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Really Discouraged

Thursday, May 08, 2014

I took off two weeks from work to reduce my stress and jump start more weight loss. I have been following my calorie ranges and exercising. I hadn't gained or lost an ounce. Today I go to weigh myself and I've gained a pound! I'm really discouraged. They say if you put in the effort that you will see results, but I'm not seeing results in the right direction! After getting on the scale this morning I was very angry. Taking this time off apparently didn't help.

I'm mad and disappointed.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PERSEVERE121 5/9/2014 1:58PM

    emoticon I've been there when the scale just doesn't budge. Don't give up!! Hope you enjoyed the time off away from work though!

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MAY1787 5/9/2014 1:46AM

    I know many of you are just trying to be helpful by giving advice, but it really isn't necessary as I've done this many times before and I know what works. Insinuating that I want to lose 10lbs a week and I don't understand that's not realistic is really patronizing, especially as I've lost almost 50lbs before and I know what works and doesn't work for my body. Also, insinuating I'm not tracking right just really discourages me more than encourages me.
Also, some of the "advice" can really damaging. For example, telling someone who exercises a lot to drop their calories to 1200 is not healthy and will likely cause them to go into starvation mode, besides causing them to have problems whilst exercising.

So, thanks for your well-meaninged advice. However, maybe think more next time before posting advice and simply give encouragement, especially if you don't have any medically sound advice. All I really wanted was encouragement.

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HADAMIREYA 5/8/2014 6:28PM

    Stay on 1,300, 1400 tops and do the same exercise amount. over 1,800 might help you but too slow to notice. I would recomend you to Add fresh veggies to every single meal you have, change all white flour for whole wheat and avoid added sugars :) and you'll see the difference soon. Snack on fresh fruit and skip processed packed yogurths, make your own from plain yogurth and fresh fruit. YOU CAN DO IT GIRL! :) emoticon

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POSITIVEHOPE 5/8/2014 6:21PM

    You say that the amount of calories you are eating is between 1800 and 2200. That is more of a maintenance range for many of us even with exercise. Perhaps you are not burning as many calories as you think. Try dropping the calories intake for a week and see if that is enough to get the pounds to start dropping. See what SP says your range should be without exercise and use that as a lower limit.
Honest tracking is key for me. Even black coffee and lemon wedge in my tea add up to more than you think. I had to measure and weigh everything for a few weeks because my eyeball was really no help and my guesses were so wrong. I also have to drink all 8 glasses of water to lose consistently, too. Diet soda and tea are not good substitutes and don't equal to water in helping us lose the pounds. Are you tracking your sodium? You could be retaining water at 9lbs a gallon if you are using too much salt.
Don't get frustrated with this. You are learning a lot about what works best in your body. Yes, it is disappointing because we all want to lose 10 lbs a week every week. If there was a diet that could produce those results you could become a millionaire overnight. You will find the correct calorie range that will give you the results you want quickly. In the meantime, you are eating healthier and exercising so you are getting healthier, stronger and fitter.



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CCTASSIN 5/8/2014 2:19PM

    Don't give up! Use your tape measure instead of your scale. I lost several inches before the scale even showed a loss. Remember it took time to put the weight on and it will take time to take it off.

We are here for motivation and support, anytime!

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MAY1787 5/8/2014 2:16PM

    Because of the amount of exercise I do sparkpeople says to stay between 1800 and 2200.

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MLHAYES17 5/8/2014 2:09PM

    I dont know how many calories your taking in but if you stay close to 1200 calories and exercise as often as you can. I exercise 6 days a week you will lose weight. emoticon emoticon

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UMBILICAL 5/8/2014 2:06PM

  Ditto

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ALLIEALLIE2 5/8/2014 2:06PM

    emoticon don't give up!

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Need Encouraging Words

Tuesday, May 06, 2014

I haven't lost an ounce since the 21st of last month. But, I haven't gained anything either. I've lost about 8 lbs and 15.75in last month but this month I've seen no weight loss and 3.25in in loss. I don't understand why this is happening and I'm frustrated. I understand that muscle weighs more than fat in less space, but still, my brain won't let me just be happy with inch losses, especially when I compare it to the last time I lost weight in addition to knowing that hourglass figures should count on inch losses and not lb losses. It didn't take as much effort and by this time I had probably lost at least 12lbs the last time I lost weight. Comparison is a thief of joy, as they say.

In addition, I would really like to lose weight in addition to inches because this is the heaviest I've ever been (at least my starting weight was) and it likely caused my hiatus hernia which is causing vagal irritation at times and I find myself working harder to catch normal breath, I have palpitations and ectopic and skipped beats, in addition to a vagal induced cough from time to time. I'm hoping weight loss will help me fix those thins without resorting to surgery (which they don't do unless it's really terrible after weight loss anyway.)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POSITIVEHOPE 5/6/2014 10:01PM

    We all start out enthusiastic and optimistic on this journey. We'd all like to lose 10 lbs a week every week. When that doesn't happen we can get frustrated. A couple wrong turns later and many of us end up lost in "The Pit of Despair."
The danger of The Pit of Despair is that in hindsight you look back at your journey and see the path not taken adding a case of the "If Only's". If Only, I had stayed on track, I would be miles ahead and receiving the rewards I deserve. Please don't go there.
The Pit of Despair is part of this journey. They are the same side roads and dead ends we've encountered in the past. It's where we met Frank Failure and he broke our heart. This road has lots of turns, twists, and sharp curves and it's easy to be unexpectedly blown off course.
The remedy. Install a set of shock absorbers. It's not a personal failing. Say it out loud. It's not a personal failing. Feel the shock absorbers bounce. Okay. Keep going.
Next we encounter The Land of Plateaus. The Land of Plateaus is far worse than The Pit because it insidiously sucks in the unsuspecting. and undeserving victims. You were doing everything right, skipping along, eating in your calorie range, continuing your fitness efforts, and eating and tracking healthy foods. You feel you deserve to BE rewarded for your hard work.
But no, you are in a dreaded Plateau. It is not in your control how long you have to stay there. We don't like being out of control. We have a pattern of eating when we feel out of control. These are dark and difficult times. You keep diligently plugging away because SP say it's the thing to do. Part of you doesn't believe them. Part of you prays they are right. Then one day you finally notice a 0.5 pound loss. Despair gives way and Hope brightens your day. Now you are a survivor! Your enthusiasm returns! Yeah! Your journey continues and life continues.
What you are experiencing is a part of the journey. Miserable as it is, it's normal for this to happen. Yes, ya gotta just accept the tough parts of the road. If you keep going, there are much better days ahead. If you quit, you will make a U-Turn right back to your starting weight. Please don't quit.




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VALIENDRA 5/6/2014 3:10PM

    I know it's hard at first to recognize our success when the scale doesn't move. It's a struggle to learn to be proud of ourselves because we've always feel as a failure because of our weight. But you won already. Because you moved, because you took control of your life, because you're going FORWARD. Even if it's 1 step forward and 2 steps the other way.
I think we gotta learn to look ourselves as our friend, because what would you say to a friend who came to you with that king of disappointment? You'd cheer her up right? Point all her good moves, right?
Take the time to swallow your disappointment than keep going. You can. You already did =)

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HECKYAH 5/6/2014 2:15PM

    I understand how you feel. I always beat myself up over the scale -- even though the tape measurement says otherwise! You are doing an awesome job and I am extremely proud that you continue to push through! emoticon One day at a time, my friend. Keep up the good work -- emoticon !

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HECKYAH

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LASTXAROUND 5/6/2014 1:08PM

    You are doing great. Still losing inches which means your are on the right track. Sometimes we get to focused on what the scale has to say instead of what our bodies are telling us, and this takes away the joy that should be associated with our success. Be proud of your accomplishments!. Remember that the little successes lead to the ultimate goal.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Making the Most

Sunday, April 27, 2014

I spoke to one of my managers about my health issues and the way they possibly may be affecting my work. She was very sympathetic, and despite not getting off as much time as I would like (1 month) to really feel reset she did generously offer me two weeks off so I snatched the offer. Now I just have to make the best use of it so as to not make me feel guilty for taking that time.
First, I went to visit my parents who live about 2.5 hours away. I know my mom has plans to make some food I wouldn't normally eat while I was on a diet, so hopefully it will give me a chance to practice some of my much needed portion control and self control. That's always been the hardest part of eating "bad" food. But, I really don't want the mentality that any food is bad, I just want to have more respect for it. I also found a nice little gym here that I can drop in for $6/day. They have Zumba classes. I tried a Zumba Sentao class, which I had never done before. No one but myself showed up for the class and so by default I had a personal trainer. Oh mommy! It was hard and she pushed me well. At one point, my arms were so jelly-like I had a hard time lifting my waterbottle to my lips. But, I ended with that feeling that if I'm going to do strength training, this way seems the most interesting to me. It's a shame they don't have those classes where I am from! I would totally go to them. I felt well worked and the instructor was kind but also pushed me. I'll be back next time I'm back by my parents. No question.
Lastly, when I'm back in town, I hope to keep up with my healthy eating and exercise. I've been attempting twice daily Zumba on my days off (I don't workout on my 3 days of work, as they are 12 hour shifts and I sleep inbetween, so twice daily on my days off isn't pushing it.) and it's really worked well. I'm going to keep up with that these two weeks off and on some days try to get out and hike. Hiking last summer was hard (or maybe just my excuses) because of the increased bear presence and subsequent encounters with humans. That and I still maintained a lingering fear of murderers as the previous year we caught a serial killer. Not exactly the confidence I wanted to get out and do. I did eventually go hiking toward the end of the year but then it started snowing and I never hike without a partner after it's snowed and there wasn't anyone to hike with so I'm hoping to rebuild my confidence this spring/summer and just get out hiking more, even alone as I used to!

  


Stressors

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Quit reading now if you don't want to hear a bit of moaning.

I have a lot of stressors in my life, and the majority of the time I feel like I'm pretty good at easing them. The past two years has been harder. Despite doing my normal de-stressing techniques I continue to have a lot of stressful events in my life. I don't really feel them mentally, but I feel them physically.

I have had continuous medical problems since I lost approximately 55 pounds 2 years ago. Its pretty much been non-stop with one thing or another. Mono, oral surgery, frequent flu's and colds, seasonal affective disorder, infections, scoliosis and hand paralysis, migraines, and worse...a diaphragmatic hernia that has been causing pain, vagal responses to my heart and lungs, and just general ill-feeling. I feel like a lot of it is related to stress. Because of these problems, I have more financial strains related to the payment of doctor bills. I have spent over $8000 just in the last 2 years on medical bills (every year I add them up hoping to get a tax refund, but no such luck. This year I was off by just a few hundred dollars).

I think my stress was originally being caused by my illnesses, again physically not mentally. I gained all the weight I lost and more. For the last 6 months its been exascerbated by my work. First, we had a lot of "bad" deaths (I'm a nurse). Then, I had a few issues with coworkers. Now I am having issues with parents.

I've dived head first into losing weight hoping that these medical issues will resolve themselves and I won't have to pay any medical bills for awhile! But, I also need to address my stress more thoroughly. I've also started praying more about not letting things at work upset me as much. I think I am partially there. Don't get me wrong, I do love my job but my job also has a lot of oppurunities for heartbreak and frustrations. When a patient's family "fires" me for whatever reason I only feel a twinge of guilt and annoyance now. I even got a high-five from a coworker for being fired. He said, "You know, I used to get really upset when a parent fired me but now it doesn't bother me because I know the issue is about them, not about me. Now its one less frustrating parent you have to deal with." And you know what? Its so true! Every time I am fired it is by a parent who is stressed out and takes it out on me I need to brush it off and not make it about me.

I'm just a very sensitive person and every emotion feels greater for me than it seems for other people. When people don't like me, I take it very much to heart. When people frustrate me, I think on it for weeks. Perhaps I have internalized these feelings and caused my body to rebel?

So, moral of this story is that I am going to start using exercise as a form of stress relief. As something to focus on other than my current medical or work problems. I am also going to pray more about resolving my issues at work. I'm just feeling really encumbered by them. I feel like I need a fresh start. I've also been considering taking a long paid staycation to renew myself. I'm not sure thats a good option though (it feels like running away instead of the refresher I need).

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WANRAS 4/22/2014 11:20AM

    Just that fact that you were able to write it all down is healthy and a step in the right direction. Trying to handle everything yourself is detrimental to your health. We all have broad shoulders .... feel free to use them !
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1NICUBABE 4/21/2014 4:48PM

    I hope you start feeling better soon. Health issues stink because you feel like you are not in control. I can certainly empathize with you about the work issues, but your coworker is right, it is about them not you.

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ALASKALOLO 4/18/2014 1:10AM

    emoticon

Thinking about you!
Praying with you for relief from stress, too.

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Don't forget!

OXO!
Lolo

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TERRI518 4/17/2014 8:37AM

    I, too, have found exercise to help with stress. After doing my exercises, I actually feel invigorated and good about myself. At work when things get a stressing, I take a walk during my lunch break and listen to some upbeat music. Not only does the walk help with relieving stress, I am getting exercise and fresh air. (I even keep a small radio at my desk and listen to music throughout the day). Another thing I do to help with stress is to find a "happy" place. My "happy" place is sitting in a beach chair on a sandy beach by the ocean and listening to the waves rolling in and out and feeling the warmth of the sun. Don't ever give or get discouraged, it takes time and perseverance. I know you can do it! emoticon emoticon

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RAYLINSTEPHENS 4/17/2014 7:47AM

    this is your blog - write what helps you on your journey.

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

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RASPBERRY56 4/17/2014 5:52AM

    Sorry you're struggling.......

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Many people use exercise as a form of stress relief - this may be a good way to think of it! I wish you the best!

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SHOOTINGSTAR12 4/17/2014 5:26AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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