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Am I not worth it?

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Contemplating this lately…am I not worth it??? Am I not worth the effort it takes? Am I too lazy? Do I just not care? Do I feel unworthy? Am I trying to keep people away? Or is it I just want to be loved for who I am…as I am? Am I trying to prove something to my Ex who walked away from a 22 year marriage because I couldn’t/wouldn’t lose the weight and keep it off? Don’t I deserve someone to love me unconditionally as I have given it?
But don’t I also deserve to be healthy? Happy with myself? To feel good in my own skin? To smile an absolute TRUE smile that comes from way down deep and not the one I “put on” each day for those around me? Don’t I deserve that?
On the surface I feel I DO deserve to give myself a better me. Problem is the self hatred talk ends up over riding that. I need to dig deeper and realize I am worth what it takes. I need to truly believe I am worth it…for me…no one else…just me. I am worth it! Going to tell myself this over and over and over until it sticks…until I believe it whole heartedly. I AM WORTH IT!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAMAPERRY 6/4/2011 9:59PM

    Yes you are!

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DROSS0616 5/17/2011 9:31AM

    You are worth it!

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    You ARE worth it! Maybe you can make a scrap book, or little spot on the wall, just where you post things that make YOU happy in general, and happy about Yourself!

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DONNAGOWAN 5/17/2011 8:58AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Somethings Gotta Give...Tired of it being my waistband.

Monday, May 16, 2011

The ups and downs have to stop. I have to stop letting my emotions and stresses rule my mind & my mouth. Need to stop the ridiculous justification game I play with myself. Yes, life sometimes feels doesnt make So that gives me the right to eat to comfort and gain and be more miserable and unhappy? Ok...lets say it does. Is that what I want out of life? No...I really dont think so.
Time to get moving again and focus on me. Time to matter. I matter.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KAMAPERRY 6/4/2011 10:00PM

    Amen to that.

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SUSANISTHIN34 5/16/2011 10:35AM

    I am right here with you on this one!! I believe that when we finally put ourselves first and take care of what really matters, the rest will improve with it.
Hang in there and I hope you are able to make it a magnificent Monday!!!

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Get Me Out of This Cocoon!

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Not long after separating from my husband (who am I kidding - he left), my sister gave me a beautiful card that hangs on my fridge to remind and inspire me. It simply says, “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over… it became a butterfly”. I want to become the “butterfly” I know is there in me. I just feel totally stuck in this cocoon. Sometimes I think I’m even content (briefly) to just withdraw from the world and stay a fat, squishy caterpillar. But when I do peek outside, I see a life I want to be a part of. I’m READY TO EMERGE and fly! Now, can someone please help me out of this damn cocoon… it’s a little tight…must have shrunk in the dryer…anybody?…hello?


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