MARJIJANE   44,645
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Thursday, September 23, 2010

I got up this am and decided to step on the scale...I weighed in on Tuesday...and I posted my gain... and I continued to work my plan... today, however...there was a glimpse of hope... the pound number was down... okay, not a lot, but, still... the right direction...!!!
It was hard, climbing back on the wagon and gaining... but I did not throw myself back on the tracks... I just decided, that my body SHOULD know what to do, and if it could not get that message, then I would go to see the doctor, 'cause something else must be wrong... it took my body more than a week... but I think it is now responding ... I will wait until next Tuesday to climb on (the scale) again, but so long as this train is moving in the right direction, I will let the conductor and the engineer steer while I continue to hang on for dear life!

Happy that SP remains a contant ... secure, calming, supportive... entity.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOLLYBROWN55 9/25/2010 4:30PM

    Marji, SP is saving my LIFE...LITERALLY!!! Without you & the rest of our loving family, & the amazing friends I have met here at SP, I would still be pushing that 160 #...for me, that's obese! (I am small boned & only 5" 1'!!!)

I love you!! emoticon

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PMCOPPI10 9/24/2010 5:17PM

    Ginger has a new that what happens when you get skinny?

Don't fret that happens to me everyday.
I am constantly loosing and gaining the same pound.

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TMULHOLLAND7 9/23/2010 10:54PM

    Let god be the conductor. I'll be the caboose,pushing you from behind. "I think I can, I think I can" lots of love to you


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LALMEIDA 9/23/2010 9:34PM


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MS.ELENI 9/23/2010 9:01PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GINGER1OF16 9/23/2010 2:28PM

    WooHoo sister. I continue to marvel at your sticktoitiveness!!!
Imagine how it would be if you weren't here at SP!
Ginger emoticon

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I'll continue to survive!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

I am constantly amazed at the responses to my whinings in my blog... your support is mind blowing and head reeling, and utterly undeserved! Yet, as I read through the assorted responses, so many of them (us) are fighting the same demons, chasing the same train, and praying like they(we've) never prayed before!

Knowing that this community , their trials, tribulations, and celebrations depend on the strength of this unit as a whole, this gave me the strength to re-evaluate my own short comings and try to make straight the less than perfect path I have been carving over these past months. It will take time to fix the track my train is on...and the food demon wants out of his cage, in the worst way... but...I can do this...and I will do this. I just have to do it one day at a time... one meal at a time... and, yes, one bite at a time.

I know that every good choice I make will make me stronger... every bad choice is, well, in the past! I am moving forward... I cannot wallow in the mire of bad food decisions. There will be temptations and offers (of demon food) in my future...what will I decide?...I do not know. But I do know that if hunger is not the is not the solution! Just for today I am thankful to be alive...and here. Thank you is an inadequate term, but it is certainly from my heart... WE will survive!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PMCOPPI10 9/22/2010 12:07PM

Well put!
Thanks for the older sister advice and example.
I keep loosing the same pound and gaining the same pound.
But, for today I lost it again!!
We will survive. emoticon

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SING_LOUD 9/21/2010 12:23PM

    Marjorie, if you ever ran for President, I just want you to know that I'd vote for you!

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MS.ELENI 9/19/2010 7:19PM

    I feel the same way. We will survive emoticon

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MEMERE2003 9/19/2010 8:17AM

    Hang in there! You are right--there are A LOT of us fighting the same battle.

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What was I thinking?!?!?!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Okay... so I have been, not only off the wagon... but trying to run beside it and falling on my face...!!!! What was I thinking?!?!?!

Yes, even though I disregarded all the warning signs...ate the "forbidden" foods, strayed far from my "plan" and thought that I was lost forever... and, of course, I knew that I would gain 60 lbs before finding the way back... even with that terror in my brain, and the food demon in total control of my eyes, hands and mouth... Something in me kept saying..."You did this CAN do this again! NO, you WILL do this again! " Be the Prodigal daughter and go home and admit that you have sinned against the Father...etc"

So, I started to really look around...and lo and behold, I found, to my surprise, that I HAD NEVER EVEN LEFT THE STATION!!! The Spark train pulled in, and I climbed on without hesitation, placing the food demon's cage key back in my hip pocket! Lord knows how many times I thought the SP train had passed me by and that I would never be "sane" in this insane world, again.

I went back to basics...yes, I started reading the site from the beginning stages and re committed my goals and my was humbling and inspiring, at the same time! The tools and resources we have here are unbelievable...and the support...countless arms extended, ready for me to grab on and hold... well, need I say more???

Today is the first day of my journey back to health... I am grateful that the SP train has a flexible schedule, so that ANYONE can just put their hand up to wave at the conductor (perhaps it is only one finger) and the train will pull up to your feet... all you have to do is cross the threshold and hang on for dear life!

Breathe in, Breathe out, feel the sense of calm and control. Embrace that feeling and breathe in, breathe out... I had forgotten how wonderful it feels when your food is under control. Now, I will have lunch and go for a good walk... I am already smiling thinking about how I will feel when I am finished with my walk! Woo Hoo!

Thanks, SP for the space...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PMCOPPI10 9/22/2010 12:15PM

    Thank you for sharing your bottom...
Now, pick up that ladder and start climbing down again!!!
You can and will do this thing.
Your example will continue to help all of us on the Healthier Hoye team. God used you to create the team and now you will see it through. Wow, even a boy joined the group.
I love you,
emoticon emoticon

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JKERSHMAN 9/20/2010 2:32AM

    As you said to me recently.... Welcome Back! Love you!

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TMULHOLLAND7 9/19/2010 12:16AM

I love that you went back to basics and started over. Good for you. You are such an inspiration to me and so many others.
Don't forget to pray about it too. That really helps me.

emoticon emoticon

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LALMEIDA 9/18/2010 9:17PM


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MADDEELOU 9/18/2010 2:36PM

    Awesome blog. I loved the analogy. SparkPeople rocks and so do you. YOU CAN DO THIS!! emoticon

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MS.ELENI 9/18/2010 10:56AM

    I have been, not only off the wagon... but trying to run beside it and falling on my face...!!!! Wow sounds just like me. Must be catching

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TENOR4COUNTS 9/18/2010 8:08AM

    I can certainly relate to that! We have had a very hot summer, and that was my excuse to stop exercising - it was too exhausting in the heat. So I tried to watch my food intake (most of the time) and put on about 10 pounds.

Now that the weather is more reasonable and school has started, I signed up for a class at a local HS called "Adult Fitness". It turns out it is not really a class, but you get to use the exercise room and pool at the HS for 90 minutes every M-W-F evenings for the school year. I just finished my first week and, although sore, realize how much I need something like this. There are "regulars" who encourage newbies and can answer questions. What do you know? A support system! Where have I run into that concept before?

Now I have to try to find the time to get back to logging my intake and making sure I don't fall into the same trap of making excuses for not putting my health and fitness as a top priority in my life.

Keep up the good work! I know you can do it.

Bob emoticon

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GINGER1OF16 9/18/2010 3:16AM

    Marjijane, you are on the same journey that all of us are on. My weight has been stabilized for most of the summer, and it's been a real thrill for me. However, my biggest fear is that with the slightest fall from grace, all my efforts will have been futile and all the weight I've lost since January will instantly reappear. Intellectually, I know better. One of my mantras is "one day of bad choices will not undo a month's worth of good choices". Gratefully, Terry keeps reminding me that I said it. The "old tapes", though, are difficult to erase and seem to pop up at will. It is getting easier, however, and new positive tapes are replacing the old negative ones. Hang in there. Recommittment is a good thing and we are right there with you...more of us than before.
emoticon emoticonLoving you lots...Ginger

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LADYBUG1943 9/18/2010 12:19AM

    Your transformation is so motivating. Thanks for writing to this newby, and it sounds like you've got the demon on the run. emoticon

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LADYRH 9/17/2010 8:02PM

    Thanks I needed your post, I have been having trouble he past few days. I will be back on the SP TRAIN AGAIN TOMORROW.

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LAURAS14 9/17/2010 6:49PM

    Sometimes we get better exercise chasing the train so never be embarrased about not being on it! I hear you though!!! (PS. Is the conductor good looking at least?)

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RAINBOWFALLS 9/17/2010 6:44PM

    good luck

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JAKEANDNELLIE 9/17/2010 5:30PM

    I've been running behind the train with my arms stretched out the last few months - reach out and grab my hand!
I'm slowly getting things back together but have a long way to go before I reach the motivated and determined person I was. I find it hard to believe that I haven't gained weight beyond the five pounds I've been gaining and losing over and over and over for two months! It's gone now - hopefully for good.

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SING_LOUD 9/17/2010 4:52PM

    That food demon! Grr! I shake my fist at him! He's so frustrating!

Good for you getting back on the train. Girl, you are amazing and as always an inspiration to me. Thanks so much for being my friend! Love to Love you!!!!!

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IT_MEANS_DAGGER 9/17/2010 4:07PM

    Now that you have the food demon locked in its cage, let that key fall out of your pocket during you train ride to a better you. emoticon

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DCATNAPPER 9/17/2010 4:07PM

    I'm glad you were able to catch the train. Good for you!

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DSJB9999 9/17/2010 3:57PM

    Good luck!

Your final ideas have reminded me that I need to breathe deeply! Check my goals and keep out of the kitchen.

Thanks emoticon

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MMP526 9/17/2010 3:56PM


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We will NEVER forget...!!!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Today is 9-11 and it is 9 years since our Nation watched in horror as terrorists tried to bring us to our knees... Remember those who died in the events of that day, those who never saw it coming, those who saw and came to help, those who defended our freedom in the air, and all those who helped, with prayer and love and supplies... We will never forget. Today we fly our Flag to remember that Freedom is not Free... it comes at a very high price!

God Bless those who defend our right to live free, and God Bless those who died for that right, and God Bless those who were victims on 9-11, and God Bless America!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

My profile picture, today, reflects our rememberance... copy if you want to!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAHUNO2 9/12/2010 9:44AM

    emoticon emoticon
God Bless America!!

I also love your profile picture.

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JKERSHMAN 9/12/2010 3:06AM

    We certainly didn't forget today... and we NEVER will!!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JAKEANDNELLIE 9/12/2010 12:54AM

    Well said!

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GLAMNGLOWDIVA 9/11/2010 1:31PM

    Thank you for sharing. Always remember, never forget. In our hearts always. God Bless America.

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GINGER1OF16 9/11/2010 12:19PM

    Amen, Amen, Amen!!! emoticon

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MARYB8 9/11/2010 11:17AM

    We will never forget! Thank You!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SOFEDUPP 9/11/2010 10:22AM

    emoticon God Bless America!! emoticon

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MS.ELENI 9/11/2010 10:22AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JOYCEMARIE9 9/11/2010 9:27AM

    We will never forget Bless out firemen, policemen and Soldiers they will have our thanks forever. God Bless America! emoticon

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KCKGRANDMA 9/11/2010 8:37AM

  Thank you

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GRAMMYEAC 9/11/2010 7:10AM

    Thank you!

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WESLEYV 9/11/2010 7:00AM

    We must not ever forget!

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ROSEWCI 9/11/2010 5:43AM

    emoticon God bless America! Thank you troops!

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CYCLINGSANDY 9/11/2010 3:56AM

    I remember that day like it was yesterday. I did not lose anyone, but it changed my family's life. I have a son and a SIL that serve in the Army. My SIL leaves for his third deployment soon. I work at a school for children of military parents. Life have been changed forever because of that day. Today is Patriot's Day! Thank a military member for sacrificng for our freedom. emoticon

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SPARKLETHYME 9/11/2010 3:50AM

    It feels as though it happened yesterday, that horrible, horrible day. My heart goes out to the victims and those who loved them.

Never, never forget.

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This more time... Spark is the answer...

Monday, August 23, 2010

Today is Monday...I had a busy weekend, I was at a seminar for 3 days for my church and my brain is fried...BUT...I can see, now, that being here, at SparkPeople, is a good thing!

My food is "under control", although my time on the computer has been nearly nil and I sense that I have neglected my teams...BUT...I figured out how to access login for Spark on the mobile access site... no other pages were easy to access, but at least the log in, lol... so I made a commitment to myself that I would log in during the weekend, even if it took the last of my cell battery power to do it... and it did...twice! ! emoticon

I opted for the "don't worry about your food" attitude for the three days of the conference, and since I sat at a table for all three days, from 9:00am to 8:00pm with a couple of stretch breaks and45 minute meal times... I did not get my steps in... Our hotel did not have a fitness center, it was 107 degrees outside, and my roommate was 73 years old... I did manage to walk around the Church where the conference was, but I had to stay within the fenced school area due to the neighborhood. I only averaged 5800 steps instead of 10,000... I felt like such a slug! In retrospect, it seems that is the way I have been feeling since the first of July! Time to get out of my(dis) comfort zone!

Tomorrow I will weigh in... I will have a gain...but my attitude is fresh and I am feeling somewhat renewed... I have set myself a new challenge for my steps and, beginning tomorrow morning, I will, once again, begin to track my food intake, both online and in my written food journal. I figure that if I make it a written goal, then I will be more likely to do it. I am also hoping that next week will show at least a small loss on the scale... right this very moment, I am optimistic and calm, although dreading the scale reality... it doesn't matter, today is the first day of the rest of my life...I better make the most of it!

I am happy that I have Spark support, I know this is the "therapy" that I will need to be able to reach my ultimate goal! Forward...forward...forward... I have decided not to look back...sigh...and all is right with the world!

Thank you, all of you, in advance for the courage you have given me to go forward and not give up... I (we) will prevail and I will get there... one day at a time

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PMCOPPI10 8/26/2010 12:17PM

    You inspire me...just keep swimming just keep swimming...

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GINGER1OF16 8/26/2010 11:33AM

    You know what you need to do and we are the backup singers for your dedication and commitment. I know you can do what you envision because you have done it before. Go get 'em, girl! I love you. Mutual support is so productive. emoticon

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DEE107 8/24/2010 3:25PM

    great job coming to sparks

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SING_LOUD 8/24/2010 2:13PM

    "I (we) will prevail and I will get there... one day at a time."


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MOLLYBROWN55 8/23/2010 11:55PM

    You ROCK little sis! If not for you, none of us would be here! I love you for sharing SPARK with me! Congratulations on making the best of what you had to confront! That in itself is a "SUCCESS"!!!! I love you!!

Luv, emoticon & blessings!

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GAININGMYLIFE 8/23/2010 11:38PM

    Just keep moving forward. One step at a time. emoticon

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JAKEANDNELLIE 8/23/2010 11:30PM

    Just keep moving forward one day at a time.
Sometimes life gets in the way of what we know we want and need to do - but life is our number one priority!
You're back now and ready to make incredible progress!
Stay positive, cousin!

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MS.ELENI 8/23/2010 11:25PM

    Yesterday is a cancelled check and tomorrow is a promissory note. But today is cash ready for us to spend in living, emoticon

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WHOOPSIEDAISY 8/23/2010 9:31PM

    You did great. A little of something's a whole lot better than a lot of nothing! I'm impressed you went out in the heat. That is dedication. We're on a journey forward, not looking back is exactly right on the money.


Comment edited on: 8/23/2010 9:42:05 PM

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    Marjorie, I love your honesty. When things force us out of our "new" regualr schedule it can be so HARD to keep on track and so EASY to sit about doing little or nothing. It's easy to fall back into our old patterns even though they make us feel miserable and we KNOW it. I think you did a great job surviving the disruption to your routine and whether you gained, maintained or lost I know you'll be back on track soon.

Have a great week!

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FIA225 8/23/2010 8:07PM

    keep up that enthusiasm! :)

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