MAVERICK59   66,668
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Not sure anymore.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Today I just want to quit. I feel like closing out my Spark account and just walking away. Accepting I am always going to weigh 300 pounds or more and stop trying to change it. Eat something salty and not care how much my legs and feet swell. I am tired. I am angry.
But as I toast my sodium free bread to make toast I try to focus on just this meal right now. If I think about the entire day ahead of me I will quit. I have to take this 10 minutes at a time right now. Thatís the best I can do.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DYNAMICDEB53 10/15/2014 8:56PM

    Oh dear girl, dont give up, even if you have to take just one little step forward. YOU are so worth the effort. I know you must be feeling frustrated and we have all been there, but its will get better. You are not alone. I have been there so many times, but I just like you take it one meal or one exercise at a time. Take a deep breath and then work for the next little thing.
I know you want to be healthier and this salt free is just a pain right now. That too will get some better.
Please PLEASE dont give up, dont leave SP, your being here means something and is helping someone to fight just like you. I know your being here has inspired me. I like you and dont want to lose a friend. I am walking the same path and it helps to have a friend, many friends who are all dealing with challenges.

I am sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts.
Talk to me anytime I am here for you.

HUGS and smiles
Deb emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RHOOK20047 10/15/2014 7:15AM

    Welcome to SparkPeople. We are all here for the same reason, no matter what our personal story is. We are here to help each other to get to that healthy point we want to be in our lives. It is not going to be easy, but it is attainable. I have found that changing things up is the way to start weight loss. Make small goals and they will lead to big successes. I joined SP in 2009 and went as high as 387 lbs. I am down to 275 so it is possible to lose. You just have to really want it and have that want become stronger than your other desires. I joked before of losing 1000 lbs. The same ten pounds 100 times. But I am losing now, and you can do it too. Forget past failures and concentrate on the here and now and what you can do now. We are here to help! Welcome and get active on this site. emoticon

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JIBBIE49 10/15/2014 2:03AM

    I've been a Sparker for seven years now and I've never quit, because I have known that if I did I'd be about 314# by now rather than just the 214# that I was when I joined.
I see you are trying to lose the weight on a plant based diet. I know that I couldn't do that as I have Insulin Resistance so I have do have a low carb diet. I read Richard Bernstein M.D "The Diabetes Solution" and learned so much about Insulin Resistance. He has get lectures on YouTube. He's had Type 1 diabetes since he was 12 and he is a healthy 78 now although he was told he wouldn't live past 42 because of complications. I know that I had PCOS even when I was slim as a young woman, which is why I had to take fertility drugs in order to get pregnant with my firs son at 25. I wish I could have read his book back then. My hormones were really off.
Have you thought about having gastric bypass surgery? I know it has helped some people although I know about 1/2 regain the weight later.

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GEMINICHIK 10/14/2014 6:22PM

"The greatest thing you have is the 24 hours in front of you. The past is gone; the future is distant. Today you CAN succeed. Set a goal you can achieve in the next 24 hours."
One day a a time......

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LIFENPROGRESS 10/14/2014 3:05PM

    DON'T QUIT! emoticon Together! No, it isn't always easy but it WILL be done!

"The greatest miracle on Earth is the human body. It is stronger and wiser than you may realize, and improving its ability to self heal is within your control."
~ Dr Fabrizio Mancini ~

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ERIN_POSCH 10/14/2014 12:27PM

    here is my prayer:
* Help me to be a good steward of my GOD-given body.
* Provide me the inner strength and discipline I lack.
* Nudge me off my butt (out of bed) and into an exercise routine.
In Jesus' name,

We can do this, but I find it way easier with HIS help!

Don't give up and don't surrender. Believe it and you will achieve it -- it may take some time, but you will get better as you get there.

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ADESTEFANO1 10/14/2014 10:09AM

    I've been feeling the same way lately. I've been working at this for almost 4 years now and I've had my successes and multiple falls. I lost 27 pounds and recently gained back 12 of it, so I'm back to focusing on the basics. I'm going to follow your lead and focus on getting through the next 10 minutes. My advice would be to focus on just one healthy habit this week you want to change- trying to make too much change at once has always burned me out and led to failure. This week I'm just focusing on tracking my food for the entire day- I've been starting of strong and quitting in the evening. I can build from there. emoticon

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