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OK...I know one of my best knacks (due to Lupus, Sjogrens and Hashimotos- 3 different autoimmune diseases), is Inflammation, at every new phase or experience in my life, I have to relearn how this will affect me now. 
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BOBBYD31
6/16/2012 9:24PM
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biking really works core muscles as does swimming if you can do those. my wife has autoimmune issues also (Sjogrens, POTS) so i understand what you are going thru.
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CASSIOEPIA
6/16/2012 4:42PM
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I'm so sorry for the frustration, and I know in your heart you want to soar. I often think of how great it will be in the next world, when we won't have these eartly limitations and pains to deal with. But until then.... Hey, a sneaky way to build muscle while still walking, might be to do more hill work. This is still walking, but at a more intense level. Is that possible, or does it also produce more inflamation? You really are doing fantastic. January isn't that very long ago. Hugs, Judi Report Inappropriate Comment |
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WOODHEAT
6/15/2012 7:34AM
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You have many strenghs and yes a big one is not giving up and I know you won't. Giving up just isn't something you can do. You know that I understand totally your frustration of not being able to do the things you want to do because, at the moment, your body just won't do them. But it will. That time period of not taking any NSAIDS will pass and you'll be able to really start that program of restoring your body like you want to. After my surgery, I wasn't sure that I would ever again be painfree and able to do the things that I've so loved doing - heavy physical work, water-skiing, getting down on the floor and playing with my grandkids. Then suddenly, I could. Now today is my 63rd birthday and I just got back the results from a complete physical. I am in the best shape that I've been in in many years. Blood pressure is good, blood sugar is excellent, cholesterol is outstanding, my weight is down considerably and I'm stronger than I've been in at least 7 years! All of this is coming your way as well. Until then, walk, talk, and do the things you can do to make yourself feel good. It'll all happen. Life is good! Hugs! Wood Report Inappropriate Comment |
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KAYOTIC
6/14/2012 11:30PM
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 I think Choc has a quote on her signature line "just keep swimming" (from Finding Nemo?)  Comment edited on: 6/14/2012 11:31:29 PM Report Inappropriate Comment |
This weekend has been hard.
I know , life will always have its moments when I ask why , or think yet again...'its not fair'. The thoughts raise the regular questions, of course.
Friday I received the news of the death of one of 'my 4H youth. His death has really impacted me, not more than expected, but comes a little too close to home for me.
This young man turned 30 this week (yes...I know, not a kid...but I met him when he was) Greg was a brilliant yet very different person. He reminded me of my older son, so of course I gravitated to him.
He , this week was in his last year working toward his PhD at UC Berkeley . Oher 4H youth, noticed he had gone 'off grid', and for him this was VERY unusual. So a few of our CA State folks , all about his age, drove to his paratment from other cities, called teh police and their worst fears realized.
Greg worked for our Statewide program for many years, supporting the tech development of 4H, here and then teh entire nation followed. He is the 'father ' of our state 4H web site and most other state used our model.
But, Greg was different. And a loner...brilliant, but alone. Our society sort of has expectations that everyone will grow up, marry, have kids, fit into a model of society where he could see a way he'd ever fit. Sad.
Guess, after having had my own life experiences with a loved one loose hope, this has really 'hit' me.
I spent some time yesterday AM chatting with the Mom of a young man who drove to Greg's home. Steven has been very affected by this and will continue. So many questions, guilt, ...you know...all the expected 'stuff'.
But, having gone through what I have with my own son...I think...we still have much to learn as a society.
Many already say..."why" , "He shouldn't have", "He had no right", you know what folks say.
But my son taught me to view this differently. I am not saying I know what is right or wrong...I am just saying I feel different;y than I used to.
First off, we don't know how Greg died yet...its just very likely suicide.
And, if Greg had had cancer, and had made the decision to refuse chemo or radiation, most people today would 'understand' if he decided the pain was just too much. With mental illness and suicide, there seems to be much more judgement.
Greg had no known 'mental illness', but he was very 'different' and obviously was experiencing pain. He made a decision.
This past week in the news was yet another story about a gay young man who took his life and there will be judgement in his situation.
When I walked my journey with my son, after he attempted suicide, but survived, I came to places never expected.
Almost impossible, but one day I was able to tell my son, "If ever I learn you have again attempted suicide, and are even successful, please know, I will not judge. It is impossible for me to know your pain. I want you to live a long and fulfilling life. But it is your life, not mine. I love you and always will."
This is the hardest thing I have ever done. But it also seems to have given him more life. Seriously. To know, I love him enough, to let go. To love him enough to trust him with his own life. To love him so much I won't judge. Hard.
It seems there are so many people, who feel there is no natural place for them to reside in society.
My son, will never be like me or anything close. But his differences don't invalidate him or reduce his value. Exactly the opposite. He too is one of the most brilliant people who have graced this earth. His mind works differently. I think how his mind is different, contributes to his brilliance.
I am sad. I know, I will move on...but today I have spent time in my garden alone, thinking about all these people who feel different, like they don't belong and loose hope, or get tired trying to be more like 'us'.
Thank you for reading this blog. I am sorry it was so serious.
Please, if you know someone who is 'different', take the extra moment to let them know they matter.
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KELPIE57
9/26/2011 2:52AM
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I can't add much to the what the others have said. Pain is pain, whether it be physical or mental, it is real. That society doesn't recognise that doesn't change it. Also, we do not in general give ourselves enough time to grieve. Take the time that you need. You are not alone. I wish I could give you some more comfort, you know that I feel for you.
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SNOWSNAKE
9/25/2011 11:58PM
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Dearest Maui, My heart is hurting for you my friend...you know,I read my goodie message from you and went right to your page , figuring my gosh...something is up! I am so sorry for your having lost this young man from your life. This is so close to home for you, I know you have spent some time going places you havent visited in your own mind for a while.When I think of "LOVE" I think of you too, for you have so much that you give to so many...and your level of understanding is incredible. The garden is a place where I take my feelings as well, there I can cry, figure things out, remember and reminisce--all in the safety of our blessed home. Having a son who is also wired differently, you already know that I feel what you feel in the broad sence that so many people do not understand those who are "different"- not carbon copies of the norm. And as blessed as they are often times with incredible intelligence or gifted in some unusual way, society just gives them a weird glance. Cross the street, don't look or laugh, dont worry, this wont happen to someone you love....but then it might! My heart is out there with you, I want to comfort you at this time my friend, the gorgeous sunset surely was in Greg's honor tonite. Love you too, ***SNOW*** 
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KAYOTIC
9/25/2011 11:23PM
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Oh, my heart goes out to you, you have so much compassion, and empathy, and I'm sure all those you have touched can feel that too.....this young man was lucky to have had you in his life, and while it was much too short, it sounds like he touched many others too, despite his difficulties, he did leave his mark. While that really can't touch the pain you feel, I'm sure your being there as a 4H leader had an affect that has touched so many.... including Greg.
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CASSIOEPIA
9/25/2011 11:09PM
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So sorry that you had this to deal with this weekend Maui. It is never an easy thing to hear, or in the days following. You matter to me, because you have made me feel like I matter to you. I'm sure that Greg knew he was lucky to have had you in his life, and was grateful for all that you did for him. Report Inappropriate Comment |
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WOODHEAT
9/25/2011 7:56PM
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Why would you ever apologize for being serious? Sometimes the things we encounter in life is indeed very serious. You know this - I know this. I'm not sure there's anything more devastating than loneliness! This seems like something that should be so obvious to everyone, yet how often do we see people that are different get mistreated or ridiculed by so very many people. The amount cruelty always amazes me. Everyone needs to feel good about themselves, but the "do onto other" thing seems not to apply anymore. I don't understand. Maui, he was at least lucky to have had you in his life. BTW - we here on the deck are lucky also to have you in our lives as well. Hold onto that compassion. Your buddy, Wood Report Inappropriate Comment |
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CHOCLAHOLIC
9/25/2011 7:45PM
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Oh Maui.... I'm so sorry! I know how you feel (my nephew committed suicide when he was just a teenager... so I can relate to the shock and the grief you are going through) Hugs to you my friend, and when you're ready, know that all your friends and family (both real and "virtual") are here for you! Luv & hugs..... Choc Report Inappropriate Comment |
