MARIELAMS   17,957
15,000-19,999 SparkPoints
MARIELAMS's Recent Blog Entries

I have completely suprised myself today

Thursday, August 28, 2008

I have seen myself as overweight and ugly for months now. Looking at myself would make me want to go in hiding. My husband always told me I was crazy. That I was beautiful and that I looked great...I never believed him.

This morning I woke up at 5:45 am, and did about 30 minutes of Tae Bo. I was sweating so much, I couldn't believe it! Took a shower and looked at myself...and to my surprise without disgust.

I am now here browsing through the sparkpages and reading these amazing stories, then back to my own page. And I look at myself in those pictures, and I am suddenly not that fat and not that ugly.

I've been here for 3 days and I am so motivated that I'm not being so hard on myself. Today I am proud of me. I'm not embarrassed to look at my own pictures. The same pictures I had looked at weeks ago with disappointment.

Thanks Spark people! You are all amazing, thanks for slowly transforming my life into a whole different perspective.

I have attached a picture I was not too happy with a few weeks ago. Now I am. This is me at the Castillo de Chapultepec in Mexico CIty.

SI SE PUEDE!!!! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROXY_SKY 9/24/2008 10:44PM

  solo paso a saludarte!! y ha echarte porRAS!!
aunk se k estas bieN motivada..
OYes lei tu receta d lentejas y manana jueves
las voy aser!!
me enkantan las lentejas
pero NUNka las e echO
kon tosiNo!! asi k pues suenan muy
riKas y las voy a tratar :D


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The beginning of a new life

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Ever since I had my son, which was 22 months ago...I've been battling my own self. I am 23 years old, 5ft 9 in, and weigh 183. The highest I've been is 209.5 that was when i was pregnant and the lowest would be around 135 when I first started dating my husband.

I've always been outgoing and never thought of my body image that deeply. But I gained a few pounds and was not happy with it but not so much bothered. When I got married I weighed about 165. I am now 183.

The birh of my son has been the best thing to happen to me, but I've had to bring myself to happiness about myself. I hate my body, I hate how I look naked, I hate not beign able to wear shorts because my butt is too big and just doesn't look right.

For me the most painful experience was beign pregnant and having everyone tell you, you look so pretty and so good pregnant, then....having your child, ending with 30 lbs over your weight and then the same people looking at you and telling you, you are too fat, or you need to get exercise or don't eat that you dont need it. Its a complete contrast of compliments. And the hurt me so much. I've been depressed and have had my ups and downs since the birth of my son.

I recently decided I needed a change. I am 23 years young, I have a job, a husband, a son, and a family that loves me. Why should I waste my life crying and not loving myself for who I am? If I am not happy I should make a change. Yesterday I took that step into changing my life. And here I am. I don't care how long it takes or what it takes, I will not worry about how I look because I will reach my goal weight and be comfortable in my own skin once again.

I am grateful for a supportive family and husband. And I will make them and the other SP members proud. I want to be an inspiration for those young men and women struggling with depression because of weight. We can do this. I can do this. I promise to be committed for me, my son, for my family.
I will succeed, and I know I will have you all to support me as well.

I don't like to publicize my blogs...but I feel the need to do it, in order to get my feelings out, and succeed, so I will.

Today, I am beginning a new life.
Marcia emoticon


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