15,000-19,999 SparkPoints
MDGARDENGIRL's Recent Blog Entries

Fear Makes Us Fat?

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

"Fear Makes Us Fat" by Dr. Richard Gould

"Food craving is a mental phenomena that is really a desire for something else that's buried deep (but safely) in the back of your mind. If you accept this premise (which I believe is fact) then you'll begin to understand what I mean when I say fear makes you fat.

It is the fear of your own "hidden truth" that is the origin of the mental phenomena that creates the cravings.

You are literally too afraid to engage your feelings for fear that they will lead you to a deeper feeling of powerlessness. At that moment in time your mind plays a trick on you. It says, "Go get something to eat, and then you won't have to deal with this unknown fear."

I have been successful with dieting.... FINALLY! Thanks to this website and some really awesome Teams and Spark friends who taught me and motivated me to eat right. I get the scientific side of food. Carbs, Protein, Fat, Exercise. But I was still missing the emotional connection. Dr. Gould's message made me dig deep.

So the question I asked myself is "Did Fear Make Me Fat?"

No doubt, fear is at the root of all things negative in our lives. But as Dr. Gould says, it is so deeply embedded that we don't really know what is behind it. I have tried to link fear and food together and I always come back to fear of not being in control. And why is control so important to me? When I think about the negatives in my childhood it is always of a father who was in complete control of our lives. There was no thinking for yourself, free will to do what we wanted, when we wanted. The farm work always came first. We all had chores. None of my siblings were exempt. We started at a very young age. I remember doing dishes every night on a chair pulled up to the sink because I was too small to reach the sink. It wasn't hard work. Just constant. The constant putting aside what I wanted is what I think of always being there as a child growing up. When we did get some freedom to play, it was such a joy and privilege.

Then there were Thursdays. Mom would go grocery shopping on Thursday and we would get off the bus and race down the lane to get to the candy drawer filled with bags of candy and goodies. Oh what excitement! With five of us kids, it was gone the same day. So somehow as an adult, I associated that with food as a treat and something that will be gone if I don't eat it now. I remember when I left home I was ecstatic because I could eat whatever I wanted! And I did. Gained 20 lbs in no time flat. Was 180lbs at the age of 20. Then I spent the next 35 years depriving myself of eating what I really wanted and used those foods as "treats" and "rewards". Food was now controlling my life. The cycle was embedded in my brain. If I went out with friends to a restaurant, I sooo wanted desert. Not because I was hungry, but because it was there! Just like the candy drawer. And somewhere in the back of my head I was thinking, it will be gone if I don't get it now!

So I think between the two childhood experiences, food has controlled my life, been my joy and my fear. Love to eat. Afraid to eat. Pay the price.

Now that I understand the chemical reactions in the brain from carbs and sugar, I can control my cravings. I have found substitutions for those comfort foods that are just as satisfying and I am content. And if I do eat them, a little bit is satisfying. I have learned moderation. And I am in CONTROL! Do I still fear being controlled..... yes. But it isn't manifested by food. I am free.

I share this with you my Spark friends, because it is so important to figure out our food addiction and what is at the root of it. I don't think the question is "How" did we get fat? but "Why" did we get fat? It certainly isn't because we wanted to! There is an underlying cause. Being over weight isn't just about food. It's about emotions, life experiences, conditioning and habits. So how about you? Is Fear making you Fat?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOLDENRODGIRL 12/16/2012 1:08PM

    That's interesting.

I'm in the midst of a divorce from an emotionally abusive man, and I was amazed at how quickly I started to lose weight, especially around my belly, once I started SP (about three months after separating from him). I had attributed at least some of that to decreased cortisol, which does tend to contribute to weight gain and which is caused by stress (which certainly includes fear!). I hadn't made the connection between my eating habits and my fear of my ex, though; thanks for that link!

Report Inappropriate Comment
OOLALA53 12/15/2012 11:10PM

    Gould helped me, too, but in the end, I did have to (and still sometimes) go through saying no to food that I "want."

It's interesting the we in the States feel so deprived and restricted by rules that whole cultures adhere to with little rebellion. Up to the last the years, the French and Italians followed meal rules, in that they rarely ate snacks, but children didn't grow up and start bingeing on snack food in defiance. I think we have a general culture of impulsiveness around food and any attempt to control it can end up feeling like unfairness. But it's not. Humans evolved without easy access to food all the time. It's natural to have to institute some guidelines to be sane in our choices. emoticon

Comment edited on: 12/16/2012 1:02:43 AM

Report Inappropriate Comment
TWILIGHTEYES 12/7/2012 1:32PM

    Wonderful blog, Marg!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHUBRUB3 12/4/2012 10:31PM

    Awesome Marg!!!
We need to face our fears, and for me fear does make me fat. I am trying to fight it and somedays I win, others I don't. It is a battle I will never give up.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
EDDYMEESE 12/4/2012 9:10PM

    What a great share! A lot of what you said really resonates. I, too, was raised that way - we always had to be doing something when my dad was around (also a good way to avoid getting spanked). I was always chubby (but funny enough, in pictures that I look at, not really THAT chubby...just not SKINNY) and was never made to feel comfortable in my body. I could never ask for seconds or have a snack without being chided. So yeah, now that I'm grown up, I eat seconds and snack whenever I want because for 18 years I was afraid! Now I eat because I can, not because I want. Thanks for posting...this has been very enlightening!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LITTLETEAPOT17 12/4/2012 6:04PM

    Very wise words Marg! Thanks for sharing.

We both have come so far in our journeys--learned so much together. We have put all the pieces together and have Victory in knowledge of our emotional and physical body and it's relationship with food.

We both have control over our food now and we will forever be liberated from the power it once had over us.

We are FREE!! FREE!! FREE!! Oh Joyous day!!

Love you my special sister!! emoticon
Hugs, p

Report Inappropriate Comment
NOMORENOMORE 12/4/2012 4:37PM


I'll speak for myself and say I am addicted to food. I use food as a way to feel good and/or soothe myself. Working on dealing with feelings rather than hiding from them. Hard though!


Report Inappropriate Comment

Never saw this NSV coming!

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

As I sat here watching the rain, I thought I had to do something productive. So on my list of things to get done was clean out a closet. This has been on my To Do list for 2 years! So not excuses, I went to the back bedroom closet and there were a bunch of old "skinny" clothes staring back at me. Do you have one of these? A closet full of clothes with hopes that someday you will get back into them? I had dresses, blazers, jeans, pants, jackets..... all from 10 - 15 years ago when I was in Size 14's. Some still had the tags left on them.... too tight when I bought them. You know.... I'll lose a few pounds and get into these.. yeah right!

So, thinking that I wouldn't have to go shopping for smaller clothes for a while, I started trying them on. And trying them on. And trying them on. My smile got bigger, and Bigger and BIGGER as the Goodwill pile got bigger, and Bigger and BIGGER!!! I ended up with 2 Petite Blazers, a jacket and one pair of jeans. The rest were Too BIG!

Happy Dance!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I have been in a bit of a funk lately and just couldn't seem to snap out of it. I think my Skinny Angel was watching over me today and decided to sprinkle some "Happy" and "Motivate" dust on me. This has been one of the best Non-Scale Victories I have had so far!

What are some of your NSV's? Let's Celebrate! emoticon

xoxoxo Marg

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEXASGIRL48 10/5/2012 8:32AM

    This is awesome. I posted the question of the day before I saw your blog. Great minds work alike.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSILENE 10/4/2012 7:24PM

    You are terrific. Proud of you. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
-LINDA_S 10/3/2012 10:01AM

    Congrats! That's great! I've done some recent "shopping" myself with good results. It feels great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBIGENE 10/3/2012 10:00AM

    OMG that's fantastic !!!! Silly as it sounds I remember when I could finally get a towel wrapped around me and tuck it in !!! That was a tru sign of success to me too. I have had several others since that one that I will make a list of and make a blog about myself soon. Thannks for the idea.

Hope you have a fabulous rest of the week, you are AWESOME !!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PLMITCH 10/3/2012 9:19AM

    I still have a bunch of "fat" clothes in the basement that have to go to Goodwill. It looks like Sunday is going to be a rainy and cool day so I will likely be in the basement doing that, bottling my home made Pinot Grigio, and vacuuming up dirt and BUGS!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CASE4GRACE 10/3/2012 7:43AM

    What a wonderful surprise - and so well deserved!!! You are doing amazing work improving your health and reshaping your body. You are an inspiration to me! WAY TO GO!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LITTLETEAPOT17 10/3/2012 7:31AM

    Marg what an inspirational blog my friend!

I am so happy right along with you!! How wonderful that must have felt!! This story makes ME do the happy dance with you...

You are an amazing woman and wonderful role model to all of us....AND now you really will have to go shopping! So much fun to be thin.....!!!
Love ya

Report Inappropriate Comment
BERKCHIK 10/3/2012 7:26AM

    Congrats! Nothing...not even the scale can beat the thrill of trying on old tight clothes that now are too loose!

Love your acorns by the way ;-)

Report Inappropriate Comment
LJCANNON 10/2/2012 10:43PM

    emoticon Yep, your Skinny Angel was definitely On Duty!! Congratulations on a Job Well Done!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHUBRUB3 10/2/2012 10:36PM

    So happy to hear your news Marg!!
Love this NSV and your happy dance too!
Dancing with you!
Love and hugs,
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PJC19671 10/2/2012 10:20PM

    Marg I am so proud of you girl. Good job emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BBAMMOM 10/2/2012 9:32PM

    WooHoo! I'm so proud of you, my friend!

Report Inappropriate Comment
XENA47 10/2/2012 9:28PM

    That is AWESOME!!! So happy for you!


I had a non scale victory a month or so ago when I was actually able to fit into a pair of my teenage daughter's blue jeans. It's fortunate she and I prefer different colors or there would be a lot of confusion sorting laundry.

Report Inappropriate Comment

    W2G girl! that is so awesome. I had about the same NSV this morning and blogged about my old/new bathing suit. I am so happy for you! I'll be doing the happy dance with ya.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

or some reason my comment didn't post the first time. so if this is a duplicate i'm sorry...

Report Inappropriate Comment
MDGARDENGIRL 10/2/2012 7:20PM

    Bonnie..... the Skinny Fairies are everywhere!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    That's awesome marg, I had just about the same kind of day. I found my bathing suit in my drawer that was collecting dust for 5 years. It fits, i was so excited today. I'm so Happy you had the same kind of day!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAPUNZEL53 10/2/2012 7:07PM


Report Inappropriate Comment

Recipe for Buffalo Chicken Burgers... Yummo!

Monday, September 10, 2012

My sister (IAMSHERYL1) made these last week while we were on vacation together. I never thought ground chicken could taste so good! So after several requests, here is the recipe!

Buffalo Chicken Burger
Submitted by: MDGARDENGIRL

This is a recipe for a burger that is a play on buffalo wings.

Minutes to Prepare: 10
Minutes to Cook: 15
Number of Servings: 4


12 oz organic chicken, ground
1/3 cup Blue Cheese crumbles, low fat
1 stalk of celery, diced
2 tblsp diced onion (optional
1/4 cup of water
1/4 cup flour for coating

Franks Red Hot sauce


Mix all ingredients except Franks Hot sauce. Coat lightly in flour and place in medium heated pan that has been sprayed with cooking spray. Cook for 5-6 min and turn over. Cook for another 4-5 min. Turn off heat and sprinkle the hot sauce over the burgers..(I do both sides). Wait a few minutes and serve.

Serving Size: Makes four (4) 3oz. burgers

Nutritional Info:
Servings Per Recipe: 4
Amount Per Serving:
Calories: 206.2
Total Fat: 10.6 g
Cholesterol: 75.7 mg
Sodium: 189.7 mg
Total Carbs: 7.6 g
Dietary Fiber: 0.6 g
Protein: 18.7 g

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBIGENE 9/11/2012 7:09PM

    OMG it sounds delish I will def be making these. Thanks for sharing the recipe !!!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Sounds good. I don't think I've ever had ground chicken.

Report Inappropriate Comment

    thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LITTLETEAPOT17 9/11/2012 4:51AM

    Thanks Marg--I am definately going to make this!
YUMMY for my TUMMY!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    Sounds yummy

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHUBRUB3 9/10/2012 11:19PM

thanks Marg! Thanks to your sister too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROCKYCPA 9/10/2012 10:36PM

    sounds great - will have to try!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Never Quit Pledge
Sunday, August 05, 2012

Today, I promise I will not quit.

I pledge that no matter, how many ups and downs I pass through, I will continue on my journey.

I pledge to make a NEW START today, and forgive myself for my past, and to stop being so critical of myself.

I pledge to take control of myself, to stop making excuses, and stop blaming other people or situations.

I pledge to treat myself as I would my best friend, because that is who I am.

I pledge to stay in the race and to be a WINNER!

signed: Leisa (Sunflowergal40)

Signed: Chris (chriskenandkids)

Signed: Linda (scoutmom715)

Signed: Nancy (tedybear2838)

(from Linda S. Jayne (Geminisue)

Signed: Vicki aka VICKI-B--56

Signed; Pixie (Pixie-Licious)

Signed: Gloria (GloriaB73)

signed Fran

Signed Sarah (Millie 5522)

Signed Shelby (theshelbster)

Signed Beckie (BIRKIE528)

Signed Debaune (Doobie893)

Signed by Wallahalla on Friday, June 29, 2012

Signed by Karen (MAMAWALMART) on June 29,2012

Signed by Sibille (musolf6) Friday June 29,2012

Signed Shirley (Lookingup2012) Friday, June 29, 2012 who needs to do this because she quit SP three times in 3 years.

Signed Susan (catladyx8) Friday June 29, 2012

Signed John (Johntj1) Saturday June 30, 2012

Signed Deb (jewelle217) Saturday, June 30, 2012

Signed Kathy (Kalantha) Saturday, June 30, 2012

Signed elizabeth (MEADSBAY) Saturday June 30, 2012

Signed Caz (NEW-CAZ) Saturday June 30, 2012

Signed Julie (Shawfan) Saturday, June 30, 2012

Signed Michele (BeFit012) Saturday June 30, 2012

Signed Cheryl (Clavinova) Saturday, June 30,2012

Signed Sarah (NOTGIVINGUP49) Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Signed Bobbi (SLIMMER_197) Saturday, July 28, 2012

Signed Cherie (BIGSKYCHERIE) Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Signed Janet (EATVEGAN) Tuesday, July 31, 2012


Signed Jenn (Plynsn316) AUGUST 2, 2012

Signed MaryAnn (MARYANNGI) AUGUST 2, 2012

Signed Diane (DianeDoesSmiles) August 8/2/2012

Signed Helen (Helen_Bru) August 3/2012

Signed Maria (winfield28) August 5, 2012

Signed: elizabeth (meadsbay) Aug 5, 2012

Signed: Debbie (debbieanne1124) Aug. 5, 2012

Signed: Marg (MdGardengirl) Aug. 7, 2012

Will you blog and post the Never Quit Pledge, today/soon?

To do so, copy and paste and put on ur page under blog. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADY_CALDERON83 8/12/2012 10:36PM

  Good for you, way to go... I'm in. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DEBIGENE 8/8/2012 11:07PM

    Loved this, thanks for sharing. I pledged too !!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LITTLETEAPOT17 8/7/2012 12:54PM

    Cheering you on always!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Way to go Marg! All the way!!
Two Bits, Four Bits, Six Bits a Dollar
All for Marg, Stand up and Hollar!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSILENE 8/7/2012 10:51AM

    YES...FOR MISS ILENE emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHUBRUB3 8/7/2012 10:49AM

    Yeah Marg!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment

My One Year Bandiversary visit to the Doctor

Saturday, May 26, 2012

It's been a year!! And what an experience it has been. A wonderful one that has changed my lifestyle forever! My focus has changed to finding the BEST foods to put into my body and getting the exercise I need to work it off. It's amazing to me how something as small as the Lapband can make such a big difference!

I had my 1 year doctor's checkup yesterday. I was a little anxious. Maybe curious is a better word? I took in my weight loss graph of pounds and inches lost with a list of the few things I focus on daily. And nutrition averages.... protein, carbs, fat, sodium. All from using the Spark Tracker! Such a wonderful tool folks. I encourage all to use it!

Anyway, thought it would be good to share what the checkup was like and the things I learned.

First, my Doc reviewed my graph and it provided some good dialogue about the band and what I was doing right and where I could make changes to improve my weight loss. She was pleased with my progress. She recommended a fill based on the following:

1) I hit a plateau 6mos out and she says that is normal and means a fill is needed (as long as I am following the basic band guidelines).
2) I do NOT "feel" full after eating. I stop eating on my own.
3) Get hungry 2-3 hrs later. (This is not the case for me as long as I manage my carbs.)

I asked about checking the band. They do not do fluroscopes unless there are problem symptoms like reflux and vomiting. They do blood work on the yearly exam and that's it! She said after the first year, and as long as I am trying to lose weight, I should come in for a checkup every 3-4 months.

She asked a lot of questions about my eating. These are her guidelines:

...Bulk protein first, then bulk veggies/fruit, then starch if still hungry, but shouldn't be if fill is correct.
...Drink 30min before and 1 hr after. Absolutely no fluid in between.
...Eliminate protein shakes as a meal if possible
...3 meals.... no snacking
...Exercise, exercise, exercise!!

I asked her how much volume I should be eating. She doesn't go by all the written guidelines out there. She finds that everyone is different. The key is to follow the guidelines above and, if you are not losing weight or feeling hungry between meals, you need a fill. She said (and I love this!), people need to listen to their body and get to know their hunger signals and triggers. She loves that I track my food and have a support group that is focused on accountability. (THAT"S YOU! THANK YOU!)

I asked her about problems she sees with the band 1-2 yrs out and she said almost all are as a result of the band being too tight and the patient doesn't call their doctor right away! If you have night time reflux or vomiting more than 2x's a week, you should see your doctor immediately and don't wait for months or a year. And not your regular doctor, because they will just give you medication for the symptoms.

Got a 1/2cc fill. I am now 9cc's in my 11cc band. Am sticking to the 2 days of liquid/soft food. I may even do an additional day of soft food just to be on the safe side.

So that was it! No big deal. Got a good reminder of the basic rules of living with the lapband. Something I hope to do successfully for the rest of my life.

Everyone's program is different. What was your last visit like? And what are your doctor's orders??? Do you follow them?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LITTLETEAPOT17 5/29/2012 5:59PM

    Thanks Marg for the information and reminder to follow the rules. You are an inspiration to us all and a blessing.
Hugs, dear friend!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PLMITCH 5/27/2012 8:32AM

    Sounds like a very good visit. Congrats on your one year anniversary!

Report Inappropriate Comment
BBAMMOM 5/26/2012 8:26PM

    I am so glad you had a great visit and very proud of your success. Great idea on bringing in your SP tracker! Thanks for sharing!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHUBRUB3 5/26/2012 6:26PM

    Thankyou Marg for your blog and Dr's advice!
Awesome information my friend!
I am going to use some of this too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PJC19671 5/26/2012 10:03AM

    Good info thanks for sharing. Congratulations on your lapband success. My plan is the same way, we have good lapband doctors thank god. I have heard people say they have gone to Mexico to have it done and have had nothing but, problems and cant find a doctor in the US to help them I never would of gone that route. I love my lapband tool. Happy one year bandiversary. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

1 2 3 4 Last Page