Sunday, August 01, 2010
Well, it's the end of the month. Actually, I just noticed, in one minute it will be, no, wait. It's officially midnight so it's now August. I can NOT wait to get on the scale in the morning. I have high hopes. As I mentioned in the last blog, or at least a recent blog, it's been a VERY, very long time since I ended a month weighing less than when I started the month. Also, as I mentioned, I was 2 pounds down yesterday. Today's weight was the same. Still 2 pounds down. So assuming I don't blow up from excitement I should finally end this era of weight gain rather than loss. I'm pretty dang excited. And Extremely nervous. I behaved really well yesterday and today. But still. Since I "just know" I'm going to be successful, it probably means I'll wake up and show a 10 pound gain.
Phew. I've got to breathe. Breathe and relax. Don't get too excited. Excited causes nerves and nerves causes you to gain weight. Granted, lately, even breathing seems to cause me to gain weight. Well, we'll see what the scale says in the morning.
And if the scale has ugly things to say, I'll blame it on my leg. The last 2 days, it's been swelling pretty badly and aching a lot more than normal. Ice and ibuprofen seem to help the swelling a lot, but 10 minutes back on my feet and it's puffed up again. Argh.
Oh, and I'd like to thank everyone who's left me replies or comments lately. I haven't had a chance to respond to everyone individually. Yesterday and today have been insane. In an AWESOME way! My SIL was cleaning out her closet and invited me to come go through the stuff she was getting rid of. Oh My Gosh. She OBVIOUSLY has a shopping problem. But hey, I am NOT complaining. I ended up with 5 contractor size garbage bags (big enough to line your outdoor trash can) FULL of clothes, 8 purses and new quilt sets (including mattress pads) for each of our beds. You should have seen my car - it was crammed full and it's a big car - a full size SUV. I had to stop for laundry detergent on the way home and honestly wasn't sure if I was going to be able to fit the jug in the car. LOL So, yesterday was spent picking up the clothes, loading them into the car and unloading them once I got home. I spent over 3 hours last night doing nothing but trying on clothes and hanging them in the closet. Eventually, my knee started aching so bad and I was so sick of clothes I stopped for the night. Today, I spent another hour plus trying on the rest and another hour or so trying to figure out where to put them all. I now have more new clothes than I had old! I am SO excited. The funny thing is, there were only 2 or 3 clothing items I'd have picked for myself. All the others are SO not me and yet, they are adorable on. Well, a few of the shirts are just ok, not adorable, but you get the idea. I'm pretty excited to be breaking out of my mold and trying something new. Now, lets see if I ever wear the new stuff. I have a very bad habit of ignoring my "good" clothes and turning to the same 4 t-shirts and shorts day after day after day. I don't want to mess up the good stuff so I wear the t-shirts. Well, now I have so many clothes, I need to mess up a little of the good stuff. I've got to hurry up and ruin a few pieces so that I have a little more room in the closet. Thank God I had a huge closet and a pathetically small amount of clothes before.
Oh and just think - all that clothes trying on has got to have burned a few calories.
Wish me luck in the morning and Happy August!
And please! How did it get to be August already?? Where has the summer gone? I haven't even done anything to pass the time and yet it's flown by. Of course, now that i have 50 new sweaters and a gazillion jackets, I can NOT wait for fall and/or winter!
Ok, I really am getting off of here this time. Except I'm sort of afraid to. I'm hungry. It's after midnight and my tummy is growling. It has been over 6 hours since dinner. But I really don't want to be eating at midnight. And I really, really don't want to eat anything more than absolutely necessary before tomorrow's weigh-in. Hope I can sleep with a growling tummy.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Well I'm a happy camper today! And this has absolutely nothing to do with my health or weight loss. Well, maybe it does have to do with my mental health....
I turned on the news this morning and the first thing I saw was this weekend's forecast. It's going to be in the 80's all weekend instead of in the 100's.
Next, was a report on storm damage from the storms that rolled through last night. OH YEAH!! A big dental office got hit by lightening and burned to the ground.
I absolutely HATE the dentist. Any dentist. I know it's not nice to wish a stranger bad luck, but .... if lightening had to strike something, it did a VERY good job of choosing a dental office. I guess I should explain some of my dental hatred. My childhood dentist was a sadistic child molester and was eventually arrested for making S&M videos ... with 3 year olds! Anyway, I HATE the dentist.
Ok, let's turn this back to my health.... If I can maintain it through tomorrow, I'll have lost 2 pounds this month. Woo-hoo! Ever since November, 2009, I have ended each month heavier than where I started it. It's been Very frustrating. I dip way down, well, maybe not "way" down, but my weight dips mid month, then Bam! It shoots way up for the last few days. So, now I'm a nervous wreck worrying about what the scale will say tomorrow, but at the same time, I'm super determined to behave and make sure I finally get to log in a loss instead of a gain. Wish me luck. I AM going to behave. I'm going to behave. I'm behaving, I'm behaving...
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Yesterday, I had to take my son to the doctor's office because of an ear infection. While we were there, I asked the doctor a weight question that's been bugging me for a while. See, I had back surgery many years ago, had lots of "parts" removed and the result is that I'm almost 2.5 inches shorter than I used to be. And everyone (the gym professionals, my fellow Sparkers...) tell me that my weight goal should be based on my new, shorter height. But that seems so wrong. After all, the rest of my body is built and geared to be taller, and therefore, I should weigh more. Or at least that's the way it seems to me.
So anyway, I asked the doctor what my goal should be. Do I strive for the healthy range for the old, taller me or the new, shorter me, or somewhere in the middle? His response was "Are you talking about those charts? Don't pay attention to the charts. They are 90 years old, outdated and ridiculous. Ignore the charts. Instead, eat healthy, exercise daily and when you feel good and your weight levels out and you stop loosing, you are at the correct weight for your body."
Hmmm... I think I LOVE that doctor! The scale says I'm 40 pounds over weight based on the charts, but I've been eating healthy, exercising and my weight has remained steady for many, many months now. Maybe I'm at my correct weight. Yay!
Except, am I eating healthy? What exactly did he mean by that? Did he really mean if I'm eating based on the food pyramid and being honest about my portions? Did he mean that the spoon full of peas in my salad does not get counted as a full serving of vegetables and the half gallon of ice cream I polished off has to be counted as more than "a" serving? Crud.
And what about daily exercise? Hmmm.. Did he really mean daily exercise? Exercise every day? Does running 3 times a week for 45 - 60+ minutes at a time count? And now that I'm having knee problems and can't run, does limping around instead of running or even going for a walk and doing some leg stretching several times a day count as daily exercise? Double crud.
And what about that "when you feel good" comment? I do feel good. I feel a million trillion times better than I felt a year and a half ago. But how much better would I feel if I lost another 40 pounds. Or even 20 pounds. Actually, I was 20 pounds lighter last November and I did feel a lot better then. So I guess I can't check off the "when I feel good" box. Triple crud.
So maybe I'm not so in love with that doctor.
And what the heck should I be striving for if it's not a number on a chart? How do I set goals if there's no specific number to strive for? How do I know when I've reached the weight where I feel the best? Aack! I think I'll just go back to using the charts.
One good note about the charts, they say my son is exactly where he's supposed to be weight wise. He's right smack, dead center of the healthy range for his height. So take that, Grandma! He's not too skinny.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I am SO sick of fat people trying to make me feel guilty for wanting to loose weight and get healthy. Really, really sick of it.
I've had this nagging little thought in the back of my mind for a while and comments about my son this past weekend brought the thought a little closer to the front of my brain. Then a few minutes ago, I was reading a Spark buddy's blog and he said something about being content with his not-to-goal-yet weight because over weight people kept telling him not to loose any more weight. Well, that was the tipping point and I'm in full fledge rant mode now.
How many times have I had to defend myself because I'm trying to watch what I eat, get a little exercise and reach a healthy weight? More times than I can count. And who am I defending myself from? My friends and family that are huge and under a doctor's care for high blood pressure, heart problems and diabetes. And these are the people fussing at me because I might get too skinny because I choose not to eat a triple bacon cheeseburger. Sheesh.
And then there was the incident this weekend with my son. He'd spent the weekend with my MIL. We went to pick him up and ended up having a family Sunday dinner. Granted, my son is a VERY picky eater. Frankly, I believe he has some sort of eating disorder because he's beyond picky but we've never had him diagnosed. We just deal with his texture, taste, smell, color aversions. Anyway.... all of a sudden, the MIL and SIL start picking on him for being too skinny. Sheesh. Lay off the kid! Ok, so yes, he's thin, but not unhealthily so. He's in the correct healthy weight zone for his height. It's just that everyone else in the family is over weight. And honestly, they aren't over weight. They are down right fat.
So, stop picking on my kid for being healthy!!!
I swear, the next time someone says something to me about being too skinny when I'm still 40+ pounds from my healthy goal weight, I'm going to tell them what I think. They are going to find out just how fat and unhealthy I think they are. And they'll probably never speak to me again, but right now, I don't care. I just hope that telling them off burns a few calories.
Boy, do I need to run.
Monday, July 26, 2010
What the heck's wrong with me. I don't think I've been 8 days without blogging since I joined Spark. Good grief.
So, what have I been doing instead? Not much, in all honesty. My knee is messed up again so I haven't been running. I haven't gone to the doctor, but several exercise fanatic/enthusiast buddies have declared that I've "pulled a hamstring." Not sure exactly what "pulled" means - does that mean torn or destroyed or just over worked? Anyway, I still have the nice, visible lump behind my knee. Said lump doesn't hurt although I still can't completely straighten my leg. Actually, I can straighten it now, but I can't "lock" my knee. It won't quite straighten to that point. And when I get up after sitting for any length of time, it takes a few minutes for that knee to straighten out enough to walk normally. Still, it doesn't hurt at all. Except when I try to run. When I attempt to run, it feels like the muscle directly behind my knee is going to rip in half. So I'm not running at the moment. Boo Hiss!
I have just spent 4 wonderful days alone with the hubby though. The kids went to Grandma's for a visit and hubby and I found ways to entertain ourselves. Ways I won't go into here. Lets just say it was a Very relaxing and enjoyable four days.
Ooh, and those four days were calorie free. Well, not 100% calorie free, we did eat, but we didn't eat 10,000 calorie meals followed by 1000 bottles of wine like our normal kid-free vacations.
Other than that, absolutely nothing has been going on in my life. I've put in a few hours on the exercise bike, but not as many as I should have put in. Not nearly as many hours as I'd have spent running if I was able to run. As I've mentioned before, our bike is a Goodwill reject and it's not the most comfortable, fun bikes to ride. The gauges don't work so you don't know how far/fast you are going which totally annoys me plus the seat doesn't go up high enough for me. It's almost high enough, but not quite. I've got some pretty long legs on me. Anyway, it kinda makes my knees ache to pedal it for long. That's my excuse anyway.
The job search continues but has so far been pointless. Not getting the job that I was qualified for and the only person to apply was a bit of a hit to the old ego. It's probably for the best, the pay would have totally sucked, but... I still like the idea of wearing shorts and a t-shirt to work.
Being jobless is starting to be pretty worrisome, although it does have it's good points. I haven't bought anything in over 2 weeks with the exception of milk. We've just been eating out of the pantry and freezer, which is a good thing. Boy, some of that stuff in there has been around for a while. I even discovered a bunch of frozen fruit from 2008. Yikes! Being broke is also helping me deal with the sugar & salt cravings. Instead of rushing out to buy ice cream and crackers, I'm gritting my teeth and playing a LOT of computer solitaire. Anyway, the point is, maybe being broke will help me loose some weight. Nothing else seems to be helping.
Wow. For someone who had absolutely nothing to say, but felt like she needed to blog since it had been so long, I sure have managed to make this a long blog.
Ok, so not much has been going on. But there are things to look forward to. Grandma is taking the kids to Florida for a couple of weeks at the end of August / beginning of September. The neighborhood kids go back to school in four and a half weeks. Good grief! Where has summer gone?? But who cares. There's back to school shopping to be done. I LOVE school supply shopping. I absolutely LOVE a new pen and a notebook. Always have. Took many a college class simply so I'd have an excuse to buy a new pen and notebook. Yes, I am sick and twisted. Who cares. I LOVE school supplies. But what I love even more, and yes, this one's kind of mean and hateful of me. Hey - I never said i was nice. Since we've been homeschooling and since the public school systems have begun dictating what color notebooks and rulers... the kids have to use, my favorite back to school shopping experience is to stand in the crowded school supply aisle at Walmart and rather loudly ask the kids if they need any supplies this year. Their answer is always "no." Ok, yes, it's mean. But it is so fun to watch these other public school parents with their eyes bugging out because their school supply list says little Johnny has to have a red, 2-inch 3-ring binder with pockets and there are none to be found. And here we are, we don't even need to buy notebook paper. Just one of the many perks of homeschooling.
Ok, well, I'm off of here. Gotta go work on our school plans. I'm determined to get the year mapped out in advance so that if I do get a job, the kids won't be able to use the old "We didn't know what to do" excuse for not getting their work done.
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