Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Good morning, friends. I'm sorry to say that I have gone and done what I thought I would never go and do! I backtracked, fell off the weight loss wagon, blew it, let myself down, as well as all of you. I gained almost all of the weight back that I lost with Spark people. It is hard to imagine I lost 50 pounds one year only to gain it all back the next! I have my excuses and a few good reasons, but the main one is that I didn't make it a priority. I went through some difficult things this year, and instead of reaching out, I withdrew and relied on my old friend, Food, to comfort me and help me cope. Actually, I am still using food to cope, but instead of continuing to withdraw, as of today, I have decided to reach out...to you, my Spark friends.
I'm not going to make any grandiose claims about what changes I plan to make from here on out, but I will tell you this. I will do my best not to shut you out again. I will do what I am capable of at the moment, and try not to beat myself up over the rest. I will work on my all or nothing mentality. Don't know if I can conquer it, but I will try to be aware. There are times when I need to really come down hard myself, but this is not one of those times. I think this is a time that I need to be a little more gentle.
In the past year, I have lost one friend, 2 close family friends and 3 relatives. I have been to more funerals than I even want to think about. I lost my oldest daughter to another state (I know that's part of growing up, but it sure is hard on Mama!) and Itty Bitty has had a really rough start to her school year. My emotions are settling down a little now, but for the most part of this past year, I have been in survival mode, just trying to make it day to day. Depression got the best of me more than once, but I was able to fight my way back out of it each time. It is just extremely draining on me.
Although I have been very silent on Spark People, I have still been reading most of your blogs and keeping up with your stories. I am so proud of you for not giving up like I did! Most of you have continued your journey through the difficult times. You have persevered! Way to go!
To close, I would like to catch you up on what has been going on with my family.
As I already told you, I have had several major life events this year, but I have also had some good. I started playing the piano for our church. It has been very challenging, but also good, because I have had something that I have had to work for each week. I do not sight read very well, so I really have to put in a lot of practice time. On top of that, the school that I work for asked me to accompany the choir kids for their UIL Solo & Ensemble contest. Now THAT is a lot of work, but I am really enjoying getting to spend the time with those kids in a more positive way (usually the only time I see kids is when they are in trouble, since I work in the principal's office!). I am still teaching my 3rd & 4th grade Sunday School at church and that is going much more smoothly this year, now that I have some extra help.
As I mentioned earlier, I lost my oldest daughter to another state! Here is a picture of us the day she left - lol!
DD1 just fell in love with her little mountain town and is now working at the Visitor Center as well as one of the lodges. She also teaches a line dancing class once a week at the Community House. I can't say I blame her, though. Take a look at what she gets to see every day!
And here is the view out her office window...
She's also already received an award at her job for being friendly and helpful to customers (this was awarded by her customers!).
Here are few other pictures:
DS is my steady one, just doing his own thing. He still lives at home, although I don't really see him much. He is going to school at UH Downtown and majoring in Computer Science. His big thing this year was getting a sailboat for his birthday! (Ugh, I can't find the picture, so I'll post it later when I find it!)
Like I said earlier, Itty Bitty has had a rough school year so far. She literally lost her best friend at the beginning of the year. The little girl came up to her in PE and told her that she wasn't her best friend anymore. On top of that, she is in a new class with a lot of kids that she doesn't know and has had a hard time making friends. She is not exactly "worldly" so she doesn't understand a lot of what they are talking about. A lot of it just goes over her head. I am really praying that she will find a new best friend. It helps so much even if you just have one other person that you know "gets" you. She also had to have 7 baby teeth pulled because they would not come out on their own and they are wanting to get her in braces as soon as possible. That was quite an ordeal and we had to go back twice to get it done because she was so traumatized the first time that they couldn't do it. That is all behind us now, though, and she just got a spacer put in, so the next step will be braces. They are wanting to get her in them as soon as possible because she has such a severe overbite (oh, that reminds me kids at school were telling her she had bucked teeth, so on top of everything else, she began to think she was ugly!) Poor baby has had a rough year! Here are her first day pictures, before all the storms hit. Little did she know what was coming her way.
Well, that is about it for now. I hope you will forgive me for dropping out of Spark People for a while. I want you to know that you are still all very important to me and I look forward to rebuilding our relationships and continuing our journeys together
Love to you all!
Tuesday, July 01, 2014
So here we are in the mountains again! We took 2 days getting up here. I caravanned up with my brother and his family, so it was a lot easier trip for me. We stopped in Canyon on the way and visited the Palo Duro Canyon and saw the play "Texas!" We had a great time, but it was a long drive...10 hours in the car and then the play after that! It took about 6 more hours the next day to get here, but it feels so good to be back in the cool mountain air!
I took it easy our first day up here, but decided to try one of my favorite hikes today. The trail goes along the Red River, so you can hear the river waters and it was so peaceful and refreshing. I did much better than I thought I would, considering my weight gain from last year and being much more out of shape! Evidently, I haven't lost as much "fitness" as I thought! I am planning to take this hike everyday, so I will post pictures later.
I finished my first week on our 5% Challenge and had a 2.5 pound loss! I was not as active posting on the challenge boards as I would have liked, but we had a busy week with all the traveling. Oh, I forgot to mention, my husband and I took an Anniversary trip to the Hill Country last week and I only had 1 day before we had to leave for our trip up to the mountains! We had a wonderful time celebrating our 24th Anniversary.
I am enjoying visiting with my DD1, who moved up here permanently a few months ago! She is living in her own apartment and doing things I never dreamed she would do! She is an amazing young lady!
Tomorrow's agenda includes a morning hike, tennis in the afternoon, and line dancing tomorrow night! I'm definitely getting those fitness minutes in!
Time for bed, friends, so I'll check in with you later, hopefully with pictures! Have a great week, friends! Lots of Hugs!
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
I am now 3 days into our Summer challenge, and so far so good. I am trying not to dwell on the fact that I am having to lose the same weight again that I lost last year! I have to just move forward from here.
Today was mine and DH's 24th wedding anniversary and we had a nice relaxing day. We are going tomorrow for a little trip to the Texas Hill country just to get away and spend some quiet time together. Nothing special planned, just time to relax and be. I am really looking forward to it!
DD1, who is now 21, moved about a month ago to NM. She is an Activities Director at a Community House in one of the little tourist towns in the northern mountains. She loves it, and from what I can tell, is just blossoming! The director and board there are very pleased with her and her leadership abilities. She is leading line dancing a couple of times a week for groups of 80-100 people. She also leads hikes, children's activities and runs the sound system for the church services and concerts that they have the Community House. The Cowboy Fellowship church that she recently started attending just asked her to be the drummer for their service! She is one busy, but happy girl and I am happy for her! I am trying not to hyper focus on the fact that she is now living a two day drive away from me!!!!
In her element...
DS, 20, has just registered for classes at University of Houston downtown, and has decided to major in computer science. He is still living at home and I am so grateful. He is very helpful and a lot of fun to be around. Here is a pic of the view from his school. Pretty cool, huh!
Here is another recent one of DS with his Dad on his 20th birthday. Dad got him an old sailboat!
Itty Bitty just turned 10! Can you believe it? Me either! She is doing great! Went to camp last week and had a blast! She finished the school year strong and is getting ready to go into 5th grade next year...hard to believe! Here is the most recent picture I have of her. This was at her GA recognition service. Those are all services badges that she has earned over the last couple of years!
I am doing good as well. Just finished for the summer at my school, where I work as a secretary and am so ready for some time off. I am still sewing and working on various projects. Here are a few of the latest. The first is the one that I made for a coworker for her husband for Father's Day. He was a coach and this is a tshirt quilt using all of his old coaching shirts. The next is the one I am working on now. It is a king size quilt for my sister in law. I just have to finish the binding on this one.
Well, that just about catches you up for now! Thank you all for asking about my family and being such faithful friends! I am finally in a good place again on my journey and I am so glad that you are there to share it with me!
Saturday, June 21, 2014
Today is Day 1 of our Summer 5% Challenge and I am so ready to get started! I need this push and accountability to get me back on track. I will not go into all the reasons that I have regained nearly half of the weight that I lost, but I will just say that I am ready to jump in where I am and get moving again!
I am excited to be on the Champions in the Kitchen team (even though I will really miss my Starfishies!), and ready to get to know some new SparkFriends and cheer them on! My goals for this challenge are to lose 11 pounds, drink my water, and start exercising again. I know what to do, I've done it before, so now I just have to do it!
I was thinking the other day, as I was trying in vain to fit into my jeans, that I never want to forget that feeling. The feeling of everything being too tight...you know, that "stuffed sausage" feeling. I never want to forget that feeling I have after stuffing myself so full that my stomach hurts. I don't want to forget that feeling of hopelessness that drives me to eat the way that I sometimes do, that makes me feel like I am not worth taking care of. I want to remember so that when it comes again I will recognize it and not give up on myself like I have for the last 6 months. I want to remember that the "feelings" will pass, but the calories and food that I stuff myself with will hang around for months. I want this to be the last time that I lose this weight!
I am ready, with the help of my Spark Friends, to get back on track! I will keep you posted on how it is going. Thank you to faithful Sparkfriends who have continued to encourage and check up on me during my absence. You are a blessing!
ps - I am still sewing and will soon catch all of my old friends up on my latest projects, as well as how everything is going with my family. There have been some changes, but everyone is happy and doing well!
Monday, March 31, 2014
Good morning, friends! I'm still here! I just took a break from the computer for the weekend. I finished my first week of "one day at a time" today and it went well for the most part. Some days were definitely better than others, but at least I am moving in the right direction again...down 3 pounds this week and I am so thankful! I did NOT want to see that 2 at the beginning of my weight again!
I have been exercising with a co-worker after school each day and that has worked out so well. We are not able to go very fast because she is just beginning, but it is making me feel so good to be able to help someone else get started the way my son helped me. She is such a precious lady and she has 2 sons who are in their 20s. One of them made her promise him to start taking better care of herself this year and lose some weight because he was so worried about her. She is doing great! She actually made it 20 minutes on Friday!
I am going to continue on with my "one day at at time" goals. For today, I will make healthy food choices and avoid junk, track everything, walk after school, do another 5 minute fitness test at home, and drink my water.
Here's to one more day!
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