Friday, May 15, 2009
Today I will be graduating from Arizona Western College with a occupational degree in Microcomputer Business Applications....and I am not excited at all. My sister who lives 5 hours away wont come, my niece got really sick this wednesday and they aren't taking any chances, I totally understand. She had to be taken to the ER this week. My best friend is in Mexico City...yeah...not coming. My hubby will work tonight, he will attend the ceremony but will leave after its done to work (remember he is a drummer in a band and plays at a bar). But my parents are staying with me and of course my son.
You know...I'm really pissed off. My hubby was busy all week....well he seems to always be busy....for family stuff. Last week I had to go to a ceremony and they gave us this medal and certificates for graduating, he didn't go. I felt so upset..thank god I had my parents to come or I would have broken down. Hubby was working, he said he would make it and didn't. I was so mad because he didn't even say Congratulations or maybe a "i'm proud of you" nothing. I had to confront him about it. He told me he was proud of me...blah blah.
I am basically not celebrating my grad. How sad is that!
I am going back to college though...after attending last week's ceremony I was motivated to do what I've always wanted, have a business or be a professor at college level, major: business administration. So...monday I went to the college and registered for 2 summer classes, and 3 for fall. If everything goes well I will be finishing my associates in bus. administration in December of 2010, and then going to the university for my bachelors...and then....my master's. I know I will be like 35 or something like that by the time I finish (im 24) but I don't care. I want to do this. For me.... I have a feeling that I need this. That my future cannot depend on hubby's job or education, no. I have always been independent, and somehow I've been letting that go, and I hate it.
So sorry...this is more a rant. Im off to decorating my own grad' cake. yeah... I even have to do that myself.
have a good weekend everyone...
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
This blog is filled with mixed emotions. I got on the scale yesterday... 154... yes... 154. This is 16 lbs less then what I weighed when I found out I was pregnant over 3 years ago. I can't believe I am thinner than I was then. I am thrilled to be only 9 lbs away from my 145 lb goal weight. Is it really possible?......................... I didn't think so at first, now I am in shock, in shock because I am doing this. I am really reaching my goal.
I am also feeling a bit sad. Sad because I am more comfortable with my eating choices than ever. I am able to make wise decisions on my own, without having to log in and track every bite. I've lost 4 lbs on my own now, in this short period of time. It's sad because I don't feel the need to log in any more. I think that is really good, I mean that is what we all want right? But I feel sad because I feel I am distancing myself from all those great people that have helped me through this journey, my 3 spark teams. It hurts...but I know I am doing good right? Isn't this what we want? To be able to eat and live correctly on our own? Now I am not so sure, because I feel this hole I guess in my daily routine.
Sorry if I don't post much teams... I still love every one of you and I miss you spark friends. Please understand me. You are always in my mind, because without each other's support we would not be here.
I am starting once again my p90x routine. This will be my 2nd round. I am excited. My hubby is doing it too, but he's switching the cardio workouts for running, I'm sticking to the routine. I'm not a very good runner.
On a positive note... I met one of my 2009 goals...REGULAR PUSHUPS! I did my workout last night which has tons of push ups, different kinds, and I did at least the first 5 of each kind on my feet, not on my knees!!! My hubby was impressed. I was too. I couldn't believe it.
THank You teams!!!
I love you and miss you all!
Special Shout out to Ana & Jenn!!!!
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