amazing, I will have lettuce, spinach, parsley and other fun things in it...I also put a tarpaulin on the grass - it will kill the grass underneath and make it ready for making a plant bed next summer.
I also took away the old boards over the door my brother will fix and had my feet, knees and back not ached so much I would have started to fix it myself, now that I know how to plan it... and it is not safe for a fat old lady to climb a ladder and work with a crowbar, I am lucky not to have fallen.