MEDDYPEDDY   106,947
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MEDDYPEDDY's Recent Blog Entries

At the bottom...

Monday, May 20, 2013

...I woke up at the bottom this morning. The good thing about that is that if You are at the bottome there is only one way to go - upwards – the bad thing is that there might be even deeper depts to reach.

Yesterday I browsed by a film I wish I had seen from start - "changing lanes" - and I saw the secene where samuel jackson (who is an alcoholic who is trying to get sober) is told by his sponsor to attend a meeting and he says that he was at one the day before and that he is sober - and the sponsor tells him that alcohol is not his primary drug, chaos is.

For the moment I am stressing over that I must get up before five tomorrow because 5.30 a bus leaves for Oslo that I am supposed to go with - writing articles about our regions commitments in Norway. The erson who normally takes care of Doggy canīt and some friends has volunteered - but I still have problems with when and how to leave doggy there...

My mantra for today is that everything is as it is supposed to be. That attitude towards life has helped me before so I should stick to it...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOYINKY 5/20/2013 8:10AM

    You are strong and capable and will get through this too!

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AKELAZ 5/20/2013 8:00AM

    Thank you for this. I'd never thought about it but I probably need to consider the fact that I may be addicted to chaos and rushing about. I joke that I'm a gypsy by nature but it's possibly a cover-up for my inability to settle to anything for any length of time. As I say, thanks for making me think - as you so often do.

Hope your climb upwards is soon and that tomorrow comes good. emoticon

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VETTERMOMMY2U2 5/20/2013 6:26AM

    If you're working Step 11, you should be living in God's will. May God grant you peace in Him which passes all understanding. God bless you.

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KASEYCOFF 5/20/2013 2:41AM

    Some people thrive on chaos - I suppose it's like thrill-seekers who want that adrenaline rush. Others, me among them, prefer peace and quiet and routine. The ideal is probably somewhere in between. I haven't found it yet, though...
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KLEONIKI 5/20/2013 2:15AM

    "...alcohol is not his primary drug, chaos is. ..."

OMG I needed that today...
thank you
k.

Good luck too with your challenging "chaos", girl!


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Dealing with worry

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Antoher wet blanket over my life has been my dealings with the tax authorities that started last summer, It has been days and weeks with nothing and I have started to calm down and then - WHAM! another inquiry or message that has stirred all my panic and despair, thrown me into suicidal mode and overall gave me a hopeless future...

In the middle of april - after months of nothing - I got a letter with "suggestions" for a verdict - none in my favor. Threw me into despair and crying and a lot of stress. My face excema got worse, bingeing got worse... I had until tenth of may to answer and when I wrote my arguments I had that hopeless feeling that nobody would listen - and then in some sudden insight I realised "Ok then I will get their decision, I will somehow find the money to pay it as I have always done and I will go on with my life.

Yesterday I got that feared envelope - decided not to open it as I was going to rehearsal and did not want to be a hysterical wreck - but it was in the back of my mind and red spots occured under my eye... had forgotten about it last night, remembered this morning, took a deep breath and opened it.... and if you think this is a sunshine story you are wrong - they had not bothered at all about my arguments, yes! I am BITTER! and they have decided that I should pay a lot of money.

But the thing is tha my worry disappears at once. I realise that the money I got for the lecture last week (that was supposed to be a contribution to the ne heating I have to install in my houwe) together with scraping my accounts, will make me able to pay them. And I will pay them and move on. I will not bother to try to appeal, I will just be very very clever when I make my declaration for 2012 (this was 2011) and make sure everything is 100 procent correct.

It is all very unfair and I hereby declare that my solidarity with the state is for the moment nonexistent - if I am given the chance to hide some money for them I will - because they really punished me for nothing this time!

And now I am going to a performance with the theatre...todelooo!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAWNFIRE72 5/18/2013 8:28PM

    Sorry to hear about the tax problems. I am glad that you met the problem head on though and have started moving on from it.

One of the phrases my one manager had was "Moving forward....." after something has happened. It has helped me get through some difficult times.

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PHATPAT18 5/18/2013 11:35AM

    Time to face your demon straight on and get on with your life. Good wishes coming your way.

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OOLALA53 5/18/2013 10:37AM

    I am so grateful you feel you have the means to take care of this. I haven't had problems with taxes, knock on wood, but was in a mild depression (not full blown, but still very uncomfortable) for a few months twice in the last couple of years over money losses, and I'm not even in terrible shape. I've never been a big spender and saved my money well, then lost in investments. Even today, I'm feeling stressed because I have to call about a home loan that got transferred-- not my doing--, and now I have to follow up.

Do whatever you can to protect your income and your peace.

Do you at least get free health care? I hope so.

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JOYINKY 5/18/2013 10:12AM

    Glad you have it covered and are moving on. Don't do anything to put yourself at further risk. Seems the tax people are the most powerful in government; and the least sympathetic. You will get through this too. Be well. emoticon

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SLIMMERJESSE 5/18/2013 8:52AM

    I've been through similar situations and have to say that there is very little in life as stressful as dealing with the tax people. And they always seem to go after the little guy - makes no sense to me.

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CAMAEL100 5/18/2013 8:49AM

    So hard dealing with bureaucracy especially when they don't feel they have any obligation to listen to you or in any way answer of even justify themselves.



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AKELAZ 5/18/2013 4:57AM

    I truly sympathise. Often have a pile of envelopes on my 'post table' in my hall waiting for the right mood and space to deal with them. Glad you've made the best of a bad situation - though very sorry that you've had to and double sorry for the troubles it has all caused you. Congratulations for not letting it all stop your rehearsal schedule.

As you say - move on and find a way to 'get them back' when and if you can.

Comment edited on: 5/18/2013 4:58:12 AM

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Magic monday...

Monday, May 13, 2013

I had three days of inmobility last week and during those days my feet and ancles started to tingle and I realise I have som serious varicose veins that I need to see a doctor about. The exercise during this weekend has reduced all the swellings - I thinkg it is something with the lympfh system in my right leg - I broke that one shortly befor I had chemotherapy and the vessels and veins in that leg has taken some beating and is not that good anymore.

I wonder if the threat of having my foot amputated due to bad circulation (granny had that, but she was about 98 when it happened...) will keep me exercising...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PHATPAT18 5/13/2013 9:58PM

    Keep at it, but make sure you see the doctor and follow his or her advice.

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AJDOVER1 5/13/2013 12:43PM

    Take care of yourself! I hope you can see a doctor soon.


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MOTHEPRO 5/13/2013 10:50AM

  emoticon

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JOYINKY 5/13/2013 8:05AM

    Fear is a great motivator. My fear is the threat of Alzheimer's. So far, so good.

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KASEYCOFF 5/13/2013 2:57AM

    It works for me, Meddy - I have Type 2 diabetes, and one of the complications can be poor circulation / neuropathy, leading to the real possibility of amputation. All in all, I think I'd rather exercise!
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DSJB9999 5/13/2013 2:27AM

    Sure it will keep you moving! emoticon

Glad you are feeling a bit better today and ready to move more.

Have a good week emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Aches and pains...

Sunday, May 12, 2013

The decluttering project had a wonderful effect on my energy level - I have felt inspired for a lot of things. Yesterday I biked with doggy to friends and had a long talk with my god daughter - that was really nice. Drove to my brother and had coffee - and offered some money if he would help me to fix my garage side door - I bought a new one more that a year ago and put it in plcae but has since then tried to figure out how to fix around that door to make it look nice and professional. As I sold some books after the lectures I gave tuesday, I thougt I would use that money to pay brother to help me. He said he would come monday morning. Went to rehearsal with theatre, rehearsed a dance that made me sweat a lot. The problem is today - I have a lot of pain in my feet and knees. The good thing is that the exercise made the swelling in my ancles and feet disappear which is great, if I donīt get my circulation going I might have to amputate my feet when I get older...and I donīt know if the pains in my knees will go away if I move more or if it will get worse because they are worn out...

Took doggy for a walk in the morning - and brother called and asked if he could come over and look at the door - he was meant to help a friend with farm work but it has been raining so it was not possible... I almost broke down - I should have known it because my brother very often does this - he makes an appointment and shows up long before. I had planned to organise the project today - to search for suitable boards, to look for the right tools to clear the surroundings etc., and now, none of that was done and I was in the woods with doggy. I got so stressed I cried – then I phoned brother and asked him if he could not come tomorrow because I just stressed so much. He did not understand, told me that he was only going to have a look and that I need not stress... he has no idea how my head looks inside emoticon ... and it is weird to get close to a nervous breakdown because of change of plans, but I am a little scared of my brother who is a perfectionist, always finishes jobs he starts, always keeps a very neat house, his tools are always in perfect order etc etc AND he is very judgemental. Why ask him in the first place? Because he is retired on a very small income and would enjoy some extra money, because it was not a big job... any way I postponed his visit a little, did my 30 minutes of walking the dog, went home and started looking for stuff and was ok balanced when he arrived. He was nicer than usual, probably because he had sensed that I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown... after discussing what should be done he also looked at my ...canīt find the word for it, the burner that makes my house warm. The shunt who turns off the heat to the radiators has gotten stuck so when it gets warmer I have to close it down - which means I have no hot water in the house either... he managed to get the stuck shunt moving again and I am very happy over it.

Went and bought the boards that will be needed and started to plan a garden! Moved the old doorframe to the back of my house, had papers in it and then plant soil:


I need some more soil before I put the seeds in.

..amazing, I will have lettuce, spinach, parsley and other fun things in it...I also put a tarpaulin on the grass - it will kill the grass underneath and make it ready for making a plant bed next summer.

I also took away the old boards over the door my brother will fix and had my feet, knees and back not ached so much I would have started to fix it myself, now that I know how to plan it... and it is not safe for a fat old lady to climb a ladder and work with a crowbar, I am lucky not to have fallen.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAMAEL100 5/18/2013 8:52AM

    I am afraid I am also someone that reacts to change of plan. I like things to go as they are planned!!!

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PHATPAT18 5/14/2013 10:31AM

    Way to keep at it.

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DAWNFIRE72 5/12/2013 4:19PM

    I understand the anxiety over not having things go the way you planned. I am the same way and get very upset when plans change unexpectedly.

I love your garden bed and hope that you get lots of fresh veggies and herbs from it all summer and into autumn.



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JOYINKY 5/12/2013 2:18PM

    Sounds like a good productive day! All's well that ends well!! I think you will enjoy your doorframe garden; great idea!

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KARA151 5/12/2013 12:14PM

    Great job on the garden and decluttering.

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SCRAPPINPOLLY 5/12/2013 11:54AM

    Decluttering is always therapeutic to me!! Good for you!

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CHRISGORGME 5/12/2013 11:43AM

  Gardening is the best therapy and with more benefits than the usual! I wish I had a bit of space for planting:-( looking forward to the pictures of the ready salad! emoticon

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WALLINMW 5/12/2013 11:40AM

  Stay motivated!

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Decluttering

Friday, May 10, 2013

Yesterday was a holiday in Sweden - I spent all day sorting papers - my kitchen table looked like this when I started:


and like this when I finished:


and I have to admit – this is the first time since I moved in here in november 2010 that all the papers have been in order...and it is not even entirely true because there are still I still have some binders that I have to work through but the bookkeppeing for 2012 AND 2013 is completed so far and it is very nice. I have managed to throw away papers that I never dared to get rid of "just in case"... and now I know that if I want to live the life I long for I have to trust that things I need will come in my way whan I need them - they will never be found in those piles of "interesting" papers...

The only sad thing is that since most of those papers were in a paperbag in my guestroom it does not really show in my house that I did a lot of decluttering.... but I will get there if I just keep on!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KASEYCOFF 5/13/2013 3:00AM

    I'm starting to go "paperless." I've begun scanning in things like medical records and bank statements that aren't essential to keep as original copies. I have three large file drawers that I think I can send to recycling once I have them scanned in - though I'm keeping the important documents such as birth certificates, tax returns, etc.

Personally, I think paper clutter is about the hardest to deal with and the most time-consuming...
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LINDA! 5/11/2013 9:20AM

    What a difference it makes when we declutter. Although, I will say that I don't declutter often enough.

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DEBRA0818 5/11/2013 6:30AM

    I am reminded by your completed task that de-cluttering always reveals the hidden beauty behind the clutter -- emoticon table!

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JOYINKY 5/10/2013 3:17PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PGVIGIL_1 5/10/2013 12:48PM

    Hey as long as you feel awesome about getting it done that is all that matters. All it takes is that first step and usually at least with me, papers are what take the longest due to having to "read" them :D awesome job! emoticon emoticon

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CHRISTINASP 5/10/2013 11:14AM

    GOOD JOB!!!
Keep on! Stay in the spirit! :)

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