BL 5th Week Challenge a.k.a Putting Me First!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

This is a fun challenge!
Thinking about giving to myself or doing for myself first does not come naturally. I think all of you can understand that.
But I persevered and came up with a list of things I would like to see happen in the next 5 weeks, before the end of this BL challenge.

1) I would like to get my car cleaned inside and out. It has been more than a year and it really needs it.

2) I would like to buy myself new workout shoes.

3) I would like to have a watch.

4) I would like to get a stability ball for core exercising.

UPDATE 1/14/12 : I purchased a ball, but for some reason I am feeling intimidated by it and it is still in the box. hmm.

5) I would like to read a book, haven't read one in 6 months.

6) I would like to try 2 new vegan recipes

7) I would like to add 5 new songs to my IPOD workout music collection.

Making this list for the challenge feels like I might actually accomplish some or all of this! If I do, I am going to be a very pleased gal in 5 short weeks!

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Re-evaluating is O.K.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Recently I have been feeling like I do not want to do my cardio and ST. I have been feeling tired, grumpy and I feel myself losing interest.
Normally this is where I would throw in the towel and quit. But I don't want to give up on myself again, which is my usual pattern.
Instead and uncharacteristically, I took a look at what I think might be going on with me.

I think I have been over doing it. I have accumulated an awful lot of information from 'experts' about length of workouts needed to lose weight, intensity of workouts, incline level of treadmill, what and when to eat,different types of ST needed to build muscle, number of reps required in ST, etc. because I am trying to do this 'right'.
However, I am finding myself in pain every day. My workout time is no longer enjoyable because I am pushing myself to other people's standards. Plus it has become somewhat boring. I don't like exercising like this. I need to go back to what was working for me in the past.
I am going to cut back to between 30 minutes and 1 hour total for cardio and ST for a while, depending on how I feel, and see if I still continue to lose weight.
I have to figure out how to make this a positive change in my lifestyle if I am going to be able to maintain it.
I know that I want these changes to continue.
This journey has been hard, but I am not giving up.
I am not a quitter, and I like who I see myself becoming. I just need to figure out how to make this work for me.

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Pride and Hope.

Friday, December 30, 2011

12/28/11 was my first anniversary with Spark.
I have met the greatest group of supportive friends here.
I want to thank all of you that stood by me and helped me back up on my feet each time I stumbled.

I would like to be able to say I was diligent and consistent with food and exercise this past year, but I wasn't. Not by a long shot.
My first year's goal was to lose 104 pounds, half of my over all goal to reaching a healthy BMI.
For a brief moment when I weighed myself that anniversary day, I felt disappointed with myself because I had fallen 9 pounds short, having lost only 95 pounds.


But then I realized that I am really very proud of myself.
According to the Spark progress tracker, I have walked over 500 miles this year.
My BMI has gone from 60.6 TO 44.3.
My daughter remarked that she has never seen my shoulder blades before and that they looked strange!
I have learned to like the taste of food without using a salt shaker.
I completely stopped buying soda several months ago.
I can use a car seat belt without needing an extension piece.
I have dropped from a size 5X to a 2X and can buy clothes right out of a local store instead of having to order online and hope it fits.
I am completely off all medications.
My cholesterol is way below the standard norm (160), as is my blood pressure.
I was easily able to climb on a chair the other day to get something down off a top shelf in my cupboard instead of asking one of the children to get it down.
I am no longer considering bypass surgery.

My husband has seen me make this attempt several times in past years, so I don't think he truly believed I had it in me to keep going.
He never said a negative word when I would backslide.
He is also proud of me. He told me he thinks I am really going to pull this off.
If I do, there is a trip to Las Vegas to see Cirque du Soleil that has been promised to me.


Each day is still a struggle and I have to do a lot of self talk to make good food choices and get my butt up on the treadmill or stationary bike.
I have an agreement with myself to do the very best I can in any given moment, and not beat myself down if I fall short of what I expect of myself.

I myself am starting to believe I might actually finish this journey this time.
So my goal for 12/28/12 is to have reached a healthy BMI with a weight loss of 208 pounds.
We will see.
I feel very hopeful.
God, please keep sending me those Angels for support.
They have been so helpful.

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