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MAZZY0774's Recent Blog Entries

Whatever

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

That's how I feel these days. Lost and this "whatever" state of mind. It's just food. I starve or over eat the evil foods. So sick of the constant war and battle with myself. Sick of the heartbreak in life that makes me turn to emotional eating. Girl breaks my heart (yes, a girl), friends break my heart, job, Mom and the list goes on. I'm annoyed that I'm annoyed by these people who hurt me. Ready to give up. I won't. But, I'm ready. Just had to write this publicly for accountability. The end. Tomorrow is a new day. Not different or better...just new.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PDSLIM 7/9/2013 10:33AM

    Find something positive to think about. What makes you laugh. Do it.

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KITT52 7/9/2013 8:09AM

    we all have these moments....

remember you are in control of your feelings....

HUGS

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 7/9/2013 7:42AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FERRETLOVER1 7/9/2013 7:02AM

    emoticon Try to hang in there - things will get better. emoticon

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Team Taylor - Donate - St. Baldrick's Team

Wednesday, March 06, 2013



www.stbaldricks.org/teams/mypage/809
82/2013


Please, Please, Please donate ANY amount that you can, so Team Taylor can reach our goal! Thank you!

Taylor is an angel in heaven now, but my friend Lesley (Taylor's Aunt) will never give up the fight to end childhood cancer. We do this event every year and many team members shave their heads in order to raise money and awareness to childhood cancers.

emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNOWYOGA 3/6/2013 5:35PM

    This sounds really good. Thanks

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MAZZY0774 3/6/2013 3:43PM

    That sounds like fun! I'd help and be there if you aren't too far away. emoticon

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KJELLYBEAN15 3/6/2013 2:49PM

    St Balderick's foundation is amazing! I will see what I can do. I was introduced through the family of another fallen angel. I was thinking of organizing a 5k and fun run through them.

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Watch 'Hungry for Change'. It'll CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

Wednesday, March 06, 2013



I watched a documentary last week called Hungry for Change, my son was baptized yesterday and many other things have led me to this feeling inside of healing, growth and peace that I've never felt before.

When I found this movie on Netflix on my phone late one night while lying in bed not being able to sleep I think it was answered prayer. A friend of mine is working alone in Louisiana and asked me if there were any good movies to watch on Netflix. I logged in and accidentally found Hungry for Change in the newly available section. I have watched many food documentaries over the last few years, so I thought Iíd try it. Let me tell you - THIS movie changed me!!!! It helped me trigger that place inside of me that reads labels again and knows the difference of right and wrong when I'm putting products into my grocery cart. Your body image and healthy self really does begin with SELF LOVE. I highly recommend watching this movie!!!! It's VERY informative and gets you in the gut and it wonít leave your soul or brain. It sounds extreme, but Iím dead serious! I watched it in sections, because life is so busy, but I will watch it again and again. This movie helps to understand what is really in the food when you read the labels, why it's there and that we have to resist what we know isn't right, so put down the bad stuff (or donít order it) and re-train your brain and body that you donít want the poisons inside of you anymore! We need nutrients and good fuel for these machines we call our bodies.

If you watch it - please let me know what you think. I like to discuss ideas and opinions with other people.

emoticon Remember to love yourself. Affirm your love for yourself and believe in it and visualize the REAL YOU, the healthy you in order to make the change happen!!! emoticon


I love yíall!!!! emoticon




Hereís the link to the site. Watch it on Netflix or try and rent it somewhere or buy it! emoticon

www.hungryforchange.tv/





emoticon More great sites for positive thinking:

notsalmon.com/

www.louisehay.com/affirmations/

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROBYNROSE26 3/6/2013 5:10PM

    This documentary also really changed my life too, I watched it about 8-10 weeks ago and since then have made drastic changes to my diet and am working out more and am down 19lbs!

There is a book as well, really all the same info, but I have read the book a couple of times too!

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The Future Seems a Little Brighter

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

I wanted to update y'all. I looked into my church for counseling and have sent them a message. I'm waiting to hear back. I attend a very big church (as big as Lakewood back when Lakewood first started in the 90's), so if I have to - I will look outside of the church (although I don't want to) and try to find a Christian counselor/therapist. I have no extra money and no insurance so even though this scares me financially, I will not give up on the help I know I need or make excuses.

Thank you for the prayers, comments and thoughts. It means a lot to me.

This is the info I found on my church website.

www.fotw.org/ministries/counseling-r
ecovery


I do feel a little better today. It's a day by day struggle to keep a clear head and mind and to stay positive. But, I know I have Him with me. He won't give up on me. I just have to now let Him down either - along with everyone else. :(

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LITTLE_QUEEN 2/12/2013 9:05PM

    emoticon and we are here for you


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PIXIE-LICIOUS 2/12/2013 5:52PM

    I am so glad you're going to get counseling. I am praying for you.
emoticon

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BLUEROSE73 2/12/2013 5:42PM

    You can do this. I believe you are reaching out to the right community. I pray someone is able to connect you with the right help, and that it doesn't become a financial burden.

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KITT52 2/12/2013 5:23PM

    I'm so happy you reached out for help....I know you will get what you need..

HUGS

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Sadness

Monday, February 11, 2013

I think I'm feeling too lost, sad and depressed. I came back to spark to help me with this since I think I'm feeling these feelings, because I'm still not doing what I should and lose the weight. I guess I'm feeling sorry for myself and like a loser. Some days I don't care and I get on the scale and smile because I haven't gained, but I need to be TRYING to lose - not just maintain. I don't know. I think I need therapy to deal with other crap in my head. My weight and food issues are a result of other emotions inside of me that have built up over many years. I decided once my son is 18 (year and a half) and in college and I know he's safe and taken care of there, I'm going to disappear alone. Not die, just disappear. I will keep in contact with my son, my sister and my bff so they know I'm ok. I don't know if it's age b/c I'm close to 40 or what, but I really don't feel like myself for months now. I struggle with what's 'normal' and wonder if I'm am I depressed. Anyways, I had to get that out. I'm tired of the pain inside and writing is my way to release it. It used to be exercise and feeling good about myself by exercising and eating healthy, but I just don't have the will anymore. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SNOWYOGA 2/12/2013 1:01PM

    I really know how you feel( from what your saying) But I think you sound like a really sweet person and that putting it out here that might help and from what you said about caring about your son, you are a caregiver and I hope that we can be here to also care for and help you! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TERMITEMOM 2/12/2013 7:16AM

    Just like you opened up here, you need to get in touch with a professional... In the mean time, please know that we are all here for you! emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHYHAPPYDEB 2/11/2013 11:34PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SASSYTHING52 2/11/2013 10:38PM

    i understand where u coming from im thinking same aww if /at least im not gaining but i need to lose you are in my prayers emoticon emoticon

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WVROSE1 2/11/2013 10:14PM

    emoticon emoticon


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SPARTAN40 2/11/2013 10:07PM

    You have support at SP from lots of folks. I hope you are able to find your way back to feeling your normal self.

emoticon

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LAINIESNEWLIFE 2/11/2013 9:22PM

    I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I hope that you will find a counselor to talk to. Writing down your feelings in a journal may help you too. Take care!! You're in my thoughts and prayers!!

Hugs,

Laini
e

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MAGA99 2/11/2013 9:18PM

    emoticon

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MISSKEEL 2/11/2013 9:13PM

    So sorry you're feeling down, remember we all have our ups and down, know that you have our support and I encourage you to talk to someone. Writing helps me also, I wish you the best emoticon

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KATHYJO56 2/11/2013 8:02PM

    Please talk to your doctor about these feelings. This could be a chemical or hormonal imbalance. emoticon

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YAFENELRA 2/11/2013 7:31PM

    Talk with someone who you trust to keep things confidential. And just hang in there.

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PIXIE-LICIOUS 2/11/2013 7:06PM

    I hope you will talk to a counselor about these feelings.I am keeping you in prayer. emoticon

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GRACEOMALLEY 2/11/2013 7:01PM

    If you are feeling that sad and lost, you really should go to your doctor. It could be hormones, menopause, peri-menopause, or a variety of other relatively normal chemical fluctuations that are affecting you drastically/severely. A simple blood test may tell a lot - and in the meantime, we're all here for you.

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MTNGRL 2/11/2013 6:49PM

    emoticon emoticon You know we are all thinking of you and hope you find a bright spot in your days. Please seek out some help, you are so worth it.

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MONIBELLY 2/11/2013 6:40PM

    I agree that you need to talk to someone... it could be hormones, it could be depression, but at 40, you are too young to walk away from it all. Find someone, you will be so grateful that you did. If you can't muster up the energy to do it for yourself, do it for your son, who loves you.

My own mother suffered from depression...it does spill over.

(((hugs)))

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BARBARAROSE54 2/11/2013 6:36PM

    emoticon hope you seek professional help.

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LITTLE_QUEEN 2/11/2013 6:27PM

    emoticon WE LOVE YA

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SIMONEKP 2/11/2013 2:52PM

    Sorry you're feeling so down. Please try to seek out a professional to help you deal with some of this stuff.

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KITT52 2/11/2013 2:34PM

    sounds like you needs some help to get on the right track...hormones can play a huge part of how we feel.....good that you know you are feeling different...call your doctor and see what they reccomend....

good luck....your spark friends are always here for you

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NANFACEMIRE1 2/11/2013 12:04PM

    You should talk with someone......a good friend, your primary care doctor. If you could do a little exercise, even if you just go out and take a small walk, you may feel better. Good luck and let us know how you are doing. It is almost summer and the weather could be depressing you right now. Try to do a little something special each day and write it down. You can look back and see how things were going for a week or two.

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FANTASTIC731 2/11/2013 10:52AM

    Talk to someone. A professional at least that can help you cope with whatever it is inside.

Sometimes, just talking to a confidant is good - but there are times a professional can guide you through those tough times.

I've learned one thing in my 49 years:

Unless you deal with the baggage at hand, no matter where you go, you'll always drag the suitcase with you.

Hang in there!

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KJELLYBEAN15 2/11/2013 10:51AM

    So sorry you are feeling this way. Have to tried talking to someone about it, like a counselor? Have you always felt this way? I cant speak for you but I know I feel so much better when I consistently workout. It doesn't have to be a lot, but something. If you ever want to talk I am willing to listen.

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