Saturday, December 20, 2014
We buried my husband yesterday. Last night I just wanted to be dead too, so this pain will stop. My sweet sister has been here with me this week. She has to go back to Wisconsin tomorrow. I'm afraid to be alone. I donít know how to be alone.
I donít know how to survive these crushing pains of loneliness, regrets, shame and anger. I want a chance to do it over, to be a kinder wife, a more appreciative wife, a more joyful wife. I want a chance to tell him the wonderful things about our marriage instead of everything I felt was wrong with it. I want my Jack back. I canít do this without him.