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No sleep

Friday, June 25, 2010

I didn't get any sleep again last night. Its becoming a pattern. I did get tons of things done before anyone else got up though. I gues thats the silver lining.

My kids are almost done school and then I get them all to myself for two whole months. I can't wait. If you ask me again in a couple of weeks I might have a different opinion though.

Eating is okay. Not the best choices but keeping the calories low. I have reached another mini-plateau. I Haven't lost anything in about 2 weeks. I need to step up my cardio I guess.

Have a good weekend.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALYSSAMICHELLE5 6/26/2010 1:03PM

    I know all about the no sleep. It is starting to become a real issue.

I hope that you can get some good sleep! Sometimes it makes all the difference!

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Hormones and mixed signals questions

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

My hormones are still driving me nuts. Its been a few months now and I was hoping they would calm down a bit. Is this normal for 44? My husband is driving me nuts to the point where I think about leaving. I love this man so why do I think things like that? Must be the hormones. My children are on my mind 80 percent of the time. I worry about them constantly. I attribute this in part to what has happened to Jordan at school and the rest to hormones. I find myself thinking about other men ALOT. One in particular but I know nothing will ever happen so its just fantasizing. I want someone man other than my husband to find me attractive and to desire me. Once again, its the hormones talking. I am lucky if I get 3 hours of sleep a night. One day I am starving and the next I have to force myself to eat. I have another 6 years before menopause. Am I going to be like this until then???

What do you do when someone sends you mixed signals? One day they are warm and friendly and the next day they are distant. Its confusing. I really need a friend so its upsetting.

Did 60 minutes on the bike. I haven't done much walking or hiking since its been warmer. I just can't handle the heat. My bike is in the basement so its nice and cool.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAMANTHA44 7/7/2010 3:31PM

    I am speaking for myself, I went through of alot of what your feeling and I was going through Menopause early. I was 40, and it took forever for my GYN to listen and do a blood test to find out for sure. It did explain alot of what I was going through. Just a might want to see if it's early menopause!

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CYNEDRA 6/23/2010 2:35PM

    So I double checked to make sure I didn't write it.

44 - check
kids worry - check
not sleeping - check
aggravated with spouse 3/4 of time even though he isn't any different than he ever was - check
other men - don't know I never see real people or so it seems
mixed signals from people you were hoping to be friends with - check.
probably no menopause until 50 - check.

Are you sure I didn't write this.

I'm so with you on the friend thing. I had a really really really bad day on Monday and during it I kept thinking if I just had a friend I could call, I think I could handle this. Instead, I ate twice my suggested calories - not good.

Anyway, you are not alone in this.

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MCHOPPER 6/23/2010 1:59PM

    No, not Mr. Brown. I think we have learned how to deal with each other to help Jordan. He's a good guy.

I doubt it is anxiety. I already take an antidepressant. With all the sexual feelings I am having I am pretty sure its hormonal. Lets face it, by the age of 44, with three kids and two husbands, the libido starts to diminish but not lately.

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LADY_DONKEY 6/23/2010 1:51PM

    When someone sends me mixed signals, I do one of two things:
1. Focus on the positive: If the signal is negative or "not positive", then I just chalk it up to that person's bad day.


2. Take anything and everything this person says and does towards me with a grain of salt, because it could change at any minute.

Are we talking about Mr. Brown again?

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TKAYSMILES 6/23/2010 1:50PM

    Maybe you should talk to your dr. about what is going on. It might not be hormonal but more anxiety related. Some type of medication might help you out with all of this. I suffer from depression and anxiety so know from experience that it can give you all kinds of different symptoms. But the worry and stuff like that sounds more like anxiety then hormonal. Especially if it is the same all month or do your symptoms get worse when you are about to start your period??? Call your dr!!

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LANGHAM71 6/23/2010 1:36PM

    Sometime, I wonder if I am the only one experiencing the samething. I guess you are speaking for both of us, except I can't same if it is the hormones, I think it is my dieting...Staying focus on lossing weight does create mix signals between people...



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No perogies for me.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I went to pick up my two youngest boys at school yesterday and Jordan (grade 2) had that guilty look on his face. I was finally able to get the story out of him. He was sent to the principals office with another boy because they had gotten into a fight. Jordan said he punched the other kid. He still had that quilty look though so I figured there was more to it than that. So I emailed the principal and requested another meeting to discuss it. I just heard back and it turns out Jordan told me the truth and that the punch was just to get the kid off of him. I don't need to see the principal. Yeah. Email is so great. I don't know why he had the guilty look though. Maybe just because he had to see Mr. Brown again.

Did 75 minutes total on the bike yesterday. None yet today. I am making perogies tonight which I love. It is going to be hard to resist them. I know I should treat myself once in a while, but I am so afraid of another 13 month binge. I want to be a hot 44 year old instead of looking like I am a blimp with legs. One day I will have to trust myself but I am not at that point yet.

I have my teenager home all day today. He has exams the rest of the week so it will probably be out last day together alone for a while. We have no plans for the day. Teenagers are not exactly energetic sometimes.

Have a great day everyone.


Another busy weeek ahead

Monday, June 21, 2010

It is going to be a busy week for me. My teenager has exams and some study sessions so I have to drive him into town five times. On two of the days I have to be at both schools at the same time. Don't know how I am going to manage that one. I will somehow manage just like I always do.

I haven't gotten any sleep the last few nights (so what else is new). I keep trying but nothing happens. I wish there was a way to turn off my brain for a few hours. There is a forest fire about 50 miles from here and I have been smelling the smoke all night. That doesn't help with the sleeping.

I did 60 minutes on the bike last night. I have gotten to a higher speed which totally amazes me. I am going to slowly start raising the tension. I want to lose 3 more pounds by the end of the month to bring it to a nice round number. I don't know if I can manage it or not, but I am going to try. We are supposed to go out to dinner to celebrate the last day of school but I don't know what I am going to be able to eat without blowing everything. I am so afraid that if I have even one bite of something I will start to binge. The last binge lasted 13 MONTHS. I am finally down to where I was before that binge.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TKAYSMILES 6/21/2010 4:58PM

    Keep up the great work!

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Do not eat at the Costco food bar

Friday, June 18, 2010

My two youngest kids are home from school today. Its report card writing day. Its the last day of school for my older one although he has exams next week. I think they will all be glad to have some time off. We aren't going on holidays until August but I'm sure we will find plenty to do around here until then.

I have been trying to eat more. I did okay yesterday despite dinner being a peanut butter sandwich. I wasn't feeling the best so I didn't make dinner. Today the kids wanted to meet Gord for lunch and go to the Costco food bar. I looked it up online and it is so HIGH. One slice of cheese pizza is 700 calories and the fries are 980. I was able to talk them out of Costco and instead we are meeting Gord at the mall food court. I will probably have a muffin from Tim Hortons which is 430 calories. A bit higher than I would like since its pizza night, but I've been good.

I have been doing really well on the bike. Its started to heat up here so I doubt I will get much more hiking done. The heat makes me ill. It doesn't even have to be that hot. My oldest son gets really sick too. Its a good thing we live in the north. Thankfully, my bike is in the basement where it is cooler.

I have still been feeling so bad about the Jordan's problems at school and the whole mess with the principal. I haven't been sleeping alot because of it. I sent him an email this morning just to touch base about how things are going for Jordan. I feel ALOT better now. His reply was very nice. When I go to the school I try to avoid him. Not because I don't want to talk to him or anything because I actually like the man. I just try to stay out of his way so he can't dislike me any more. I guess you could call it being considerate. In the email he said he noticed Jordan was doing better as well. I am glad to hear that. Even his school work this last week seems so much better. He has been talking about some of the lessons which he doesn't usually do. Its usually in one ear and out the other, but now he seems to be absorbing some of it. He is starting to get his focus back. Its because he isn't worried about getting hit anymore. I sure wish I would have gone to the principal earlier in the year before it all snowballed, but I can't change that now. All that matters is that he is getting better.

My doctor appointment went well. It was a sub so she didn't know that I hadn't gone for my tests. I want to get down a bit more before I have it done. I told her she HAD to mark my weight down in my file for Dr. Raymond to see. She even showed me the graph. I was having a proud moment. LOL My BMI has gone down alot too. I am sticking to it and that is incredible for me. Still no one has noticed though.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TKT123 6/20/2010 10:03AM

    your so consious of what your eating Lori, I am so so proud of you...that a girl...keep it up...and school will be done soon for your precious son..and that will help with the stress...many hugs girl friend.

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TKAYSMILES 6/18/2010 1:04PM

    you are doing good though, keep it up! Do you not feel better and you can tell the difference! I know it is kind of frustrating when people don't acknowledge all the hard work you are doing, but just keep at it and it will come!!

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