Friday, August 22, 2014
Today is not about food... today is about mind over matter. today is making hard, but good decisions that will affect my overall health and well-being, as well as my financial state. Today is another step in my on again off again journey to be more disciplined and focused on goals. Small goals, large goals, medium goals, tiny goals...yep...even itsy-bitsy goals. Start small and move forward.
I have gotten off that path and travelled afar, for being disciplined was far too difficult for me, or so I thought... watching my world change, physically and emotionally, I realized that the only constancy I have had is in my spiritual path. That is where strength is drawn and trust in the higher power makes sense... however, it seems that in letting go and letting God, I also forgot to include my well-being in that spiritual discipline.
It is easy to ignore my own needs while catering to others, but I am paying the price. My spiritual inventory of sacrifice, including prayer discipline and working for others, put my physical discipline on the 'back burner'. Today, reading an excerpt from Chris Downie's book, The Spark, I realized that in order to do what God wants me to do, I have to take better care of the body he gave me to use while on this earth. I cannot not include 'me' in the spiritual journey, and I need to be healthy to do it.
The last time I visited and blogged, was December 2013... I think that I must have been trying to put my toe back on the Sparkpath, but I was no where near committed to any kind of discipline.
DAY ONE... CHECKING IN...
It is good to vent.
Friday, December 07, 2012
Thank you all for the wonderful input and well wishes...I can see that the support here has not lightened since my leave... I anticipate that the journey, though long, will be one that I will not have to make alone!
Successful avoidance of the bad stuff for the rest of yesterday... today I packed tri-tip beef and a beautiful romaine salad... also, today is my anniversary and my DH and I are going to celebrate with dinner on the Queen Mary... It will be a lovely evening.
I am going to drink wine and champagne and eat whatever I am inclined... no guilt... and, God willing, tomorrow will be another day to make better choices!
I walked today... that is a bonus... havent done that in months! Woo Hoo!
Thursday, December 06, 2012
Is it really so bad that I have been so lax lately about my food intake and exercise? Really, is it?.."
AARGH! After taking some time and going back to read some of my older posts, I can see, ever so clearly, that the food demon has re- wedged himself firmly in my psyche! How could I let that happen?...Why must I always s have to be diligent? Why can't I be "normal" and live and breathe, and eat like"normal" people???
"Special is, as special does"... who said that? I am Special... I am Special, I am Special... Sigh... it sounds so wonderful, why is it that my brain discounts the entire idea?:?? What steps must I take to realize that, indeed, I am Special... there is no one like me... (insert demon talk here..."who would want to be like you?") Anyone else feel that way, too?
Yesterday, before 11am, I had consumed over 1,000 calories all refined carbs... Now, you may ask, how do you know that?... Somewhere, in my little old 'SP brain' is hidden the 'Iwanttobethinandhealthy' demon fighter... I heard her calling me in the night, begging me to 'honest up' and log the 'stuff' I ate yesterday... She has been trapped in the cold and dark corners of my conscience and, yet, is still able to stir up a bit of "OMG! FIX THAT!" attitude.
So, I said to myself, "Self, what was it you used to do to keep on track and honest about your food?" The answer came out of only God knows where... "You used the food tracker every day...and if you couldn't get online, you wrote it down in a journal." (that answer was tucked in next to my 'Iwanttobethinandhealthy' demon fighter) So this morning, I logged on to SparkPeople and I entered that morning portion of my yesterday's intake...When you see it, it all of it's glory, it is NOT really all that beautiful! But, by the time I did that this morning, I had already consumed a 600 calorie Bon Appetit Cheese Muffin (no, I did not look at the nutritional content before I ate it). To my subconscious horror, there are THREE servings in the muffin... 200 calories each serving! Yikes!
So...nearly half of my calories for the day gone...just like the wind... better choices...I must unearth the 'Iwanttobethinandhealthy' demon fighter and let her be the leader...I must retrain myself to follow the regimen that I have totally ignored for the last 9 months! Who did I think I am? I WANT THE REAL ME BACK!!!... the one that the 'Iwanttobethinandhealthy' demon fighter knows and loves... The one who can look at one day at a time and make choices that reflect the beautiful, thin and healthy person who is hidden under my layers of fat! From this moment on, today, I will fight the Food Demon! I can stand up to him, one choice at a time!
Now, that said, I did not plan my food for the day... I did not pack a lovely lunch, I do not have healthy snacks in my desk drawer. I know I have a challenge ahead of me...but let me see what kind of progress I can make today... just today... and then, God willing, I will be back to blog my results tomorrow, as the choices I make can only get better from here!
I am sorry, my fellow SparkPeople friends, that I have failed to be a sterling example and success story... I fell off the proverbial wagon and it is taking a Crane to lift me to an upright position, once again. I am fearful and I am weak...but I am determined. So, for now I will try to step up and let my demon fighter be 'in the light' so she can help me with the obstacles I will encounter. (Also, I guess it won't hurt to ask God to send His Angels to keep me out of the path of temptation.)
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
With a grateful heart, I wish you all a vey Blessed Thanksgiving.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Why should I care if the weekend is here or not? My days have pretty much been the same foodwise for the last two months... but what happens (outside of my eating) is similar to a show... always changing, always changing, always changing... no re-runs here!
Too much on your plate of life is just like too much food on your plate!
You can only consume so much and the excess seems to fall all around you, or pack you in.
When did my world become so ... so ... crazy? I remember saying yes to the work commitment and the church commitments and the singing commitments. I used to balance all of these with ease! What happened? Why do the days seem so short and the Q & As seem so long??? When did any of these become stressful?... they are not!
Please understand, I love my job, my boss, my hours! I love my Church, my class of 10-11-12yr olds that I teach. I love being on the RCIA team and helping adults to find their way to Christ. I love seeing my Church Community on Sunday mornings when my DH and I host the coffee and donuts to help build community. I love both of my choruses that I sing with and their directors. I love the sound that harmony makes when the chords are balanced just right. sigh... yes, I love all of these things... I love my DH, my kids and grandkids... and that includes the ones who live on their own and the ones who live in our home... I love it all!
I have to sort it out and see what is keeping me and my food on the "rush hour" plan...
Perhaps on Monday I will have cogitated enough to have an emerging plan for leveling my food and my life... but for today... one day at a time...
Get An Email Alert Each Time MARJIJANE Posts