Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Ah, turkey day, you are my holiday.
A day set aside to give thanks for the year behind, and the hopes ahead.
I love this day more than any other day of the year.
My children all sit around the table laughing, picking on each other, enjoying each other's company too. Some of them have children of their own now and we all watch their little faces to see glimpses of ourselves in them.
A day set aside for prayer, and supplication. For honoring the King of Kings and His unfailing love to provide in abundance. Sometimes abundance is a bunch, and sometimes not so much, but either way, it's a good day to give thanks.
Bless you all on the eve of Turkey Day.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
I have been working my Celebrate Recovery program for 126 days now. It has seemed easy, but there are days that I have to admit have been hard. Really hard. And the funny thing is, what's the hard part is staying out of denial.
Denial about how much I'm eating, how much I want to eat, and moreover, WHY I want to eat it. I have to spend every day keeping my emotions in check....facing the reality of every situation, and admitting that I personally am powerless to control the monster of overeating. I think I can cram in about 4000 calories without a blink.
And so I use my faith, I use the scriptures, and the encouragement of people who are in the program with me (albiet for other issues) and it works.
Today is a hard day. The house is clean, not a lot to do. I made posole because it's cold outside, and it seems a good day to keep returning to the kitchen and pick, pick, pick. Without Spark People trackers, I would have eaten so much more today than I should have. I have been wondering why I chose the comfort of food to "fix" my life's problems...
With CR, I have learned to express my emotions without being a Dumbo-head about it and spilling out what's eating me inside as I want to eat everything in sight. I am truly grateful for the program. And I was like a lot of other people who "tsk'd" away the whole thing as a group for "those people". Those people. Ha. I AM those people. And they are me.
So for today, I am dealing with the monster of overeating one moment at a time. One thought at a time. One effort at a time. I may not lose my weight in 8 weeks like the folks on Biggest Loser, but I'm losing it and one day I'll stand on the scale at my goal weight.
And the Monster of Overeating will be a thing of my past...forever ready for another battle, but defeated nonetheless.
Sunday, November 17, 2013
I love this picture, it was taken by my friend Annie Keys out of Florida at an old fort there. I just had to add the scripture to it, it seems so appropriate.
Wow! What a week!
I had plans to babysit my littlest granddaughter while her dad attended school this week; on Sunday my son was rushed to the hospital with a 7mm kidney stone that he could not pass and he had emergency surgery on Tuesday....and while he was sitting in the hospital waiting to regain feeling in his legs (they did a spinal), his wife was called to come fill out paperwork for her newly hired job...so I had to leave ALL four of my grandkids and head off to the hospital to sit and stare at him....LOL.
That made for a very long day.
Then I twisted my back somehow on Thursday and have been crippling around ever since; but I was able to go walking anyway. Not on the long hauls, but at least a couple of miles before I started to cry LOL.
And I thought about how tired I got, and about how frustrated it was having all the kids and trying to juggle so many responsibilities (take this one to school, this one to preschool, take this one's lunch, get this one's diapers, sit here with him....) whew. All of that craziness and not once dd I speak to God. I forgot him in all of the equation. Wow, that was a mistake. Things would have surely gone a lot better if I had asked God to direct my steps each moment.
So, I'm back on track, remembering that He is the center of my universe, the purpose for my life.
Can't wait to see the scale move in a couple of weeks when I check it out.
Happy Sunday, Life.
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