Tuesday, July 09, 2013
That's how I feel these days. Lost and this "whatever" state of mind. It's just food. I starve or over eat the evil foods. So sick of the constant war and battle with myself. Sick of the heartbreak in life that makes me turn to emotional eating. Girl breaks my heart (yes, a girl), friends break my heart, job, Mom and the list goes on. I'm annoyed that I'm annoyed by these people who hurt me. Ready to give up. I won't. But, I'm ready. Just had to write this publicly for accountability. The end. Tomorrow is a new day. Not different or better...just new.
Wednesday, March 06, 2013
I watched a documentary last week called Hungry for Change, my son was baptized yesterday and many other things have led me to this feeling inside of healing, growth and peace that I've never felt before.
When I found this movie on Netflix on my phone late one night while lying in bed not being able to sleep I think it was answered prayer. A friend of mine is working alone in Louisiana and asked me if there were any good movies to watch on Netflix. I logged in and accidentally found Hungry for Change in the newly available section. I have watched many food documentaries over the last few years, so I thought Iíd try it. Let me tell you - THIS movie changed me!!!! It helped me trigger that place inside of me that reads labels again and knows the difference of right and wrong when I'm putting products into my grocery cart. Your body image and healthy self really does begin with SELF LOVE. I highly recommend watching this movie!!!! It's VERY informative and gets you in the gut and it wonít leave your soul or brain. It sounds extreme, but Iím dead serious! I watched it in sections, because life is so busy, but I will watch it again and again. This movie helps to understand what is really in the food when you read the labels, why it's there and that we have to resist what we know isn't right, so put down the bad stuff (or donít order it) and re-train your brain and body that you donít want the poisons inside of you anymore! We need nutrients and good fuel for these machines we call our bodies.
If you watch it - please let me know what you think. I like to discuss ideas and opinions with other people.
Remember to love yourself. Affirm your love for yourself and believe in it and visualize the REAL YOU, the healthy you in order to make the change happen!!!
I love yíall!!!!
Hereís the link to the site. Watch it on Netflix or try and rent it somewhere or buy it!
More great sites for positive thinking:
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
I wanted to update y'all. I looked into my church for counseling and have sent them a message. I'm waiting to hear back. I attend a very big church (as big as Lakewood back when Lakewood first started in the 90's), so if I have to - I will look outside of the church (although I don't want to) and try to find a Christian counselor/therapist. I have no extra money and no insurance so even though this scares me financially, I will not give up on the help I know I need or make excuses.
Thank you for the prayers, comments and thoughts. It means a lot to me.
This is the info I found on my church website.
I do feel a little better today. It's a day by day struggle to keep a clear head and mind and to stay positive. But, I know I have Him with me. He won't give up on me. I just have to now let Him down either - along with everyone else. :(
Monday, February 11, 2013
I think I'm feeling too lost, sad and depressed. I came back to spark to help me with this since I think I'm feeling these feelings, because I'm still not doing what I should and lose the weight. I guess I'm feeling sorry for myself and like a loser. Some days I don't care and I get on the scale and smile because I haven't gained, but I need to be TRYING to lose - not just maintain. I don't know. I think I need therapy to deal with other crap in my head. My weight and food issues are a result of other emotions inside of me that have built up over many years. I decided once my son is 18 (year and a half) and in college and I know he's safe and taken care of there, I'm going to disappear alone. Not die, just disappear. I will keep in contact with my son, my sister and my bff so they know I'm ok. I don't know if it's age b/c I'm close to 40 or what, but I really don't feel like myself for months now. I struggle with what's 'normal' and wonder if I'm am I depressed. Anyways, I had to get that out. I'm tired of the pain inside and writing is my way to release it. It used to be exercise and feeling good about myself by exercising and eating healthy, but I just don't have the will anymore.
Get An Email Alert Each Time MAZZY0774 Posts