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aaaaauurg! He blew her off again!

Saturday, November 07, 2009

The walmart manager,
who said he would speak to the asst mgr who fired my daughter and call us today (DH confirmed this at the end of our Thurs mtg with him), did not call.
I made Mimi wait until noon to call him and he has left for the day and will be back on Monday.
She is just devastated!
This is her life they are so carelessly disregarding.
She feels like she is being jerked around, and rightfully so.
It is hard to watch her suffer.
There is nothing we can do.
This poor kid has had a tough life.
Nothing is easy for her.
She just went to go walk the beach- what a healthy impulse/coping strategy, isn't it?
She really is such a good kid.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCHATZI4MO 11/7/2009 5:41PM

    OK ... that's strike two. if he is non-responsive on monday, mimi needs to request a meeting with HIS boss. probably best to do in writing ... just in case, documentation is always a good thing. this is so unacceptable and unprofessional ... i'm assuming a level of professionalism is required at the management level of walmart.

good, no fabulous hugs of kudos go out to mimi for how she's coping with this situation. by now i would have eaten everything in the house that wasn't tied down! and pat yourselves on the back too ... everyone knows that children model their parents. yet again, you guys have done things right.

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MARTY19 11/7/2009 5:37PM

    That is such a sleezy thing for him to do. No excuses. But she is so lucky to have you watching her back. I hope he calls you so before you call a lawyer.


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STEPHANIE0904 11/7/2009 4:12PM

    I was out working in the yard today and thinking about this whole situation actually - really no clue why - just was - emoticon

This wasn't what I was expecting to see when I signed on. Quite pathetic. they think that other people have no life and can be left hanging??? That stinks. Let Mimi know that we're thinking of her.


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LULUBELLE1102 11/7/2009 3:44PM

    I say it's time to boycott. What about the Office of Rehabilitative Services? You mentioned them in your last post. Can they be of any help?

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OURELEE1 11/7/2009 3:05PM

  I'm sorry all of you have to go through something like that. Some people just don't have any feeling. The old saying sometime it works out for the best. Your daughter is very lucky to have you and Dh. If someone hurts your child it hurts the parents 10 time more.

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KALATHIA 11/7/2009 3:00PM

    I missed what happened with Mimi, Elizabeth, but it just based on this blog, it sounds like she's having a bit of a rough time. So sorry. She deserves better. Wish there was something I could do.

Keep your chin up.


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DOOBRIE 11/7/2009 1:53PM

    So sorry Mimi is having these problems, Elizabeth. It must be so frustrating for her. And us Mum's hurt too when our kids are upset. I hope things will be better on Monday.



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DARA52 11/7/2009 1:29PM

    I am so sorry. She is lucky to have you both. And to have the insight to walk on the beach. Life isn't easy but that mgr is definitely avoiding the tough stuff. If they haven't given her verbal warnings and then written warnings, they may have to take her back. Both my company and my DH's would lose in a wrongful termination suit if they didn't do that. Hope that's the case for her. Good luck. Will be thinking of her and you.

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so far so good (to be cont'd)

Thursday, November 05, 2009

We showed up for the mtg (rehearsing in the car during the half hour drive) and the manager was totally unprepared.
He had heard of Mimi's termination but had no details and hadn't spoken to anyone about it. Losing one little cart pusher last week was so far down on his radar and list of things to do, it wasn't even funny.
Isn't that amazing - a major life event and source of stress and anxiety in our entire family and he was (understandably) clueless.
So he asked us to wait while he spoke to the asst mgr who fired her last week (who was not at work). He was not able to reach her so had to go by hearsay of other people who seemed to have knowledge of what happened.
We went in there with open minds, in the spirit of cooperation, and I think he responded well to that.
Mimi did such a wonderful job advocating for herself and talking about the situation.
He disagreed with us that her behavior was related to her disability, but he seemed to be pretty unaware of her employment history in general and was protective of walmart's a$$, of course.
He also seemed to be pretty open to finding other solutions to Mimi's problems and admitted to us that he had the power to rescind the termination and possibly allow her to come back or move to another store (I think this would be ideal because it would save face for the asst mgr and give Mimi a fresh start).
Anyway, he is going to meet w/ the asst mgr who fired her on Saturday morning and will call us or have us come back in.
We all felt it went well.
We did not actually use the word 'legal' at all but we did remind him that she was hired under the auspices of a state agency (Office of Rehabilitative Services) with a job coach as a disabled person with behavioral challenges, and also that she seemed to have some sort of personality conflict with someone at that store as she had had more issues in 5 months there than she had had in over 2 years at the other store, and may need more retraining than non-disabled employees.
Mimi's BF met us next door at McD's to take her home for a little TLC.
Thanks again, my wonderful sparkfriends.
emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAYAKID 11/6/2009 11:42AM

    I just got caught up on the your daughter's situation - First I have to say - isn't great that you have so many Spark Friends! They come through for us when we need the most. It looks to me like this will get resolved through the manager - good luck and my thoughts and prayers are with you.


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SCHATZI4MO 11/6/2009 1:44AM

    this is wonderful news ... the manager appears to be open to a "win-win" situation. i will continue to pray for a positive outcome. hugs ~ april

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MISSY_MAGOO 11/5/2009 10:51PM

    I agree- having her at another store sounds like the best idea- I'll keep my fingers crossed. Keep us updated :)

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DHARMAPOLICE 11/5/2009 10:50PM

    What a relief. It's frustrating that the manager didn't understand that Mimi's behavior and disability are linked, but maybe this will serve as an educational experience for him. Way to go!

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AWOLF24 11/5/2009 9:02PM

    I'm really glad to hear that for you and of course for Mimi.

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SKREBEL 11/5/2009 7:43PM


I just finished getting updated on the situation with Mimi-I am hopeful that the situation will be resolved by the gentleman you spoke to today, however if it does not PLEASE let me know if I could help by coming in and speaking on her behalf as a special educator. I also will check around and see if I can get any information on folks who could be helpful in this type of situation. I am thinking that RIPIN might be an agency that could offer some assistance
Hugs to you and your family-Mimi is indeed blessed to be part of such a wonderful caring group who actively advocate for her!!!!

Comment edited on: 11/5/2009 7:43:55 PM

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STEPHANIE0904 11/5/2009 7:28PM

    It sounds like you planned everything so well (I would expect nothing less from you). I'm anxious to hear how everything turns out. You will all be in my thoughts Elizabeth.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DARA52 11/5/2009 6:45PM

    Good job! Probably good you caught him off guard. That doesn't reflect well on mgmt. Will keep fingers crossed.

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MARTY19 11/5/2009 5:40PM

    I find it amazing that something so stressful to you is something his assistant didn't even tell him about. Kinda of sounds like an abuse of power. I hope that he helps her out.


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BETSYBEACH 11/5/2009 4:08PM

    I hope the Walmart Manager comes through for Mimi. Well done!

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DOOBRIE 11/5/2009 3:37PM

    Sounds like the manager was quite nice and took on board what you were saying. I hope you have a good outcome. Hugs to you all.


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MIMICOTO 11/5/2009 3:03PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

I am so proud of Mimi, you and your family for the way you have approached this. Thank you for sharing this with us and giving us an opportunity to learn how to approach problems and issues openly, positively and proactively.

Hoping for a positive outcome for everyone.

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DIANESWMBO 11/5/2009 2:24PM

    so glad it went well and thanks for keeping us posted. It would be nice if your daughter could go to work at another Walmart store, that way she would get a fresh start.

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MAINEACK 11/5/2009 12:59PM

    So glad it went well! I pray it works out so that Mimi can go back to a different story.

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KARENCHAPTER2 11/5/2009 12:52PM

    I am glad things went well and I hope it all works out for Mimi.

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MAUITN 11/5/2009 12:49PM

    Great job and I hoe for the best outcome for all.

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KO1215 11/5/2009 12:48PM

    Sounds like you handled it great!!! That always works better than being mad!

Good job!


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HARRINGTON5 11/5/2009 12:42PM

    Elizabeth, Being prepared really made the difference. You did a great job and I am keeping my fingers crossed, but feel very strongly that this is going to turn out well for everyone. Going to another store is probably the very best solution. How kind of you to be concerned about the asst. mgr saving face. But, much better for Mimi too, not to have face those same people when she comes back. Good job! Keep those positive thoughts! Cynthia

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DEBBIEANNE1124 11/5/2009 12:34PM

    I am pleased it went as well as could be expected. But it's not over till the fat lady sings. LOL
Wish you could give mimi a hug for me.

she deserves the best.


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thanks for advice and support

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Mimi, her dad and I have spent a lot of time mentally preparing and actually verbally rehearsing what she will say at tomorrow's mtg (see yesterday's blog).
I had her sit at my computer and read my blog and all of the comments (which took her a LONG time) and we talked about each one.
I think she was touched that so many strangers (to her) cared about her and her unfortunate situation.
We garnered many tips and ideas from this process, especially from my dear friend, PERFECT01, as many others noticed.
We really appreciate all of the ideas and support and will let you know how it goes tomorrow.
(On our way out for David's 60th b-day party this summer)
We are going in there with positive, problem solving, open minds and hearts and hope for and expect some sort of positive outcome.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RDEEEEEEEEE 11/5/2009 10:57AM

    expect a miracle : )

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BETSYBEACH 11/5/2009 4:46AM

    Best wishes and hugs all around!

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    Best of Luck and you can't lose with the POSITIVE attitude you all have! Whatever happens... it will be RIGHT... I know this in my heart - because everything happens for a reason. When one door closes another one opens so no matter what... keep on being positive as you always are!

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MISSY_MAGOO 11/4/2009 11:18PM

    I didn't get a chance to read yesterday's blog until just now- but i agree with alot of the previous comments and can't think of any thing else to add.
Good luck tomorrow, and if it doesn't work out with Walmart I agree with SCHATZI4MO, it's because there is something better in store for Mimi.
Hoping all goes well-
*hugs* Missy

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AWOLF24 11/4/2009 10:54PM

    Good luck tomorrow! emoticon

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SCHATZI4MO 11/4/2009 10:44PM

    mimi is one of God's children ... he has an unfailing plan for her. if employment at walmart doesn't work out, it's because he has something greater in store.

you are wonderful, loving, and caring parents. i'm so happy mimi was able to see our support ... i hope she will be empowered by it all.

i am praying that, especially tomorrow, God will shield her from any bad thoughts, negative words or actions ... and that she will be stronger, more confident and independent having dealt with this situation. like most people, she will probably always have to fight for her rights. america is not kind to anyone that doesn't "fit into a box" ... be it age, sex, race, religion or even political affiliation.

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MIMICOTO 11/4/2009 8:22PM

    I will be praying for strength, clarity, wisdom and compassion for all of you tomorrow!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STEPHANIE0904 11/4/2009 7:56PM


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DEBBIEANNE1124 11/4/2009 6:50PM

    No matter how tough it is... Tell Mimi not to give up. We learn from our mistakes.
There is always someone out there with much worst problems and issues than us. (even me) LOL



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KARENCHAPTER2 11/4/2009 6:25PM

    I hope everything works out well! Good luck!

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JENNNVA 11/4/2009 6:16PM

    I wish you guys the best! I really hope it all works out! emoticon

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DARA52 11/4/2009 6:10PM

    Most big companies have rules they have to follow when firing someone. Verbal warnings and written warnings. If not, it makes them more eligible to have to pay unemployment benefits and opens the door to wrongful termination. Don't know what the laws are there.

Good luck!

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MARTY19 11/4/2009 5:59PM

    I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.


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DOOBRIE 11/4/2009 5:41PM

    I shall be thinking of you all. Good luck!



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DD got fired

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

My wonderful little 22 yr old daughter, Mimi, got fired from her job at walmart last week, a day before I came home from my vacation.
She is mildly special needs (bipolar, adhd, anxiety disorder, mild PDD) and has worked there, collecting carts, for almost 3 years.
She was supposed to meet with the store manager today but he rescheduled for Thursday morning. DH and I, who have been fostering her independence for the last few years, and try to let her solve her own problems, are going with her. This is too important for her to handle by herself.
She has had several (3-4) relatively minor self-control type incidents in the 5 months or so since she moved to a different store (after having maybe 2 problems in the previous 2 years at her old store).
She is totally shocked and ashamed and confused by this whole thing.
I went with her today to her counselor and we rehearsed some strategies she can use for the meeting, with us there as back up.
Our very last hope will be that legally, perhaps, they cannot fire her for behaviors directly related to her disability, esp. since they knew she was disabled when they hired her.
We can't afford it, but would look for a lawyer if we had to.
I hope it doesn't come to that but this girl NEEDS to work.
Any advice, sparkfriends?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MEXGAL1 11/4/2009 11:13PM

    Elizabeth, You have already gotten lots of good advise. I simply want to say that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

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DARA52 11/4/2009 6:06PM

    Keeping my fingers crossed!

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HARRINGTON5 11/4/2009 5:25PM

    WOW, PERFECT01 sounds like a legal adviser! I'd look into everything she mentioned, sounds like some good advise. Good luck on your meeting. I would boycott Walmart too. Let me know, I'd be delighted.

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IMADAREDEVIL 11/4/2009 1:43PM

    I'm so sorry to hear about this! I offer support and hugs to you and your family.

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SCHATZI4MO 11/4/2009 11:35AM

    there's nothing i can add, perfect01 comments are excellent. it really doesn't seem right ... everyone deserves an opportunity. walmart knew mimi was a special hire, and while self-control incidents are "inconvenient", possibly a disruption ... she isn't a danger to others, and deserves to have her environment assessed to see what is causing the problem ... and then counseled or re-trained if necessary.

i am also more than willing to boycott walmart. mimi will be remembered in my prayers for a positive outcome.

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BETSYBEACH 11/4/2009 8:45AM

    I'm willing to boycott Walmart. I'll be thinking about you!

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LULUBELLE1102 11/4/2009 4:05AM

    Go get 'em Elizabeth. and then if needed we can boycot Walmart. Wouldn't that be lovely less than two months before Christmas!

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PERFECT01 11/3/2009 11:10PM

    Just a thought, you might want to play on the fact that Walmart's public image is that they are so proactive in humanitarian issues. It is part of why they hire people with disabilities. I would make sure that is brought up in a positive statement. I'm sure her counselor has already brought this up, but just in case she hasn't, I would coach her to introduce you when you all go in as her parents and mentors. You could then explain you are there to help her understand the issues, etc. Play it as team players for both the manager and your daughter, explain that you understand there are issues that need to be addressed and that you want to assist you DD to be a proactive member of the Walmart team. Do not even hint at a legal action! It will make her life miserable if the manager caves out of fear of that and it will just make them make sure they can make the firing stand when they do it again, and believe they will do it again.

If you cannot get them to relent and keep her on, then you can check with your state Dept. of Labor. They can advise you if there has been a wrongful fire. Oh, by the way, have you reviewed the employee handbook on how the discipline and firing procedures are followed? And another question, did they hire her through an agreement with an agency that assists people with disabilities. If so, I would check out what their agreement states is expected and what benefit it is to them to have disabled workers employed. In our state, employers actually get a reimbursement of part of the wages. That agreement, if it exists, may be your strongest asset.

Back to while you are in the meeting with the manager. It wouldn't hurt to mention that your DD has always considered her employment with them as a career, not just a job. Saying things such as how much she looks forward to coming to work, etc. help also. Her manager may be a person who has to react with an overshow of power to satisfy his own weak ego, so keep that in mind. I wish I knew more about the supervisor!!! Anyway, another good way to approach the interview would be to have your DD explain what is causing her to have the self control incidents. Has she been able to verbalize to you exactly what triggered the infractions? Is there someone who is pushing her buttons? If so, call that to the manager's attention. If you do not have solid information on what they infractions were, ask the manager to explain those each in detail. If it is appropriate and in your favor, ask your DD if she was aware that was not acceptable behaviour. (Had anyone told her not to do that?) Only ask this if it will be answered in a way that benefits your case.

Another thing is to ask the manager if there is any training or mentoring available to her on the job to help her correct the "inappropriate" behavior. This should raise the question in his mind, "have we done everything we are suppose to do to assist the employee in changing their behavior." Her being a special needs person, most business realize they have to give them more training and direction than most employees. But again, I would start the entire conversation out with that you and your husband are aware of how benevolent Walmart is in its community citizenship. A little stroking goes a long way. (Hope you don't choke on it.) I hope this isn't too rambling. I learned a long time ago that if there is something you want, the best way to get it is to sit down, write up a win-win plan, then implement that plan. There isn't a person in the world who isn't asking, what's in it for me? So, keep in mind you will have to show the manager what's in it for them to keep your daughter employed. Will it keep them out of trouble? Will it make them a hero, if to no one else, to you and your DH? These are things I use when I am trying to come up with the way to present the win-win solution.

I will be sending prayers your way.

Comment edited on: 11/3/2009 11:13:46 PM

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DEBBIEANNE1124 11/3/2009 9:20PM

    Poor Mimi! I can relate Elizabeth. I was fired from my last job that I held for 10 years because my vision was failin and I could no longer see to do the jobs I was hired for. Talk aobut discrimination. I have never looked for work since that day for fear of rejection. this firing can affect Mimi's behavior and self esteem for the rest of her life. I will send positive vibes her way.

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AWOLF24 11/3/2009 9:12PM

    I don't have a lot of advice but others here sure do. Just sending some emoticon

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FITGRL124 11/3/2009 8:45PM

    Oh my - I am so sorry to hear this. I wish I had some good advice for you but unfortunately I can't think of anything. I will be praying for you and I hope that you can get this all worked out.


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DHARMAPOLICE 11/3/2009 8:43PM

    Best of luck to you and to Mimi. Hopefully, this situation will result in a job situation that's right for Mimi, whatever that may be.

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JENNNVA 11/3/2009 8:38PM

    If they understood that she had a disability when they hired her, isn't there a way to work this thing out? Maybe talking to a store manager or human resources? It seems kind of harsh, especially after being there 3 years. Maybe they can take her back on some sort of probationary period?? Just some ideas. Please keep me posted! I hope it all works out!

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MIMICOTO 11/3/2009 8:20PM

    Gosh Elizabeth - I think you guys are approaching this soundly. I'm sure it can't be easy. You have probably already planned to bring her previous good history at the previous location into the discussion with the manager. On top of that, 1THING had some good advice - and I will add my prayers and positive vibes to those of others who have already posted. emoticon

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DRJJ2004 11/3/2009 7:57PM

    Prayer going up for you and Mimi.


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MARTY19 11/3/2009 7:55PM

    I would wait to hear what the manager has to say before doing anything legal. I wil keep you all in my prayers.


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STEPHANIE0904 11/3/2009 7:35PM

    I don't have any advice for you Elizabeth but I'll keep you all in my prayers for a good outcome. emoticon

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1THING 11/3/2009 7:22PM

    Have you considered your local legal aid, your rehabilitive services or your local advocacy council ( persons with disabilities) usually their fees are free of chargeand counselinf free to boot. Good luck1

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tried a new gym

Monday, November 02, 2009

After a year and a half in a post rehab gym (following 2 arthroscopic knee surgeries in 2008) ending May 30th,
I took the summer off and just (!) walked, did a little jogging, water exercises, a wee bit of wiifit, and strength training at home.
My plan was always to find a new gym after my fall trip to Anguilla, so I started today with gym visit #1.
Did you know that most gyms will give you a free visit with a quickie orientation so you can try it out?
I chose to visit a well respected good sized local gym that I had actually belonged to for about 5 years maybe 25 years ago, before we even had a Y in town.
I do like to support local (non-chain) businesses whenever possible, but, realistically, for me the bottom line will hugely influence my choice because
which is why I do my little elder care business, BTW.
Anyway, the gym was just fine, well maintained and clean, not too crowded, about the right amount of equipment and classes.
I got the rate sheet but would have to sit down and drive a hard bargain to make it work for me.
In the meantime, there are 2 other gyms nearby I will be visiting
-NOT the Y, which is mega crowded,
but one other local gym, and one chain, World Gym,
where I suspect I may not be able to negotiate a better rate.
So I surely enjoyed working out in a gym today and am looking forward to trying out the others, as well.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSY_MAGOO 11/3/2009 6:41PM

    Great tip- trying the gym first. I didn't know you could do that. While on vacation over the weekend I used the hotel gym and liked it- which made me start thinking about joining one for a few months during the cold winter months since I won't be able to do much outdoors (where I prefer to normally work out). I'll have to try a few out before I make my decision.

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RUNGIRL68 11/3/2009 4:03PM

    I forgot to mention, I go to the South County Y. That's where you'd go, right? Really, the people are super nice there!

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DIANESWMBO 11/3/2009 9:15AM

    I agree about trying out a gym before you commit yourself for any long term. I joined my gym a year ago, signed for only a few months. It's a small gym, where you recognize or get to know some of the regular members. I go early morning and really love the classes. I found I need to have the classes, it keeps me motivated and I will do the whole hour plus 30 minutes cardio. At home I weould quite after 10 or 15 minutest.

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NHGRL68 11/3/2009 7:10AM

    Good job on your good workout and your gym research! Being in a gym will probably really help motivate you to keep up your workouts. Keep up the great work! emoticon emoticon

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MARTY19 11/3/2009 6:51AM

    I loved the gym near my old home which had a pool but when I moved, I joined Planet Fitness. It is good (no pool or classes) and basic membership is $9.99/month. My goal for November is to use it 5-6 days a week.


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ELKAY6 11/3/2009 6:42AM

    Watch for specials on some of the gyms too. I joined Planet Fitness when they had a deal of $99 for the whole year. They don't have classes but they do have a lot of equipment and they have trainers that you can set up free appointments with to go over how to use all the different equipment. I think they offer 4 different types of appointments. The one I go to is very clean and while it is busy, I haven't had to wait for any cardio equipment.

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BETSYBEACH 11/3/2009 5:26AM

    Elizabeth - we belong to the Cranston Y and I only go at non peak times! I like the idea of sampling for free... keep us posted.

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    It's great that they allow you to try a first session for free! Once my exam is over... I will get back to focusing on that part of my life goals! Wishing you all the luck in your search and selection! Keep on SParking My dear Friend!

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DOOBRIE 11/3/2009 2:03AM

    Interesting blog Elizabeth - I hope you find a gym you love!

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DEBBIEANNE1124 11/2/2009 10:04PM

    good for you for checking them out. That is what I did. Actually I found on SP "Gym ticket" and put in my zip code then I was emailed a list of several local gyms and free passes tot ry them out. Now that my membership is up I would like to join another gym and will be doing jsut what you did. thanks for the reminder.

Go with the one that is perfet for you.


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RUNGIRL68 11/2/2009 9:52PM

    I belong to a Y, and it's fine. Not as clean as some of the other gyms I've belonged to, but the people are so nice. Keep in mind that private gyms can be a little flexible on their rates, so ask them to reduce the price. And I don't mean asking them if they can, suggest a price to them that you are willing to pay, and then walk if they don't accept. You're better off now than in a month when people are looking for their New Years plans.

Also, if you have digital cable, you may not even need a gym. Go to the Free Zone, and check out Health and Wellness. Under that is Exercise TV, which has tons of great workouts!

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PERFECT01 11/2/2009 9:39PM

    Good for you! A step toward taking off that October weight! Good thing I worked out at the pool and really watched what I ate today! LOL

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DHARMAPOLICE 11/2/2009 9:30PM

    Teachers are so grossly underpaid. Hope you find a gym that suits both your heart and your wallet!

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AWOLF24 11/2/2009 9:18PM

    Sounds like you are being very smart about it. And getting a few free workouts too! LOL But you are so right to fing a gym that really fits your needs instead of one that is just convenient. That way, you'll have less excuses to NOT exercise and actually WANT to go there. emoticon

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CRYSTALWARE 11/2/2009 8:54PM

    Its great that you are trying out these gyms before making a commitment. We toured ours and tested the equipment and I took a class before putting down the cash. We got a great deal at our Rec Center which is always a plus. Good luck with your hunt! I'm sure you will find exactly what you're looking for.

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THEAQUAPANDA 11/2/2009 8:53PM

  That's a good idea. I used to do that with tanning places, but I didn't think of it for gyms. Maybe I will go check one or two out this week.

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