Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I'm not sure if the tool is anger or disgust but it works!!
On Saturday I had a thoroughly unpleasant experience which really upset me.
It was a beautifuI warm sunny day with lots of holidaymakers strolling through our little town.
I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when a woman of around my own age of sixtyone, maybe even a little older and DEFINITELY old enough to know better, whom I'd never seen in my life before directed a nasty and derogatory 'fat' remark at me which was very obviously intended for me to overhear.
I was shocked.
I didn't retaliate and carried on walking.
When I got home I realised how upset and mad I really was, mainly mad with myself for not retaliating.
I know why I didn't.
Because she was with two other people.
Another woman who was nodding, smiling and agreeing with her and a man who did have the good grace to look sheepish and tell them to shut up.....
I was out numbered.
Anyway, I alternated, on and off, all day between quiet seething and bouts of crying which is definitely not like me.
Everytime I thought about it I got upset, and I couldn't NOT think about it.
Who was she to spoil my day?
Who was she to knock my confidence?
Who was she to make me angry and upset?
Who DID she think she was?
I'm not a fighter and I don't use bad language but I could have quite happily knocked her straight into next week and the bad language inside my head would have shocked even me if I'd used it!!!
Consequently I didn't sleep very well.
But next morning, on a beautiful hot and sunny Sunday I enjoyed a walking and birdwatching day up in the dales miles away from any people with my DH.
It seemed to put things into perspective.....so much so that I decided that I'd use Saturdays horrible experience to MY advantage.
I got weighed and I'd lost another 1lb.
As I was altering the ticker on my Spark page I realised that having already lost seventy seven pounds I WAS an achiever and I wasn't going to let some mean spirited woman I didn't even know throw me off course.
So, if ever my resolve weakens.....
I'm going to use the experience to spur me on towards my goal.
I'm going to use a negative comment to make a positive outcome.
I'm going to reach my goal.
I CAN DO IT.
So Mrs. Horrible Woman whoever you are I'm turning you into a weightloss tool.
Your warped view of people has NOT succeeded in me falling off the wagon, to the contrary I'm up on it and staying here.
I'm not upset or mad anymore, I'm POSITIVE.
Your unkind, nasty, vindictive and unnecessary comments have spurred me on to a new high.
I'm glad now that I didn't retaliate and come down to your level and I suppose I should, albeit grudgingly, say thankyou to you as I feel as if I can reach the goal I've set myself and in a warped sort of way you're the catalyst for that.
On Saturday afternoon, just after it happened, I posted on a Spark board entitled 'What's on your mind?' that I was seething over some 'fat' remark made to me by a stranger.
Not long after I received a wonderful comment and mail from a kind and caring Sparker proving the contrast between people. This person helped me get things into perspective and showed me that most people are kind and caring, it's only the odd one who can turn a pleasant life into turmoil.
Spark helps us achieve in so many ways and so do its wonderful Sparkers, I'm so glad I found it and all of you.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
...the last couple of weeks have been very good.
I'm back into my weightloss routine and thoroughly enjoying it again, so much so it makes me wonder why I went off it in the first place!
I'd forgotton how delicious fruits and veggies can taste, I'd got into eating rubbishy processed stuff and was bypassing good wholesome ingredients telling myself it was for convenience.
Convenience no...I was still cooking for my DH so it wasn't really true!
I'd lost my willpower!
I couldn't say 'no'.....I felt deprived if I did!!
I was still walking, exercising and drinking my water so it wasn't all bad and I didn't gain weight so that's a positive but I was definitely kidding myself.
Two weeks later I feel fitter, less sluggish, with more energy.
I'm sleeping better too, just the odd blip but that's usually through my painful knee.
I feel energised, like I've just renewed my batteries and could go on forever!
People say 'Don't look back' but I'm glad I have, it's made me realise I'm on the right path again and I want to stay on it!
Diet and exercise is the key...
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The last couple of days have been a highlight.
Last week a cousin who I haven't seen since I was fourteen, that's fortyseven years ago though we have corresponded every now and again, rang to say she'd be in the area. So we arranged to meet midway in a seaside town she hadn't visited in thirty years.
We met on Tuesday.
She rang and gave me details of when her bus got in and I arranged to meet her at the bus station.
I duly arrived and waited for her.
Five buses pulled in almost together and I was surrounded by people when I suddenly realised I had no idea what she looked like and she had no idea about me either!
Gradually the crowd dispersed and I was left sat on my seat at one side of the station whilst a lone lady was sat on another seat at the opposite side of the station.....it had to be her!
I walked across as she slowly got up and tentatively said 'Alma?' she nodded and it was like the forty seven years had never gone past.
We had a wonderful day by the seaside doing touristy things.
Riding the little minature land train, visiting the local stately home gardens, walked the spa, the promenade and the pier.....and with the fresh air giving us an appetite we also, rather naughtily, ate fish & chips and icecream!
The morning was sunny and warm but the afternoon turned dull with a chilly north wind so we sat in a little cafe with a hot drink while we looked at photographs we'd both brought and of course we talked and talked and talked.....
I'd been worried it would be a long day as I'd had to set off at 7.30am to be there in time and her bus wasn't leaving until 4.45pm which meant we wouldn't be back home until around 7.30 pm.
I was also worried it wasn't quite the season for the seaside and things would be closed but we managed well, it went so quickly and we walked a long way without realising.
Then yesterday a distant cousin I'd met for the first time only a few weeks ago through my love of genealogy arranged for us to go and find out about a brave relative who'd fought in WW1.
We didn't really know each other as I'd never met her until I spent a day with her and her dad when they'd come to visit me a few weeks previously but we got along really well and had a very enjoyable day.
We found our mutual relative's war discharge papers and his service record which even gave a description of his eye & hair colour, height, weight etc. but sadly no photograph.
We finished up with afternoon tea in a beautiful little tearoom near the picturesque little village where he'd been born, found the house he lived in and the school he was taught at, visited the churchyard and found his grave with it's headstone that gave us more details of his life.
Sadly there are no other descendants living there now.
I've really enjoyed those two days, both different but both family matters.
And I've forged new links for an old friendship and a new friendship.
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